Hiddenness and Arrogance (Full Version)

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Doc65 -> Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 10:42:29 AM)

Perhaps it's just me, but why does it seems that many of the individuals who have hidden names, e-mails, etc., or even nothing in their profile completed are the ones who are the most virulent, vocal, demeaning and arrogant in their replies or posting? It seems that the majority of the vehement (and often ugly) posts are written by those who have only an avatar (maybe)...

Wasn't sure where to put this but it seems to fall under an "ethics"-type category...[8|]

My 2.5 cents-worth and an honest concern and question...



Ps103 -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 11:17:47 AM)

I hid my email--but only after getting some unsolicited, unwanted emails from folks who seem to have nothing better to do...[;)]



GrahamCracker -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 11:40:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Doc65

Perhaps it's just me, but why does it seems that many of the individuals who have hidden names, e-mails, etc., or even nothing in their profile completed are the ones who are the most virulent, vocal, demeaning and arrogant in their replies or posting? It seems that the majority of the vehement (and often ugly) posts are written by those who have only an avatar (maybe)...

Wasn't sure where to put this but it seems to fall under an "ethics"-type category...[8|]

My 2.5 cents-worth and an honest concern and question...


How about simple privacy? I allow some characteristics of my profile to be revealed but not all. People can email me anytime or send me PMs. But I haven't had a problem with harassment or unsolicited emails.

With regard to people being arrogant: how can you tell? You can't hear a person's tone of voice when in print nor can you see their facial expression. Sometimes facts are facts and sometimes we present merely our opinions. Since everyone has different experiences and levels of preparation for discussion, it's hard to tell why they are being so dogmatic about their views.



BerianAardvark -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 12:02:29 PM)

I have considered blocking my e-mail...but opted for a higher quality spam detection proggie. [;)]

I agree that those who are the most vitriolic and dogmatic tend hide their contact and personal information (probably because they know what can be done with that info, having done it themselves).

Even those who don't start off that way can fall into that "no one knows who I really am so I can act freely" syndrome. Many groups started out as legitimate attempts to right wrongs wore masks out of legitimate concerns of reprisal but it soon became a license for excess because if "no one knows who I am" there is no accountability.

The moderators here keep a pretty good handle on allowing freedom of expression without excess of sustained and bitter railing and condemnation, for which I am appreciative.


Tim



doinkdom -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 12:12:44 PM)

hey doc65,

I think I know what you mean.

There are these drive-by postings that are more like spiritual hand grenades dropped right in the middle of a thread or sometimes are even the beginning of one. They are more like rants than real postings.

And if you click on the name to find out something more about the poster before you smack 'em with your own post, since ya know...you could be wrong about them.[;)]

There's nothing.....nada....not even a crumb of info as to where this person is actually coming from.

And yet...their posts exhibit a tone of being more than full of themselves.

So yeah...I get it.

But...whatcha gonna do?

Everyone should still be welcomed here.



crankius -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 12:15:54 PM)

quote:

Perhaps it's just me, but why does it seems that many of the individuals who have hidden names, e-mails, etc., or even nothing in their profile completed are the ones who are the most virulent, vocal, demeaning and arrogant in their replies or posting? It seems that the majority of the vehement (and often ugly) posts are written by those who have only an avatar (maybe)...



I'm not sure it always works this way. There are plenty of posters with a full profile who are vocal and sometimes vehement.


I don't list my info in my profile because my husband prefers for me to keep my info private. People may have lots of reasons for keeping their information private.



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 12:19:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: doinkdom

hey doc65,

I think I know what you mean.

There are these drive-by postings that are more like spiritual hand grenades dropped right in the middle of a thread or sometimes are even the beginning of one. They are more like rants than real postings.

And if you click on the name to find out something more about the poster before you smack 'em with your own post, since ya know...you could be wrong about them.[;)]

There's nothing.....nada....not even a crumb of info as to where this person is actually coming from.

And yet...their posts exhibit a tone of being more than full of themselves.

So yeah...I get it.

But...whatcha gonna do?

Everyone should still be welcomed here.

Yep, I've seen this, too. My take on it is that if there's no info to get a clue as to how they communicate or what angle they're coming from or whatever, then they aren't interested in being an actual part of this community and any words I'd post in response would be wasted on them. I might post for others reading but won't waste my time on a poster like you've described.



doinkdom -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 12:25:10 PM)

Community R Us

I like that



GrahamCracker -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 12:51:49 PM)

quote:

Yep, I've seen this, too. My take on it is that if there's no info to get a clue as to how they communicate or what angle they're coming from or whatever, then they aren't interested in being an actual part of this community and any words I'd post in response would be wasted on them. I might post for others reading but won't waste my time on a poster like you've described.


There has been a tendency for the last few decades to avoid allowing oneself to be labeled. People cannot label you if they don't have enough information to put you into a category.



