RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church?
View related threads:
(in this forum
| in all forums)
|
Logged in as: Guest
|
|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
|
[Poll]
|
Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church?
|
| Yes. |
|
| No. |
|
| I don't know. |
|
Total Votes : 79
|
(last vote on : 5/5/2008 12:34:43 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
|
|
Login  | |
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 3:47:23 PM
|
|
|
doinkdom
Posts: 4132
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline
|
I would absolutely agree if this were a landlord/tenant situation.
I think and believe families are different. I also believe that much of what has been said is what leads to dads not leading, moms not nurturing and kids not obeying.
Somehow our kids think it is perfectly fine to find loopholes in situations and make every family issue a matter for a court to decide - no thanks to the media and it's portrayal of all the past technicalities. There is no authority at home, there is only tolerance so Jr. or Princess don't get their feelings hurt.
I suppose my reasoning comes from a place where dads need to "zip it up in the front" and cherish their families through godly leadership. Too many times all the responsiblities are left to mom until dad disapproves...then he finally steps up and you have a battle.
And of course, single parents have a much tougher time, especially if the other parent is not in agreement about the kids.
alright, I promise...not another word
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 4:04:05 PM
|
|
|
car2ner
Posts: 2769
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
Status: offline
|
I tend to agree. How come Mom is the bad guy here? If this young man really honored his parents we wouldn't be having this arguement. I think they might have come to a compromise. This is why I cannot rightly say that the mom backed out of her word. We do not know the whole story. I am sure it is not as simple as, " I just changed my mind". If that were the case I'd agree that Zedd was getting a bit of a raw deal. But even still, if this is the worst thing the mom (parents) are doing to him, he has it pretty good!
_____________________________
http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 4:11:26 PM
|
|
|
JimboFletch
Posts: 6504
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: car2ner
I tend to agree. How come Mom is the bad guy here? If this young man really honored his parents we wouldn't be having this arguement. I think they might have come to a compromise. This is why I cannot rightly say that the mom backed out of her word. We do not know the whole story. I am sure it is not as simple as, " I just changed my mind". If that were the case I'd agree that Zedd was getting a bit of a raw deal. But even still, if this is the worst thing the mom (parents) are doing to him, he has it pretty good!
Yep, a little Attitude of Gratitude might have prevented the whole mess.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 4:28:52 PM
|
|
|
earthless
Posts: 5682
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: where pigeons are getting their sweaters ready....
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: car2ner
I tend to agree. How come Mom is the bad guy here? If this young man really honored his parents we wouldn't be having this arguement. I think they might have come to a compromise. This is why I cannot rightly say that the mom backed out of her word. We do not know the whole story. I am sure it is not as simple as, " I just changed my mind". If that were the case I'd agree that Zedd was getting a bit of a raw deal. But even still, if this is the worst thing the mom (parents) are doing to him, he has it pretty good!
Exactly.
I'll sit in a building for two hours a week for free food, boarding, etc....
_____________________________
Probing Today's Religious Movements | Promoting Doctrinal Discernment & Critical Thinking | Providing Reasons for Christian Faith & Ethics
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 6:28:44 PM
|
|
|
SovereignIsHe
Posts: 4442
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: car2ner
I tend to agree. How come Mom is the bad guy here? If this young man really honored his parents we wouldn't be having this arguement. I think they might have come to a compromise. This is why I cannot rightly say that the mom backed out of her word. We do not know the whole story. I am sure it is not as simple as, " I just changed my mind". If that were the case I'd agree that Zedd was getting a bit of a raw deal. But even still, if this is the worst thing the mom (parents) are doing to him, he has it pretty good!
In spite of what I have posted I am not of the belief the mom isn the bad guy, she's just the one more accountable and the one held to a higher standard. As well I feel for her to have the "UPPER HAND" she needs to do everything in her power to do things according to God's word as much as possible... And without a doubt if the son honored his parents there would be no issue...
