Meddling Family and Relatives (Full Version)

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gaylel1 -> Meddling Family and Relatives (6/10/2008 8:55:44 PM)

Ok, I just got my place this week, moving and all, and the manager was gracious to grant me this place because of my bad credit history and all. I was trying to provide people with a place to stay and everything, but the rest of the family was so critical because things being wrong with it and some was so impatient because of lights, gas, etc.. They want to tell me how to run my life (because I'm the youngest and they feel that even though I'm turning 50, they cannot still for the life of me trust my judgement.

These people want to be ever so protective to my mother because they want her to run my life and what I am doing. These people do not really care at all, because they rather want you to be in the streets. That was the purpose of getting the place right quick because of that purpose.

I did this because I did not want her or the others outhere, but they seem like they are not appreciative now in what I'm doing was right~ and that the older ones claimed that they will take care of her, but they give lip service when they say that. They don't care about her at all because in other words, they will not do it and that they feel that the younger one should take care of her and not have life as well.

And because the place is in my name, they still want to be controlling and I'm getting tired of them meddling in my life.

If I had my way, I would move out from all of them and wishing they leave me alone.

What would you do? Would you keep your distance from your family members and tell them to butt out? and how would you lovinly tell them, because at this point, I'm tired of them and that I feel like removing some people off the lease and starting fresh by myself.




deermousie -> RE: Meddling Family and Relatives (6/10/2008 11:28:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gaylel1

Ok, I just got my place this week, moving and all, and the manager was gracious to grant me this place because of my bad credit history and all. I was trying to provide people with a place to stay and everything, but the rest of the family was so critical because things being wrong with it and some was so impatient because of lights, gas, etc.. They want to tell me how to run my life (because I'm the youngest and they feel that even though I'm turning 50, they cannot still for the life of me trust my judgement.

These people want to be ever so protective to my mother because they want her to run my life and what I am doing. These people do not really care at all, because they rather want you to be in the streets. That was the purpose of getting the place right quick because of that purpose.

I did this because I did not want her or the others outhere, but they seem like they are not appreciative now in what I'm doing was right~ and that the older ones claimed that they will take care of her, but they give lip service when they say that. They don't care about her at all because in other words, they will not do it and that they feel that the younger one should take care of her and not have life as well.

And because the place is in my name, they still want to be controlling and I'm getting tired of them meddling in my life.

If I had my way, I would move out from all of them and wishing they leave me alone.

What would you do? Would you keep your distance from your family members and tell them to butt out? and how would you lovinly tell them, because at this point, I'm tired of them and that I feel like removing some people off the lease and starting fresh by myself.




I'm sorry, Gayle, I am having trouble following what you are saying. Did you lease a place and all your family is living there, too? Are they paying rent? Does your mother live there? What do your relatives expect you to do?



jaimestarcross -> RE: Meddling Family and Relatives (6/11/2008 12:46:12 AM)

It's best to have the least amount of people living with you... for years it was me and my mom. I didn't mind working hard to provide for us both... I just couldn't take my families lip-service either!

How to tell, after they've eaten break the news to them gently.



allisonbrett -> RE: Meddling Family and Relatives (6/11/2008 12:17:13 PM)

I'm sorry, Gayle. I too, am having a tough time trying to figure out the situation. However, I do understand being the youngest though and that everyone else seems to think that you are clueless on how to live your life and make your own decisions. I guess my response to that would be to ask your meddling family members (in a loving way) to acknowledge that you are an adult and though you may have made mistakes in the past (who hasn't!) that they need to respect you enough to allow you to live your own life. Point out that you have a parent you can rely on: your Heavenly Father. The best way to be a close and loving family is to love and support, encourage and pray for each other and that you'd appreciate that. Remind that you will always remember that they will be there for advice and suggestions and that you are grateful for that but if you need it, you will ask.

This is what comes to mind. Maybe it'd work for you.

Blessings![:)]



deedeeowens -> RE: Meddling Family and Relatives (6/11/2008 12:22:04 PM)

I am having a little trouble following your story. Sometimes it's hard when your putting things in writing to remember that the reader doesn't have any inside information, and will not be able to fill in the blanks. I do want to encourage you to honor your mother and consider anything you can do for her a priveledge. God gives us our parents for a selected time period, and He gives us instructions regarding them from childhood on up. I sense a lot of frustration in your writing. I can't say that I blame you if everyone is making you feel critized for your efforts. It is only human to want to be appreciated and respected. Sometimes it helps me to look at the life of Christ when he was here on this earth. His example speaks volumns! Compassion, love, forgiveness, and grace were prevalent. Even during the painful death that was being inflicted on him, he was making arrangements for someone to take care of his mother. Ask God to guide you and give you the right spirit when you deal with these people. Do what you have to do, but do it in love. All you can do is try your best, and God will honor that if things are done with the right heart. I wish you the best.



3tulips -> RE: Meddling Family and Relatives (6/11/2008 2:34:19 PM)

Did you move your mom in with you and now your siblings are trying to tell you how to run your life because mom lives with you? Did I get that right?

A good way to tell people to butt out, I have found, is when they start in, cut them off in mid-sentence and say "I have to go now and I am not discussing this. Not now. Not ever. Did you have anything else you wanted to talk about?"



stellaluna -> RE: Meddling Family and Relatives (6/11/2008 6:39:54 PM)

With my family, I would simply say, "Butt out." Or "it's none of your business." I know a lot of families aren't like this, but maybe it's worth a shot? For shock value, if nothing else?



redeemedsaint -> RE: Meddling Family and Relatives (6/12/2008 2:42:00 PM)

I don't tell my family a lot of things because they do worry. When they do put their nose in my business, I know that they mean well, but I just keep quiet and say what needs to be said at the right time. They do at times need to clean their closet first before they clean mine.



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