What I have done.

What I have done. (Full Version)

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lightshineon -> What I have done. (6/3/2008 12:55:43 AM)
I am typing this late at night, with a very heavy spirit, just so depressed, that I wish I could just sleep ( not die) but just sleep and not wake up tommorow. I have such a low self worth, and have passed on to my three beautiful girls. I hate what I have done to them, without really realizing it. I do not like anything about myself, I can never be smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, good enough, or perfect enough, my house clean enough. When my eldest daughter was a baby, I had a friend that said "you will pass your low self-esteem to your daughter." I did not pay much attention to that, because the way DD was doted on by me and grandparents. It did effect all three of them, and I am so sorry for that. My youngest is always saying " mom am I pretty, mom am I skinny?" All of them the girls do this, as they have heard me put myself down, year after year, day after day. I am my own worst critic. I depise what I have done, and wish I could turn the clock back, but I cannot. I try and not say negative things about myself, infront of them, it is such a stronghold, I believe many of us women are bound with. I was just reading the marriage folder where women, excuse bad behavior by husbands because of the things I am writing about. This is deep for me to share, I always smile, and act like things are wonderful. Sometimes the smile is real, I truly love others, and build them up, because I want to, many have had it much worse than I have. My main reason for sharing this deep depresion of mine,is to encourage people, that they are not alone, and I know God can and will restore our souls, that is my hope. I also want to encourage women not to put themselves down in front of their daughters, it becomes their childrens stronghold also. I have done a very bad thing to my daughters, without meaning to. I am asking the Lords help, for them, and for myself, and others. I also want to know if anyone has done this mistake, and if anyone has a overcomer story. Thanks for listening.

deermousie -> RE: What I have done. (6/3/2008 1:40:48 AM)
Now is when you can demonstrate to your daughters how a Christian realizes they blew it and turnsto God for help to get it fixed. Be a visual aid! They will have struggles in life, and they will be able to look back and remember how Mom did it so they can do it, too. Talk to your pastor, maybe get some Christian counseling, and root out the lies and strongholds on your life that are hurting you. Learn to tell the truth to yourself: you are saved, God loves you (look at Isaiah 43 and prepare to have your hair stand straight up), and you have value because Jesus died for you and knows your name - it's written in the Lamb's Book of Life. The Bble will give you the truth to live by, so be there daily. This is your homework assignment - get started, and God bless you. I am praying for you tonight. (((hugs))) note: yeah, I've struggled with depression and poor self-worth almost all my life, and my kid didn't get the best of moms, either. But she is watching God heal me, so she knows God can work miracles in people's lives. And she's turned out far better than I had any right to expect because God did it; may it be so with your little ones, too. [:)]

lightshineon -> RE: What I have done. (6/3/2008 1:53:23 AM)
Thank You dermousie for prayer, and encouragment, and wisdom. I will read the passages. The Lord has been dealing with me about this for a while now. I wonder what is the root cause of these feelings, and how they become stongholds. My prayers ae with you also.[:)] And a big hug back at you. I read the Bible alot, lol even before I was born again. I love Gods word. quote: ORIGINAL: deermousie Now is when you can demonstrate to your daughters how a Christian realizes they blew it and turnsto God for help to get it fixed. Be a visual aid! They will have struggles in life, and they will be able to look back and remember how Mom did it so they can do it, too. Talk to your pastor, maybe get some Christian counseling, and root out the lies and strongholds on your life that are hurting you. Learn to tell the truth to yourself: you are saved, God loves you (look at Isaiah 43 and prepare to have your hair stand straight up), and you have value because Jesus died for you and knows your name - it's written in the Lamb's Book of Life. The Bble will give you the truth to live by, so be there daily. This is your homework assignment - get started, and God bless you. I am praying for you tonight. (((hugs))) note: yeah, I've struggled with depression and poor self-worth almost all my life, and my kid didn't get the best of moms, either. But she is watching God heal me, so she knows God can work miracles in people's lives. And she's turned out far better than I had any right to expect because God did it; may it be so with your little ones, too. [:)]