The reason the mom should keep her word is not based on the fact her son doesn't act as he should. I spoke to my pastor about an agreement a couple years back I had made with another party after it became evident that not everything was put on the table when things were negotiated... Some things were purposely hidden... I asked about amending the agreement and the pastor spoke of times where the Israelites were told by God to keep their word regardless because it matters that much.
He gave me this verse and what follows...
Psalms 15:4 In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the Lord. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not.
And the meaning is, that the faithful will rather submit to suffer loss than break their word. When a man keeps his promises, in as far as he sees it to be for his own advantage, there is in this no argument to prove his uprightness and faithfulness. But when men make a promise to each other, there is nothing more common than from some slight loss which the performance of it would occasion, to endeavor to find a pretext for breaking their engagements. Every one considers with himself what is for his own advantage, and if it puts him to inconvenience or trouble to stand to his promises, he is ingenious enough to imagine that he will incur a far greater loss than there is any reason to apprehend. It seems, indeed, a fair excuse when a man complains that, if he does not depart from his engagement, he will suffer great loss. Hence it is, that we generally see so much unfaithfulness among men, that they do not consider themselves bound to perform the promises which they have made, except in so far as it will promote their own personal interest. David, therefore, condemning this inconstancy, requires the children of God to exhibit the greatest steadfastness in the fulfillment of their promises. Here the question might be asked, If a man, having fallen into the hands of a highwayman, promise him a sum of money to save his life, and if, in consequence of this, he is let go, should he in that case keep his promise? Again, if a man has been basely deceived, in entering into a contract, is it lawful for him to break the oath which he shall have made in such an engagement? With respect to the highwayman, he who confers upon him money falls into another fault, for he supports at his own expense a common enemy of mankind to the detriment of the public welfare. David does not impose upon the faithful such an alternative as this, but only enjoins them to show a greater regard to their promises than to their own personal interests, and to do this especially when their promises have been confirmed by an oath. As to the other case, namely, when a person has sworn, from being deceived and imposed upon by wicked artifice he ought certainly to hold the holy name of God in such veneration, as rather patiently to submit to loss than violate his oath. Yet it is perfectly lawful for him to discover or reveal the fraud which has been practiced upon him, provided he is not led to do so by a regard to his own personal interest; and there is, besides, nothing to hinder him from peaceably endeavoring to compromise the matter with his adversary. Many of the Jewish expositors restrict this passage to vows, as if David exhorted the faithful to perform their vows when they have promised to humble and afflict themselves by fasting. But in this they are mistaken. Nothing is farther from his meaning than this, for he discourses here only of the second table of the law, and of the mutual rectitude which men should maintain in their dealings with one another.
John
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 6:30:37 PM
|
|
|
OLEEguacamole
Posts: 1063
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: SovereignIsHe
quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
I would absolutely agree if this were a landlord/tenant situation.
I think and believe families are different. I also believe that much of what has been said is what leads to dads not leading, moms not nurturing and kids not obeying.
Somehow our kids think it is perfectly fine to find loopholes in situations and make every family issue a matter for a court to decide - no thanks to the media and it's portrayal of all the past technicalities. There is no authority at home, there is only tolerance so Jr. or Princess don't get their feelings hurt.
I suppose my reasoning comes from a place where dads need to "zip it up in the front" and cherish their families through godly leadership. Too many times all the responsiblities are left to mom until dad disapproves...then he finally steps up and you have a battle.
And of course, single parents have a much tougher time, especially if the other parent is not in agreement about the kids.
Well said...
it's an adult child, moved into parents (mom's, dad is elswhere)home after turning of age. who does he obey? who leads him? his mother is supposed to answer to God, but who does HE answer to?
that is one of the problems of ignoring the civil law here. that means only one of the two have any law or standard to be accountable to.
civil law as long as it is not God dishonoring, is a place for common accountability.
