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Shaunii -> RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium (5/14/2008 7:36:29 PM)
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Hopefully this will be encouraging... anything time there is change, which is hard, when there is, and there will be, setbacks, people in it feel as though the change was false or temporary, etc. Truth is, gains though made, do have to be maintained and that takes hard work and diligence on both parts. Mind-reading, though done often, is not a "real gift" so while we are expecting the person to act/react as normal or as the new... either way we can't relax. Why? Because, if they react in the old pattern we tell ourselves they haven't really changed... when they react in the new way we won't allow ourselves to relax and think that the change is genuine. Also, before babies begin to crawl they begin to pull up on things and mom after mom think that their child is the most gifted ever and that this child will certainly walk before he crawls... but they never do... why? the muscles... they aren't strong enough to walk even though they are determined and really want to walk... really want to explore the unchartered territory... so instead ... they crawl... and then... one day begin trying to walk again... the muscles have gotten stronger through all of that painful crawling... their knees have gotten scraped, but learned to toughen... their arms begin to be able to carry that weight and their legs, seemingly never tire of crawling from to and fro at rapid speeds that adults if they attempt to crawl can only dream of... I dare you... any adult... try to crawl for any amount of time and see just how tiring and painful it is... we aren't designed to continue crawling... however, it is in the pain of the crawl.. the slowed down process of getting somewhere... that growth happens... gains are made... when the baby finally is ready to walk... you'll notice that it takes them a while... they keep falling, but they continue to get back up and try again... the muscles are getting stronger and learning how to walk and support them properly. Just as you and your hubby have been crawling realize that you have made gains. And when the enemy comes to try and rob you of what God has promised and shown you stand STRONG in the little... faithful over little first. It takes time so don't be discouraged...and you know why not? Because when that baby falls... he doesn't start over from scratch... he doesn't go all the way back to learning to crawl... instead... a new thing forms... faith and it gets stronger... because they keep trying and each time they start from where they fell (not at the beginning) and they get better and stronger... Be encouraged in your marriage Maggie, quick gains are lost quick as well. Gains that progress over time are habit forming and more likely to stick. Finally, in drug treatment programs do you know what is a part of the treatment? Setbacks, they know and prepare them for setbacks so that way when they happen they don't feel like failures, they don't feel like they'll never be delivered... they look at is as what it is... a setback. Couples fight and most often.... the person that you love the most and would protect is also the person that you feel most comfortable with to show your true (ugly) colors and they won't leave. Trust God's process and become aware of and focus on your journey... not the destination, you'll get there. God Bless [:)]
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