RE: Baby Chat (take 3)

RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Baby/Toddler Chat (take 3)

I love shirts with saying on them!!!

0% (0)

I don't mind shirts with sayings on them

3% (1)

It depends on the saying on the shirt whether I like it or not

71% (20)

I generally don't like or dislike shirts with sayings

3% (1)

I dislike shirts with sayings of any kind on them

7% (2)

I refuse to buy them for my kids, but will accept them as gifts

3% (1)

We don't allow them to be worn even if they were given it by someone

3% (1)

My favorite saying on a shirt is...______

3% (1)

My least favorite saying on a shirt is..._____

0% (0)

I have no opinion

3% (1)

Total Votes : 28

(last vote on : 7/18/2008 2:29:32 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 10:25:29 AM)
quote: Ryanne - Did we already discuss AP somewhere? I feel like we did but can't remember and am interested in it.. trying to decide where we fall or will fall with things.. Oh, I don't know if we have talked about it... We are relatively AP although around here it's called "instinctual" or "intuitive" parenting. We do believe in spanking and negative punishment, obviously I didn't breastfeed, and cosleeping didn't work for us after the first couple months, but we're AP in almost every other way. No CIO, babywearing, baby led solids, etc... Janine, Jadon is being a normal baby. If I go by your description then Gabby is a high needs sleeper but ya know, we have learned in the past 11 months to just roll with the punches. Sometimes she needs to cry for a few minutes before she sleeps, sometimes she needs a bottle, sometimes she goes down fine. Sometimes she sleeps through the night, sometimes she wakes up once to eat, and SOMETIMES she wakes up at 1am ready and willing to play for several hours. Now, I could label her high needs and read books, OR I can accept that she is a baby who is growing and developing faster then our minds can ever comprehend and because of that, her sleep will be erratic. It is the nature of having a child, you cannot fit him in a box and compare him to other children.Yeah, it's frustrating. Especially at 1am when I've had an hour or two of sleep and she's wanting to play. But this is such a SMALL phase of our lives. It will last a couple of years at the most, and then we will be longing for the times when our babies wanted to nurse, cuddle or even scream themselves to sleep. It is not bad that he changes everyday, it's just his way of growing and developing. He is becoming his own little person.

peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 10:51:33 AM)
quote: Do you think 15 months is to old to start signing? with our first we didn't start til he was over 2yo....his speech was delayed and that was what saved us. By the time he was 3 he was in speech therapy and that is the first thing they said...that teaching him signs, even as late as we started, is what made it easier for him to start talking in time. So no, I do not think that is too old. HERE is a good site with the basics of the first signs there is also a book called "Baby's First Signs" that I would recommend some of the first ones I would start with are...... more eat drink no yes play start by just learning those signs yourself then using them when you say that word to your child...they will pick up on it pretty fast. Jae....I would take his changing as a good sign, not one that he is high maintenance. He is experimenting with fulfilling (or getting them fulfilled) his own needs....that's a GOOD sign. The only one of mine that didn't do that ended up later being diagnosed as autistic. Not sure if there is a connection there but there could be. Jadon isn't high maintenance....he is a normal baby trying to figure things out for himself. The key is to step in when he gets overwhelmed and teach him what he doesn't know already. and ditto what Ryanne said. He isn't "high needs"....he is just a baby being and doing what babies do....growing up and changing and trying to figure out his world.

Room2Grow -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 10:53:46 AM)
Jae- I don't think Ryanne was trying to contradict with her "reading books" comment, but I still stand by my firm recommendation that for YOU with YOUR personality that you need to read one of those books. If a pediatrician and nurse with 8 children have the same struggles you do and say it is part of who the baby is and NOT something the parent is doing wrong and give many helpful ways to cope/shape the child/encourage- I think that hearing what they have to say will empower you to do what you need to do for Jadon. With your history, you are sure to have more doubts than most, but rest assured, you are being a good mom! Now go get the book, seriously... Ryanne (just to clarify, I totally see your point for you, just think that Janine's mama needs are a bit different)

peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 10:58:39 AM)
oh yeah.....second set of signs I would recommend starting are these (esp with your son's age)... socks shoes pants/shorts shirt hat from there work in every day things you say or do just a little at a time...things like slide, walk, run, etc.

Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 11:00:19 AM)
Jennifer, I agree that if it will make her more confident, then she should read them(confidence is not usually one of my problems[8\|]). But it does not necessarily mean that Jadon is high needs. Otherwise I would have to label Gabby that way and while she has some "high needs" characteristics she is by no stretch of my imagination anything but a normal infant. Sometimes I find that it's more the mama who is high needs then the baby. (I do believe there ARE high needs babies, but most of the time our own ability to learn to roll with the punches would alleviate alot of the stress)

Room2Grow -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 11:12:24 AM)
Ryanne- I totally agree. Anna has a lot of high needs tendencies (sleeping, not taking a bottle, not being able to be away from me), but I was able to deal with them pretty well. I liked the book because it affirmed for me that I was right- I didn't mess her up, she came this way. Dh is not on board (he thinks it is our fault that she never took a bottle b/c we started too late...umm 3/4 weeks too late? Nope. Not being in the house when people tried to give them to her, etc.- she just wants me only!) Jadon may not be truly high needs, but with the tendencies, I think the things in that book will give Janine some peace about her mothering.

lilyofthefield -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 11:13:03 AM)
Speaking of sleeping... it was a rough night last night. I finally was able to sleep a few hours at 6am! Caden wakes himself up with his wild little arms. It seems that no matter how tightly I swaddle him, he gets those hands out and then he wakes himself up (by punching, scratching, knocking out his binky [8\|]). I even tried the velcro swaddle thing. I can't wait for him to have a little more control over his little hands. I love the sign language idea. My step-mom taught me a lot when I was little and I loved it. I think it will help so much with communication frustration.

peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 11:25:32 AM)
quote: Sometimes I find that it's more the mama who is high needs then the baby. hehehe....are you saying Jae is a high needs mama[8D][8D][8D] (btw Jae, that's ok to be that way). I have learned through my spectrum of kids that things aren't always as they seem with kids. Each is an individual and needs the consideration of that. As Donna said, even us experienced mom's have to go through our list of "have I tried this.... what about that....nope that wasn't it either". That's just the nature of dealing with another individual that can't adequately express their own needs/desires yet. I don't think labeling baby or mom as "high needs" really will accomplish much...but as Ryanne said, just be willing, able, and ready to roll with the punches. (I am not one that likes labels...but if I were to label my own kids after the fact then I would say we have had "high needs", " low needs" and "in between".....yet babies are still most importantly individuals with individual needs and personalities and quirks and loving characteristics.)

PrincessDonna -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 11:28:25 AM)
If I had had Hannah as my first baby...little miss must be held, wouldn't sleep in her own bed ever, had to eat every 90 minutes round the clock...I would have been overwhelmed. Sometimes I was anyway, but having dealt with two other kids, I knew that it was not anything I was doing or not doing that made her the way she was. And yes, at that point, I was more able to adapt to whatever she needed at the moment. Jae, I think that's what you need most at this point...the ability to just adapt and say it's okay that Jadon is the way he is TODAY, without worry about yesterday or tomorrow. Sometimes it's better to focus on the far-away future than the near future. Know that those traits that make Jadon the way he is are the very things God will use in him to make him a mighty man of God. Rejoice in that and ask God how you can best raise him up to use those things for the Kingdom of God.

Sideways -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 12:21:13 PM)
Isn't it harder when your later children are higher needs? I mean, I don't even think I'll nurse to sleep with this baby, even though it worked great with Nathan. I just won't have the time to fuss to much over a newborn if I'm trying to keep up with a 22 month old Nathan. Nathan will still a lot of discipline and structure and entertainment. I'm not gonna be able to rest on the couch for two hours while the baby sleeps on my chest, or spend 30 minutes doing the "pat and shush" routine. You women with more then one child constantly amaze me, and I mean that in the best possible way.