_____________________________
there's life in a pit.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 6:40:39 PM
|
|
|
SovereignIsHe
Posts: 4442
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: online
|
Sermon: Charles H. Spurgeon regarding Psalms 15:4...
He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not." Scriptural saints under the New Testament rule "swear not at all," but their word is as good as an oath: those men of God who think it right to swear, are careful and prayerful lest they should even seem to overshoot the mark. When engagements have been entered into which turn out to be unprofitable, "the saints are men of honour still." Our blessed Surety swore to his own hurt, but how gloriously he stood to his suretyship! what a comfort to us that he changeth not, and what an example to us to be scrupulously and precisely exact in fulfilling our covenants with others! The most far-seeing trader may enter into engagements which turn out to be serious losses, but whatsoever else he loses, if he keeps his honour, his losses will be bearable; if that be lost all is lost.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 6:46:28 PM
|
|
|
car2ner
Posts: 2769
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
Status: offline
|
I am watching a situation where a person was allowed to become a roommate. They were supposed to do a background check and inform the management. They were also informed that it was a non-smoking home.
This person did not get a background check. They did not inform the management of their presence. They have smoked in the bedroom. There have been other issues as well. This person has been asked to leave. They can either leave or press the legal issue. That makes the lease holders go to court and get an official eviction notice.
I suppose this person could post, my Christian roommates are kicking me out. But we would not know the whole story. This is most likely why Jesus warned us against judging. We must make judgements all the time but we seldom know all the necessary facts and must leave the ultimate judgements to God, who does know all the facts.
The offer of room and board within a family is not necessarily an oath. It is an agreement. Agreements are fluid and can change with the circumstances. One hopes that one is fair in their assesment of the terms of the agreement.
< Message edited by car2ner -- 4/23/2008 6:54:23 PM >
_____________________________
http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 6:53:23 PM
|
|
|
OLEEguacamole
Posts: 1063
Status: offline
|
shall we also recommend that she deal with the rebelious youth according to old testament tradition?
_____________________________
there's life in a pit.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 6:53:55 PM
|
|
|
SovereignIsHe
Posts: 4442
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: mrsdash
it's an adult child, moved into parents (mom's, dad is elswhere)home after turning of age. who does he obey? who leads him? his mother is supposed to answer to God, but who does HE answer to?
As of the daily goings on of the home he should obey the rightful authority of the house. Far as we know it’s the mother… If there are stated rules he should obey them for a host of reasons... The issue of attending church is apart from the common rules because the mother willfully agreed that it would not be part of the rules.
Like it or not the son does answer to God, and the more the mother acts in the manner she should according to the word of God the more the son will have to answer for and the greater the conviction... That is her best hope for what I believe she wants for her son...
quote:
that is one of the problems of ignoring the civil law here. that means only one of the two have any law or standard to be accountable to.
For the record it's not about ignoring the civil law, but what law is supreme... Civil law has its place, but it cannot usurp God's law, and or be used to circumvent God's law...
quote:
civil law as long as it is not God dishonoring, is a place for common accountability.
If the mom were to use the civil law to get out of her agreement it would be God dishonoring... That agreement was while between the mother and son, stands as an agreement to God as well... The failure of one to keep their word ends up at the feet of God in the end...
John
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 7:04:43 PM
|
|
|
SovereignIsHe
Posts: 4442
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: car2ner
I am watching a situation where a person was allowed to become a roommate. They were supposed to do a background check and inform the management. They were also informed that it was a non-smoking home.
This person did not get a background check. They did not inform the management of their presence. They have smoked in the bedroom. There have been other issues as well. This person has been asked to leave. They can either leave or press the legal issue. That makes the lease holders go to court and get an official eviction notice.
I suppose this person could post, my Christian roommates are kicking me out. But we would not know the whole story. This is most likely why Jesus warned us against judging. We must make judgements all the time but we seldom know all the necessary facts and must leave the ultimate judgements to God, who does know all the facts.
