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Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/2/2008 9:24:07 PM
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elliemuffy
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I have been dating my boyfriend for awhile now and I love him so much, but we havent had sex yet because I am afriad it is against The Bible. Please some help? maybe if it is could you please post the verses so I can look it up and read it myself. Thank You and God Bless!
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/2/2008 9:36:53 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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It is most definitely not biblical. On the left of this page you will see a box entitled 'search the bible'. You can put 'fornication' in the box and see what you come up with.
Is your boyfriend a Christian? Are you?
One thing you should realize is that there are many reasons to abstain from sexual activity (and by that I don't mean only intercourse). One of the reasons I would like to point out is that it is emotionally dangerous to you both. When you have sex with someone you create an emotional and chemical bond and it is very painful when that is broken. You will regret it later. So save yourself the trouble while you can.
Also, if your b/f is pressuring you or whining and begging, then he is not treating you with respect and you should break up with him-he doesn't deserve you!
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/3/2008 1:22:49 AM
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deermousie
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quote:
ORIGINAL: elliemuffy
I have been dating my boyfriend for awhile now and I love him so much, but we havent had sex yet because I am afriad it is against The Bible. Please some help? maybe if it is could you please post the verses so I can look it up and read it myself. Thank You and God Bless!
God bless you, Elliemuffy!
Good question to ask. God makes it very clear in the Bible that sex is forbidden in single people, but in marriage people aren't supposed to refuse their spouse. Lots of good sex! That's because God created sex - in Genesis God made mankind male and female, and it's the only created thing that God said was "very good" instead of just good. It's a blessing and powerfully bonds people together, but needs to be in the context God made if for: marriage. Outside of marriage it tears people apart and tears children's lives apart.
As Jenny-Fair said, sex before marriage is called fornication and is part of sexual immorality. Here's some verses; it's on God's "bad list" in Gal. 5 as being something done by people who aren't going to heaven:
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints Ephesians 5:3
Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry Colossians 3:5
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. Matthew 15:19
You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality (fornication). Acts 15:29
I'm really glad you asked! You are keeping your life according to God's plan by protecting your purity, and boy, is that ever going to pay off big! Please show these verses to your boyfriend; you'll know he's a keeper if he wants to do things God's way. I'd recommend you avoid physical involvement, as it's designed to prepare people for sex, and you guys aren't married (see 1 Cor. 7:1,2).
God bless you, dear one. (((hugs)))
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/5/2008 9:59:52 PM
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hispanicnyc
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please do yourself the favor and wait until marriage!
quote:
ORIGINAL: elliemuffy
I have been dating my boyfriend for awhile now and I love him so much, but we havent had sex yet because I am afriad it is against The Bible. Please some help? maybe if it is could you please post the verses so I can look it up and read it myself. Thank You and God Bless!
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/6/2008 5:46:05 PM
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NealIRC
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Depends on the marriage.
If it is a religious marriage, then yes.
If it is a legal marriage, then no (a legal marriage is just a piece of paper).
However, I think there's a difference between pre-marital sex and sex before marriage.
1 is the 2 of you *intend* on getting married.
The other is the 2 of you have no intention on getting married.
I would say the 1st is okay.
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/6/2008 6:05:28 PM
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Konstantinos
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the whole reason for getting married is so that you can have sex.
if you could have sex outside of marriage then why get married? it would only be to ease those with an insecurity in their relationship with a legal contract and the social changes that occur after one is married.
granted it could also be a show of love but, thats only cause society decided this to be a show of love over thousands of years.
bottom line is what is practically true. and the only thing thats practically true according to the bible is that you can have sex in marriage.
you are also supposed to love your wife and the wife to respect her husband but you can love and respect outside of marriage. not teh same with sex.
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/6/2008 6:42:24 PM
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Kat_D
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NealIRC
Depends on the marriage.
If it is a religious marriage, then yes.
If it is a legal marriage, then no (a legal marriage is just a piece of paper).
