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bzirk -> RE: Who should concede in this family conflict? (5/12/2008 3:07:40 PM)
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ORIGINAL: doinkdom
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ORIGINAL: covenant2
Both my husband and I want the very best relationship that is possible with our son and DIL but Jesus does not ask us to tolerate certain behavior that is over-the-top unless it is for the sake of the gospel - this isn't. In the meantime, we will pray that the Holy Spirit softens their hearts and that they will begin behaving like the Christians they claim to be. Forgiveness is a given when people ask for it. Just a few verses down from the above verses in Mt 18:21-22 Peter asks the question; "...how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Until seven times? Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, Until seven times; but, Until seventy times seven. However, even if that person does not ask for forgiveness, we are still to forgive in our hearts in order to prevent resentment and retaliation. I think we have done that.
I agree, people do not have to ask for our forgiveness in order for us to forgive - as answered by the second bolded scripture verse.
I wanted to give you some encouragement in the area of Forgiveness and I think that by reading this particular blog posting that lists the responses of many of our current church leaders about forgiveness should do that. It's not very long and there are exerpts from men like John Piper and so forth.
As Christians, we are not responsible for the sins of others. But we are responsible for how we respond to being sinned against.
I know you desire resolution and restoration. But until your DIL is ready to confront the issue, there is very little you can physically do, but I don't think you should shake the dust off your sandals just yet. God has His own timing for a reason - I personally don't always like that, but I trust that He knows what is best for me.
Perhaps this is a season where you and your husband just draw closer to God and allow Him to minister to your hearts.
What's wonderful about these situations is they are a golden opportunity for the Lord to teach us what He really means by accountability (both in holding others accountable as well as being accountable to Him). I use the word 'wonderful' intentionally even though schisms in families hurt like none other. Without getting into the details, I speak from experience about the pain of being at odds with family. It's horrible to be at odds with the very ones with whom we should have the closest relationship.
On a related note, I have recently gone through a time of conflict with a coworker who is a Christian, and I have been mad enough to chew nails. But the Lord has been faithful to remind me of what I needed to remember. I was driving away from a meeting with this individual, and I was complaining to the Lord about how unfair things were, and the Lord showed me how I could hold the person accountable and be forgiving at the same time. He gently reminded me of Matthew 18:21-35, which interestingly enough comes after 18:15-20. [8D] The point being that the entire text needs to be considered when desiring wisdom about such situations.
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