Little Ones and Their Fears (Full Version)

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Sideways -> Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 6:40:32 PM)

Does anyone else have a little one with an odd fear of something? My son is 13 months now, and apparently he's become terrified of fish.... yes, I said fish. I have no idea why.

We sometimes take him into pet stores just to look at the animals. He loves cats and dogs (even the really big dogs), but we started to notice him getting very nervous around fish. My dH does not like the idea of his son developing a phobia, so today we took him into a fish specialty shop, one with lots of big, exotic fish. He's been in there before, but today he started shaking his head wildly, clinging tight to dad and even shivering. dH responded by backing up, but not leaving the store and trying to give him lots of reassurance. Now, dH tells me to take Nathan into the fish store whenever I'm in the area to acclimate him.

Does anyone else have any strange fears they've dealt with, especially in a pre-verbal child?



PrincessDonna -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 6:51:08 PM)

At that age, I'd just let it go for now. He'll be easier to reason with in a year or two and may even be totally over it by then. You could also try putting in a fish movie like Finding Nemo and see if that helps. If not, I'd just leave it alone for now.

Are you sure it is fish he is afraid of, or is it water? How does he do with bath time?



manda59 -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 7:04:27 PM)

I agree with Donna about letting it go and not forcing it. If he were older (2 or 3), I'd probably be a little more pushy, but not at 13 months.

My ds had a weird fear at that age - of things that hung, whether it was a swing, or whether it was shelves in shops that were hanging on chains suspended from the ceiling. He'd point, shake and then burst into tears.

I didn't push it, and it passed.

Sideways, what I would suggest, if he is ok with bathtime, is buying some plastic fish for him to play with in the bath. When you get them out for him to play with, you can say "hallo fish" and then "bye bye fish" when it's time for them to be put away. I agree with Donna's suggestion too about watching Finding Nemo.

If I were you, I wouldn't avoid shops with fish entirely, but I wouldn't delberately take him there either.

Is it possible that it's the water tanks that he's afraid of? ie that the water is at eye level or above, as opposed to the actual fish?



1love1God1way -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 7:24:27 PM)

He probably got that fear from watching Finding Nemo. *shudders*



PrincessDonna -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 7:25:49 PM)

LOL...I love that movie!



manda59 -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 7:49:04 PM)

Sideways,

What's he like at the fresh fish counter of your supermarket?



Sideways -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 8:04:17 PM)

He loves bath time, does extremely well with it. In fact, my mum and I are talking about getting a kiddie pool once the temperature breaks 80 deg F (any day now). I haven't noticed any reaction to fish at the grocery store. dH thinks that maybe he's freaked out by animals that don't move like land-based animals (but he does love birds).

We've shown him tanks of water that don't have any fish, and that didn't seem to bother him as much. What did seem to help a little was dH holding Nathan at a distance, but looking at me standing right next to the large tanks, pretending to stroke the fish. He seemed to relax a little at that.

I like the idea of fish bath toys; I'll definitely look around at a few stores for that. I could try Nemo, but he's shown very little interest in television, unless he's very tired and resting on my lap.

I had a severe phobia of snakes growing up, and it has lessened somewhat with time, but I still get unnerved by my niece's plastic snake. I just don't want Nathan to be crippled with a silly fear like me.



manda59 -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 8:17:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways
but I still get unnerved by my niece's plastic snake.


hahahahahahaha! Sorry, but that just totally cracked me up. [:D]

(just don't show me any plastic spiders though [;)] )



IAMJulie -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 8:28:21 PM)

Whatever it is that is upsetting him can be worked on over time. He's still quite young. At that age my DS had a tremendous fear of messes, anything messy. We didn't know what it was at that point but we figured it out after a while. Once before we knew we bought him a JoJo's Circus video for Christmas because he loved the show so much. It had a pie throwing machine on it that goes a bit crazy and makes a huge mess. We let him watch it and he started screaming in terror and was visibly shaking, he clung to me like a monkey and wouldn't let go. That was around 3 years ago and he still talks about how he doesn't like the pie machine though at this point he will watch it without too much trepidation. Another time we were at a party and he saw my sister get a smear of frosting on her pants, he turned white, his eyes got huge and took a step back away from her (his totally favorite person), I thought he might pass out. If his cup got messy at meals he would curl his hands into fists and pick it up with his knuckles instead of his palms. I could go on and on. But once we figured it out we were able to reassure him and help him get over being irrational about it. I believe that he will always prefer things of a cleaner nature because of his personality (which is good because his sister more than makes up for him in messiness) but at least he's not afraid anymore.



kohls356 -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 8:45:25 PM)

I wouldn't worry about it or push anything at this age. My oldest didn't seem to have any fears that I can remember. My middle was afraid of mice, pictures of mice etc. We took her to Chuck E Cheese for her third birthday and that is when we realized she was afraid of mice. She was fine as long as she wasn't near Chuck E. My husbands grandmother had made her a quilt and it had a mice on it and she wanted nothing to do with it. She outgrew it.

My youngest, believe it or not, was afraid of the moon. There was a big full moon one night and I told her to look at the moon and she was afraid. So we just kept the blinds closed at night so she couldn't see the moon. She is not afraid of the moon anymore.



zoebob -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 8:46:46 PM)

quote:

My youngest, believe it or not, was afraid of the moon. There was a big full moon one night and I told her to look at the moon and she was afraid. So we just kept the blinds closed at night so she couldn't see the moon. She is not afraid of the moon anymore.