However, I think there's a difference between pre-marital sex and sex before marriage.
1 is the 2 of you *intend* on getting married.
The other is the 2 of you have no intention on getting married.
I would say the 1st is okay.
Well, you would be wrong. It doesn't depend on anything...sex outside marriage is wrong in God's eyes for anyone anytime.
19 "Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." -Galatians 5
Now, let's see your Scripture that would contradict that and back up what you said. Uh, don't bother looking...there isn't one. 
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"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/6/2008 6:45:45 PM
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NealIRC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Konstantinos
the whole reason for getting married is so that you can have sex.
Oh really? What about those that want to have a tax break?
quote:
if you could have sex outside of marriage then why get married?
There's a lot of legal benefits.
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/6/2008 6:50:23 PM
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NealIRC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Kat_D
quote:
ORIGINAL: NealIRC
Depends on the marriage.
If it is a religious marriage, then yes.
If it is a legal marriage, then no (a legal marriage is just a piece of paper).
However, I think there's a difference between pre-marital sex and sex before marriage.
1 is the 2 of you *intend* on getting married.
The other is the 2 of you have no intention on getting married.
I would say the 1st is okay.
Well, you would be wrong. It doesn't depend on anything...sex outside marriage is wrong in God's eyes for anyone anytime.
So what happens when we use the same word to mean 2 different things? Why, we get confused and assume the same thing.
So what happens when the law books use the word "marriage" and someone goes "Oh, that word is also in the Bible!"
Why, they'll assume it is completely the same thing.
Legal marriage has nothing to do with religion.
A woman could get "religiouslly" married to a man, and legally change her last name. The only difference is that she didn't get legally married.
Of course, 99.99% of you would argue that if you get religiously married, you *should* also get legally married. That's fine. There could be a lot of benefits from legal marriage, such as paying spousal taxes.
Now answer this question if you want - if a man and a woman were stranded on a deserted island, and they wanted to get married, how would they do it? Do they need a piece of paper from the government to "justify" having sex?
Or how did people from ancient times get "legally" married, before paper and ink was around? Religious marriage is all you need.
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/6/2008 7:32:31 PM
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ta_mosquito
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MODERATOR'S NOTE :: ATTENTION PLEASE
In our forums marriage will be defined as follows:
A union between a man and a woman as recognized by state and federal laws. (We do not consider same-gender unions to be marriage in our community.)
Having sex with someone of the opposite gender does not make you married. God calls it sin.
Sustained and forceful arguments to the contrary will be considered a violation of our Terms of Service and may result in further action up to and including a ban from the site.
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Forums Moderator
Please do not reply to this message within the forums or chat.
Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns.
Please do not send me PMs regarding this message.
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/8/2008 1:46:02 PM
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nuclear_sidewalk
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NealIRC
Depends on the marriage.
If it is a religious marriage, then yes.
If it is a legal marriage, then no (a legal marriage is just a piece of paper).
However, I think there's a difference between pre-marital sex and sex before marriage.
1 is the 2 of you *intend* on getting married.
The other is the 2 of you have no intention on getting married.
I would say the 1st is okay.
Emphasis mine...
You know that's a terrible distinction to make. We should never put our desires before God. If you're in a relationship, then future marriage is a gift from God. Putting your desire to experience a physical relationship before the desire to honor God is a big no-no. Once we do that, we're already headed down the long road.
I know this from a bit of experience. Rationalize all you want, but it's defying God's will in the end.
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/8/2008 5:05:49 PM
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March7
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Dear Elliemuffy asked for scriptural direction on the personal issue of intimacy. She wants the Lord's direction, God's words. Let's please honor this young woman and her question. Let's set ourselves aside and not use her thread as a format for debate. We are here to come alongside her and help her follow Jesus Christ, as she asked us to do.
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/8/2008 5:41:15 PM
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fist.sensei
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Konstantinos
the whole reason for getting married is so that you can have sex.
I hope that your philosophy matures before you marry.