Mrs.X -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 12:31:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sideways Isn't it harder when your later children are higher needs? I mean, I don't even think I'll nurse to sleep with this baby, even though it worked great with Nathan. I just won't have the time to fuss to much over a newborn if I'm trying to keep up with a 22 month old Nathan. LOL, that was my biggest fear when I found out I was pregnant with Jimmy...."How will I supervise Timmy if I am rocking Jimmy to sleep?" Well, Jimmy just learned to nurse to sleep in a noisy living room, and Timmy learned to try to be quiet. If Jimmy doesn't go to sleep because of noise, I wait a half an hour and nurse him again. Luckily for me Jimmy was not as high needs as Timmy, and I also don't fight him to sleep like I did with Timmy. If Jimmy's not going to sleep, well then, too bad, he just has to stay awake and be cranky cause I don't have time and got another child to tend to. I kinda got into this mindset of being able to tune the other one out while I was taking care of the needs of one of them if there was nothing I could do. You do what you can when you can, and sometimes they just have to wait. It sounds kind of cold and heartless, but that's what I had to do.

Sideways -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 12:36:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mrs.X You do what you can when you can, and sometimes they just have to wait. It sounds kind of cold and heartless, but that's what I had to do. Hey, I totally think that mothers sometimes need to be cold and heartless in order to be a good parent. If we're to soft and mushy then we'd quickly go nuts and our children would walk all over us. Your post was very comforting, though. Thank you.[:)]

PrincessDonna -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 12:37:26 PM)
quote: Isn't it harder when your later children are higher needs? Yes and no. Harder because you can't focus solely on them and finding what works for them. Easier because hopefully by then, you've learned to relax a little bit. I will admit I was VERY thankful that Levi was such an easy baby, since Hannah was not quite two when he was born and still pretty high-maintenance.

PrincessDonna -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 12:43:37 PM)
quote: Hey, I totally think that mothers sometimes need to be cold and heartless in order to be a good parent. If we're to soft and mushy then we'd quickly go nuts and our children would walk all over us. I agree.[:D] I love my kids dearly, but there are times I have to lay down the law very sternly. Namby-pamby parenting in the Walmart aisles drives me batty...JUST SAY NO...you're the parent![;)]

BlessedMamaofmany -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 12:57:26 PM)
I agree with christina and donna. Same thing here. It was hardest when Wesley was born. Stephanie was SO high needs (and still is...) and Wes was NOT an easy baby. Having 2 kids so needy was tough. But I got rewarded for all that with Zay Zay. He's so easy! When he was a newborn, he would ALWAYS fall asleep at dinner, when it was noisiest. LOL Believe me Ruth, you'll do great. When God gives another little blessing, He doesn't just give you the baby, He also gives you the love, patience, strength and grace you need to parent that little one too. Sandy

Mrs.X -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 12:58:04 PM)
Thanks, Ruth. When I found out I was pregnant with Jimmy, I came on here kinda freaking out (Jimmy was a suprise) asking all the seasoned moms, but isn't it like double the difficulty having two babies, and most agreed that from zero to one is much harder than going from one to two. quote: ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna Namby-pamby parenting in the Walmart aisles drives me batty...JUST SAY NO...you're the parent![;)] Oh yeah, that drives me nuts. Most other parents in the store really don't mind if your child is throwing a fit because you told them no. Granted some tantrums can be avoided without giving in by trying to prevent them (by avoiding certain aisles), but sometimes you just gotta say no.

