RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (Full Version)

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faroukfarouk -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 11:27:01 PM)

2shaye

quote:

Yes. I wanted him to get an ear pierced in jr. high


Yes, that is what I meant just now, as well; it needs to be recognized by ppl who maybe have strong opinions the other way (and they are entitled to them, of course) that there are some parents, indeed like you, who may actually want their sons to pierce their ears.

Re. the tattoo, I'm not sure there is a particularly live thread on that subject, though.

Take care.



married4fun -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 2:31:08 AM)

Well I’m personally against boys piercing their ears because I think it looks stupid. So as long as I was doing the driving and paying the fee it wouldn't happen. But, at a certain age...when they are driving and have a little money of their own...at that age I don't think it’s a matter of me "letting them." If they wanted to get it done then I would be powerless to stop it. What am I going to do about it? Really.
If they told be beforehand I would say I didn't think they should do it...I would tell them my personal opinion is that it looks stupid and sort of unmanly. I would ask them not to do it. If they did it anyway I wouldn't feel slighted. At a certain age we have to cut the strings and that sort of thing is not very important anyway....even if it is stupid looking.



faroukfarouk -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 2:50:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: married4fun

at a certain age...when they are driving and have a little money of their own...at that age I don't think it’s a matter of me "letting them." If they wanted to get it done then I would be powerless to stop it. What am I going to do about it? Really.


I guess so.



1love1God1way -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 2:54:04 AM)

Well, I aint no parent yet, all I know is, when I was living at home, I couldn't wear blue socks if my parents didn't like how they looked on me.

Of course, they weren't THAT restricting, but they had their set rules, ie, I could dye my hair whatever color I wanted, but I couldn't get a piercing or a tat. And I didn't argue with them.

I don't personally have a problem with boys getting piercings, but if I have a son living under my house, will I let him? Heck no. He can go ahead and make that decision when he leaves my house.



faroukfarouk -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 3:08:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 1love1God1way

Well, I aint no parent yet, all I know is, when I was living at home, I couldn't wear blue socks if my parents didn't like how they looked on me.

Of course, they weren't THAT restricting, but they had their set rules, ie, I could dye my hair whatever color I wanted, but I couldn't get a piercing or a tat. And I didn't argue with them.

I don't personally have a problem with boys getting piercings, but if I have a son living under my house, will I let him? Heck no. He can go ahead and make that decision when he leaves my house.


Well, interesting...

Some families would regard boys' earrings as more 'tame' than the brightly coloured hair that you had.

We are all different. Take care.



Roberta_ -> "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 3:40:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: faroukfarouk

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

They knew all along that they could do it if they wanted too.

I have 2 girls and 2 boys. So far, the only one who got her ears pierced is the 15 year old.

quote:

I would do the same for my sons. They are now 22 and 19 and have no piercings (or tattoos).


Well they must have thought it was nice to have a tolerant mom; some moms aren't! Anyway. (Though re. your mention of the tattoos, I'm guessing you still wouldnt be too thrilled if your daughters wanted those.)

I guess it varies from family to family what age the boys' earrings thing is seen as appropriate, anyway.


I don't necessarily think that I'm a tolerant mom, just this is not a battle that I pick to have with my children. They do know that they can only have their ears pierced. Some parents do not allow piercings. I don't think they are less tolerant than I am. They just parent differently. If a parent does not allow a child to have a piercing and the child does it anyway, the child is in rebellion and is just downright disrepectful.

I will allow my dds to wear tasteful make-up, but my sons aren't allowed to wear any. My 20 yo dd hardly ever wears make-up. My 15 yo dd wears it about 2x a week. I determine what is considered tasteful make-up and there have been times where they have had to march back into the bathroom and remove half of what they just put on.

Fortunately God blessed me with the four most beautiful children ever born, so make-up isn't ever needed. (How's that for a completely unbiased opionion- lol! [8D])



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 6:43:17 AM)

Me personally, I wouldn't be happy but I could live with it.

However, as long as our boys are living under dh's roof, they will not be permitted piercings...or braided or dreadlocked hair for that matter. To him there are certain things that symbolize outright rebellion, and ear-piercing is one of them.



faroukfarouk -> RE: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 7:06:02 AM)

DenimDiva

quote:


I don't necessarily think that I'm a tolerant mom, just this is not a battle that I pick to have with my children. They do know that they can only have their ears pierced.


The Pick your battles thing. Yes I understand that one.

Some would circle the waggons; but before doing so, 'what would be actually achieved if we circle the waggons over this one' needs to be asked...

