Whose watching your children? (Full Version)

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truthrevealed -> Whose watching your children? (6/18/2008 3:10:26 PM)

Don't know if you're familiar with a recent case where a boyfriend put a toddler in the dryer because he wet himself. I'm greatly disturbed that in this day and age parents allow certain "peoples" to watch their children. Caution must be taken even with relatives and "trusted" neighbors(never done that myself). In addition to that what about leaving younger children with older siblings. Siblings can be cruel when parents are away. What's age appropriate to you when it comes to the older watching the younger and who do you trust to watch your children?



WesP -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/18/2008 4:33:16 PM)

The only people who watch my children are family members and a couple of grown friends who have children of their own. BTW, the friends I have known for years and watched them with their own families. My oldest child is almost 10, but it will be several more years before I will let him watch the others for me. [;)]



kohls356 -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/18/2008 6:05:11 PM)

I don't need a babysitter anymore but we had family, close friends and when my oldest was old enough we would leave them with her for a few hours.



Mrs.X -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/18/2008 6:26:55 PM)

Truthrevealed, that is so sad about the boy in the dryer.

No one watches my 1 year old but me. If I weren't nursing, I'd totally let my mom. She has a long length of patience for children, and she is cautious and attentive.

I trust my husband, close friend and neighbor to keep my 2.5 year old for short periods and only my mom for overnights and long periods.

My kids are only 20 months apart, but my guess is that when my oldest is around 12 that I'd be comfortable going grocery shopping alone or leaving the kids to go out to dinner. Depending on his maturity level and how well he gets along with his little bro.

I watched a shaken baby dedication video on myspace, and it was never the mother who shook the baby for the babies shown in the video.



March7 -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/18/2008 7:58:02 PM)

My kids are both teens now and lots bigger than I am[:D]...BUT when they were little I was very cautious about who watched them. It had to be someone I knew and trusted...and had known and trusted for a good season of time.

When my kids got to the age of caring for themselves, I actually made them take a Red Cross certified babysitting course, which is offered for kids 11 and older. After they passed this one-day course, I then would little by little leave them alone longer each time while I went a little further away each trip over a period of two-three months till I trusted their responsibility. At first, it was for no more than a half-hour when I was less than 5-10 minutes away (just up the street at the pharmacy, for example). And, I'd have my cell phone. And, I'd leave them lots of rules posted on the fridge (no cooking, no answering the door, no saying on phone that parents are gone, okay this, okay that, no this but okay that, and so forth).



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 6:47:32 AM)

Me or dh. [:D]
We are very, very, very picky about who watches our children.

I seem to remember some stats about children being more likely to be abused when a mom is running through boyfriends and shack-up studs like there's no tomorrow. [:(] I didn't read that particular news story, but there are so many more like it, it just breaks my heart. What baffles me is women leaving thier babies with virtual strangers, male or female. I had a number of aquaintances when I was younger who did this--they'd leave a baby with a new boyfriend, and ex-boyfriend, the little sister of an ex-boyfriend, just about anyone. [&:]



thorkraki -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 6:51:11 AM)

This is terrible news! Our children when young were watched by a nanny when my wife and I were working. Now they have a governess who also tutors them in some subjects (history, art, and music theory). Both have been employees of my family for many decades and are like close family members themselves.



lexie -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 7:32:40 AM)

We always leave our daughter with one of our parents. There have been a few times where we have left her with our teenage nephews, but only after we have put her to bed.

I'm still not comfortable leaving her with anyone else (she is 1.5).



Karaboo2 -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 10:29:26 AM)

We are quite picky as well ... we have to be. Dd has bipolar and is prone to rages ... all the ds's have multiple allergies. So we NEED someone who has been adequately trained (even if just by us) in what to do if dd rages, and also what to do if any of the ds's have an allergic reaction.

Other than dh and myself, they have been left with dh's parents, and with some of my family and close friends (who all have dealt with allergies and know what to watch for and do with that ... and who work with special needs kids on a regular basis)



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 11:15:31 AM)

I didn't hear about the child placed in a dryer, but I have heard some horrible stories about the heinous treatment of children, as most have, some by the parents themselves.

I don't know -- when our daughter was born over 36 years ago, I seriously didn't even think of leaving her with anyone, until my first husband's parents, hurt by that, gently complained. Pat and I, for their sakes, ended up creating a circumstance for which we could ask them to take her once a week -- a practice we continued as faithfully as we could until after our son was also born. I trusted them.

But I would never -- ever -- leave our children, at any age, with my parents. I knew Mother too well and even packed up the family and left three days early one time when we had gone to visit, because of what she did to my daughter. My daughter was so innocent that she thought Mother was playing; I knew better.

I do, however, remember leaving them with one sitter twice, and the last time was the last time!

