Login  | |
|
RE: The easily offended - 7/7/2008 1:08:11 PM
|
|
|
GroupW
Posts: 2909
Joined: 11/16/2007
From: Up in the hills of Colorado (very BIG hills...)
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: phosadaud
quote:
ORIGINAL: armydude
Modesty is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.
I was thinking how folks who are easily offended are are usually folks who tend to think in terms of "me, myself & I". Then I got to thinking about when I have walked on eggshells and it's usually about me, myself & I as well. When I try to speak and behave in love and kindness, I am thinking of others. When I am walking on eggshells because of someone who gets upset no matter what I say or do, I am thinking of me: I'm not walking on eggshells to avoid hurting them - they'll be hurt no matter what and there really is nothing I can do about it. Honestly, I'm walking on eggshells to avoid having to deal with a blowup. It's becomes about "me".
That sums it up fairly neatly for me. The times I am most easily and unnecessarily offended are the times that I fail to step out of my own shoes and into someone else's. I do best when I can separate my own thoughts and feelings and look at a question from another person's point of view.
It also helps when i have to deliver bad or critical news - I can say things in a way that the other person is most likely to hear - or at a minimum least likely to reject.
Sometimes I really have to whose voice I'm hearing when I'm feeling grouchy or hurt - my baggage, or my brain.
_____________________________
“For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, elegant and wrong.” -H.L. Mencken
"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." -Bertrand Russell
|
|
|
|
RE: The easily offended - 7/8/2008 7:49:14 PM
|
|
|
fantom
Posts: 56
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: the emerald city
Status: offline
|
hadn't seen this topic until today.
I had (emphasis on past tense) a friend and coworker that would be offended by things randomly and there was no predicting or avoiding.
The person and I were both involved in a non-profit group that had an event. I (as board chair) sent out an email the next week saying thanks to Sue for this, Jim for that, Mary for blah, blah and Lucy for her "dedication above and beyond to the cause".
The other person didn't speak to me for several day and we worked in the same dept. Finally I rec'd a very TERSE email saying "I worked very hard and you didn't acknowledge". I reread my email several times, explained I had on and on....
For Me "dedication to the cause" was a very strong compliment. I only consider that in terms of relation to very important things in my life (ie. my church, my family, my nonprofit volunteering). To that person dedication was a word used when you couldn't think of anything good to say and had to say something. Whatever!!! I could NEVER have stopped the other from being offended by my COMPLIMENT!
Over several years, this was a repeated theme. It got to the point I didn't want to speak to the person. Oddly that person was not even remotely careful about saying things that were offending. IE. Person A met my mom in law when MIL brought my daughter to my office to go to lunch. Later that day I said something about my MIL being great and something about her being young to have almost adult grandchildren. Something like she's only 60... the other person said..." She looked much older" WHAT the heck????? Yeah that shouldn't offend anyone.
Anyway, fortunately I no longer work with the person and the person also is no longer involved in the Nonprofit so I don't see or hear about it.
My friend John says that many people "have the ministry of being offended" and are REALLY good at it!
_____________________________
Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do NOT do that thing"
Dwight Shrute
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The easily offended - 7/9/2008 1:38:47 PM
|
|
|
bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline
|
we can't control people feeling offended by non offensive things we may say or do.
We can, however, not allow them to control us with their guilt trips and pressure.
I stopped playing the game a few years ago. The peace is refreshing.
_____________________________
I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: The easily offended - 7/9/2008 3:04:35 PM
|
|
|
bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline
|
No one has offered me cake or a chain.
Actually I want pie, and am offended no one has baked me one.
_____________________________
I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
Goodness....my lack of baking skills has offended bluestone.