stampinlady -> RE: What I have done. (6/3/2008 9:11:55 AM)
{{{{Lightshine}}}}} I struggle too and in the last few years have made it a prayer issue. I'm always reminded how we are to "renew our minds" and to "die daily" to sin. Have you considered going to a christian counselor? There have been a few times when I considered it, but never followed through. How is your relationship with your hubby? My dh is so good about lifting me up and encouragin me. I praise God for bringing him into my life. Appologize to your kids whe you screw up and encourage them to pray for you. I struggle with losing weight and I know what I need to do, but at the same time I try not to bring it up infront of our kids. Our big thing right now is making better choices in what we eat and how we use our time. I too don't want to pass my "bad" on to my kids, but sometimes you can't help it. My dd is very much like my dh, very up beat and positive, which is wonderful, but ds tends to have my negativity and it's hard to see this in him. I try to show ds scripture that deals with complaining, whining and being obedient to deal with both of our attitudes. It's hard sometimes, but God will give you the strenghth when you choose to lean on him. I hope I've encouraged you a bit and will try to remember to pray for you.

jlp1 -> RE: What I have done. (6/3/2008 9:48:51 AM)
I can only tell you what my mom told me; cute don't mean a thing (sh), sorry for that but it really stuck with me and keep me grounded. She said it so boldly and out of anger because I told her I wanted to be a model or an actress when I grew up and she said no you will use you head and your heart and not you looks" it made look at what she was really saying. She said that its what's on the inside that counts. She said the prettier you are the more men you attract, the more men you attract the more temptation you have to fight. My MOM never, ever, ever, ever focused on looks she always talked about how you behave and treat others and I emphasize that with my BOYS**. So maybe you can start now, no time like the present.

delete123 -> RE: What I have done. (6/3/2008 2:53:45 PM)
Lightshineon~ You may feel terrible for what you did, but I will tell you what you did right. You recognized your error You are repenting over it (((( Hugs)))))) for you!!!! My mother did this to my sisters and myself. I won't go into details of what it all entailed, but the outcome has not been good. We do not know our self, worth, beauty, etc.... We have each chosen different paths and do not share each others companies, because it is too much of a reminder. But you now have power over this, because as a mother. You recognize what has been going on and have the chance to correct it. God Bless you abundantly CRH

pbaribeault -> RE: What I have done. (6/3/2008 3:36:32 PM)
lightshineon, Would you refresh for me the ages of your girls? Are they still young enough to be asking, "Am I pretty/smart/worthwhile" or have they pretty much decided that they are not? Can they join you in a study of self worth, or even in some 'group' counseling? Here's the thing, my friend, I've seen you all over this board, and have a lot of respect for you. So I'm surprised. I never thought I'd hear you say things that are so colossally arrogant -- and to you children! Why is it that you think you are smarter than the God of the universe? Haven't you ever heard the word "omniscient"? Or is it that you don't believe the Bible? Forgive me for the attention grabbing phrases. I know you believe the Bible, I'm just trying to get you worked up so I can hit you with this idea: If you know what God thinks about His children -- that He loves them, considers them to be deeply worthwhile, saves them, calls them and grants them purpose... Who are you to just stand there and disagree with Him? And I'm not talking about your children. I'm talking about you. Do you know 'you' better than He knows you? Are you some kind of exception to Scripture? Does the Bible really mean, "God so loved most of the world..." except you. And you just happened to be lucky enough to hear the gospel and get in on the "whosoever" deal... because that's only fair for Him to make it open for everybody? Can you hear how twisted that is? I'm going to get TOS'd for heresy! Just stand up and say, "I am wrong. The LORD MY GOD is right about me." Even when you can't see why, just trust that God is smarter than you are, and that His judgment is sound. When in doubt, here's my best advice: Never disagree with an all-knowing, all-powerful deity.

