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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 4/13/2008 1:21:25 AM
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FaithLegacy
Posts: 26
Joined: 4/9/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sararileyann
Ladies, first of all, you aren't going to find a good man until you get comfortable with you. I agree with Dinomax. Most of the true Christian women I have met sit around like knots on logs and are scared of speaking to a man. Lets face it, these aren't the olden days where you didn't have many options. There are almost 8 billion people on this planet, roughly 4 billion of those are women. Lots of those women have something to say. I am a Christian woman who happens to love talking to people and having fun and experiencing new things. I promise your purity will still be intact if you kick off your shoes and have a little fun and develop a personality. Oh, and realize you don't have to have a man to be happy. Nothing is more unattractive than someone who sits around moping. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to have a great man ride in to my life right now, preferably in a big 4x4 truck pulling a bass boat, but if he doesn't, I'm okay with that. The bottom line is, is that life isn't always as cut an dry as we thought it would be. School, boyfriend, marriage, babies, grandbabies, die. Sometimes God's plan for us doesn't include those things, at least not on our prefered time table. All I can say is love people, MEET PEOPLE, and live this life for God. You never know what tomorrow will bring and we all know we aren't promised it.
Good luck and God bless all you single ladies, and men! Oh, go on a mission trip! Great way to meet new people. Check out the International Mission Board through the SBC.
I agree and disagree. I am very friendly and also out going. I'm an actress! But, if I was shy I doubt it would make a difference in finding my husband or indicate I am not comfortable with me. Yes, I agree times have changed but Jesus is the same. So I still think that under no circumstances but sin in some cases will Gods will for me not happen in my lack of character. God promises when we seek Him first we will be given the desires of our hearts. Why would I not agree with that in the case of my relationships? For me, I would agree even more. This is my personal testimony-don't give up to those waiting for the right one the right way. We dont have to change who we are to find someone. That would only be not being comfortable with ourselves. Carry the legacy. Many people are shocked at the fact I've never dated or you know... I see this as a gift a way to minister that we are so comfortable with ourselves and Christ we could wait and trust in him.
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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 4/14/2008 9:00:36 PM
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Konstantinos
Posts: 8141
Joined: 4/14/2005
From: Greece Thessaloniki
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my question is where are the real christians at all? thats good for a start much less finding a christian girl my age that i fit enough with
_____________________________
I'm best friends with the boogie man.
I'm a beast.
I'm a HH.
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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 4/14/2008 9:19:24 PM
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relientkat
Posts: 31
Joined: 4/12/2008
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I didn't have time to read all five pages of these posts so if this seems redundant, I apologize.
So far in my personal walk it seems that God is waiting more on me than I am waiting on Him. I may be waiting (sometimes not so patiently) for my future husband to come into my life, and I may be expecting God to bring Him to me. But God is just as likely waiting for me to fully trust in Him, or learn a few life lessons first before taking that big step. SO maybe the question isn't "where are the decent Christian men/women?" But perhaps the questions is "where am I?"
_____________________________
~katrina~
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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 4/16/2008 12:57:05 AM
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DethWolf
Posts: 51
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Upper Darby, PA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: relientkat
I didn't have time to read all five pages of these posts so if this seems redundant, I apologize.
So far in my personal walk it seems that God is waiting more on me than I am waiting on Him. I may be waiting (sometimes not so patiently) for my future husband to come into my life, and I may be expecting God to bring Him to me. But God is just as likely waiting for me to fully trust in Him, or learn a few life lessons first before taking that big step. SO maybe the question isn't "where are the decent Christian men/women?" But perhaps the questions is "where am I?"
So what then, we have to go through some kind of testing or whatever to make sure we're ready for our man or woman? It irritates me. I'm MORE than ready. I'm sickened and saddened by the idea of me and her only being able to reminisce about our youth instead of ackshully having lived it together.
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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 4/16/2008 2:18:04 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 730
Joined: 11/28/2005
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There have been some great responses to my question since I asked it awhile back!
My story:(which I've repeated a lot on here)
I went online in 2002 - joined christiancafe.com and for a few months I chatted with several Christian men(at least that's what they claimed to be - many were very worldly and they were only after someone to have sex with.)
The last week I was on there I met the man I eventually married - he's Canadian. We married 3 months later and I moved from North Carolina to Canada... we've been married for over 5 yrs. now and it's been incredible being married to a Christian man... it took a lot of searching, praying, at times I felt hopeless and I nearly gave up but my faith kept me going... I always believed there was a Christian man for me and after all the years, the pain etc... we found each other.
jaimestarcross
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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 4/16/2008 9:32:11 PM
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relientkat
Posts: 31
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jaimestarcross
There have been some great responses to my question since I asked it awhile back!
My story:(which I've repeated a lot on here)
I went online in 2002 - joined christiancafe.com and for a few months I chatted with several Christian men(at least that's what they claimed to be - many were very worldly and they were only after someone to have sex with.)
