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RE: The easily offended - 7/28/2008 5:56:12 PM
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revbob4God
Posts: 602
Joined: 7/25/2008
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quote:
Is there a moral issue here? At what point does being "overly-sensitive" cross the lines of being manipulative for attention or simply "self-absorbed"? Or does it? How do you know when someone is just genuinely extra-sensitive to something because they are wounded or they are just looking for reasons to be offended or taking aggression out on you? How do you deal with folks/posters like this? Do you try to appease them? Just keep apologizing? Or push them away?
My precious sister. I enounter this as well, and I find that usually, people who are easily offended are people who are probably already upset about something else and maybe even having a really trying day so that something that would not normally make them offended on any other terms makes them offended.
People can use this tactic to try and get attention as well as to divert it from them or an issue when it gets uncomfortable, although some people may genuinely be wounded and not healed and get offended due to not being able to make someone understand that something is bothering them, thus also making them feel like no one cares...
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Now, how to appease them. Just remember whatever is upsetting them does not have to upset you. Pushing would likely be construed as hostile. Under no circumstances should you laugh out loud, although humor is very very good for the soul and other things as well.
The best thing to do is if you encounter someone all wound up, don't let them wind you up. Don't argue or pursue unless it is about something that matters to you. Of course you may listen, or not listen. Or even ignore them, act like you are listening and just let them tirade themselves out. Point is, you cannot reason with someone who is ranting or angry.
There was a huge tirade the other day about Bible theme napkins or plain napkins for the VBS snacks. It got downright hostile. Women got downright ugly. For a long while, I wondered if they realized I was sitting right there, shaking my head, and probably with a big clueless look on my face. Through it all though, I just sat there, looked thoughtful, or so I hoped, and then, when everyone calmed down, people were genuinely apologizing right and left and we went with the plain napkins.
What I am trying to say is that you can control some of that by not letting it control you.
< Message edited by revbob4God -- 7/28/2008 6:08:29 PM >
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RE: The easily offended - 7/28/2008 7:46:04 PM
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yustme
Posts: 378
Joined: 5/2/2007
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I,for one,don't care If a person "tells me like It Is",or gives me their "opinion",just don't be sarcastic about It.I see a lot of that on these threads.The Bible says "A soft answer turneth away wrath".I think there are a lot of people who need to read the book of James.
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RE: The easily offended - 7/28/2008 9:15:26 PM
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Blazingson
Posts: 91
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: yustme
I,for one,don't care If a person "tells me like It Is",or gives me their "opinion",just don't be sarcastic about It.I see a lot of that on these threads.The Bible says "A soft answer turneth away wrath".I think there are a lot of people who need to read the book of James.
I agree. I've seen alot of it on these threads as well and you're absolutely correct when you say that "A soft answer turneth away wrath."
But on the other hand, I've seen a large number of people who are telling others, "how it is" and expressing their "opinions" as if they were indisputable truth, when they know nothing except what those others choose to reveal on these forums. In actuality, there is no way they can know the truth or all the details and to speak as if they do is not only arrogant, it's hurtful many times. I've seen alot of mean things said on these forums but justified by someone saying that they are giving "godly advice in love" or that it is what that other person "needed to hear". There are many people on these forums that are speaking as if they are authorities on the lives of near complete strangers and telling them what they are doing wrong and what they need to do without knowing what is really happening, only what is revealed on the post.
To understand what I'm talking about, take a look at the book of Job and his "friends". I find alot of things going on on these forums that remind me of Job's friends.
Now that's offensive.
_____________________________
*Eric G.*
Matthew 5:16
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
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RE: The easily offended - 7/28/2008 10:00:21 PM
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SonInMe1
Posts: 3377
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: my mom by God
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Debating is not for the thin skinned. If you do not want your beliefs challeneged, I would not post here.
_____________________________
You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
James 4:4
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RE: The easily offended - 7/29/2008 8:18:57 AM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1232
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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Bible Verse napkins? Someone thinks it is a good idea to wipe their mouth with the words of our Lord?
Now I'm offended by the mfg of that product.
And, I'm doubly upset to see the word snickers because alas, I must abstain from those...
We talked about this yesterday. I drum my fingers. I'm not bored, I'm not frustrated or impatient. In fact I don't know I'm doing it. And it drives certain people nuts. How can I stop doing it for ONE person if I don't know I'm doing it? I suppose I could subsitute a different behavior (whistling, change jingling) but what if that bothers someone? So, the question in our discussion was "Is it better to tell the person it bothers you or better to let it go?"
I vote for letting it go and saving our righteous indignation for something more important.
Like napkins.
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RE: The easily offended - 7/29/2008 8:54:41 AM
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KatMack
Posts: 1055
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Along the Canopy Roads
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I'm offended by people that thing worship is a time to catch up with their friends. This Sunday I was next to two ladies who spent most of the worship service chatting and giggling... and they were not young ladies either! I kept wishing the floor would open up like the egg chutes in Willy Wonka! I had to pray the whole time to keep from becoming distracted and angry.
--Kat
_____________________________
<-- My sweet blessings.
"God will do what God will do. What I'm responsible for is to believe he's all he says he is and obey what he tells me to do. " -magdaleine
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RE: The easily offended - 7/29/2008 8:59:31 AM
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armydude
Posts: 16933
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: NC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KatMack
I'm offended by people that thing worship is a time to catch up with their friends. This Sunday I was next to two ladies who spent most of the worship service chatting and giggling... and they were not young ladies either! I kept wishing the floor would open up like the egg chutes in Willy Wonka! I had to pray the whole time to keep from becoming distracted and angry.
--Kat
I can very easily understand this. I've gotten up and moved to another part of the church to get away from that. Would you believe that I actually caught flack for that? It went something like this. "I have the right to talk to whoever I want." I said, "Maybe you should focus less on your rights and more on what's right." That was the last time I went to that church.
_____________________________
No act of kindness is too small when measured by nail-pierced hands.
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RE: The easily offended - 7/29/2008 5:52:34 PM
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momma_bee
Posts: 1232
Joined: 4/12/2005
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Well, you asked me to stop drumming my fingers
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.One major thing I've learned,it seems everyone has a different understanding of the Scripture's.Sometimes I love these threads,sometimes I feel I'll never get on them again because of the nasty way some talk to some of the posters.And I don't mean just me.There's only been a few that has been nasty with me.
