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deermousie -> RE: Feeling overwhelmed javascript:void(AddText('[\&o]')) (6/4/2008 11:24:22 PM)
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I am so sorry you find yourself in this hard place, Cassij. (((Hugs)))
The first step for you to take I'd think is get your relationship with God straight. His Word clearly says (in about 8 places) that we are not to practice fornication - that's sex before marriage - and you have violated His command. Confess (God says it is sin and we say it is sin), repent (turn around and go the other way - don't have sex outside of marriage anymore. Either be celibate or get married) and accept that God has forgiven you, because He promises He would (I John 1:9) when we confess our sin.
The second step that would be good for you to take is one that's already been suggested - contact the local Crisis Pregnancy Clinic and get some help. You'll find kind Christian women working there who will love you and help you. I don't (as in DO NOT) recommend Planned Parenthood because when you walk in the door they see dollar signs and they will counsel you to abort. They'll make light of killing the child that God has given you, and you would have guilt and feel terrible the rest of your life.
The third step is to plan the next year and the next twenty years. You may want to plan to adopt out your child to a stable Christian couple who have empty arms and can give your child the gift of a two-parent family. Your bf would have to give up his parental rights, but it wouldn't cost him money for the next 18 years.
If you keep the child, you'll need to marshall your resources and figure how to pay for everything: hospital bill (our kid cost $15,000 18 years ago but we had some problems), set up for crib, clothes, equipment, and car seat, and how you're going to pay rent, transportation and groceries while you're laid up and then sleepless for some months. Then figure out how to raise this child while working full time and without any help from a mate. It costs about $200,000 to raise a kid to legal age, not counting college.
Next, I'd get a lawyer and go after bf for child support for the next 18 years. Prepare for him to hate you for it, but if he won't do the right thing by his kid at least the law will force him. Ordinarily guys don't pay child support longer than 2 years - they disappear or refuse to work or something. A guy who would ditch his pregnant gf is ditching his own child - really despicable and low down (next time, pick a better man: one who loves you and will commit to a lifetime of marriage and will be thrilled when children come).
Lastly, I'd consider finding another church that teaches from the pulpit the Bible on how to live the Christian life. The one you're in didn't since your post didn't include awareness that you'd sinned badly. The church you're in has done you a tremendous diservice, and there may be other really basic guidelines of how not to jump off a cliff that you haven't been taught yet and could be waiting to bite you. Only God's ways work, so find a place that teaches it.
God bless you, dear one. This is hard, but God can bring great good out of it and will teach you how to live a life of success and joy no matter where you start from. And a new child is on its way - a blessing of life! Wow!
If you aren't already doing it, I recommend you start reading the Bible every day and learning that it's a love letter from God to you. Three chapters a day will get you through it in a year (then start over - I do this, and I learn a bunch more every time. You will, too). (((Hugs))) to you, dear one; I am praying for you tonight. God bless you.
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