The last week I was on there I met the man I eventually married - he's Canadian. We married 3 months later and I moved from North Carolina to Canada... we've been married for over 5 yrs. now and it's been incredible being married to a Christian man... it took a lot of searching, praying, at times I felt hopeless and I nearly gave up but my faith kept me going... I always believed there was a Christian man for me and after all the years, the pain etc... we found each other.
jaimestarcross
Aww!!! How romantic! Maybe we should all just move to Canada. LOL j/k
_____________________________
~katrina~
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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 4/16/2008 9:42:08 PM
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relientkat
Posts: 31
Joined: 4/12/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DethWolf
quote:
ORIGINAL: relientkat
I didn't have time to read all five pages of these posts so if this seems redundant, I apologize.
So far in my personal walk it seems that God is waiting more on me than I am waiting on Him. I may be waiting (sometimes not so patiently) for my future husband to come into my life, and I may be expecting God to bring Him to me. But God is just as likely waiting for me to fully trust in Him, or learn a few life lessons first before taking that big step. SO maybe the question isn't "where are the decent Christian men/women?" But perhaps the questions is "where am I?"
So what then, we have to go through some kind of testing or whatever to make sure we're ready for our man or woman? It irritates me. I'm MORE than ready. I'm sickened and saddened by the idea of me and her only being able to reminisce about our youth instead of ackshully having lived it together.
Ok... I think you took what I said out of context. I don't think God's up there saying, "Okay, all he has to do now is run better/eat right/get a better job and I'll finally reward him with his soul mate". No. God delights with us in our joy! He isn't holding out on us or whatever. BUT perhaps he really does want us to be READY. Not perfect. Just READY for that commitment. AND I am in no way implying none of us are or are not READY. I was just sharing my personal oppinion.
As single Christians waiting for our spouses we should consistently be checking our hearts for things we need to work on. What a great thing to do in this time of singleness! Growing and stretching in our faith... wow. Heck, while we're at it, revel in this time of falling on love with our Creator! What a great way to learn how to love our future spouses.
Remember, this just my oppinion! :-)
_____________________________
~katrina~
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RE: Where are the Christian men? - 4/16/2008 11:16:22 PM
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graftedintoo
Posts: 25
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline
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Hi, emmkay2
That really was a compliment. Most men LOVE it when a woman can cook well. I have been married long enough to find out how important a home cooked meal is to my husband AND his 40 year old son. By the way, His 40 year old he is not married (used to be)...... :-)
Men dont' always know how to say a nice thing correctly.
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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 4/22/2008 10:11:07 AM
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MsSara
Posts: 43
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Konstantinos
my question is where are the real christians at all? thats good for a start much less finding a christian girl my age that i fit enough with
LOL. GREAT QUESTION! YOU ARE IN GREECE THOUGH, SO I DON'T HAVE A CLUE!
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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 4/22/2008 12:19:31 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 135
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline
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I happen to be one in the making (divorce not final yet). You can bet your bottom dollar that I will be looking for a woman who's spiritual above all other things if and when I start dating again. I compromised on that essential principle and I paid for it dearly over the several years I was married. Until then, I will be content with where I am at and strive to be the best I can be right now.
_____________________________
Live each day as thought it were your last for one day you will be right.
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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 4/27/2008 12:20:15 AM
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chikita82
Posts: 7
Joined: 4/26/2008
Status: offline
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Ohhh this forum has been soo awesome. I read through everyones response, and just smiled and smirked at some. I have to say that I can honestly share both sides of the coin in these situations. I however have learned that if you focus on the negative affect of being single you may drown yourself by these emotions. I am a very outgoing, involved in community, church and friends events, and still fail to find my husband. I need to agree with everyone that feels that regardless of the matter we need to learn to TRUST on GOD mainly. Through my life as a single individual I have taken time to improve who I am, and make changes in areas that need to be changed. In the time that we are single we have to enjoy it, make the best of it, and allow ourselves to yes, meet people and not be afraid to date. I was actually reading earlier today online articles on being single. To be quite honest, everyone will have a different opinion and try to find a justification of "y's" to all these unanswered questions. I just believe live your life to the fullest each day, always allow room for improvement, continue to TRUST GOD in the midst of your decisions and HE will GUIDE your every step. We may not always get things right away, but with GOD we can rest assure that HE will place our life where in needs to be. So dont' go crazy trying to figure out the "opposite sex" problem. We focus on the lack of leadership and commitment in "our future men" and fail to focus on where are our "problems" as women. What are we doing wrong? or pehaps not wrong just .. where can we seek for improvement. Enjoy each day as it comes... 
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RE: Where are the Single Christian men? - 5/8/2008 5:30:10 PM
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Ninjaearth
Posts: 3
Joined: 2/16/2008
From: Washington, D.C. - Maryland
Status: offline
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As someone has said, this has been an awesome forum. Going through, I have a number of responses (not all of them) but enough to say a few things. I'll do that first and then I'll answer the question based on my experience, but analyzed through the grid of Scripture.