Liveloved -> RE: What I have done. (6/3/2008 7:19:35 PM)
quote: lightshineon, Would you refresh for me the ages of your girls? Are they still young enough to be asking, "Am I pretty/smart/worthwhile" or have they pretty much decided that they are not? Can they join you in a study of self worth, or even in some 'group' counseling? Here's the thing, my friend, I've seen you all over this board, and have a lot of respect for you. So I'm surprised. I never thought I'd hear you say things that are so colossally arrogant -- and to you children! Why is it that you think you are smarter than the God of the universe? Haven't you ever heard the word "omniscient"? Or is it that you don't believe the Bible? Forgive me for the attention grabbing phrases. I know you believe the Bible, I'm just trying to get you worked up so I can hit you with this idea: If you know what God thinks about His children -- that He loves them, considers them to be deeply worthwhile, saves them, calls them and grants them purpose... Who are you to just stand there and disagree with Him? And I'm not talking about your children. I'm talking about you. Do you know 'you' better than He knows you? Are you some kind of exception to Scripture? Does the Bible really mean, "God so loved most of the world..." except you. And you just happened to be lucky enough to hear the gospel and get in on the "whosoever" deal... because that's only fair for Him to make it open for everybody? Can you hear how twisted that is? I'm going to get TOS'd for heresy! Just stand up and say, "I am wrong. The LORD MY GOD is right about me." Even when you can't see why, just trust that God is smarter than you are, and that His judgment is sound. When in doubt, here's my best advice: Never disagree with an all-knowing, all-powerful deity. AMEN! And, yes, if you ask me, I will say I am screaming. I have lived a very similar life, dear. And to get me to the place pbaribeault wants you to be, it took a pastor who came against me with such judgment and hatred that I wanted to take my own life. But through it all, Jesus told me He loves me. I AM LOVED. You are loved. And to live in any other reality is wrong, absolutely wrong. It is saying that we know more than God. And we don't. He knows. He is right. And He says we are loved and worthy of His love. . . all because of Jesus. So I pray that you come to that place of knowing His love too and that you will let no one tell you otherwise. And when you hear those messages that say you're not good enough, say "Jesus is". And when you hear the message you're not thin enough, say "Jesus says I am". And any other message, defeat it with His love for you. Bless you, lightshineon! The Lord loves you and I'm sendin' His love to you right now, [:)]LL

manda59 -> RE: What I have done. (6/3/2008 9:14:17 PM)
lightshineon, Come to the Lord, draw near and confess to Him how you have been meeting your needs for security, self-worth and significance in yourself rather than in Him. Ask Him for forgiveness and for cleansing. Copy and paste this, put it in a nice font, and print it out for yourself and each of your daughters. Study it, both on your own and together, look up the verses and stick it up on your kitchen wall and anyway where you will see it frequently every day: (courtesy of shelaughed) “WHO I AM IN CHRIST” I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10). I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5). I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2). I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14). I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (I John 5:18). I am holy and without blame before Him in love (I Peter 1:16; Ephesians 1:4). I have the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:5; I Corinthians 2:16). I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7). I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world (I John 4:4). I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17). I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17,18). I have received the power of the Holy Spirit to lay hands on the sick and see them recover, to cast out demons, to speak with new tongues. I have power over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means harm me (Mark 16:17,18; Luke 10:17,19). I have put off the old man and have put on the new man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9,10). I have given, and it is given to me; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, men give into my bosom (Luke 6:38). I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16). I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13). I shall do even greater works than Christ Jesus (John 14:12). I show forth the praises of God Who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (I Peter 2:9). I am God’s child�for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (I Peter 1:23). I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10). I am a new creature in Christ (II Corinthians 5:17). I am a spirit being�alive to God (I Thessalonians 5:23; Romans 6:11). I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind (II Corinthians 4:4). I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22,25). I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17). I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37). I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11). I am a partaker of His divine nature (II Peter 1:3,4). I am an ambassador for Christ (II Corinthians 5:20). I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (I Peter 2:9). I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (II Corinthians 5:21). I am the temple of the Holy Spirit; I am not my own (I Corinthians 6:19). I am the head and not the tail; I am above only and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13). I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14). I am His elect, full of mercy, kindness, humility, and longsuffering (Romans 8:33; Colossians 3:12). I am forgiven of all my sins and washed in the Blood (Ephesians 1:7). I am delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God’s kingdom (Colossians 1:13). I am redeemed from the curse of sin, sickness, and poverty (Galatians 3:13; Deuteronomy 28:15-68). I am firmly rooted, built up, established in my faith and overflowing with gratitude (Colossians 2:7). I am called of God to be the voice of His praise (II Timothy 1:9; Psalm 66:8). I am healed by the stripes of Jesus (I Peter 2:24; Isaiah 53:5). I am raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly places (Colossians 2:12; Ephesians 2:6). I am greatly loved by God (Colossians 3:12; Romans 1:7; I Thessalonians 1:4; Ephesians 2:4). I am strengthened with all might according to His glorious power (Colossians 1:11). I am submitted to God, and the devil flees from me because I resist him in the Name of Jesus (James 4:7). I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward (Philippians 3:14). For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind (II Timothy 1:7). It is not I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20). _____________________________

