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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/15/2008 8:20:05 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4383
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
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LOL sandy, you are fine in what you wrote :)
Ryanne- that's the thing, Michah may be at the maturity and place where he can put family and God first, my hubby is not.
Yeah Ruth-letting him sleep will be hard seeing as I still take naps and we have a timber framed house so you can hear EVERYTHING!
Arrrghhh
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that is a dolphin at our beach
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/15/2008 8:22:12 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4383
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
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Donna- your poor niece, I will pray your brother is changed in a good way by this experience!
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that is a dolphin at our beach
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/15/2008 8:26:29 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 4238
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
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My dad often worked night shift while I was growing up. Here are some positives about Dad being on the night shift:
~My dad was always available for dr appointments.
~He could always pick me up from school if I were sick.
~He had no problem finding time for helping me set up my first bank account and other stuff done only during banker's hours.
~We got to spend a lot of time together doing things in the sunshine like cutting wood or going fishing... a lot of good memories while other kids dads were either absent or at work.
I am not saying that it is necessarily ideal, but it doesn't have to be all awful.
_____________________________
Isaiah 40:29
He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/15/2008 9:04:58 PM
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paulsbride
Posts: 2224
Joined: 5/19/2005
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I am wondering something from Ruth and Ryanne's conversation over in the Baby Chat thread - I don't want a debate or really even opinions on who is right/wrong, etc. But what I'm wondering is if your husbands ever get picked on or teased or any sort of reaction from their co-workers for being the type of husband that they are?
Paul works with mostly single men, and those that are married either don't have their wives living around here, or the wives work long hours.
The guys at work go paint balling about once a week and do numerous other (money spending!) physical activities throughout the week too- all things that Paul by nature loves to do, but way more often than not he doesn't do stuff with the guys because he wants to come home to be with Judah and myself.
Don't get me wrong - he works out at the gym with the guys 2-5 times a week. He mountain bikes with whoever wants to go along with him once a week. He spends time with these dudes. But he still gets ribbed all the time about how I've "got him whipped" because he doesn't do most of the things they all do together, and he never goes out to the bars with them.
Paul doesn't get bothered by much, but he's told me it bugs me that the guys presume that because *he* isn't interested in spending most of his free time with them that *I* m a demanding/bossy/want-my-hubby-home type wife.
It kind of bothers me too that they think this, but it's kind of a whatever thing too - there isn't a whole lot I can do about it.
So do your husbands get picked on or anything for how they are as husbands?
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-Jessica-
<--- 25 weeks
MY BLOG
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/15/2008 9:17:47 PM
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LaurainAL
Posts: 1543
Joined: 8/13/2005
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I think the only thing that Shane get's ribbed about is our van. We bought it last year right before the baby was born. When I went back to work, I took the Accord back because I commute 30 miles and it gets much better gas mileage than the Odyssey. Some of his friends joked that I had put in the "grocery getter". It didn't seem to bother him at all. I find it very appealing that he cares little about that. His concerns are for our family and what is best for us.
As for the topic in the other thread: I don't care what culture you are in. The bible states that husbands are to love their wife as Christ loves the church.
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My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy! ~Thomas Jefferson
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/15/2008 9:22:02 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 2304
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: paulsbride
So do your husbands get picked on or anything for how they are as husbands?
No, my husband works with a lot of family men, so they understand. And his coworkers don't socialize much after hours, anyway. I'm sure it might be different for a singles environment, though.
My dad has been asked to join Promise Keepers, but he refused because he didn't want to go on the retreats without his wife. Dad travels so much already for his job, he feels he can serve the Lord just as well with his wife by his side (and he does, they volunteer together on the weekends).
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/15/2008 9:42:32 PM
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firefightermama
Posts: 1315
Joined: 10/24/2006
From: Canada
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quote:
ORIGINAL: paulsbride
I am wondering something from Ruth and Ryanne's conversation over in the Baby Chat thread - I don't want a debate or really even opinions on who is right/wrong, etc. But what I'm wondering is if your husbands ever get picked on or teased or any sort of reaction from their co-workers for being the type of husband that they are?
Paul works with mostly single men, and those that are married either don't have their wives living around here, or the wives work long hours.
The guys at work go paint balling about once a week and do numerous other (money spending!) physical activities throughout the week too- all things that Paul by nature loves to do, but way more often than not he doesn't do stuff with the guys because he wants to come home to be with Judah and myself.
Don't get me wrong - he works out at the gym with the guys 2-5 times a week. He mountain bikes with whoever wants to go along with him once a week. He spends time with these dudes. But he still gets ribbed all the time about how I've "got him whipped" because he doesn't do most of the things they all do together, and he never goes out to the bars with them.
Paul doesn't get bothered by much, but he's told me it bugs me that the guys presume that because *he* isn't interested in spending most of his free time with them that *I* m a demanding/bossy/want-my-hubby-home type wife.
It kind of bothers me too that they think this, but it's kind of a whatever thing too - there isn't a whole lot I can do about it.
So do your husbands get picked on or anything for how they are as husbands?
This is what hubby's old group of friends think of me...
