9yo sleeps with loud music (Full Version)

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lflemin4 -> 9yo sleeps with loud music (4/30/2008 9:21:23 AM)

One thing that really irks me is that my new hubby allows my 9yo stepdaughter to sleep with music playing fairly loud in her room all night long. I don't have an objection to her wanting to fall asleep listening to music. But she is able to set her CD player to repeat, so that it plays all night long. I worry that this interferes with her sleep. Hubby is the type of person who thinks sleep is a waste of time anyway. He's a photoshop enthusiast, and likes to edit photos. He'd stay up all night working on stuff if he could. And because he's that way, he doesn't think that his daughter's music playing does her any harm. Whenever I complain about it, he just says, "Well, if you want to turn her music off, go turn it off." [:@]Does anyone see this as a problem too, or am I overreacting??



csl7037 -> RE: 9yo sleeps with loud music (4/30/2008 10:21:37 AM)

I'm a big believer in sleep - especially for kids! And I think the research would back me up and support your point. And as the wife of someone allowed to fall asleep to TV growing up, think of your future son-in-law. It's a horrible habit to get into, I think it does affect sleep, and I will not allow TVs in my kids rooms and, no, wouldn't let them keep music on all night. I had a noisy roommate in college - she would come in at ridiculous hours and even when she did sleep she snored like you wouldn't believe!! I slept with my litte walkman (in the old days) but not all night long.

Is her radio or whatever something that can be set to play for 30-45 minutes and turn itself off? I'd insist she did that, at least. It's still a bad habit (like my dh keeping me awake because he has to have TV to fall asleep) but it's better than all night long!



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: 9yo sleeps with loud music (4/30/2008 10:57:11 AM)

quote:

Does anyone see this as a problem too, or am I overreacting??

Yes I see it as a problem (the sleep part...she does need sleep without the music, that is pretty well proven).
and Yes I think you are overreacting (maybe a bit)....at least to the whole idea of making this a thing to fight over. Your hubby has already said that if you have a problem then go turn it off....so I would just do that. Can the 9yo do that herself? sure....but that doesn't mean that she has to be the one to change just because you want her to. Our 8yo is the same way....he likes his music on at night. So when I go to bed, when I am checking all the kids to make sure they are in bed and have blankets, etc, I flip his music off. Sure he could do it himself (and eventually I am sure he will get that his hands can flip that switch too), but for now I choose to not make it a fight...I will just do it myself.



lflemin4 -> RE: 9yo sleeps with loud music (4/30/2008 10:58:46 AM)

I guess what irritates me most, is as the stepmom, I don't feel it's my place to try to enforce something unless he is going to back me up on it. And I'm not really sure how to proceed. I don't want to nag him about it, yet I don't want to set myself up as the evil stepmom [sm=icon_smile_evil.gif] who won't allow her to do something that her dad thinks is okay.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: 9yo sleeps with loud music (4/30/2008 11:01:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lflemin4

I guess what irritates me most, is as the stepmom, I don't feel it's my place to try to enforce something unless he is going to back me up on it. And I'm not really sure how to proceed. I don't want to nag him about it, yet I don't want to set myself up as the evil stepmom [sm=icon_smile_evil.gif] who won't allow her to do something that her dad thinks is okay.

that to me has nothing to do with the music itself though....and that should be something you two sit down and talk about together and come to a unified conclusion on. There may be times that you aren't comfortable with his decisions...and vice versa....but communicating and coming to agreement is the key in any marriage on many fronts, not just about kids and what to do or not do in certain situations. My husband and I parent totally different on many levels....yet we are still a unified front because we talk about things and figure out what are the things that each of us want to make big deals out of, and we stand behind each other on those things.



NotDoneYet -> RE: 9yo sleeps with loud music (4/30/2008 8:06:41 PM)

Is this "battle" really worth fighting? To this day I can't sleep if it's completely quiet. I have to have either the TV on or the ceiling fan on...some sort of noise. If it goes off, I wake up...
Some people just have strange sleeping habits...

NDY



Brandy -> RE: 9yo sleeps with loud music (4/30/2008 8:42:56 PM)

Does the music bother her at all? Is it the loudness that bothers you?

What exactly bothers you about it? I'm not sure why music all night is a problem for you. And it's certainly not worth upsetting the balance of your marraige over.

I grew up with the radio playing all night long. It was too much stimulation for my husband so we switched me over to a fan. It has to be on high but it works. My brain needs something else in the background so it can properly shut down.

She may grow out of the need or it may change.

Have you talked to her about it?

As a step parent you do have to tread carefully. Anything my stepdad initiated with me I protested and did not like. But they learned to have my mom do it and I didn't mind. Go figure.

I do agree you and husband should present a unified front. So if that means she has no problems with the music and he doesn't either, than maybe you need to re-eval and choose to not have a problem so as to be at peace in the house?



Brandy -> RE: 9yo sleeps with loud music (4/30/2008 8:44:01 PM)

I need/meant to add..

If anyone turned off my music or turned it down I was awake within seconds.

Still wake up if fan changes, power goes out or a cat knocks over. BAM I'm up.

It's a brain thing for me totally.



hawknelsonismyfriend -> RE: 9yo sleeps with loud music (5/1/2008 12:19:45 PM)

I always have to fall asleep to my ipod. get headphones for the stereo.



tombombadil -> RE: 9yo sleeps with loud music (5/3/2008 7:22:34 AM)

It is his daughter he is the one to decide what is right and wrong for her.



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