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[Poll]
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Baby/Toddler Chat (take 3)
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| I love shirts with saying on them!!! |
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| I don't mind shirts with sayings on them |
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| It depends on the saying on the shirt whether I like it or not |
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| I generally don't like or dislike shirts with sayings |
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| I dislike shirts with sayings of any kind on them |
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| I refuse to buy them for my kids, but will accept them as gifts |
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| We don't allow them to be worn even if they were given it by someone |
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| My favorite saying on a shirt is...______ |
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| My least favorite saying on a shirt is..._____ |
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| I have no opinion |
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Total Votes : 28
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(last vote on : 7/18/2008 2:29:32 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 3:26:42 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 5082
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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quote:
Sarah - you can pm me your response if you want... but, in your opinion, when do they change from baby to toddler so that you Can do that?
IMO, it's when they start to understand cause and effect, Gabby has two very different cries when she is in bed. "I'm peeved get me out NOW" or "I miss you and I need some snuggles" which can also be "I'm hungry/thirsty and need a bottle". I wouldn't leave her to CIO until she started her angry screaming.
ETA- sleep training advocates do not typically advocate starting until a baby is 9-12 months old. The only method I would use doesn't start until 12 months.
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 3:27:06 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10441
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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I'd say between 9-12 months is when MOST babies can be sleep-trained using CIO. But for some, like my Hannah, even then it was useless. Nothing but time would get her to a place where she could sleep on her own. She is 3 and 4 months and just this LAST week has been sleeping in her OWN bed consistently, without anyone laying down with her to get her to sleep. I still have to lay down with her at nap time or she won't sleep, but I don't mind...I've just gotten used to it.
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<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!! 
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 3:33:21 PM
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Brandy
Posts: 1843
Joined: 4/7/2005
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
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Ditto to putting request on CraigsList. There may be someone who wants to bless you!
Yay Ryanne for slings in the mail ;)
Janine, keep working on it in small amounts and you will get Mr. Man switched over, but it's going to take time. I wouldn't want to leave my mommy at naptime if I hadn't all this time. ya know?
Isabel sleeps anywhere we put her as long as she is very sleep or already asleep and swaddled. I realize this is a huge blessing and am hoping it doesn't mean something will change later on.
A dear friend of mine sent me THESE blankets in that set and a winter weight set. I cried. Those are what I wanted from day one and was about to ask Jer if I could splurge on them. They are DIVINE. I'm in love. I left her a voice mail all emotional and thankful and told her I owe her a free night of dog sitting for getting me exactly what I wanted. I think these may become my default baby shower gift.
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~Brandy
<--- Isabel Grace eating on Thanksgiving. Her first food.
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 3:37:07 PM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 9496
Status: offline
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quote:
Sarah - you can pm me your response if you want... but, in your opinion, when do they change from baby to toddler so that you Can do that?
like Donna said, it depends on the baby. Jack started asserting his aggression about 18mo....and that's when we started letting him scream/cry/whatever in the floor or in his bed...just not on our laps. The main reason we started was because he would physically hurt me...and I don't put up with that. He knew what he was doing too. He would climb up on my lap then kick me or try to head butt me. That is not what a baby screams/cries for....it is a totally toddler aggression. Believe me, when your child goes from the baby crying to the toddler pitching a fit, you will know....it is very different.
As far as when you CAN let them scream?....ugh....I hate the way you put that. I don't know if you meant it or not, but it seems like you are wanting someone to tell you an age so that at that age you can feel ok about letting him scream. Not saying that's what you mean, but that's how I read it to mean. Believe me, I do not feel good about letting Jack scream, even now....he is still pitching a fit here in his bed, and it breaks my heart every time I have to do this with him. I don't look at it as a "when can I..." I look at it as a "when will I have to..." and I try my best to not try to, however with some kids it is necessary. So far he is the strongest one of all of ours to break when it comes to aggression...maybe because he is a boy (Jake was nothing like him when he was little)...I don't know, but it is gut wrenching. Unfortunately, this is the first day that Paul is back to work and Jack has gotten into the habit of laying down with Paul for nap...so since he isn't here Jack is mad and nothing I do or don't do is going to get him over his being mad. He is basically going to have to wear himself out and go to sleep because I can't sooth him when he is like this.
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Proud to be...  
Be alert - the world needs more lerts.
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 4:02:02 PM
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Flintejae
Posts: 2610
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
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Brandy - They look Great! I had the hardest time figuring out what blankets to get for swaddling. In the end I gave up because I was so tired of buying stuff online and then once I got it - well, it didn't work.