Before we met, hubby was hanging around with quite the party crowd, which most of them still are. When we were dating, hubby totally turned around, and started making better choices, and living for God (started going back to church, and doing less partying)
These are things that he did on his own, I never demanded that he quit doing these things, there were no ultimatums...I just kept on with my life, and he became a wonderful family man.
I actually had the wife of one of his friends just lately tell me that I should "let" my hubby go hang out with his old friends, "just once a month" she said. It made me go 
Funny thing is, he loves being here with us. Since the baby, I have even seen him turn down lots of opportunities to go out, or get extra work, because he wants to spend time with his family. It warms my heart.
It does bug me that they all think that I don't "let" him do anything.
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~yolanda~
<-- Me and my baby boy :)
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/15/2008 10:09:11 PM
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firefightermama
Posts: 1315
Joined: 10/24/2006
From: Canada
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Sandy, I wanted to say more earlier, but had a wiggly one in my lap, and only one hand to type with.
I hope tomorrow is a better day, and will be thinking of you.
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~yolanda~
<-- Me and my baby boy :)
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/15/2008 11:14:31 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4383
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
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Thanks Ellie- Mae for a positive spin on the situation
As for hubby getting paid out... He gets picked on for his work ethic as I have just mentioned earlier, I don't think they give him a hard time about being a Christian (I don't know if they would even know he was a Christian....). His friends are all my friends hubby's so if anything they do sort of say that he does need to be home and enjoy the kids while he can. As for friends outside of our Christian friends I don't think they tease him about anything as they are all alot older than him so have "got" that their wives would like them home and kids are important.
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that is a dolphin at our beach
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/16/2008 12:38:10 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4884
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ellie-Mae
My dad often worked night shift while I was growing up. Here are some positives about Dad being on the night shift:
~My dad was always available for dr appointments.
~He could always pick me up from school if I were sick.
~He had no problem finding time for helping me set up my first bank account and other stuff done only during banker's hours.
~We got to spend a lot of time together doing things in the sunshine like cutting wood or going fishing... a lot of good memories while other kids dads were either absent or at work.
I am not saying that it is necessarily ideal, but it doesn't have to be all awful.
These are the things that I love about having Micah home.
Nicole, you just have to make the best of it, really. I *love* the days that Micah has off, we have found some wonderful old towns, taken drives in the mountains, gone to the zoo, hung out with his mom and just spent time being together. As much as I disliked it in the beginning, this time together has a been a huge blessing to our marriage.
quote:
But what I'm wondering is if your husbands ever get picked on or teased or any sort of reaction from their co-workers for being the type of husband that they are?
Micah has 2 coworkers he sees on a regular basis at Walgreen's, one is the overnight pharmacist who shares our same values and the other is the night clerk who says about 10 words a night to Micah, so no problems there. His boss at his daytime office job is a wonderful, fiscally conservative Atheist who has incredible family values but not much for what I would consider moral ones(he's very adamantly pro-choice).
However, he does have one friend who I refer to as Micah's "girlfriend" who can be a bit of a cling on and does not understand the concept of family time, or even driving sober. So Micah just limits his contact with said friend to about one or two games of pool per month. Everyone else he hangs out with we know from church and they are very, very supportive of our family time together.
So I guess I said all that to say that it's not really an issue for us  I'm feeling a big long winded, I suppose.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I got my tattoo!!! I am love it! The process was not nearly as painful as I psyched myself up for, which was a pleasant surprise.
I ended up going to a different place then we had planned, and ended up paying $40 more but I TOTALLY think it was worth the hassle. The first place gave me the icks and the artist who did my foot was clean to the point of being a germaphobe. Wonderful!
Anyway, it is the celtic knot that symbolizes "A Mother's Love". It's 2 hearts intertwined and never ending, much like our love for our children(sappy, I know).
The way you see it
The way I see it
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Ryanne Gabriella Alexis born 8-22-07!
"No firebrands, or deadly arrows just a Springfield XD .40 with Tritium sights" Patriotism
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/16/2008 12:59:45 AM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2237
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
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So cool, Ryanne!!!! I bet it looks fantastic with flip flops! Celtic knots are pretty nifty. I have a friend who can draw them really well.
Nobody give my hubby flack for not going out with them. His friends don't go out much. All his friends are all in our neighborhood, so he pops over for quick visits and vice versa. Hubby went on an overnight camping trip once with his buddy, which was fine. My friend was mad that I "let" Robert go because she was the kind who didn't want her hubby going anywhere ever, and her hubby wanted to go. When Robert did have friends who went out all the time, so did he. Drove me nuts, not only because we couldn't afford those hobbies, but because Timmy hardly even knew his dad. Hopefully the next place we move he'll make friends who don't go out much.
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-=|Christina|=-
MySpace
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House (blog)
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/16/2008 6:34:37 AM
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Georgia-Peach
Posts: 1949
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Georgia on my mind
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quote:
So do your husbands get picked on or anything for how they are as husbands?
We are blessed to be around a lot of family oriented people. My hubby works with a mix of married men and single, but he still never gets made fun of by the singles. The most I have heard him get teased about is not going out to lunch with all the guys, but this has nothing to do with me. It would add up if he did that everyday when we live such a short distance from his job. Plus, it is way healthier to eat a meal at your own house, usually.
