Women's Engagement Support Thread (Full Version)

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Mrs.Above_All -> Women's Engagement Support Thread (4/18/2008 8:55:45 PM)

I think this is a much better place to have this thread, being that the wedding thread is here as well...

There are several of us getting married this year (and perhaps the next) and I think it would be all great for us to share our engagement experiences. Nothing too organized. Let's just share as we go. And for those who don't know yet there is also a wedding 2008 thread in the women's folder. [:)]

So chat away! How are your engagement experiences goin?

BTW, marrieds and single are also welcome to post. You may very well have a gem of something to say! [;)]



nevaehs_gaze -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (4/19/2008 10:21:47 AM)

Hi there! Our experience has been a bit frustrating seeing how we've been engaged for almost 5 weeks, plan on getting married this summer, and still do not have a set date yet. [&:] We are waiting to see what unfolds with the Japan opportunity before getting into too much. They want to have an interview with us soon. [:)]



Mrs.Above_All -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (4/21/2008 4:08:34 PM)

I'm so excited about the possibility of G-d taking you to Japan NG! It must be so fun to start off marriage like that. Very adventurous indeed! If the Japan thing comes through, maybe you could have a Japanese theme be a part of your wedding? Hey that's another thread. lol

As for John and I, we'd like to get back to focusing more into our marriage preparations and not just our wedding preparations. We are having dinner with my parents tonight to let them know what we are planning after the wedding. We decided that we wanna stay with them only for a short time and then move out on our own by renting. At first we were going to stay with them for at least a year first. While our new decision won't allow us to save as much for a longer period of time, a marriage alone will be best for us. We just have to trust G-d completely and be sure we both are good stewards of our finances. Hawaii is expensive but G-d is no less gracious. [:)]



nevaehs_gaze -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (4/21/2008 10:38:43 PM)

We're sooo excited! Every day there seems to be more and more confirmation that we're supposed to go there - sometime mid-July? They need a teacher in August and another in September. We had been praying that if God wanted us to go, that he would provide both of us with jobs so there would be no lack in income (initially, we were told there would be a 7-month time period between open positions). With things happening so quickly, I'm sure we'll be married before we know it! Even knowing at the latest we'll have to wait until August, it can't come soon enough. We might not have a spectacular wedding, but at least we can count on our friends and family being there. [:)]

We have considered a Japanese theme for the wedding, however, he is pretty set on having a board game theme. I think it's cute and everyone will certainly have a lot of fun! You're right though, if we end up leaving, we'll definitely have to incorporate that somehow. We are having two receptions, one here and one where we are getting married - so we do have the option of doing both themes! That could be pricey though... I'm sure we'd work it in somehow. [;)] I've wished for several years that my parents lived nearby so I could live with them again and save money, but that would never happen. Chicago is too busy for my folks, and I'm too "city" for their rural living, lol.



fluffmonkey -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (4/22/2008 12:46:09 AM)

Trish, I bought this book awhile back for engaged couples, about preparing for marriage and I think we, will start reading it and prepare us in learning and growing togther

NG, It is amazing how God works ^_^ I think you both have a wonderful oppertunity ahead. I think its awesome that your going to have a bored game theme wedding, reminds me of cake I seen done for a wedding, it was of a rubix cube lol

When I first got engaged I was looking at ideas, went to a wedding festival... but at same time we still have not set a date... we did want to get married in July but as time has passed and still no date set, so we arent really focusing on the wedding atm we have looked at houses, trying to get things set up before we get married... trying to save money and Im still trying to find a full time job. So right now we are just trusting God to help us know when it is right time for us, while we just enjoy being engaged lol



Mrs.Above_All -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (4/28/2008 2:56:38 PM)

So here's a question to pose...

What are some the biggest things you are learning about yourself during your time of engagement?