Hislittleone -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 5:48:54 AM)
((((lightshineon)))) I understand how you feel. I am my own worst critic. We have been blessed with sons so I don't know about passing this on to a daughter. But it's a big struggle for me. Thank you for posting this. It's been good for me to read everyone's responses. It's a good reminder that God loves me (and YOU [;)]) when I'm thin or heavy, grumpy, impatient, keeping a messy home etc. His love is UNCONDITIONAL! Praise the Lord! Manda, thanks for posting that list! I have a similar one that I read occasionally (went through it daily last year). Deermousie: quote: yeah, I've struggled with depression and poor self-worth almost all my life, and my kid didn't get the best of moms, either. But she is watching God heal me, so she knows God can work miracles in people's lives. And she's turned out far better than I had any right to expect because God did it; may it be so with your little ones, too. My oldest is turning 12 and I could say the same about him. He is turning out better than I have a right to expect and it's all because of God's grace.

manda59 -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 7:56:53 AM)
Thing is, as someone once pointed out to me, we aren't meant to be perfect parents - for, if perfect parents existed, no child would feel the need for a Saviour.

jaimestarcross -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 1:45:55 PM)
Manda posted Who I Am In Christ is good for renewing your mind daily on the Word. Many women get to the place of putting themselves down because of what they see or watch on tv or movies, books/magazines they read, or music they listen to.... even from being around people who talk down to them about looks etc... You have to watch who you associate with as well as what you listen to and watch!

bzirk -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 2:28:53 PM)
Lightshineon, I feel for you. I know how depressing it is to realize certain things I've passed on that I didn't want to. Remembering what hopes I had of preparing my children for the world only to realize that I came up short was a bitter discovery. But there really is good news. quote: ORIGINAL: deermousie Now is when you can demonstrate to your daughters how a Christian realizes they blew it and turnsto God for help to get it fixed. Be a visual aid! They will have struggles in life, and they will be able to look back and remember how Mom did it so they can do it, too. Excellent, excellent advice. Plus, we have the knowledge that the Lord is the one who really upholds us. Let them see that you are letting Him uphold you. I know you believe that, and perhaps the Lord is showing you how to act on it more. And btw, thank you so much for sharing. Those words of yours to mothers are like gold.

elastic -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 4:02:47 PM)
quote: If you know what God thinks about His children -- that He loves them, considers them to be deeply worthwhile, saves them, calls them and grants them purpose... Who are you to just stand there and disagree with Him? tell this to all the women in the women's folder who are going on diets...not because they want to eat healthy, but because they want to fit into a pair of jeans/ look good for their spouse/ feel prettier etc... tell this to men in the men only folder who are only attracted to women with large breasts, or thin women, or blonde women, or 'feminine submissive' women. tell this to men who won't date a woman with a wrinkle on her face, or a woman who feels that her only choice in life is to get botox injections... and most people who do the above things are 'christians' in our society, we are conditioned to fit a mold, and if you don't fit it then you are not worthy of anything. my mother didn't fit the mold and i grew up in a household of misery listening to her go on and on and on about how ugly she was, and how fat she was, and how ugly and fat I was (and am)..... all i can do is break this cycle for my future children. they will never hear me utter a word of disdain about myself, and certainly not about them. they will never hear me say how much i hate myself or the way i look. that is language that i have removed from my vocabulary. bible verses are nice, and remind us who we are in the big picture of things, but the battle goes on in our minds. that is where we have to fight the feelings of not being good enough or attractive enough or what have you. it's not too late to reverse the damage you may have caused to your daughters. cut out the negative self talk. even if you feel that way about yourself, don't say it out loud to them. keep them away from magazines as much as possible and state the importance of being a beautiful person inside verses outside...beauty will fade away. of course. my .02

