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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/17/2008 9:27:14 AM
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wareaglekd
Posts: 575
Joined: 8/9/2006
From: War Eagle Country
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I'm going to say something that's going to have moms realing at me, but I'm a mom of 22 years & know what I see & believe it is true. I witness it in my own sister's home & have seen it on many occasions in church & elsewhere. This is about the problem that Sasha had w/ toddler Luke. I knew at the beginning there was something wrong when the mom said he hardly ever cries. It seemed from the moment she left until her return that was all he did, except for the time he was playing w/ Morgan. What I see here is a case of mom working at home & this child probably never has had a babysitter. How in the world did she think Luke would behave for 3 days w/ complete strangers when he had never had the exposure before? And her comments were just a complete joke! The woman had no clue! Sasha clearly had a situation she could not handle because he had never been around children of that type before. Her mother keeping foster children had children that had already been away from their actual parents for a time. When you have a child that never is away from their parents, you put them in a situation where they are, what else are they going to do but cry. I felt bad for Sasha & it was ashame that this situation took place, especially w/o an explanation from the mother. I think Luke & his mother were a bad choice for this show. I've seen it over & over again trying to take children to the nursery that never are separated from their moms. They refuse to stop crying. My sister is a stay home mom & it takes her girls weeks to be able to adapt to a preschool environment. Not saying it can't happen, but I know the workers were pulling their hair out until it was possible to get them to stop crying. I know many think early preschool is too institutional, but my son was in daycare from the time he was 5-weeks old (had no choice, I had to work). He never had a problem w/ separation except during the usual time at 11-months when most babies go through a spell of separation anxiety.
I also thought the situation last night w/ the two girls (Hannah & Abbey) is quite typical. My nieces beat each other up at a drop of a hat, but they are friends by bed time & a lot of times lay in bed together reading & fall asleep in the same bed. You just deal w/ it the best you can. Although, my sister has threatened her oldest one many times w/ sterilization saying that girl would kill her children! She's 13 now & decided she agrees, plus having a 2 year old in the house is the best birth control for the older girls! kd
_____________________________
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/17/2008 10:31:30 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 5964
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kd- I saw that happen a lot at church too.
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/17/2008 4:50:16 PM
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maverickmom
Posts: 23
Joined: 7/17/2008
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I am trying to temper what I have to say about Sasha with at least a modicum of tact.
Little Luke was a precious little guy. Obviously he is raised by a mother who provides him with a lot of nurturing and positive attention, of which Sasha lacks the ability to comprehend at this time.
Jordan did an excellent job nurturing, playing and relating to the little boy. It is clear he is a sweet and caring young man, and he would make a great parent now or in the future, however I question his choice in relationship partners. Clearly this fine young man could do better, and appears to be in for a future of trouble and heartache with his current girlfriend.
It is my opinion that Sasha emotionally abused Luke, and I have serious concerns about her being around small children who are totally defenseless and unable to tell someone that some monster like Sasha is making them unhappy or upset. Sasha lacks the ability to understand that at the child’s age, he is not mature enough to relate to her crude and idiotic dialogue, especially the restaurant incident and that if this young woman had the instinct of little more than a rock, she should have taken the child gently into a hug, comforted him, and done this at other times when he cried. When they cry at night, before bed, Sasha, have you given any thought to rocking them? Reading to them? Reassuring them? Of course not. Or at least you kept referring to your inability to relate to the child. I am also concerned that the mother did not intervene at Sasha’s ridiculous assertions of not being able to handle a child “acting” out at a restaurant. That is also obvious. I would have personally intervened when she left that poor little boy crying in his room after no positive interaction at all, and I would have advised her to her face that she has no business now, or at any time in the near or somewhat distant future, in having anything to do with children other than herself.
Sasha appears to have some sort of barrier that prevents her from understanding that the useless and non age appropriate means she used to relate to this precious little boy was not working, but she continued to blame him for his attempts to communicate his pain, fear, overstimulation or frustration, and it prompts me to believe she would be an unsafe parent at this time, as a matter of fact, at any time unless she receives psychotherapy, anger management and parenting classes.
Sasha’s tirade at the mother, who deserves an apology, was inappropriate and further illustrates how this unfortunate young woman is less than ready to relate to children, or others, at this point. I hope her course of study at whatever college she attends in Texas does not pertain to anything involving children or anything else that involves healthcare or direct service to children or other vulnerable people, plants, or animals.