First of all, I noticed a distinction between "Christian" and "saved" men/women. Biblically speaking, there are not two separate things, but one. The one who is biblically a Christian is an individual who has been saved by God through by grace through faith in Jesus Christ alone being born again and living a repented lifestyle characterized by godliness. I know the term "Christian" seems general for many people, but the definition is what matters. A more simplier way to say it is this: you'll know a tree by it's fruit. A saved man/woman will display the fruits that accompany their lifestyle (their lifestyle being everything from the casual attitute of conversation to their "closed" door life) and flows from their heart. It's the character that the mouth speaks about all the time as sourced from the heart. In other words, what comes out a person's mouth determines their heart, but what they do determines who they serve. With that said, I'll contribute to the forum discussion question directly.
In my personal experience, I have been taught many things concerning the role of men. While what I know personally is irrelevant, what Scripture says about the roles of men is highly important. If we, men, are suppose to be leaders then what does that leader look like? The best example would be in Ephesians 5, when Paul talks about a man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Another example is in Titus where Paul talks about the man treating the younger woman as sisters and the older woman like mothers. Granted, this doesn't really give any direct "how-tos" to a society that has "dating" as an option versus a culture and society that just had arranged marriages. In fact, the best way to do this is to refer to Galations 5 where it talks about the fruit of the Spirit. If a man fills himself with these things, by living constantly portraying the fruit of the Spirit, this will make us strong and live orderly for God. As a result, we have a huge task of being leaders in our churches and other organizations because we are setting up the model of living and loving and serving Christ so that our future wives (one per man) and children will be able to follow suit. Furthermore, a man has to ensure that his total life is under the authority of Scripture (as much as possible) and that He is constantly serving and obeying the voice of the Lord. Most important, he must be content to serve God by beign fully committed to his calling and face the reality that if God desires not to give the man his heart's desire while he is still on this earth, even if it is a wife (simply due because the nature of the ministry and the evils of our society as well as other possible factors). With that said, the man must first answer and pursue his calling with all of his heart so that he may be found a faithful leader in the end. Thus, with this, I'm ready to answer the question (I do apologize but I'm not short by any means when it comes to answering posts).
Where are all the single Christian men? The answer is simple: they are the ones that are sacrificing their lives to pursue their callings passionately eager to serve God in the capacity that God has called them to be. As such, they may be the ones that you never dreamed of (the nerd in the back, the so unattractive looking one in the corner, the one who seems to be weak but is extremely strong in the Word of God.) They are not always the one that shouts a hallowed hallelujah or a loud Amen, and may always be the piano player or even the popular guy that everyone likes. In fact, it may the one who doesn't say much, but you see him (ladies) every Sunday, at most (if not all) the prayer and Bible study meetings, teaching Sunday school, praying for the lost and evangelizing the community. In essence, he's probably the regular guy who is so much in love with God that he desires to share this amazing connection and relationship with a woman (you). The problem: many are looking for those are powerful and influential and the ones with money or, as many of the guys put it, the woman are not being honest in their faith and it's not the guy that they are interested in: families, babies, acceptance, love, and etc. is what they desire. A man of God wants only a woman who desires to share in the blessings and coverings and glories of his relationship with God as they, too, bring with them the pleasures of God in being a woman. With that, the Christian men are looking for the "suitable" partner that Adam had with him in the garden and throughout the course of time that only God can give. We are looking for the woman who will help us, assist us, suit us, in our callings. This doesn't mean power, but this means suffering, persecution, radicalism, and even a willingless to change anything at any moment (location, career, churches, etc) for the sake of living for Christ. The Christian men are those that are changing the world quietly in order to make a loud impact for Christ. It's not that we don't exist, but rather we are here searching for our Eve, Sarah, Rebekah, Mary, Priscilla, Ruth, and the like. Where to find us, at Bible college, seminary, churches that teach biblical truth, communities that are broken, working jobs that don't pay much or just enough, slaving with our hands trying to establish our lives as well as the ones taking the time to risk our lives in witnessing to those who are lost and....spend time and energy on our faces before God laying down our sinful habits and selfish desires to do things our way and not God's way. We are struggling from the lust of this world, trying to shield our eyes from the poisons of the adultresses, the treats of the harlots, and the slander from the seducetresses. At the same time, we are trying to recover from the abuse of our mothers, the harshness of our sisters, and the coldness of heart from our exes. We are not perfect, but are striving to be like Christ. So, where are we? We are serving God in the most unlikely capacities that range from the average pew worshipper to the pastorate, from students to professors, and from men of dreams to men of valor. We are just around the corner, looking at you and wanting to pursue you. Maybe we're scared, maybe we're afraid....that's only because we are shy and we need help. A little hint is fine, but trust God that if you are for us then it's to you we will go. As I close, the final place to find the single Christian men would be in the closet: because we're praying and asking God the same question you are too: where are all the single Christian ladies? If you can't find us, that's probably because we're looking for you too!
_____________________________
Reggie "Ninjaearth" Fredericks
Washington Bible College
6511 Princess Garden Pkwy #181
Lanham, MD 20706
980-322-3708
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