What unknown condition could be in play at Zedd's house that would allow his mom to change what they agreed upon? What act could Zedd do that would be connected to the agreement they have in regards to not going to church?
quote:
The offer of room and board within a family is not necessarily an oath. It is an agreement. Agreements are fluid and can change with the circumstances. One hopes that one is fair in their assesment of the terms of the agreement.
The bible says if you say you are going to do something you are to do it, even if it hurts... We are told to keep our word, yes it yes, and no is no...
John
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 7:08:23 PM
|
|
|
SovereignIsHe
Posts: 4442
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: mrsdash
shall we also recommend that she deal with the rebelious youth according to old testament tradition?
I doubt that's the measure she would wish to be judged with...
John
2 Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 8:22:58 PM
|
|
|
SovereignIsHe
Posts: 4442
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: online
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Qtman
Folks I need to get something off my chest with your permission. Last night in an exchange of posts in this thread I lost my grip on self control and made a post I should have never made. I used language, not foul language, that I should have never used. All I can say is it was bad enough to arrant a TOS and did in fact get one. Fortunately the Mod was kind enough to remove the offensive language. However, I do not know how many people read it before it was edited. Therefore I want to offer my sincere apologies to CrossWalk, the Forums Administrators, the Moderators, specifically SovereignIsHe, and anyone else that may have read the post and was offended.
This has bothered me all night and all day today and I had to try to set it straight.
God's Riches Blessings to all.
Sam Johnson
No problem brother and I hope you recieved my post at your forum asking for your forgiveness for my actions...
John Hackler Jr.
Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 8:30:40 PM
|
|
|
Qtman
Posts: 10628
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
Status: offline
|
Just read it John. And as I posted over there I have Glory Bumps breaking out on my arms. It is amazing how God can talk to two people at the same time and tell them the same thing apparently.
_____________________________
Don't take life here to seriously. No one gets out alive.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/23/2008 10:44:33 PM
|
|
|
lw9
Posts: 1157
Joined: 7/22/2005
Status: offline
|
QTman:
No problems at all, and God bless you!!
_____________________________
Aperture Science. We do what we must because we can.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/24/2008 6:11:24 AM
|
|
|
car2ner
Posts: 2769
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
Status: offline
|
quote:
What unknown condition could be in play at Zedd's house that would allow his mom to change what they agreed upon? What act could Zedd do that would be connected to the agreement they have in regards to not going to church?
Dunno, we would have to hear from the parents. I am still surprised that the mom hasn't come on to tell her side. I am sure they have their reasons, though, so I shall not pry. I just see what is going on in a differant home and I realize that the one being asked to leave could make a similar post, although the issue is not about church attendance.
_____________________________
http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/24/2008 6:14:48 AM
|
|
|
Ellie-Mae
Posts: 4160
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: car2ner
quote:
What unknown condition could be in play at Zedd's house that would allow his mom to change what they agreed upon? What act could Zedd do that would be connected to the agreement they have in regards to not going to church?
Dunno, we would have to hear from the parents. I am still surprised that the mom hasn't come on to tell her side. I am sure they have their reasons, though, so I shall not pry. I just see what is going on in a differant home and I realize that the one being asked to leave could make a similar post, although the issue is not about church attendance.
I would be surprised of the parents did come on as it doesn't happen very often.
_____________________________
Isaiah 40:29
He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
W2D1
292 more miles to go!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/24/2008 11:03:55 AM
|
|
|
P31W
Posts: 2441
Joined: 6/13/2005
Status: offline
|
I have not read this whole thread and don't plan to.
What was the terms of the agreement? Did the OP tell us?
Was it a 4 or 6 year lease agreement with no provision for an increase in rent?
Was it month to month?
< Message edited by P31W -- 4/24/2008 11:14:32 AM >
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/24/2008 11:34:51 AM
|
|
|
Kath
Posts: 16987
Joined: 2/28/2005
Status: online
|
He never said.
|
|
|
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