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 12:56:03 PM)

But see? You get labeled anyway.[;)]



elastic -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 1:07:50 PM)

well, my information is hidden because i'm a famous person, and i don't want to be bothered with people requesting autographs all the time. [sm=nosestuckup.gif][sm=nosestuckup.gif][sm=nosestuckup.gif]



juuuuuuussssssssssstttt kidding.

i don't think i have anything in my profile that says who i am..(mostly because i'm a woman and i don't need strange people sending me emails) BUT my pm isn't blocked like some folks' pm function is, so if people disagree or need to speak to me in private, the option is there. i don't know why some people block themselves from getting pm's. i mean, if anything against TOS happens, you can report it.



Ps103 -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 1:09:05 PM)

I just checked, and my label says "Inspected by #43."



GrahamCracker -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 1:18:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

But see? You get labeled anyway.[;)]


I bought into the "don't label me" and "don't stereotype me" gig a few years ago. I finally decided that it was my defensiveness that caused me to do that. I needed to be open enough to discuss what I thought without erecting barriers. That is a difficult thing to do.

If you think about it, it makes sense. We often construct artificial defense barriers to protect ourselves from pain. But it insulates us from relationships that we need.



bluestone -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 1:22:56 PM)

Some people may be paranoid about the internet, and listing anything personal at all.

Some have been judged by their occupation, marital status, etc. and don't want judging.

some just don't bother with setting it up.



Cloak -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 1:30:50 PM)

I believe it is low self-esteem, insecurity etc and the world is FULL of folks like that. Almost every where I go (life or web or otherwise); I see this type of people and to be VERY honest; these are the VERY people I do my best to stay away from.

Many of us have our own problems, yet despite this we are all reaching out in unconditional love giving out generously something many of us have not received; so to be treated with anything less than royalty is really downright sinful, mean, and ugly. [:'(]



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 2:16:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GrahamCracker

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

But see? You get labeled anyway.[;)]


I bought into the "don't label me" and "don't stereotype me" gig a few years ago. I finally decided that it was my defensiveness that caused me to do that. I needed to be open enough to discuss what I thought without erecting barriers. That is a difficult thing to do.

If you think about it, it makes sense. We often construct artificial defense barriers to protect ourselves from pain. But it insulates us from relationships that we need.

I agree with that.

I don't have my name or email or where I'm from in my profile because I have kids to protect from potentially bad people. But I've put enough information in it that people can look and instantly see that I'm mostly a harmless goofball. And I'd MUCH rather be considered a goofball than an arrogant drive-by. I know people will label so I like picking the label myself.[;)]

I guess in reading the OP I was thinking of those who have their profile hidden or zero stuff filled in. I like to get a sense of who people are before I respond to them because it helps me to better 'speak their language' and I have a better chance of being understood rather than misunderstood. People who just want to post vitriol don't really give a hoot who they're talking to and don't seem to want others knowing them.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 2:16:32 PM)

I'm an open book. [sm=biggrin.gif]

I probably have too much info on there but meh...it's all good. People find out eventually as it is. [;)]



JimboFletch -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 2:19:18 PM)

After having been stalked and harrassed by someone that didn't like my theology, I chose to keep my information private.



crankius -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 2:19:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ps103

I just checked, and my label says "Inspected by #43."


[sm=Llol.gif]



bluestone -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 2:30:44 PM)

I was getting unsolicited email sermons from "AL Finch". After requesting EIGHT times that he remove my name from his list, I finally threatened to contact His Internet service provider, as well as the administration here, and let them know he was spamming.

the emails stopped at that poin.[;)]



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 2:34:10 PM)

I was just thinkin'......

The OP isn't saying "everyone who has their information hidden is arrogant". He's saying "most people who post arrogantly seem to have all their information hidden".

A fine but important distinction for those who aren't arrogant and chose not to disclose much or any info.[&:]


Now for those of you who are arrogant.....I can't help ya.[8D]



Jhud -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 2:35:14 PM)

quote:

After having been stalked and harrassed by someone that didn't like my theology, I chose to keep my information private.


I am public about my info to a slighty risky point.

However, it helps that I am clear that my politics include a strong belief in the second amendment, and defense of house and home is not an abridgement of my theology.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 2:48:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bluestone

I was getting unsolicited email sermons from "AL Finch". After requesting EIGHT times that he remove my name from his list, I finally threatened to contact His Internet service provider, as well as the administration here, and let them know he was spamming.

the emails stopped at that poin.[;)]

Is that what those emails are???? I thought I had signed up for something and completely forgot about it!!! [:D][:D][:D]



crankius -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 2:52:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
Now for those of you who are arrogant.....I can't help ya.[8D]


Thanks.[sm=aside.gif]


[;)]



bluestone -> RE: Hiddenness and Arrogance (6/12/2008 2:55:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

quote:

ORIGINAL: bluestone

I was getting unsolicited email sermons from "AL Finch". After requesting EIGHT times that he remove my name from his list, I finally threatened to contact His Internet service provider, as well as the administration here, and let them know he was spamming.

the emails stopped at that poin.[;)]



Is that what those emails are???? I thought I had signed up for something and completely forgot about it!!! [:D][:D][:D]



yep. and there were in black and white. If you can't make your spam pretty, don't bother![:D] I suppose the person thought I needed them.



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