Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (Full Version)

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Sunnymom -> Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/18/2008 10:06:31 AM)

quote:

Peanut Butter and Deadly Taunts
A Combination of Bullying and Peanut Allergies May Put Some Kids in the ER
By LAUREN COX
ABC News Medical Unit
April 17, 2008

Late last spring, 14-year-old Sarah VanEssendelft of Mastic, N.Y., experienced bullying worthy of a teen movie.

“There was a group of five girls … and they decided they didn’t want me sitting at their lunch table anymore,” said VanEssendelft. To get her to leave, they all brought in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

For VanEssendelft, it might as well have been arsenic.

Two weeks later, a boy in the back of her class opened up a peanut butter cup. The smell was enough to trigger VanEssendelft’s peanut allergy and send her to the emergency room with breathing problems.

“My throat felt tight and my lips were getting really swollen, really fast,” said VanEssendelft. “I looked like Angelina Jolie.”

On the one hand, mean tricks or sneaking candy looks like mild behavioral problems to school administrators. On the other hand, given VanEssendelft’s serious peanut allergy, those sandwiches might very well have been weapons.

…”They said, ‘oh, you just want attention, there’s no way you can be allergic to the smell, this isn’t true,’” said VanEssendelft. The five girls then held a meeting in the bathroom.

Luckily, VanEssendelft got wind of the secret conference when one girl pulled her out of class to warn her.

“She said, ‘You can’t come to lunch tomorrow … because they’re going to have a peanut party with everything peanut they can find, to watch your face blow up,’” VanEssendelft recounted.


I am having one of those "What is this world coming to?" moments.



stellaluna -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/18/2008 11:20:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnymom
“My throat felt tight and my lips were getting really swollen, really fast,” said VanEssendelft. “I looked like Angelina Jolie.”

That. Is. Hysterical. [:D] (This from someone who does not like Angelina Jolie.)

Regarding the story itself...it's sick and mean. But I'm having a hard time with all these bullying stories lately. There have been a lot, but I just don't know if kids are really getting more cleverly evil or we're just hearing more about it. We've been having school shootings for years and years and that mostly stems from kids being mean to each other.

I guess the bottom line is a lack of compassion and a lack of concern for consequences. You can blame all sorts of things for that.



Sideways -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/18/2008 12:41:02 PM)

Honestly, I think we're just hearing about it more. Boys and girls have been mean and vicious to each other from the beginning. Sure, they maybe got whipped for it by their parents or teachers, or maybe they didn't. Certain things like boys fighting were just written off as "boys being boys".

I actually think children are more protected and coddled in many respects then they were 100 years ago.



Sunnymom -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/18/2008 1:19:47 PM)

I definitely think that bullying isn't happening more as much as we are hearing about it more- tv, internet, etc... It is also something that isn't as 'accepted' as it used to be, which is good. But kids aren't as shameful of bad behavior either, IMO, which is not good.

Maybe kids are more protected and coddled nowadays, but I don't think any child should attempt to murder another child with a sandwich. The age of these kids concerns me as well- I can understand an elementary age kid not understanding the ramifications of waving a Reese around like an M-16, but these are teens. Myelin shmyelin- they oughta know better than to hatch a plot to see if another kid really will swell like a balloon and have to get out their Epi-pen.

I have nut allergies too- I can eat peanuts and almonds, but just cracking walnuts around me will result in my face swelling and my throat closing. No one ever tried to kill me with a loaded brownie though.



Sideways -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/18/2008 5:21:56 PM)

Oh, I don't think bullying should be done. These kids deserve some pretty fierce punishment, and if they're old enough, I say bring 'em up on criminal charges for knowingly exposing someone to a toxic substance.

Nothing they did was even slightly justifiable, but I just think that human beings are as evil now as they were 50, 100, 5000 years ago. The only thing that changes is what society deems acceptable. And most reasonable adults today would not deem this acceptable. Hopefully, those kids will be properly dealt with.



Sunnymom -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/19/2008 9:46:59 AM)

If you read the article, what did you think of the psychology professor claiming that a lack of meylination in the brain accounts for this kind of behavior? The basic premise is that until this process is complete, kids don't have the capacity to fully understand risk and consequences. I have heard this brought up before on the subject of how many single car accidents involve teens.



stellaluna -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/19/2008 10:12:09 AM)

I think he's full of you-know-what. It's an excuse that teens don't know right from wrong and can't understand right from wrong and therefore, we shouldn't concern ourselves with trying to teach them and we shouldn't put consequences in place. HELLO...THAT'S HOW YOU LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG. If everyone went by that logic, then no one would ever attempt to teach a toddler anything, no one would be potty-trained until adulthood, etc.



iluvatar -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/19/2008 10:40:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna

I think he's full of you-know-what. It's an excuse that teens don't know right from wrong and can't understand right from wrong and therefore, we shouldn't concern ourselves with trying to teach them and we shouldn't put consequences in place. HELLO...THAT'S HOW YOU LEARN THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG. If everyone went by that logic, then no one would ever attempt to teach a toddler anything, no one would be potty-trained until adulthood, etc.