Sasha, what of this statement you have cared for children in foster care? Does the Texas Department of Family Services have any better sense than that? I shudder to think at what manner of communication you would use with foster children, but your behavior as I have directly observed thus far on this television show discredits you, your boyfriend, whomever conceived you, anyone who may be brave enough to admit they attempted to raise you, and quite probably, the state of Texas.
I advise as follows:
Sasha return to Texas immediately and avoid any further exposure to children until she completes parenting, sensitivity training, anger management and a full psychological evaluation, and that she engage in abstinence until these recommendations have effectively been completed, and if she does get pregnant before successful intervention and services can be arranged, she should strongly consider relative placement with supervised visitation only, or foster care, or adoption of the child, and that everyone pray for this angry young woman.
Texas DFS refrain from using Sasha as any kind of child services worker, aid, volunteer or otherwise. Texas DFS would be well advised to restrict Sasha's access to children after the way she behaved with baby Luke and his Mother. Especially after her censored but obvious smut mouthed tirade, at full blast, and I hope Luke was not in the home to hear what they tried to censor while Sasha went off like a spoiled little drama queen on a rocket, screaming…on a primetime show…on national television.
Also Sasha, interaction with pets, and other vulnerable groups of people is not advisable. As a pet owner and viewer I was offended by the comment when Sasha chided the dog she was walking at her arranged for TV job, for the dog's need to continue urinating, and the whole world cannot be expected to control basic bodily functions for Sasha's childish, perverse and rather idiosyncratic, me-centered behavior.
Sasha should also submit a formal letter of apology to Luke’s mother, and also apologize to little Luke, however it would ensure the little boy’s safety if she apologized to him through her letter to the mother. Have her not send the child a toy, it would probably contain dangerous removable parts or something toxic, because this unfortunate young woman clearly has no idea regarding children, and her frightening example leads me to believe that merely allowing the parents to be able to access everything going on by closed circuit TV is not enough assurance that these children will not be harmed or traumatized by young people who should not be around children.
After taking a deep breath and calming myelf somewhat, I am concerned regarding teen "parent" candidates, such as Sasha. I applaud NBC for addressing the challenge of addressing the problem of teen pregnancy but feel that cautin must be used in this subject matter because small children can be damaged with emotional abuse whether or not there are surveillance cameras, and whether or not there is a nanny to jump in.
I cannot even begin to express my sorrow and dismay that precious little Luke had to be exposed to this immature, angry young woman. Furthermore, she s a shining example of the what not to do's pf being a parent.
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/17/2008 5:06:38 PM
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maverickmom
Posts: 23
Joined: 7/17/2008
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although I am inclined to agree with you to some extent, Sasha's swearing at the mother was completely uncalled for. The boyfriend was able to interact with the child, and to me, imho, it seemed that the child only cried when Sasha was providing direct care. Personally, I would have intervned sooner, matter of fact I would have approached Sasha and taken Luke home as they were leavingg the restaurant.
I have over ten years experience as a child abuse caseworker, and Sasha's expectations were extremely inappropriate. She did not interact in a maternal way, and she did not appear to acknowledge that Luke was a child under the age of two, and her comments about children misbehaving in restaurants struck me as condescending, naiive, and stupid.
All in all, I believe the other parent candidates are benefitting fom te exercise thus far, and even Sasha's boyfriend is a great candidate but I feel after Sasha's on air outburst indicates she is an immature, perhaps even histrionic individual who is not appropriate for this exercise at this time, because her emotional volatility and lack of self control (cussing ad swearing and storming out of the room) is a bad example to anyone in her care, and I worry that she could easily become stressed out with more challenging age related behaviors and something even more unfortunate could happen.
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/17/2008 5:09:09 PM
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wareaglekd
Posts: 575
Joined: 8/9/2006
From: War Eagle Country
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As w/ most reality TV shows, they will pick the ones that will demonstrate the most drama.
I did notice that there was concern from Jordan's friend, Stephon, about his relationship w/ Sasha. I question their future together too. But, I question all of the relationships on there.