Sideways -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 1:06:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mrs.X Thanks, Ruth. When I found out I was pregnant with Jimmy, I came on here kinda freaking out (Jimmy was a suprise) asking all the seasoned moms, but isn't it like double the difficulty having two babies, and most agreed that from zero to one is much harder than going from one to two. Now, my SIL said that going from 1 to 2 was quadruple the work, not double. Her baby is the lowest needs baby I've ever seen, except she woke up a lot at night, but even SIL admits she's a totally easy baby during the day. But her little one is 10 months, and I think it's gotten a lot easier for her. It's kind of a good thing her that she gave up nursing early, because I think she survived those first 6 months on caffeine alone (and I did offer to babysit while she napped; she never took me up on it). But also with the "cold and heartless" deal; I think we need to remember that we're human beings with needs, too. Sure an infant often comes first, but I think a lot of women drive themselves to illness by never taking a moment for themselves, to eat a decent meal or get a little bit of rest.

manda59 -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 1:24:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sideways Now, my SIL said that going from 1 to 2 was quadruple the work, not double. I'd agree - I'd have said 3 or 4 times the work, and my dd was a very easy placid baby (and we left a 3 yr gap before trying for our second baby!). I reckon it's me that's "high needs" - I found it very hard to adapt to being unselfish with my time, my body, my energy, and probably still do, even now.

3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 2:07:52 PM)
quote: Oh, I don't know if we have talked about it... We are relatively AP although around here it's called "instinctual" or "intuitive" parenting. We do believe in spanking and negative punishment, obviously I didn't breastfeed, and cosleeping didn't work for us after the first couple months, but we're AP in almost every other way. No CIO, babywearing, baby led solids, etc... Ryanne, so much like us, except for nursing. Dedicated APers might go as far as to call us abusive because we spank. [&:] quote: Now, my SIL said that going from 1 to 2 was quadruple the work, not double. I didn't find that at all. It was going from two to three that really threw me.

BlessedMamaofmany -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 2:13:03 PM)
same here. I worried about the change from 1 to 2 much more...but it was tons easier than the change from 2 to 3. At least with 2, I could put one in each hand kwim? With 3, there's more kids than momma's hands... but..by the time 4 comes along...it's nuthin' LOL Sandy

3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 2:22:13 PM)
quote: I realize it's my 'fault' but I don't know how to change it. Janine... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's.Not.Your.Fault. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are not a bad mom (repeat 10x). Definately when you're dealing with an older baby (closer to a year) or a toddler, you can "train" them to be clingy, difficult sleepers, afraid of stuff. But he's not old enough for that and that's not what you have done. Some babies are more difficult than others. Some need more touch. Some need more mommy time. Some need more nursing. Some are just so inexplicably persnickity and unpleaseable that it's easy to imagine that they were not actually floating in amniotic fluid but in pickle juice! [8D] If anything, I have been more attached and needs-conscious with Biruk than with the other two, and he has been my easiest baby yet. I wasted so much time and energy stressing out about Asrat's neediness and inability to sleep, and I regret that now. [:(] Don't hold him or yourself to society's "regulations" about "good babies" ("good babies sleep through the night well before 3 months and love being alone in their beds") and "good mothers" ("good mothers get their babies on a proper schedule, never miss a nap, and never let their baby have anything but a smile on their face"). As you go along you will find out what he needs and what you need and learn to work it out.

Mrs.Wifey -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 2:25:18 PM)
Yeah, and a baby carrier can be indispensable for a baby who likes contact to nap. That is probably the thing I like most about AP'ing is the babywearing.

Flintejae -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 2:26:54 PM)
Thank you for all of your well thought out posts. We both appreciate your feedback (I read most of them to Jason.) I do lack confidence. That is definitely an issue. It's REALLY NICE to hear that this is normal. You ladies are always so good to help me gain a better perspective when I feel lost or overwhelmed. I appreciate it.

Brandy -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 2:33:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Flintejae Thank you for all of your well thought out posts. We both appreciate your feedback (I read most of them to Jason.) I do lack confidence. That is definitely an issue. It's REALLY NICE to hear that this is normal. You ladies are always so good to help me gain a better perspective when I feel lost or overwhelmed. I appreciate it. [sm=hug.gif]

Brandy -> RE: Baby Chat (take 3) (7/7/2008 2:35:29 PM)
now i understand sarahs smiley posts. babe in hand make typing hard

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