bzirk -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 4:18:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: elastic quote: If you know what God thinks about His children -- that He loves them, considers them to be deeply worthwhile, saves them, calls them and grants them purpose... Who are you to just stand there and disagree with Him? tell this to all the women in the women's folder who are going on diets...not because they want to eat healthy, but because they want to fit into a pair of jeans/ look good for their spouse/ feel prettier etc... tell this to men in the men only folder who are only attracted to women with large breasts, or thin women, or blonde women, or 'feminine submissive' women. tell this to men who won't date a woman with a wrinkle on her face, or a woman who feels that her only choice in life is to get botox injections... and most people who do the above things are 'christians' in our society, we are conditioned to fit a mold, and if you don't fit it then you are not worthy of anything. my mother didn't fit the mold and i grew up in a household of misery listening to her go on and on and on about how ugly she was, and how fat she was, and how ugly and fat I was (and am)..... all i can do is break this cycle for my future children. they will never hear me utter a word of disdain about myself, and certainly not about them. they will never hear me say how much i hate myself or the way i look. that is language that i have removed from my vocabulary. Make it 4 cents. I agree heartily. quote: bible verses are nice, and remind us who we are in the big picture of things, but the battle goes on in our minds. that is where we have to fight the feelings of not being good enough or attractive enough or what have you. it's not too late to reverse the damage you may have caused to your daughters. cut out the negative self talk. even if you feel that way about yourself, don't say it out loud to them. keep them away from magazines as much as possible and state the importance of being a beautiful person inside verses outside...beauty will fade away. of course. my .02 But Bible verses are not just nice. They are not just platitudes even though they might be spouted like that at times. The Lord's word has a power unlike anything else. It's good to refrain from harmful things, but it's not practical to withdraw from the world. There has to be something to cling to, and that's God's word. That's the way that battle you're talking about is won and not merely from withdrawing from the negative. All that does is create a vacuum. Granted the Lord's word can be conveyed in a way that is less than loving, but that doesn't change it.

elastic -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 4:26:46 PM)
quote: But Bible verses are not just nice. i didn't mean it that way... quote: They are not just platitudes even though they might be spouted like that at times. i did mean it this way.[:)] people do tend to throw verses out..but sometimes it wrings hollow. just my opinion. verses are important, i certainly didn't mean for it to come across that way...sorry if it did.

bzirk -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 4:31:57 PM)
Frankly, I should have crafted that post a little better. I did sound like I was chewing on you. I agree that people can relate Bible passages like they're clubs you use on someone's head. That's wrong. The great thing though is that it doesn't change the beauty of the Lord. Might make Him appear a little cloudy sometimes, but thankfully, the Holy Spirit in us doesn't let that fuzziness stay forever.