Needless to say, I have an issue w/ the parents of these kids who would allow them to take part in an exercise where they are sleeping w/ their signficant others on television. Regardless of the lessons learned in the series, there are a lot of negatives. kd
_____________________________
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/17/2008 5:20:05 PM
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maverickmom
Posts: 23
Joined: 7/17/2008
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Amen! It seems a little counter productive, I mean I read the reference material on the show, supposedly its a big project to prevent teen pregnancy, but mixxed messages were being sent...
Of course, they live in a special neighborhood in million dollar houses, and work at minimum wage jobs, and drive cars they probably can't afford, so the real stressors arent even factored, like utility bills and shut off notices, and, like most of the reality shows, are just unreal. I would be thrilled silly to see another show like growing pains, but with Kirk Cameron as the Dad on this one.
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/17/2008 5:25:54 PM
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maverickmom
Posts: 23
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do NOT get me started on Sasha, if this were a true reality show NBC should find a way to get this spoiled littloe ignorant drama queen brat VOTED OFF the show before she causes permanent emotional scarring to these children!
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/18/2008 9:45:39 AM
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wareaglekd
Posts: 575
Joined: 8/9/2006
From: War Eagle Country
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As with most summer shows, some have the potential of sticking around, but most don't. I can't see this being renewed.
Also, I think the jobs they are being sent out to are not reality. They look like pushover jobs of a teenager, not the kind of jobs you do if you really wound up pregnant out of wedlock. They need to be going to Walmart Distribution Center & places like that, not fuzzy wuzzy pet stores! kd
_____________________________
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/19/2008 2:36:57 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1516
Joined: 5/27/2006
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quote:
& this child probably never has had a babysitter.
Okay, I missed this part. Sorry.
Most SAHMs and WAHMs employ babysitters and other childcare (church nursery, gym nursery, etc.) at least often enough that the children have experience that mommy always comes back and it is safe to be apart from her.
I thought the idea was that without full-time daycare, kids would develop anxiety disorder.
quote:
My sister is a stay home mom & it takes her girls weeks to be able to adapt to a preschool environment. Not saying it can't happen, but I know the workers were pulling their hair out until it was possible to get them to stop crying. I know many think early preschool is too institutional, but my son was in daycare from the time he was 5-weeks old (had no choice, I had to work). He never had a problem w/ separation except during the usual time at 11-months when most babies go through a spell of separation anxiety.
That's how I read it at first, but I guess it's really about some SAHMs, the poster's sister to be exact.
mea culpa 
_____________________________
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost..." -J. R. R. Tolkien
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/20/2008 7:50:25 PM
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stonek
Posts: 109
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I watched a couple shows and thought the guys were doing better than the girls. I notice one dark hair girl never wants to get up for anything.
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/21/2008 9:39:57 AM
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wareaglekd
Posts: 575
Joined: 8/9/2006
From: War Eagle Country
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No, I would never assume that 100% of SAHM moms have this problem. It's just from my experience, it's been a majority. I think in my sister's case, she's just been plain lost over the last 14 years & just didn't really have a clue. She was in preschool early (in fact, my brother started at age 4 & I never went & just went on into kindergarten) & never developed instinctive maternal skills because my mom was all about her job, her education, & her awful marriage from the time my sister could talk. So, she just allowed her girls to be super clingy because she got very little effection from our mom. So, in most cases, there has to be an underlying reason for why kids don't do well in a childcare setting. It just apepared to me in the case of Luke, the mother really did not have good answers for what happened & the best thing she could do was take her child & leave.
No, I don't think either this show is going to help in preventing pregnancy at all. My question is, why does America think because a show may do well in England, it's going to do well here? I think I have a subject for a new thread! kd
_____________________________
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/21/2008 11:52:10 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 2527
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
Children crying in church nurseries/preschools is not the topic of this thread, but I gotta tell ya- I was a SAHM and my two never had any trouble at either place. The first time we left our first baby in the church nursery she was crying big-time....until about three seconds after the door shut.
My husband and I stood in the hallway to see if we would need to return and comfort her, and were high-fiving each other at the beautiful silence that followed her initial disapproval with our leaving her.
Maybe it is the quality of the child care? child's personality?
I think it's the child's personality and how often the SAHM gets the child interacting with other adults and kids.