I think what he's talking about is deeper than just plain old right-and-wrong; it has to do with the depth and meaning of the consequences. What I understand his position to be is that kids may not be able to fully grasp the depth or scope of the consequences of two actions that are both wrong. How much difference does a child perceive there to be between teasing the new kid (which he knows is wrong) and feeding him peanut butter (which he also knows is wrong)?

-Dan.



zoebob -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/19/2008 11:09:16 AM)

I thnk kids should be able to understand that if exposing someone to something could make them deadly ill then you should do it.

Kids should be able to understand and accept, especially once they are told, that the consequences of teasing and the consequences of exposing someone to a possibly deadly allergan (sp?) are different



pbaribeault -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/19/2008 12:38:09 PM)

I agree with the idea that they don't tend to follow the logic to it's end-point. Whether it's about brain chemicals or just lack of experience, I don't think these kids intended to kill anyone.

Their experience probably doesn't include anyone dying, and everyone they know who has gotten sick has gotten better. Kids expect adults to be able to fix things, and they have little exposure to things actually going disastrously wrong. Things in their lives just tend to turn out OK, so they are probably unclear about this concept that maybe something they do will actually hurt someone (in more than a malicious-but-temporary way).

It's wrong (yes, yes, very, very wrong!) but just because we know it could have been deadly doesn't mean they intended murder.



shadowspring -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/19/2008 1:27:53 PM)

This story reminds me of something I read about in the paper 15 years ago. A home room mom gave a child a peanut butter cookie because she thought allergies were "all in your head". [8|]

That five year old died. He had even asked if the cookie had peanuts in it and told the home room mom he was allergic. She lied, and gve him the cookie anyway. [:@]

Peanut allergies are a SERIOUS ISSUE and I would be suprised if public schooled students did not know this. [sm=aside.gif]

More likely is the truth that teenages engage in magical thinking all the time, where their actions will never have serious consequences. [:'(]

A lawsuit and/or criminal charges are neeed to drive the point home. No matter what your age, you are responsible for your moral choices. Putting another human life at risk for our personal entertainment is NOT ACCEPTABLE!

These young ladies need to experience serious consequences for this serious offense.



garsyt -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/19/2008 6:25:33 PM)

quote:

Their experience probably doesn't include anyone dying, and everyone they know who has gotten sick has gotten better. Kids expect adults to be able to fix things, and they have little exposure to things actually going disastrously wrong. Things in their lives just tend to turn out OK, so they are probably unclear about this concept that maybe something they do will actually hurt someone (in more than a malicious-but-temporary way).


With this I agree. Many times children, even teenagers often don't realize the very serious consequences of some of their actions! Now I didn't read the entire article, but where were the adults? I know it the school cafeteria's around here their are adult monitors in the room at all times. In fact our elementary school has a couple children with serious food allergies and the school actually prepares special meals for them AND one of the children is in a classroom whose teacher has taking great care in teaching her students about food allergies and the kids in turn have been VERY careful about what they bring in for birthday treats and the whole shebang. We also have several diabetics both teachers and students that we are just now starting to educate the kids about. One is one of our 4th grade teachers - and this is the FIRST year that when his students bring in special snacks for birthdays or whatever many of them have choosen to bring either something different for him or have choosen to do totally sugar free for the entire class. It does help that one of the students in his class was diagnosed last summer with juv. Diabetes and food allergies.

But when kids hit middle school sometimes it seems as if all common sense and compassion go flying out the window! And quite honestly common sense and compassion start at home, not at school.

quote:

Peanut allergies are a SERIOUS ISSUE and I would be suprised if public schooled students did not know this.


Many do if told of the serious consequences. But there are those that just can't seem to see beyond themselves, much like toddlers if you aske me. And the same can be said for any church carry in or Sunday school class or youth group meeting. If a family that doesn't have allergies - sometimes those children can be just as mean and cruel and conniving against a child that does. The difference is, I hope, is that someone would step up and make sure serious problems are taking care of ASAP.

Food allergies are taken VERY seriously at our schools! Our biggest issues actually happen at church when folks can't seem to tone down the perfumes and colognes!

Blessings,

Garsy



shadowspring -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/19/2008 8:10:50 PM)

quote:

In fact our elementary school has a couple children with serious food allergies and the school actually prepares special meals for them AND one of the children is in a classroom whose teacher has taking great care in teaching her students about food allergies and the kids in turn have been VERY careful about what they bring in for birthday treats and the whole shebang.


That's what I thought about the public schools, garsyt, that they did an excellent job of taking care of children with food allergies and educating students about how serious they are.

If I could give stars I would give your school five of them! [:D]



Ellie-Mae -> RE: Choosy Bullies Choose Jif (4/19/2008 8:17:05 PM)

There was a girl that I went to school with that had all kinds of food allergies. Many times they would become a concern at the most "convenient" times. There were times that i really didn't believe her, BUT I wouldn't have tested out on her. What if I was WRONG?? How horrible that could be. It was just something that we didn't do... no matter how curious we might be or unbelievable or mean the other kids was.

I am glad that the mother was able to find some sort of solution. A lot of people home school for the health of their children.



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