Marriage is because you can't stand to be away from someone for any amount of time. Marriage is because you two make such a good team that together you are far better and more capable than you could ever dream of being apart. Marriage is because the two of you not only embrace each other's quirks and oddities, you enjoy them.
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/9/2008 1:53:13 PM
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chosen1986
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It is a sin to have sex before marriage because it is fornication. Sex is good and Godly but it is made for people that are married. Here are some scriptures 1Cor.10:8, 1Cor.6:9-20, 1Cor.7:8-9, Colossians 3:5-6 and its many more.
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/9/2008 2:19:45 PM
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blue1914
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quote:
ORIGINAL: elliemuffy
I have been dating my boyfriend for awhile now and I love him so much, but we havent had sex yet because I am afriad it is against The Bible. Please some help? maybe if it is could you please post the verses so I can look it up and read it myself. Thank You and God Bless!
Several have given you very good scriptures to research this topic on. I will add on thing that was taught to me as a child-adultery is colloquially (in general speech) defined as sex outside of marriage (when one or more of the parties involved happen to be married). The actual definition of the word does not require marriage by EITHER party-it is simply sex outside of marriage (or a corruption of the marriage bed), making the Commandment "thou shalt not commit adultery" apply to ALL sex outside of marriage, regardless of if either party is married or not. (the word adultery is from the Latin root word "adulterium" which translates to "corruption" or "state of corruption" in this case, the corruption is the marriage bed and that can occur BEFORE or AFTER marriage).
That said, I really wanted to comment on why God told us not to have sex outside of marriage. Sex is a VERY initimate expression of a love relationship-putting the "cart before the horse" by becoming intimate on that level with someone you will NOT spend the rest of your life with presents ALL types of troubles. The most obvious physical ones include unfair comparisons, memories, etc. etc. Take it from one who did it the WRONG way and wished he hadn't, it's NOT worth it at all!
< Message edited by blue1914 -- 6/9/2008 2:26:41 PM >
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/9/2008 4:19:22 PM
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deermousie
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Konstantinos
the whole reason for getting married is so that you can have sex.
I respectfully disagree in part; yes, sex belongs in marriage, and it's a big deal since God talks about it all over the place and there's a whole chapter in the Bible dealing with it (1Cor. 7). But God has other reasons for marriage:
Because the LORD has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/11/2008 3:21:24 AM
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Luv4self
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
But God has other reasons for marriage:
Because the LORD has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
Thank you Deermousie!
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/11/2008 11:39:55 AM
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preserved
Posts: 921
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Yes, If one or both of you are christians...Sex before marriage is a sin...Deermousie and others has provided you with the scripture references
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/19/2008 9:24:51 AM
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Ninjaearth
Posts: 65
Joined: 2/16/2008
From: Washington, D.C. - Maryland
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
quote:
ORIGINAL: Konstantinos
the whole reason for getting married is so that you can have sex.
I respectfully disagree in part; yes, sex belongs in marriage, and it's a big deal since God talks about it all over the place and there's a whole chapter in the Bible dealing with it (1Cor. 7). But God has other reasons for marriage:
Because the LORD has been witness
Between you and the wife of your youth,
With whom you have dealt treacherously;
Yet she is your companion
And your wife by covenant.
15 But did He not make them one,
Having a remnant of the Spirit?
And why one?
He seeks godly offspring.