My middle one loved the moon. If we were driving and turned so she couldn't se the moon anymor she would cry and be so upset.



kohls356 -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 8:51:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: zoebob

quote:

My youngest, believe it or not, was afraid of the moon. There was a big full moon one night and I told her to look at the moon and she was afraid. So we just kept the blinds closed at night so she couldn't see the moon. She is not afraid of the moon anymore.


My middle one loved the moon. If we were driving and turned so she couldn't se the moon anymor she would cry and be so upset.


That is funny because we had to make sure she didn't see the moon and for sure didn't say anything about it. I don't think she was afraid of it for very long. She laughs now when we tell her she was afraid of the moon.



zoebob -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 8:52:28 PM)

I've known a few toddlers who were afraid dof grass.



manda59 -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/26/2008 9:46:03 PM)

Found out when my son was a toddler that he didn't like wet sand under his feet. We lived near the sea and would often go down to the beach, but one day I thought we could all go for a paddle, and took off his shoes ............. to wails, screams, shaking - all because he didn't like the feeling.

So, from then on he wore his canvas shoes on the beach - never ever took them off. Till one day, when he was 4 or 5, we went to the beach and he just took them off as if that was what he always did, lol.



IAMJulie -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/27/2008 2:38:05 AM)

Yeah, my little guy - afraid of grass and sand, and anything else that felt "funny". If he was outside and fell he would not use his hands to try to catch himself, he'd just let himself splat on the ground while he held his hands up in the air. Went to the beach on vacation two summers ago and he screamed anytime we tried to get him to leave his towel or build sand castles. He sat there and read a book. No kidding.

Had he not been extremely social AND showed signs of getting over these things eventually we would have had him tested for some sort of sensory disorder.



Consecrated2God -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/27/2008 7:45:24 AM)

I remember one of my kids being afraid of snow. We had to carry her to the car whenever we went somewhere in the winter, because she would not walk in it.

Another girl had a fear of cats, and one of my sisters used to be terrified of butterflies. I also had a child that was afraid she was going to go down the drain. If you pulled the plug while she was in the bathtub, she'd throw out all her toys as fast as she could, and then hop out. I thought it was kind of funny that she thought of her toys' safety before her own. [:)]

My 3-year old is afraid of people speaking languages he doesn't understand. He thinks they are being mean.

I agree with the others that it's not good to make them face their fears at such a young age. They'll probably grow out of it.



Sideways -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (4/27/2008 8:30:23 AM)

Thank you guys. I have brought up your comments to dH, and he agrees not to force the issue. We will pick up some fish bath toys and maybe some DVD's with fish (like Nemo), but we won't make a huge deal of making him deal with real live fish.

Although, this may put a damper on my hopes to meet up with some other CW ladies for a trip to the Atlanta aquarium. [&:] There's a HUGE wall-sized tank of the most amazing tropical fish. I'm not sure my boy would appreciate the beauty at this point. [:o]



my2kidzz -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (5/8/2008 2:02:39 PM)

When my daughter was that age she was scared of the grass. I could not sit her down outside to play on the grass. But now she is 3 years old and loves to play outside on the grass. So just wait, he will get over it most likely.



pbaribeault -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (5/8/2008 5:07:42 PM)

Nemo has some very intense parts -- not the best for a child that is already nervous. I'd say pre-view it and decide when to fast-forward the scary parts.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (5/8/2008 5:12:34 PM)

At that age, he probably won't watch most of it anyway. But yeah...previewing is always good with little ones.[:D]

Ruth, has he been around any fish since you asked here? Did you find some fishy bath toys?



paulsbride -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (5/8/2008 5:15:01 PM)

quote:

Although, this may put a damper on my hopes to meet up with some other CW ladies for a trip to the Atlanta aquarium. There's a HUGE wall-sized tank of the most amazing tropical fish. I'm not sure my boy would appreciate the beauty at this point.


[8D]

I wonder where their fears come from?
Judah is scared of our blender. He loves the vacuum and all other loud noise making things, but cries his little heart out when the blender is turned on (and immediately stops crying when the blender stops.) He can be in another part of the house with one of us and if the other one starts the blender in the kitchen he goes running, looks at it, and bursts into tears [8|]



Sideways -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (5/8/2008 9:58:33 PM)

I've seen Nemo, though I haven't purchased it yet for our home. Nathan's attention span for TV lasts all of 2 minutes on a normal day, though a bunch of pebbles can keep him quite entertained. [8D]

Haven't gotten those bath toys yet... man I'm slackin'.

What I did do was find some baby board books with pictures of fish in them. I show the pictures to Nathan and ask him where the fish are. He points right to them with a smile on his face. I give him lots of praise when he points to the fish.

We have taken him back to the pets store, and he's okay with tiny fish. He still gets nervous around the really large fish, though. But again at the pets store I'll ask him "Nathan, where are the fish?" And he points and gets lots of praise. So that seems good.



Karaboo2 -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (5/8/2008 10:28:02 PM)

You mentioned getting a kiddie pool this summer ... what about getting one with the cartoon fish pattern??



thisistheday -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (5/8/2008 11:46:09 PM)

When my kids were that age I loved to teach them "what fish do." I'd move my lips imitating a fish and they'd catch on pretty quickly how to do it themselves. It was very cute. Maybe just another positive fish association.

Dee



Sideways -> RE: Little Ones and Their Fears (5/9/2008 10:43:44 PM)

I couldn't find a kiddie pool with fish patterns, not easily anyways. But I did get some fish bath toys and Nemo. Nathan seemed to like Nemo, for all of about 5 minutes. Otherwise, he doesn't care much for TV, which is probably for the best.

Large fish still seem to overwhelm him, but I'm sure he'll get better.



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