Ryanne/Sarah: I can see why you felt that way, but I didn't mean it that way. I'm not counting the days down until CIO is an option, but I'm wondering when it WILL be because sometimes I think I'll have to use that option some day. I don't want to do it at a time that it could be harmful - thus my question. :) I realize some of you may think I'm a horrible witch to feel this... but I'm just trying to find my timing and figuring out what to do because I simply can't continue being his bed, his food - everything. Please hear me right. I Want to nurture my child. I want to feed him. I Want him to feel safe. However, I do NOT want to be stuck on the couch 24-7 because I'm afraid to move and wake him. I just can't hack that day after day after day. I'm not sure if I articulated that appropriately. If you disagree with that - I simply don't care. You can be super mom and be stuck on the couch 24-7 being his everything, but I just can't. I need his nap times to get stuff done - take a shower, clean, veg a little - anything but have a child on me constantly. It'll drive me back to work and putting Jadon in daycare if I am forced to do that. THANKFULLY this week has gone pretty good with his nap times in his own bed. I think he actually prefers it because he sleeps longer most of the time.
Speaking about crying. I'm STUNNED because Jadon is going on his THIRD hour in his bed. I just checked on him to make sure he's still breathing and he is. I hope this continues!
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- Janine
Jadon, 3/12/08. Thank You, Lord, for Your Amazing Miracles
Moo!
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 4:15:31 PM
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EmilyAnn
Posts: 1191
Joined: 12/18/2005
From: Thomasville, NC
Status: offline
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The longest I let David cry is the amount of time it takes me to pee. I put him in his bed in our room, go to the bathroom, and pee as fast as I can. It breaks my heart to hear him cry, even though it is less than 2 minutes. I wish I didn't have to, but if he is awake he wants to be held or he screams and some days he stays awake for 8 hours at a time. I can't go 8 hours without using the bathroom, and I can't hold him while I go, so he has to cry.
ETA: He also cries when I am getting his bottle warmed up at night. I can't do that one handed either. But I hold him, turn the water on to warm up, fill a cup with warm water, and don't put him down until I actually have to put the bottle together, so that takes less than a minute.
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Baby David is here!!
6-13-08
9 lbs. 8 oz.
20 3/4 in long
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 4:25:40 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 5082
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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Anyway, what I said in my lost post was...
You are complaining about Jadon not sleeping, and needing to be on you all the time while he is in bed sleeping. It's not nearly as dismal as it may seem. You CAN and WILL survive.
The first 8 weeks of Gabby's life I spent not only holding her the entire time she slept, but waking her every 2 hours to feed her because her reflux was so bad that she wasn't gaining weight. We survived, and so will you. It wasn't easy, and I am by no means super mom(although I do aspire to be Super Woman, that is a whole 'nother post) and I have my moments.
What I have learned, is that this isn't going to last for 20 years, it's only going to last for *maybe* 2 years. Once the baby stage is over we will be onto bigger and more challenging issues. Cherish this time with Jadon, and all those snuggles.
When he is awake put him in the bouncy seat and take a shower, do the dishes, etc... You don't have to spend every waking moment playing with him and interacting. Talking to him while you do the dishes will be plenty.
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 5:32:38 PM
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lilyofthefield
Posts: 1122
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: NC, USA
Status: offline
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Jae, your post made me laugh - not because I find your situation funny - just because I have been feeling the opposite today - wishing Caden was the kind of baby who could be happy if I just sat on the couch with him all day! It's not that I wish I was stuck on the couch all day, but it's just so hard to make him happy sometimes. He's never happy in one spot for very long (including being held). BTW, thanks for the encouragement. 
Emily, I would like that. I don't know how long we could be anywhere with my issues  , but I'd love to get together!
Prudent, thanks. I did go to the post office today, and then treated myself to Wendy's to help boost my mood. Your bit of wisdom made me feel better.
I'm selfishly asking anyone reading to just say a quick little prayer that I'll learn to relax about being a momma, and also that God will help with my family situation (I am trying not to think about raising Caden with no family around - I miss them so much  ). Thank ladies.
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Caden is here!
A boy is Truth with dirt on its face, Beauty with a cut on its finger, Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket. - Alan Beck
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 5:33:09 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3720
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrudentWife
Different strokes for different folks. Some moms love the infant car seat. I thought it was useless. Like I told Lily, I find shopping to get much easier as kids get older.
Very true, I loved it, I just learned to look around the car seat. And mine locked into the front part of any shopping cart, so it was pretty secure.
As far as crying... I can't remember for sure, but after 6 months we came to learn that he sometimes woke up and fussed for less then 5 minutes, then settled himself back down. Any more then 5 minutes we went back up.
We didn't let him go for longer then that until after a year, I believe. My memory is not entirely sharp on those sleepless nights. 
But once you have more then one, there has to be times when the older child must be dealt with first, and the infant will scream. I personally don't believe that 10 minutes of crying will permanently damage your child, but I don't advocate CIO for young babies, either.
