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RE: guilt over changing churches? - 8/1/2008 12:19:28 AM
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nicole6598
Posts: 3957
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
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Sandy I am glad that Justin was able to tell him so you can now sort of move on. Don't worry about it. I know its easier said than done, but what's the worrying going to achieve? They said they love you still, it will be fine. hugs to you!
_____________________________
Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
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RE: guilt over changing churches? - 8/1/2008 10:38:51 AM
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Sadey
Posts: 524
Joined: 7/25/2007
Status: offline
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Sandy I feel bad for you and know how hard it is to leave a church. We left after 30 years and God told us not to tell anyone the real reason. So we just told people that God said it was time to leave.
But you and your husband aren't just leaving your church, you are being called into the ministry, Wow, what an exciting time in your life. You aren't leaving because of hard feelings, you are leaving to go to the place God has called you to. Double Wow. This is really out of your hands so please don't beat yourself up over this. God has called your husband into the ministry. Triple Wow.
God bless you and I hope you can share this calling with your friend and share being a pasor's wife with each other
I have a feeling that you will be given so many opportunites to minster and will your kind and loving heart, you'll do great.
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RE: guilt over changing churches? - 8/1/2008 12:24:50 PM
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manda59
Posts: 5437
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BlessedMamaofmany
I know exactly what it's from...and I don't mind saying. It's a constant struggle.
My parents fought a lot when I was young. My dad drank A LOT and was a jerk often (not abusive..just a jerk). My dad and I DID NOT get along...
My parents split up several times...4th grade, 6th grade, 8th grade, and finally divorced when I was 16. I'm the oldest, my brother was a trainwreck. I was indirectly responsible for keeping peace between him and I. If I was a good girl, that made it that much easier...kwim?
(to give my parents credit, they rarely fought in front of us..but I *knew* they did, you could cut the tension in my house with a butter knife..)
Thankfully, my dad is a wonderful grandpa and has quit drinking. My mom is saved (working on my dad) and has always been a wonderful mom.
I hate that about myself. I make myself sick with worry sometimes. I just don't know how to deal with it. How to change it. I try so hard...
Anyhoo. That's my trainwreck. 
(((( Sandy ))))
When I asked you what I did, without knowing anything about you I thought "alcoholic parent" and "good girl".
That isn't because I am being particularly insightful, it's because I remember it from both my counselling training, and counselling I myself received during that time.
Being a "good girl" is a coping mechanism learned out of desperation in order to survive.
A "good girl" tends to measure her worth in the world by her ability to win approval - and if she does not do so regards herself as a failure.
Sandy, a trained professional counsellor will be able to assist you work to through it all, if ever you decide you want help.
_____________________________
"I think my computer needs a "What Manda just said" button." 1mlasp July 2008
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RE: guilt over changing churches? - 8/1/2008 1:10:16 PM
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BlessedMamaofmany
Posts: 1822
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Just north of nowhere
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: BlessedMamaofmany
I know exactly what it's from...and I don't mind saying. It's a constant struggle.
My parents fought a lot when I was young. My dad drank A LOT and was a jerk often (not abusive..just a jerk). My dad and I DID NOT get along...
My parents split up several times...4th grade, 6th grade, 8th grade, and finally divorced when I was 16. I'm the oldest, my brother was a trainwreck. I was indirectly responsible for keeping peace between him and I. If I was a good girl, that made it that much easier...kwim?
(to give my parents credit, they rarely fought in front of us..but I *knew* they did, you could cut the tension in my house with a butter knife..)
Thankfully, my dad is a wonderful grandpa and has quit drinking. My mom is saved (working on my dad) and has always been a wonderful mom.
I hate that about myself. I make myself sick with worry sometimes. I just don't know how to deal with it. How to change it. I try so hard...
Anyhoo. That's my trainwreck.
(((( Sandy ))))
When I asked you what I did, without knowing anything about you I thought "alcoholic parent" and "good girl".
That isn't because I am being particularly insightful, it's because I remember it from both my counselling training, and counselling I myself received during that time.
Being a "good girl" is a coping mechanism learned out of desperation in order to survive.
A "good girl" tends to measure her worth in the world by her ability to win approval - and if she does not do so regards herself as a failure.
Sandy, a trained professional counsellor will be able to assist you work to through it all, if ever you decide you want help.
I know I need it probably. Just kinda chicken to actually start it. I find it very difficult to face those kinds of things and share my deepest thoughts and feelings.
I saw my pastor's wife/Dear friend today at the farmer's market. I felt a tiny bit of awkwardness between us. I *can't* talk to her (for reason above..too chicken to share)...maybe I'll email her today. I know I can express myself so much better in writing...hence why I sound so brilliant and articulate on here right? (STOP LAUGHING) 
_____________________________
The Daily Poop
DustySgt
I  my soldier!
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
 MOO
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