Well, ladies I leave at 12 to drop Hunter off with the babysitter than I am heading to church to meet the other women for our retreat. We are all riding together so that will be fun. I am still really nervous about how it is going to be not seeing Hunter for over 24 hours. He is 16 months old and I have never spent a night away from my child. I know he is in good hands with daddy and I know that this is something I need as well. I hope my scrap booking class goes well because my stomach is in knots. I am looking forward to having a getaway with the girls and coming back rejuvenated.
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Chelle
<------- My Heart <3
"Friends are like bras: close to the heart and there for support."
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/16/2008 7:47:19 AM
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lexie
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From: Toronto
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My husband is a very quiet man, so often he doesn't talk to his co-workers much unless he knows them well.
His past two jobs he has worked with people who are just awful...guys who are married and have girlfriends, who don't take care of their children (and who have a bunch of chidren with different women). They have very little respect for women, and I they would tease Dh a little bit for having just one woman, but because Dh is so quiet he doesn't bother and they pretty much leave him alone.
In his current job people are very respectful of our family life, and most lead the same lives, even if they aren't in church.
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/16/2008 7:54:44 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10457
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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quote:
But what I'm wondering is if your husbands ever get picked on or teased or any sort of reaction from their co-workers for being the type of husband that they are?
Brian works with a bunch of "men" who are either single (most of them), divorced and never see their kids (a couple of them), or very unhappily married (one guy). They harass him all the time, and I hate it. I don't call him during the day unless I really need to, and I know his boss doesn't mind (he told me so), but usually when I call him, I have to listen to foul language and just disgusting things being screamed at the phone, so I can only imagine what he has to listen to. He has one guy regularly tell him he should leave because then he won't have to give me all of his money, only part of it (child/spousal support). Um...he doesn't GIVE me the money...he puts it in the account and I pay bills with it. Besides that, it's none of their business. They also regularly stay after work and get drunk at the shop. Several of them already have DWIs. I think deep down, they are a bunch of very unhappy people and they are jealous of the meaningful life Brian has. When one of them has a problem, he's the one they go to. He says he's there to be the silent light. He doesn't push God on them, but they see through his life that there is another way to live besides the way they are living, KWIM?
Sandy...on the top of your foot?? My sister just got a double heart one on the top of her foot. I'm such a baby. I couldn't take the pain. 
Chelle, have a wonderful time! I'm sure Hunter will have a great time with Daddy and then you'll be greeted with big hugs and kisses when you come home.
_____________________________
For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.
~Isaiah 44:3~
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/16/2008 8:02:29 AM
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LaurainAL
Posts: 1543
Joined: 8/13/2005
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I guess one of the benefits of being married to a pastor is not having to worry about the other men he works and associates with. That is something that I have taken for granted.
_____________________________
My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy! ~Thomas Jefferson
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/16/2008 8:18:54 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10457
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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Sandy, that doesn't sound snotty at all. It's definitely a different situation than most of our husbands have, and I'm glad that it doesn't really "matter" when they're all in Iraq, KWIM? I also bet that Justin has a TON of witnessing opportunities there that he might not get otherwise.
_____________________________
For I will pour water on the thirsty land,
and streams on the dry ground;
I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring,
and my blessing on your descendants.
~Isaiah 44:3~
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/16/2008 9:41:33 AM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4745
Joined: 4/12/2005
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Dh works in a liberal environment where most everyone is divorced or single and politics are the main thing done at work. If his company had any serious competition in their line of work, they would go under because they are the most unproductive company I have ever seen. Currently, they are riding the coattails of the last generations productivity.
He is a very product oriented person and it drives him nuts that he can't just go to work and work well... it has to all be about perception. That's his main frustration and hardship he has with coworkers. It's been a really hard 7 years for him and has recently gotten worse because of the boss under whom he's just been put. I don't know of any ribbing he takes about me. If he wants to hang out with them, he does. If he doesn't, it's his choice. He's never mentioned to me that they think I'm demanding. I'm sure some of them can't understand him putting me first, in the same way he comes home bewildered at their choices.
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-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/16/2008 4:09:04 PM
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soukz8696
Posts: 196
Joined: 2/25/2007
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Donna--
Thanks for asking about dd thought I would answer over here to keep that just for food stuff.
She is gonna be OK she is still in a lot of pain. This all came from a kick from the little girl next door. I mentioned earlier about the injury turns out the kick bruised her lung and caused blood to accumulate between her lung and her chest wall. I just also have to give a Praise the Lord when we got to the hospital on Tuesday they were saying there was a mass in her lung and they were saying the dreaded C word that no parent wants to hear. I had hubby make some calls and get some prayer chains going and on Thursday morning there was nothing in her lung and the blood was taking care of itself. This has been one of the most stressful weeks that I think we have had in a very long time.
Will be glad to get this week behind us and get our DFCS case closed.
Very cute tattoo. I am to much of a wimp to get anything like that.
_____________________________
Michelle
Living for HIS glory not my own
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is in Iraq 
I'm glad she's doing better now.