Thnx. Take Care.



bluestone -> RE: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 8:41:32 AM)

Having had two teens, I can tell you that what you think you will do when they are small, and what actually happens when they are 17-18 are two different matters.[;)]

I have seen rifts divide families on issues that in the grand scheme of things just are not that important.

The question to ask is: Is my kid rebelling? or is it the natural pulling away and growing up that is supposed to happen? And, am I just on a power trip and not wanting to lose a control issue?

When they are practically grown, the issue for me was not one of "my house, my rules" as much as "Is this worth killing my relationship with my child over?" Applying the same rules on a 16 year old that you do on a five years old does not work. You can't expect them to have that type of obedience on every issue.

One issue was(a serious sin issue) , most were not.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 11:10:53 AM)

Piercings and tattos are (usually) permanent. Dying ones hair is not. Actually, DS1 asked if he could dye his hair some insane color and I told him fine--he wanted to do it for a particular athletic event. However, he was in Civil Air Patrol when that event came around again and THEY have a rule against dying your hair non-human colors. So he never did. He did have racing stripes shaved out once, though, and it was me that did the shaving.[;)]

I am not against individuality. I just happen to think that kids aren't mature enough, and do not have a good enough grasp on time and the passing of it, to make some decisions.



hotsaucygma -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 11:52:42 AM)

Hey Jenny. Glad you and the boys enjoyed the "Mom" tat idea. [:D] I thought it was rather inventive at the time, lol.

I do have to wonder, as some of these kids age, what they will look like! The enlarged piercings and tats may look pretty strange as skin loses it's elasticity...[8|] Of course, kids never really think that's going to happen to them! [:D]



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 11:54:14 AM)

Yeah, a saw a rose once that is definitely gonna be a wilted rose before its owner is fifty...



hotsaucygma -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 11:54:37 AM)

LOL.[:D]



2shaye -> RE: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 12:02:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bluestone

Having had two teens, I can tell you that what you think you will do when they are small, and what actually happens when they are 17-18 are two different matters.[;)]

I have seen rifts divide families on issues that in the grand scheme of things just are not that important.

The question to ask is: Is my kid rebelling? or is it the natural pulling away and growing up that is supposed to happen? And, am I just on a power trip and not wanting to lose a control issue?

When they are practically grown, the issue for me was not one of "my house, my rules" as much as "Is this worth killing my relationship with my child over?" Applying the same rules on a 16 year old that you do on a five years old does not work. You can't expect them to have that type of obedience on every issue.

One issue was(a serious sin issue) , most were not.

I agree with you 100%!



Mrs.X -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 12:02:50 PM)

My boys can get their left ear pierced once (when they become teens), but they can't stretch it like THIS. They will not be getting other piercings on their face under my roof. I want them to understand that a lot of jobs won't hire you if you look like THIS. Most places wouldn't care about one ear piercing or even a couple OK looking tattoos. But, when you start looking funky, then a lot of people wouldn't hire you.



stellaluna -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 12:09:32 PM)

If I had a boy, I would let him pierce his ears if he wanted.

I also don't care about facial piercings or gauging up, as long as they are done in a reputable shop and not in a bathroom with a safety pin. (As long as you stay below 00, your lobes have a pretty good chance of shrinking back down. My husbands were bigger than that and you can't even tell anymore.) I would explain to any child that some jobs won't let you have facial piercings and they have to be prepared for that.

No tattoos until they are of age. It is against the law to tattoo someone under 18 and I absolutely do not want a child of mine getting ink out of someone's garage or kitchen.

(Edited to add the same rules apply to any girl child I might have.)



frazzledmom -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 12:14:36 PM)

I have no problems with ear piercings, but my personal preference is to draw my parental boundary there. I really don't like other types of piercings, but if one of my children is an overall good kid, and really wants to get an eyebrow ring etc.....I might let him do it. Better that than drugs, sex and alcohol behind a parent's back. I think it's important to educate teens that body piercings are accepted readily in some social groups but not others and it's wise to use wisdom and common sense when dressing for the day. Going out with friends? Sure, where the earrings and what not. Going to the nursing home for a service project? Might want to tone it down a bit.



Mrs.X -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 12:16:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna
(As long as you stay below 00, your lobes have a pretty good chance of shrinking back down. My husbands were bigger than that and you can't even tell anymore.) I would explain to any child that some jobs won't let you have facial piercings and they have to be prepared for that.

That's actually good to know. I didn't know that. OK, so my boys can't gauge passed 00. I just don't want anything too permanent, KWIM? In case they decide they want to become businessmen or something.