After all, there are some infants that will cry for hours and hours, no matter how much their parents try to help them, and they turn out just fine. Doesn't mean you should let your kid cry for hours, if there is something you can do, and they are still quite young.
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 5:36:16 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 5082
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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quote:
As far as crying... I can't remember for sure, but after 6 months we came to learn that he sometimes woke up and fussed for less then 5 minutes, then settled himself back down. Any more then 5 minutes we went back up.
Oh, we have done that for several months. I figured that she wasn't waking up because she really needed anything, just waking up like an adult does. Five minutes of fussing doesn't bother me, but when it turns into real crying I can usually tell she won't go back to sleep.
I really think it's about knowing you baby, not just how old they are.
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 5:51:36 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3720
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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You're very right, Ryanne. There's no one formula for every baby or for every mom. All any of us can do is give our own personal convictions and experiences. Plenty of other moms may have entirely different convictions and very different experiences.
How old is your little lady, Ryanne?
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 5:59:04 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 5082
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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11 months!! We are already planning her birthday party next month. I can't believe how fast this year has flown!
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 6:49:43 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3720
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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That they are, except Nathan wasn't feeling well the day of his party, so he was either grumpy or completely disinterested. The reality didn't quite match the fantasy. Oh well, there's always next year.
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 6:50:58 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4093
Status: offline
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What are you planning for her bday Ryanne?
Lily- I hope you can settle into things and relax :)
Umm, I can't remember who it was but they were talking about 6 month old being grizzly, its that age, like Mamamilty said they want to explore but they can't they may not be crawling or getting on their knees. They also could be teething. Nath was teething for a few months before any sign of a tooth. Hang in there.
Jae- I feel for you, I feel the same way about things as you. I don't like to have a baby on me 24/7. I need a break, it sent me batty with Grace and I was depressed and it wasn't good. For my own mental health I had to get some space atleast for naps so I could rest. Have you tried what we suggested, putting Jadon on a blanket near you, in his bouncy chair etc while you need to get things done? It doesn't matter if he is whining a little, that's not the same as screaming. I don't let my kids scream, but if they are whining while I am finishing peeling potatoes then they can wait 5 mins til I am done. What about his stroller? Does he like to sit in that? Can you bring that in where you are. Its great that he is sleeping in his bed for naps, you do get some time out, so that's wonderful! Be grateful for that little bit of time you have for now until he is able to sleep in his bed at night etc. Its more than what I had the first 10 months with Grace!
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Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 7:03:57 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 3720
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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So, besides Nathan cracking his head at the coffee shop, I did have an interesting time. Turns out the owner is the oldest of two daughters, and for whatever reason, there's a 9 year gap between her and her sister.
The baby sister developed a mis-diagnosed allergy as a baby, and it wasn't fully cleared up till she was almost 2. But during the meantime, she had to undergo a lot of time in the hospital and any number of horrendous treatments. The father came from a large family of boys (Irish family), but after going through what he did with his baby, he got himself fixed. The baby is now a healthy teen, but even though it all ended by the time she was 2, she cannot stand anyone in a white coat; she can't step inside a hospital (even when her own mother was there for a month, she just couldn't do it), and she can't have her picture taken with a flash (it reminds her of certain procedures).
The older daughter swore she'd never have children after the trauma of watching her baby sister go through what she did. But.... we've been going there since Nathan was six months old. They all love him there, and the older daughter will even "babysit" while I am enjoying my food and drink. Nathan loves her and will hold out his arms to her. Her mom told me today that her elder daughter has started talking about the possibility of kids "because she wants a boy like Nathan". Now, being a small business owner, she has zero free time, and there are no guarantees about what kind of baby she will get.
It made me feel good, though. That maybe Nathan has helped her work through the trauma of her little sister. As a 10 year old, she would sit and watch her baby sister sleep, for fear that she would die in her sleep, and no one would be there with her. I pray that she has healed from that pain in her past.
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 7:19:02 PM
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nicole6598
Posts: 4093
Status: offline
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That is so sad Ruth! But what a blessing little Nathan and you are! I pray that she is healed too!!
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Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
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RE: Baby Chat (take 3) - 7/9/2008 8:24:06 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10441
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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Okay, so if I didn't have enough stress today... 
Power is back on, so I loaded the food back up and brought it home. While I was putting it away, our dumb dog broke off his lead and took off down the road. Brian went after the dog, to find a police officer had just seen him. Hannah took off down the road after Brian, but in all the chaos, no one saw her. So...then I looked out the window and see Hannah walking down the road with a state trooper.  Strangely enough, the officer was more concerned with the DOG than with the CHILD. I guess he saw her take off after Daddy and was just making sure she got home alright.
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<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!
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That terrified wail of a baby who thinks he's been abandoned in the dark, I just can't hack it. 