My son will scream his head off for a long time if we were to leave him in church nursery. He gets seriously hysterical. He's only comfortable with Nana or his aunt & uncle, who he sees frequently. He's even scared of his Florida grandparents whom he sees less often. He cannot be left alone with my dH's parents or he will go into serious panic mode
So I've been making a serious effort to get him together with other kids and adults, and I have been seeing improvements. But it's very clear that I have been failing at properly socializing him.
And I think they are picking the kids and the "care takers" to produce maximum drama.
_____________________________
Don't ascribe to malice what could simply be incompetence.
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/22/2008 11:38:28 AM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11263
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: Between Hither and Yon
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quote:
But it's very clear that I have been failing at properly socializing him.
Honestly Ruth, from the perspective of a mom of five totally different kids, it really has more to do with the child's personality then with their social interaction. My talkative one will interact with anyone, no matter how much social interaction she hasn't had....and my shy one won't no matter how much she has had or how used to you she is. Some kids are just like that no matter what kind of social interactions you have them in on a regular basis.
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/24/2008 9:24:18 AM
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wareaglekd
Posts: 575
Joined: 8/9/2006
From: War Eagle Country
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Don't you think it was quite coincidental that the breakups or almost breakups happened w/ the teens in the house? Fighting going on right in front of the teens, same thing they see at home. That way, they were really able to show just exactly how it effects the teens. Seemed much more centered around that, so when the guys were pulling their pranks, it looked more funny than it looking like a bad thing, way too staged. It just seemed to me the teens were more like actors & not the real thing. Just didn't get enough of what they were going for w/ Snowy & the soccer girl. Ran out of time, I suppose focusing on the breakups.
It just seemed kind of fake to me because I didn't see it coming w/ Morgan & Daton yet. Maybe Kelly & Austin, first or one of the others. It was just too fast & Daton was gone. Just didn't make sense because he did okay w/ the kids. Who knows! I'm glad Morgan pulled it up, but seemed stupid to say I'm being a single mom & going to work when the kid is leaving that day & he's at the house cleaning it from top to bottom! Just not realistic! k
_____________________________
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/28/2008 9:06:06 AM
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wareaglekd
Posts: 575
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From: War Eagle Country
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Yeah, Kelly didn't even think she needed to apologize to the teenager. But, then how many times in broken homes did parents think about apologizing to the kids when they were fighting? kd
_____________________________
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/28/2008 11:01:57 AM
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Cantwait-2-C-Him
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Joined: 7/25/2008
From: Sun Shine State" " Mickey"s Home"
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I think everybody watching can learn a few things Children need to be with children at early age Be it at church or preschool /playgroup, If not we see some of the problems later in school or life .(Why do I need others,)> Well The show has bee eye opener for some It is in unreal setting due to you know they not going to be kicked out if they don't pay rent.poweroff ,no food ,come on that is in the real work you get up go to work!! pay bill deal with life. Maybe it will have a few think befroe that have a child. But again many parents make it easy for the teen to have and keep a baby . our school system made it easy for them. daycare, pay for them to go to school etc. Is that life ? When out daughter want to have baby in high school we gave here the Facts and then she deside life was to much fun and she wanted more thant some of the girls she saw beside a baby to play with, It will be good to see how each react with the older set of children and then sr adults. Which is what life is about. I do think it was un fair to place a children that had never been woth out MOM in this show again I think it unfair for a child to be that closed up with only parents at 2 they are social and meet other people. It the parents job to help them meet and learn to enjoy other not keep them closed up at home under "this is best excuse" But again thie is just my .2 cents!
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" As for Me and My house we will serve the Lord"
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/31/2008 9:07:42 AM
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Go24
Posts: 287
Joined: 4/12/2005
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So I watched last night's finale ... thought it was really touching how some of the teens were bonding with the elderly, receiving wisdom and advice from them, etc. etc. ...
... and then the show ends and we get the "updates". Ahhhhhhhhahahaha!!!! It was like a ridiculous punchline!
Ya know, I love reality t.v. ... but sometimes it's better just to script things.
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Would my care increase if I truly believed that a life could be saved? - Kutless
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RE: Baby borrowers - 7/31/2008 9:30:02 AM
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wareaglekd
Posts: 575
Joined: 8/9/2006
From: War Eagle Country
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Can't wait to see what the questions will be at the town hall meeting. You know there will be some folks pouncing all over these teens! kd
_____________________________
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
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