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zmanfan38 -> RE: Your Story (8/7/2007 12:21:24 PM)
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Wow, deciding where to start is hard!
When I was 7ish mom decided to leave Michigan and dad. She packed a bunch of stuff and me into her car and we drove to TN where her family lived.
I guess the single mom life wasn't what she expected because she never coped with it very well. Soon after we got to TN she started physically abusing me...not long after that the emotional abuse started. Not much need to elaborate on the physical abuse...kind of self explanatory. The emotional abuse was harder to deal with though. There were no defense wounds on the backs of my arms from it, no hand prints on my face, just a broken spirit that nobody could ever figure out. I wasn't in any position to ask for help. There were people who tried to get help for me by reporting the abuse to the sheriff's department, but the sheriff did not take any action because the abuser was his daughter. I loved my grandpa, and I understand that my mom put him in a bad position, but I wish that he would have swallowed his pride and done the right thing. He was so embarassed and ashamed of her because of what she was doing to me, but he took too much pride in his reputation in the county and wanted to hide the whole thing.
So, I did the stereotypical thing for a child abuse survivor...I married an abusive man right after my 19th birthday just to get out of her house. It lasted for about 3 years and I finally decided it was time to get out before he did serious harm to me. I fled while he was at work and the divorce was in the works. One morning while I was getting ready for work he broke into my apartment and tried to take my life. After about 20 minutes of going in and out of consciousness I convinced him to call an ambulance. (He *did* serve time in jail for that)
Strange but true, that was the day I got saved. I had been going to church for a few months (since leaving the abusive husband) and I knew I needed to be saved and I knew how, but had not prayed and asked Jesus to forgive me and save me yet. Laying on the floor with my hands cuffed behind my back and blood pouring from my head I prayed that prayer. It wasn't that I thought my life was over and I better do this right now because I truly believed I would live through it. The best part is that I prayed out loud (not for the ex's benefit...just how I wanted to pray) and the ex heard every word. He paced the floor as nervous as anybody I've ever seen. I think he knew that God Himself was in that apartment and would protect me...I truly think that's why he finally called the ambulance.
I was 23 years old that day and until then I had made a lot of terrible decisions that caused me to deal with some very bad stuff in my life. I understood that it was all free will...I had made those decisions myself and took too many chances with my life and health and it made me SO very thankful to God for His patience with me. He didn't have to let me live to see 23 years old, but He did. Praise The Lord!!!!!
Life isn't perfect. Mom and I had a final falling out last January. She said I was now a "motherless child". Praise God I have an earthly Dad who loves me and a Heavenly Father that I have lived for for 16 years now. I have a wonderful husband and a daughter that melts my heart and gives me so much joy!
Thanks for reading. God bless you all!
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