I would agree that there are other reasons for marriage that are biblical, but the more evidenced in Scripture is for sex and procreation. Consider the verses in Proverbs that deal with advising a man to enjoy his wife and letting her satisfy him all the days of his life (given the context it is a sexual reference). It also deals with loving his wife (Eph and Col) just as Christ loved the church. Like it has been said, there's alot to it in 1 Cor 7 which actually says that the each are suppose to be give each other their "sexual rights" (NET Bible) and not refuse one another except for spiritual reasons (see context). Also, notice the attitude of Adam when he first received Eve; the context of them being unclothed also deals with their attitude towards sexuality (perversed after the fall). Also, the consummation in marriage (the sexual union) also gives as a taste to what we will experience in greater consummation with Christ at the marriage supper and for all eternity; this is why marriage is modeled after Christ and the church; the church experiences the highest degree of satisfaction through a consummation (not sexually consummation in this case) that is felt to the lesser degree that is similar in feeling when a man and a woman consummate their relationship in marriage. So, while there are other reasons, there is more Scripture evidence to say yes that marriage is primarily for sex (why have commandments that tell us that fornication is a sin, abstaining from sex outside of marriage is wrong, if this isn't the case; God intends for a man and woman to be engaged in sexual relations regularly, in regards to self-control (1 Cor 7), unless their are reasons for them to not be (fasting, spiritual maturity, health reasons, etc). Otherwise, have it married folks!!!!
In a final note, consider the emotional, mental, and spiritual factions that exist with those who have sex outside of marriage? Enough said. With that, it sex in a marriage would be extremely powerful and enjoyable and blissful to keep two people together for the rest of their lives.
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/19/2008 11:35:38 AM
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DaveW
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From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Konstantinos
the whole reason for getting married is so that you can have sex. Let me run against the pack here in defense of this statement.
While there are issues with the secular government that may lead a couple to marry (tax breaks, immigration issues, etc) there is only one thing excluded from a close loving relationship from a biblical standpoint: sex.
What else can you NOT DO scripturally if unmarried?
edited to add: Now days you can even have children without sex of any kind. IVF, artificial insemination, etc have all added to the options to have a child without any sexual contact whatsoever, and there are methods of withdrawing semen that in no way involve any kind of sexual activity.
< Message edited by DaveW -- 6/19/2008 11:46:14 AM >
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RE: Sex Before Marriage? Is it against the Bible? - 6/19/2008 11:55:59 AM
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deermousie
Posts: 1677
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ninjaearth
I would agree that there are other reasons for marriage that are biblical, but the more evidenced in Scripture is for sex and procreation. Consider the verses in Proverbs that deal with advising a man to enjoy his wife and letting her satisfy him all the days of his life (given the context it is a sexual reference). It also deals with loving his wife (Eph and Col) just as Christ loved the church. Like it has been said, there's alot to it in 1 Cor 7 which actually says that the each are suppose to be give each other their "sexual rights" (NET Bible) and not refuse one another except for spiritual reasons (see context). Also, notice the attitude of Adam when he first received Eve; the context of them being unclothed also deals with their attitude towards sexuality (perversed after the fall). Also, the consummation in marriage (the sexual union) also gives as a taste to what we will experience in greater consummation with Christ at the marriage supper and for all eternity; this is why marriage is modeled after Christ and the church; the church experiences the highest degree of satisfaction through a consummation (not sexually consummation in this case) that is felt to the lesser degree that is similar in feeling when a man and a woman consummate their relationship in marriage. So, while there are other reasons, there is more Scripture evidence to say yes that marriage is primarily for sex (why have commandments that tell us that fornication is a sin, abstaining from sex outside of marriage is wrong, if this isn't the case; God intends for a man and woman to be engaged in sexual relations regularly, in regards to self-control (1 Cor 7), unless their are reasons for them to not be (fasting, spiritual maturity, health reasons, etc). Otherwise, have it married folks!!!!
In a final note, consider the emotional, mental, and spiritual factions that exist with those who have sex outside of marriage? Enough said. With that, it sex in a marriage would be extremely powerful and enjoyable and blissful to keep two people together for the rest of their lives.
Excellent, Ninjaearth! Let me add to your good argument that Scripture has a word for sex before marriage - fornication - and that God decisively condemns it. It is translated as "sexual immorality" in some versions of the Bible:
Matthew 15:19
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies
2 Corinthians 12:21
lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many who have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, fornication, and lewdness which they have practiced.
Galatians 5:19
Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,
Ephesians 5:3
But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;
Colossians 3:5
Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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