deermousie -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 6:03:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: manda59(courtesy of shelaughed) �WHO I AM IN CHRIST� I am complete in Him Who is the Head of all principality and power (Colossians 2:10). I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5). I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2). I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14). I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (I John 5:18). I am holy and without blame before Him in love (I Peter 1:16; Ephesians 1:4). I have the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:5; I Corinthians 2:16). I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7). I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world (I John 4:4). I have received the gift of righteousness and reign as a king in life by Jesus Christ (Romans 5:17). I have received the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Jesus, the eyes of my understanding being enlightened (Ephesians 1:17,18). I have received the power of the Holy Spirit to lay hands on the sick and see them recover, to cast out demons, to speak with new tongues. I have power over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means harm me (Mark 16:17,18; Luke 10:17,19). I have put off the old man and have put on the new man, which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of Him Who created me (Colossians 3:9,10). I have given, and it is given to me; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, men give into my bosom (Luke 6:38). I have no lack for my God supplies all of my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). I can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one with my shield of faith (Ephesians 6:16). I can do all things through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:13). I shall do even greater works than Christ Jesus (John 14:12). I show forth the praises of God Who has called me out of darkness into His marvelous light (I Peter 2:9). I am God�s child�for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God, which lives and abides forever (I Peter 1:23). I am God�s workmanship, created in Christ unto good works (Ephesians 2:10). I am a new creature in Christ (II Corinthians 5:17). I am a spirit being�alive to God (I Thessalonians 5:23; Romans 6:11). I am a believer, and the light of the Gospel shines in my mind (II Corinthians 4:4). I am a doer of the Word and blessed in my actions (James 1:22,25). I am a joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17). I am more than a conqueror through Him Who loves me (Romans 8:37). I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony (Revelation 12:11). I am a partaker of His divine nature (II Peter 1:3,4). I am an ambassador for Christ (II Corinthians 5:20). I am part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a purchased people (I Peter 2:9). I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ (II Corinthians 5:21). I am the temple of the Holy Spirit; I am not my own (I Corinthians 6:19). I am the head and not the tail; I am above only and not beneath (Deuteronomy 28:13). I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14). I am His elect, full of mercy, kindness, humility, and longsuffering (Romans 8:33; Colossians 3:12). I am forgiven of all my sins and washed in the Blood (Ephesians 1:7). I am delivered from the power of darkness and translated into God�s kingdom (Colossians 1:13). I am redeemed from the curse of sin, sickness, and poverty (Galatians 3:13; Deuteronomy 28:15-68). I am firmly rooted, built up, established in my faith and overflowing with gratitude (Colossians 2:7). I am called of God to be the voice of His praise (II Timothy 1:9; Psalm 66:8). I am healed by the stripes of Jesus (I Peter 2:24; Isaiah 53:5). I am raised up with Christ and seated in heavenly places (Colossians 2:12; Ephesians 2:6). I am greatly loved by God (Colossians 3:12; Romans 1:7; I Thessalonians 1:4; Ephesians 2:4). I am strengthened with all might according to His glorious power (Colossians 1:11). I am submitted to God, and the devil flees from me because I resist him in the Name of Jesus (James 4:7). I press on toward the goal to win the prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward (Philippians 3:14). For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind (II Timothy 1:7). It is not I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2:20). Whoo-woo! Spiritual dynamite! Thank you, Manda and Shelaughed! My husband often says to use the truth of God to shout down the lies of the devil, and that's so true. When Satan says you aren't good enough, you can respond: "God says I'm a sinner who is forgiven and covered in the righteousness of Christ. That's good enough for Him, and no one else counts because He is the God of the universe. And nice try, you creep - it didn't work again. Praise God forever!" When we resist the devil, he has to flee. quote: bible verses are nice, and remind us who we are in the big picture of things, but the battle goes on in our minds. that is where we have to fight the feelings of not being good enough or attractive enough or what have you. I'm glad you amended this quote, because at face value it is poison, to say the Bible verses are just "nice" and to infer there are bigger guns to use than Scripture. I'm glad you explained you were talking about people just clubbing others with verses willy nilly because it sounds "spiritual", and I guess some people do that. I'm thinking the people here are using Scripture as God gave us His Word to do spiritual battle - the sword of the Spirit is the Word of God, the only defensive weapon the Christian has, and to brush that off is to be left at the mercy of the enemy of our souls, who has no mercy. God's Word is adequate for every situation, and we are to use it to be trained to discern good and evil. Praise God for His goodness forever!!! [:)]

bzirk -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 6:27:37 PM)
I printed that list Manda posted. Good stuff!

manda59 -> RE: What I have done. (6/4/2008 7:22:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: elastic people do tend to throw verses out..but sometimes it wrings hollow. Scripture exhorts us to take every thought captive for Christ (2 Corinthians 14 v 4-5). Our strongest weapon in that is the Word of God in the power of the Holy Spirit. Best way I know of changing how we think is to read it (out loud is good, especially with that list I posted), and ask God for help in truly believing it, right deep down.

lightshineon -> RE: What I have done. (6/5/2008 8:44:16 AM)
Hello, thank you all for wonderful advice. My girls are in their teens. One seems to have great self worth, but underneath you can see the evidence of the harm I caused. My main point, I guess was if you feel bad about yourself, do not express it infront of children. Once I was gettibg on to my youngest, for putting herself down she said " Mom, you say the same things." I have repented to the Lord, trying to get the words to say and talk to my three girls. Your prayers and verses have helped me. Yesterday, I felt so free, I even had a thought of going withot make-up, but did not. I just felt so good. It is so sick this world, my SIL has lost alot of weight, and she told my mother she was trying to be as thin as me. That disturbed me, because she is is nearly six feet, bigger boned, I am 5'2" with a small frame. That made me sad, I went and talked to her. She is smoking four packs of ciggerates to achieve this. I do not smoke btw. The feeling of inferiority go further than looks, sometimes it goes to am not as smart or other things, so this can effect boys also. I hav learned never to ask my husband, if I look fat in something. If I do I do. My house does not hve to be perfect, that is hard, but my DD say it looks like a museum, and do not enjoy friends over. I am going to learn not to be so picky i.e. if someone puts their feet on the couch, with shoes off, I will not say anything. I am just going to get better, I know it. Thank You. I have confidence in the Lord. He convicted me of this behavior, so he is willing to set me free, and break this curse. I pray for all tht stuggle as well.[:D]