For me, I would have to say that I am learning just how self centered I can be. We don't really think about it sometimes because we love our fiances and want to give our all to them. But the adjustment from doing everything for yourself and then learning to share brings out a lot of self centeredness. Marriage matures you. It is also a wonderful opportunity to mature in the L-rd. Not everyone matures spiritually when they get married because they lack to focus on G-d in their marriage.



fluffmonkey -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (4/29/2008 1:23:33 AM)

I have and still am learning to change my way of thinking to Our way thinking, what would be best for us...instead of me.
I am also trying not to be selfish but considerate.



Mrs.Above_All -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (4/29/2008 3:02:27 AM)

One thing I think we gotta make sure is not to assume that our mate is doing something because they don't care. We are creatures of habit. If John for example keeps leaving his dishes around that doesn't mean he is deliberately being uncaring or inconsiderate. He just needs to learn to break a bad habit. lol I think women have a tendency to take things more personally. If I left dishes around, I would later feel bad for being inconsiderate when really it's just a bad habit.

So how can we learn to make these changes? lol



fluffmonkey -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (4/29/2008 2:11:36 PM)

quote:

One thing I think we gotta make sure is not to assume that our mate is doing something because they don't care.
Indeed, and sometimes its hard not to but we got to remember this.

Yes breaking bad habbits can be tough but it has been said it takes 30 days to break a habbit

I think the best thing would be to first discuss how you want to have things done around house and make comprimises where needed.
Sometimes it may be hard to start doing somethings but also some times just a gentle reminder to him can be helpful when he is not used to doing certain things, but not to be fussy about it... otherwise they just think " Nag, nag, nag"



dawntreader -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (4/29/2008 11:37:26 PM)

Learning to compromise is definitely something we've had to figure out. And learning how to communicate really well in general has been the biggest thing for us to learn, I think. In our pre-marital counseling our pastor taught us about 'assertive communication' and 'active listening' and that has really made us more aware of what we say to each other and how we say it. That depth of communication has really strengthened our relationship.



nevaehs_gaze -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (5/1/2008 8:36:17 PM)

quote:

But the adjustment from doing everything for yourself and then learning to share brings out a lot of self centeredness.


I agree. This has been difficult for me too! I've lived on my own for the past two years, have lived away from home for eight, and my fiance and I were in a long-distance relationship up until one month ago... so a LOT of things are changing and it is definitely something I have to work on re-training my mind - that is to think more unselfishly, and consider making OUR life together and not just making two separate lives work.



nevaehs_gaze -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (5/1/2008 8:41:24 PM)

So you gals know, we have finally set a REAL date - June 28th! The church is booked and we're waiting for confirmation on the reception hall (at another church). And we're hoping to know soon whether or not we'll have to be buying plane tickets to Japan in the coming weeks! It's all happening so quickly! We're having two showers over Memorial Day weekend, and the following day we'll be picking up our marriage license! I wish he was around more to help with the wedding plans... but I know he is working hard to save money for us.



fluffmonkey -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (5/2/2008 10:48:06 AM)

Congrats Nevaeh_gaze!!! I am so happy for you. I am glad yall were finally able to set a date, now you can get into all the planning...Dont worry to much though, everything seems to be falling into place.



betterisoneday -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (5/2/2008 8:41:57 PM)

I'll jump in if I may. Getting married 13 September if we can get everything for that date. And just got my dress today [:D]

One thing I'm learning being engaged is just how much I distrust people in general and men especially. This is because of abuse by my ex-husband and I'm slowly learning to not get anxious and fear that my fiance will lose his temper or leave every time we need to discuss our expectations of the future. And he's slowly learning to be really patient with me. [:)]

Right now we're reading through all the laws since I'm stationed 2,000 miles away, at least our home state lets you use a license the same day you get it.



fluffmonkey -> RE: Women's Engagement Support Thread (5/3/2008 10:28:21 AM)

Congratulations betterisoneday!

We also have Wedding Thread were talking things wedding related so Join us in their too ^_^



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