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CrimsonMoon -> The Bible for Theistic Evolutionists (7/20/2008 7:07:57 PM)
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Genesis / Creation In the beginning, God created the heaves and the earth. Then God said, "Let there be a one-cell organism." And God saw the one cell-organism was good. An indiscernible age of time passed. The first indiscernible age of time. Then God said, "Let the one-cell organism multiply and evolve". And the one-cell organism multiplied over an indiscernible age of time. The second indiscernible age of time. Then God said, "Let there be moss." And God saw the moss, that it was good. An indiscernible age of time passed. The third indiscernible age. Then God said, "Let the moss become shrubs and trees." And after an indiscernible age of time, shrubs and trees evolved from the moss. An indiscernible age of time passed. The fourth indiscernible age. Then God said, "Let there be death and suffering. Let pain be throughout all the earth." And there was death. And God saw the death, and God called the death good. Then God said," Let there be dinosaurs, to rule the earth. But God did not like the dinosaurs and so he sent a plague to kill them off. And an indiscernible age of time passed. The fifth indiscernible age. Then God said, "Let the fish that evolved from the one-cell organism become a tetrapod and speciate into a variety of tetrapods. Let one of them become an amniote and let amniote develop into several subgroups. Let one of these be a mammal, and from this mammal, let there be an ape-type creature and let it continue to evolve until it is made in my image." And an indiscernible age of time passed. The sixth indiscernible age. Then God rested for an indiscernible age of time. The seventh indiscernible age of time. Genesis / The Flood: God observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth, and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. So the Lord was sorry he ever allowed them to evolve and put them on the earth. It grieved his heart. And the Lord said, I will wipe this human race I have created from the face of the small area of Mesopotamia. Yes, I will destroy every living thing – all the people, the large animals, the small animals that scurry along the ground, and even the birds of the sky, well at least those that inhabit Mesopotamia. I am sorry I ever allowed them to evolve. Now God saw that the earth had become corrupt and was filled with violence. God observed all this corruption in the world. for everyone on earth was corrupt. So God said to Noah, “I have decided to destroy all living things (in Mesopotamia) for they have filled the earth with violence.” “But Lord,” Noah replied. “It will take me 100 years to build an ark according to your specifications. Wouldn’t it be easier for me to just leave Mesopotamia and move to, say, Egypt?” Behold! I am about to cover the earth, I mean Mesopotamia, with a flood that will destroy every living thing that breathes, well, everything in Mesopotamia that is. Everything on the earth, I mean Mesopotamia, will die. For forty days the floodwaters rose higher and higher above the ground lifting the boat high above the earth. Finally the water covered even the highest mountains on the earth, rising more than twenty-two feet above the highest peaks -- (oops, sorry, scribal error) – rising more than twenty-two feet above Mesopotamia. But God put up a barrier around Mesopotamia to contain the flood waters to protect Egypt and the other areas of the world, the people who were corrupt and wicked and filled with violence, the large animals, the small animals, and the birds that inhabit the air. EXODUS The Lord came down on Mount Sinai and called Moses to the top of the mountain. And wrote on tablets of stone in his own hand. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath unto Me your God… because after unspecified ages of time I made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and then rested for an unspecified age of time, therefore I am blessing the seventh day, and hallowing it." Gospel of Matthew Some Pharisees cam and tried to trap him with this question: Should a man be permitted to divorce his wife for just any reason?” Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning God made them male and female. And by the beginning, naturally I do not mean the beginning, but after billions and billions of years after the creation of the single-cell organism, and of course when there existed both a male and female of the evolved ape type creature that by random chance evolved into the image of God. ” Gospel of Luke Jesus was known as the son of Jospeh, the son of Heli, the son of Mattat……the son of Noah (who was spared from the great flood of Mesopotamia), the son of Methuselah…..the son of Seth (who is an allegory) the son of Adam (also an allegory) the son of God (sorry, scribal typo) the son of the ape-type creature, the son of the mammal, the son of the amniote, the son of the tetrapod, the son of the fish, the son of the one-celled organism, the son of God. Romans For all creation is eagerly waiting for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will all creation -- I mean -- for it was part of God’s plan that all creation be subjected to God's curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God's children in the glorious freedom from death and decay which God created it under. 2 Peter The deliberately forget that God made the heavens by the word of his command and that he brought the earth out from the water and surrounded it with water (sorry, typo) that he brought the earth from the land and surrounded it by land, then created water an indiscernible age later. Then he used the water to destroy the earth, I mean Mesopotamia, with a great, er, local flood. My point to all this is very simple. Why is it that creationists are the ones accused of reading meaning into scripture that isn’t there? How is it that we are accused of NOT reading from the text (exegesis)? (And please, don’t try to explain why my creation example does not perfectly follow evolution as I am trying to make a hermeneutic point not explain the cosmology of evolutionists.)
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