lightshineon -> RE: What I have done. (6/5/2008 8:49:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lightshineon Hello, thank you all for wonderful advice. My girls are in their teens. One seems to have great self worth, but underneath you can see the evidence of the harm I caused. My main point, I guess was if you feel bad about yourself, do not express it infront of children. Once I was getting on to my youngest, for putting herself down she said " Mom, you say the same things." I have repented to the Lord, trying to get the words to say and talk to my three girls. Your prayers and verses have helped me. Yesterday, I felt so free, I even had a thought of going withot make-up, but did not. I just felt so good. It is so sick this world, my SIL has lost alot of weight, and she told my mother she was trying to be as thin as me. That disturbed me, because she is is nearly six feet, bigger boned, I am 5'2" with a small frame. That made me sad, I went and talked to her. She is smoking four packs of ciggerates to achieve this. I do not smoke btw. The feeling of inferiority go further than looks, sometimes it goes to am not as smart or other things, so this can effect boys also. I am learning never to ask my husband, if I look fat in something. If I do I do. My house does not have to be perfect, that is hard, but my DD say it looks like a museum, and do not enjoy friends over. I am going to learn not to be so picky i.e. if someone puts their feet on the couch, with shoes off, I will not say anything. I am just going to get better, I know it. Thank You. I have confidence in the Lord. He convicted me of this behavior, so he is willing to set me free, and break this curse. I pray for all that stuggle as well, which I believe is many women, girls, and men.

tracydolls -> RE: What I have done. (6/5/2008 9:59:01 AM)
Light, Oh man do I struggle with this. I have 4 daughters. The first 2 are 21 and 20. I made so many mistakes with them!! They seen me go "thru" a lifestyle I don't even want to post. Bad men,(their dads) drugs, severe self-esteem issues. I struggled with my mom leaving me at 8, so I did not know how to have a good mother-daughter relationship. I had no good examples. It hurts now to watch them go thru some of the same things. It's hard to tell them I was so wrong. But I try , I beg the Lord to help me. to help them. I confess it is my fault. I tell them I cannot change the past. Oh if I could. Please do not go down the same path as me, it leads no where but alot of hurt and pain. It will weigh you down. I know. I try to share stories of women in the Bible. I also try to deemphasize that we should all be one way. Or look a certain way. With next 2, who are 8 year old twins, I've learned a few things hopefully and I have to catch myself from saying things, find the beauty in all of them..I try to encourage whatever they are good at. Now even at their worst, hair sticking up, am breath, I will play with them, tell them they are beautiful. Laugh. give them little presents along the way. (Which reminds me I gotta get some little gifts for finishing 2nd grade today) I'm also very careful what they watch, see, or look at for role models. No Paris Hilton, no music that degrades women(which is a big problem in my community) nothing like that. I'm praying for you and daughters! I know that battle well.

crankius -> RE: What I have done. (6/5/2008 11:45:05 AM)
Thank you for posting this topic, lightshineon. You are so right! I'm glad you shared. Elastic, great post! And I've seen elastic's posts enough to know that she really does use and value scripture, so I'm glad that misunderstanding has been worked out. [:D] I am also a mom to a girl, and I make a great point to just be happy with myself and not cause a complex in my daughter. We definitely live in a vain, self-conscious society, with absurdity as the ideal. It really takes a transforming of the mind by God to help us keep our perspectives right. There is so much that can be said on this topic. I'm very glad God is working directly with you Lightshineon, and that you are brave enough to share it here for all of us to ponder and learn from.

elastic -> RE: What I have done. (6/5/2008 1:54:39 PM)
quote: And I've seen elastic's posts enough to know that she really does use and value scripture, so I'm glad that misunderstanding has been worked out. i really do value scripture, i promise![:D][8D][:)] (thanks for your post btw)

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