After my husband died, I never had any reason to leave them with anyone. We just did everything together. And regarding those few times when I was invited somewhere that was adults only, I refused the invitation. By that time, my relationship with the children was so tight that such invitations were simply unwanted. -- Also unmerited, because my children were extremely well-behaved.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 11:54:49 AM)

When I was married, the Things would go to my parents house or there was a girl in the youth that would baby sit them. I knew her family very well, and trusted her judgment. Of course Thing 2 did lock the two of them in his bedroom... [8D]

After the divorce I didn't so much as let people baby sit them, but they would go to sleepovers, and stuff like that with their friends. We went to a great church and the Things went to a Christian school where most people went to our church so I was fine with them going over there.

I am MUCH pickier (is that a word?) now even though they're older. They are both testing boundries and I can see the horrors if they were to do that with someone they haven't spent an obscene about of time with. The only people that have 'babysat' outside my parents are my two best friends. I trust my guy friend to keep them in line and my girl friend always has her undisciplined kids with her so my boys actually end up helping her and are too distracted to cause mischief. [8D]



PatricksPeaches -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 1:04:57 PM)

I do not let too many people watch my girls. Only grandparents and my one sister. I was leery of the church nursery until I got t know them better. I did have to send my oldest to a daycare at one point when she was younger. She came home with lice and I said I would never do that again. I am a stay at home mom now and love it!!![:D]



SteveSund -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 3:01:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Covaan_Meshuga

I didn't hear about the child placed in a dryer, but I have heard some horrible stories about the heinous treatment of children, as most have, some by the parents themselves.



Me too, though most of my experience is with parents who injure their children. FWIW, according to the DOJ, 60% of all children under the age of 5 that are murdered (from 1976-2005) are killed by one of their parents (31% father and 29% mother).



Roberta_ -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 4:27:01 PM)

By the time my youngest was born, I had learned that I needed to leave mine with a babysitter once a week or so in order for me to be a good mom.

Many times, I left them with teenage babysitters who had references. They were available and affordable.

I also used church nursery services. I was unsaved and seeking. What would've been the point of going to church to learn about Christ if I was too busy tending to my child?



truthrevealed -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 5:23:16 PM)

I hate to admit but 15 yrs. ago when my son was born who I left him with wasn't as much as a concern as it is for my youngest now. Thank goodness it was not neccesary to leave him with anyone other than his granny but my aunt and sometimes an uncle watched him on occasion. Today, I'm horrified that if the oportunity presented itself I might have left him with a "sitter" that I barely knew(I was young then, in college....and acting dumb)but it was never neccesary.
I have a cousin that was molested by her brother who was responsible for watching her and her sister. I myself was sexually molested by an uncle but in my case, I wasn't raised by mom and dad and I really believe that that dynamic(being raised by a single parent or neither parent being present at all)lends itself to things like that happening versus when both parents are in the home raising their children but regardless we live in a crazy world and we MUST keep DILIGENT WATCH over our children!



isaacsmom -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 5:25:19 PM)

I cannot BEAR to read stories like that. [:@][:@][:@][:(][:(][:(]. Sadly, there are way too many of these types of occurrences.

My husband and I are picky about who we leave our children with. We feel comfortable leaving them with any of our immediate family. I also trust my next door neighbor (who is also a Christian, mom of 4). And she trusts me with her children as well. There are a few couples in our church with whom we are completely comfortable leaving our children. One older couple recently kept our children overnight while hubby and I took the youth group on a retreat. We are truly blessed to be surrounded by so many godly, trustworthy people. But I will say that it is very rare that our children are with anyone besides DH and I. They stay overnight with someone else maybe once per year. They are cared for a few hours at a time by someone maybe once or twice per year. Just this morning my neighbor kept my 18 month old DD while I took three of her children to VBS with us.



dianetavegia -> RE: Who's watching your children? (6/19/2008 6:31:51 PM)

Our 13 year old never had a sitter. We used a church young adult (same gal for years) for our three older kids when they were 3, 4 and 8 but only after Sunday night service while we'd go for desserts with friends and after we'd put them to bed for the night. I've quite overprotective.



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Who's watching your children? (6/19/2008 6:37:51 PM)

Either our parents or trusted friends. I'm pretty picky, some of our own family aren't allowed to watch DD. We also put her in the nursery at church once or twice a month, the other times I just keep her with us.



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: Who's watching your children? (6/19/2008 7:20:22 PM)

I had placed my children, as pre-schoolers, in a school I investigated and trusted -- a Christian school in MPLS. Years later, my daughter told me that the teachers were pretty mean when I wasn't there volunteering, and that they used language I would not have used. I was stunned. I never would have imagined.

I also know someone personally who placed her children with a church girl they trusted. Many times. She abused them. They said nothing until they were well into adulthood.



creationtalk -> RE: Whose watching your children? (6/19/2008 8:45:28 PM)

I'm a single parent--since before my son was born. I have no family in the area so can't leave my son with family. Most of the time, while I work he is with friends I know well or (when younger) a daycare that I had carefully vetted. I know that there are no guarantees, but God gave me my son knowing my circumstances, so as long as I do the best I can for my son, I have to trust God to take care of the rest.



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