My hubby got a tattoo of a spider on his wrist in his early 20's, and he's an exterminator now, so it worked out, LOL! His last job though, he had to wear long sleeves all the time though, even on hot days.



Roberta_ -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 12:23:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelMagnolia

My boys can get their left ear pierced once (when they become teens), but they can't stretch it like THIS. They will not be getting other piercings on their face under my roof. I want them to understand that a lot of jobs won't hire you if you look like THIS. Most places wouldn't care about one ear piercing or even a couple OK looking tattoos. But, when you start looking funky, then a lot of people wouldn't hire you.


Those types of piercings are so disgusting! I wouldn't allow those on boys or girls.



stellaluna -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 12:25:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelMagnolia

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna
(As long as you stay below 00, your lobes have a pretty good chance of shrinking back down. My husbands were bigger than that and you can't even tell anymore.) I would explain to any child that some jobs won't let you have facial piercings and they have to be prepared for that.

That's actually good to know. I didn't know that. OK, so my boys can't gauge passed 00. I just don't want anything too permanent, KWIM? In case they decide they want to become businessmen or something.

Well there's always a risk. If they get too big and won't shrink, your only option is plastic surgery.

quote:


My hubby got a tattoo of a spider on his wrist in his early 20's, and he's an exterminator now, so it worked out, LOL! His last job though, he had to wear long sleeves all the time though, even on hot days.

My husband has tattoos up and down his arms and on his hands and currently works a job that it doesn't matter. However, he's trying to make a change and he is prepared to wear long sleeves and makeup if necessary.

I have had several jobs as well that didn't require me to remove my nose ring or other piercings. (professional jobs) That doesn't mean I'll always have that luxury and I'm prepared for that. Anymore though, it is becoming more and more acceptable, and it will become moreso as the boomers retire.



Mrs.X -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 12:52:28 PM)

Oh, OK...I suppose I'd have to look into more if that time comes.

Roberta, I find gauged ears pretty gross too, but to each his own. I don't mind my kids expressing themselves, but not in a permanent way.



Memaw. -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 1:20:16 PM)

I read through the thread.
Whew! [:D]

I have 5 children, 1 son and 4 daughters.
My son asked me when he was 14 if he could get his ear pierced.
I freaked!

Yet I allowed my daughters to have their ears pierced and double pierced and 2 of them have belly piercings and 2 have cartilage piercings and 1 has a tattoo.

I feel like I was not fair to my son.

If I had it to do over again, I would have allowed him to pierce his ear.



Roberta_ -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 1:24:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Memaw.
I feel like I was not fair to my son.

If I had it to do over again, I would have allowed him to pierce his ear.


I don't think you were unfair. There are different rules for boys and girls. I don't see anything wrong with that. We've all made decisions regarding our children that, in hindsight, we would consider changing.



Memaw. -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 1:45:06 PM)

quote:

There are different rules for boys and girls.


I suppose so, but hindsight tells me that this "rule" was unfair.
Not to go off topic, but the way I see it now, if a boy isn't allowed to get his ear pierced because it's a "girl only" thing, then girls shouldn't be able to do things that are "boys only" (play with trucks, wear jeans, cut their hair short etc).

Not wanting to pick an argument with anyone, it's just my view on the subject.[;)]



lexie -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/18/2008 2:03:08 PM)

The rules of our house are, that no boy can have his ears pierced if he is living in our home. I will not take my boys to get them pierced, they will know we don't want them to have pierced ears, and if they do so, they will remove their earrings when at our house. We have a teenage nephew with pierced ears who does remove his earrings when staying with us.

As for tattoos, I have 2 so I can't necessarily argue with that. I don't regret mine at all, and can't see myself doing so. I got them when I was 18 and 20, before I was saved. I will not get anymore, but I don't regret mine. While I can't tell my child no tattoos, I will not be giving them permission before the age of 18 to do so. If they have one, they will cover them up in most situations (I do that with mine).

For us, piercings and tattoos definitely fall under a cultural thing, like braids and dreadlocks. Dreadlocks are a definite no-no in our house. Anything that begins to look like them will be shaved off while they are sleeping (Dh holds them down, I shave them off - it's already planned.) Braids on boys will also be a no-no. Culturally (in our situation), these thing identify people with a certain lifestyle that I don't want my children portraying or involved in. I will teach them this from when they are young.

But like I mentioned in the dreadlock discussion months back, I don't necessarily look at people who do these things as wrong, but knowing the stereotype that comes with them in the culture we are raising OUR children, we don't want OUR children to partake of it.



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