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RE: Your Story - 8/5/2007 9:05:44 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
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(continued from previous post)
When I was 20, I found out I was pregnant. I will clarify right now that I most certainly do know who Christopher's father is; and that, in a strange sort of way, it is a blessing for me to be able to declare this. However, the years previous, I had been living a promiscuous lifestyle. I do remember thinking that "it" was the only reason why I was born . . . and also, I was still living under the lie of many different fears; one of them being the fear of physical violence if I didn't do what anyone wanted me to do. Thankfully Our Lord was beginning to reach me and to teach me that this simply wasn't true.
I also feel strongly led to tell y'all that one of my very first thoughts when I found out I was pregnant was that I would get an abortion. I tell y'all this because I have always been anti-abortion; even years before Christopher was ever conceived. It truly nearly did me in to realize that I was even capable of considering abortion. Once again, it's the lie of fear. So many fears go through a unwed mother's mind when she first finds out that she is pregnant. I no longer consider myself anti-abortion. What I am is very much pro life. There is a difference between the two; a very big difference (but this thread isn't the place for me to expound on that). PLEASE pray against abortions. PLEASE pray for unwed mothers. And very much, PLEASE, PLEASE . . . if you ever have the opportunity to help an unwed mother or even unwed father, PLEASE let them see Jesus through you by exuding HIS Love to them. THAT is what is going to reach them; and it certainly is what is going to help them more than anything else.
After I came to my senses and realized that I really did not want to have an abortion, I began making plans to place Christopher for adoption. I knew that, at that time in my life, I was incapable of being a good mother. Christopher was born in November of 1984; and 3 days later, I held him and told him how much I loved him and that I would always love him. I promised to always pray for him, then kissed him and looked at him for the last time. (Please pardon the sentimentality; giving birth to Christopher is one of my greatest joys).
Of all things . . . when the time was close for me to give birth to Christopher, my biological mother called me. I was 21 years old and it was the first time in my entire life that I had ever had any type of communication with her. But for me, the timing wasn't right and it freaked me out. I didn't tell her I was pregnant but I did ask her to give me 6 months and that I would make contact with her then. Very sadly, 6 months to the day of our phone conversation, she took her life, while living in an rehabilitation home for alcoholic women.
This really did a number on me, and one of my responses was a very irrational reactionary desire to search for and find my biological father. About a year later, I did locate him and I even flew out to meet him. What I found was a man who was completed debilitated by alcohol. He was very much a current alcoholic; and I decided that I just couldn't take that on in yet another person. That was the last contact I had with him.
There's a period in my life that I have retrospectively and affectionately dubbed, "My Decade of Healing." It spans my life from age 21-31. Becoming pregnant with Christopher was such a wake-up call for me. I saw where my life was headed and it simultaneously frightened, disappointed and repulsed me. I knew I was pretty messed up and I also knew that a lot of it was due to things that had happened to me when I was younger. And so, with Our Lord's Help, I entered My Decade of Healing and purposely set out to address and heal from each issue. At the time, I had no idea that such experience was going to span 10 years; and truthfully, those 10 years were extremely painful and sometimes I wondered if I would ever make it through. But I also had promised myself at the beginning of it that I was going to do this for myself and that I wasn't going to quit.
Walt died unexpectedly when I was 26 years old. And one of Our Lord's Most Greatest Blessings to me that I will forever cherish is that a year prior to his death, we were able to forgive each other for all the torment we had put each other through. He never did stop drinking; but during that last year of his life, we had such an wonderful understanding of each other. He knew that I loved him, and I knew that he loved me.
In 1994, Our Lord moved me to Birmingham; and while I don't remember the exact date, it was in mid-'94 that I publicly gave my heart and my life to Our Lord. It may be shocking for some of y'all to read that I don't remember the exact date; but for as far back as I can remember, I have always believed in Jesus and have always looked to Him; even through the ick and the yuck. I even remember hiding in the closet from Shirley and singing, "Jesus Loves Me" to myself. HE has always been there for me; it just took me a bit longer than most to be able to put 2 and 2 together.
It was when I publicly gave my life to Our Lord that I realized that, as a professed Christian, there was more to it than just knowing that Jesus loves me. I had responsibilities. That is when I truly started having a personal relationship with Him; it is when I understood that Christians are called to live a life set apart from the world; and it is when I began to fully comprehend His Majesty and just exactly what He did for me when He died on the Cross.
(continued in next post)
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Cleaning Toy Figurines
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RE: Your Story - 8/5/2007 9:06:52 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26326
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(continued from previous post)
In 2000, Our Lord granted a desire of my heart that I had held for the previous 18 years . . . and He moved me out to The Beautiful Wild Wild West; specifically under the Shadows of the Grand Tetons in Wyoming. I've been living here for the past 7 years; specifically since May, 2000. Without a doubt it is the most beautiful place I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing and even living.
In 2002, I met CS. Five months later, we started dating. We fell in love and then married each other in 2004, on the 2nd anniversary of our first date. Many of y'all know that 2 years ago (6/13/05), CS took his life. I've written a lot about these past two years in my blog, so I won't repeat any of it here.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I'm sure that reading all of this at one time can be a bit "much" for some people. That certainly isn't my intent. But, as I mentioned earlier, it is my life . . . and Our Lord has been with me every step of the way.
Some people have questioned me as to why I could do deeply love a God who allowed all those things to happen to me. I don't see it that way. From time immemorial, Abba has bestowed on everyone the Gift of Free Will. And it is a a wonderous, precious GIFT!  I would much rather choose to love God than to be robotically forced to do so.
But again, Free Will is for every human ever born. Our Lord didn't cause those things to happen to me; he didn't cause those events to enter my life. People made choices; and many of those choices were for my harm. But that's ok. Our Lord tells us that He will take what was meant for harm and turn it to HIS Good. And while people (even including myself, sometimes) were making choices that caused me great harm, Our Lord was right there covering me and seeing me through all the ick and yuck.
Back in 2001, during one Sunday, I went up to the altar for prayer. Truthfully, I don't even think I knew why I was going; but I knew I needed to go. There was one man available; and as I started walking towards him, I started crying. He, on the other hand, started laughing. Literally, out loud. Neither one of us knew the other; neither one of us had ever even seen the other. He grabbed my hands and he said, "I don't know why you came up for prayer, but The Holy Spirit has just told me that the curses that were said over your life when you were 3 have been and will forever more be broken. The curses didn't take!" He couldn't stop laughing; he was so joyously overcome. I, on the other hand was completely stunned. And I also was receiving confirmation in my Spirit that what this man was saying to me was true and right.
Y'all may remember that the sexual abuse from the babysitters started when I was 3.
The curses didn't take! Even during that awful time so many years ago, Our Lord was right there protecting me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My life today is nowhere near the life I had. That is such a huge and wonderful Praise.
Today, I am Sharon-Marie, Daughter of the Most High King! Nothing else even begins to compare to that.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Our Lord has healed me of so much ick and yuck. He has also taught me how to forgive. I can truly say that I have forgiven all the people mentioned in this miniature life history recap. And as awful as those events written about were, they really are now "just" historical to me. They happened, and there's no reason to deny that they did. BUT!!! The terror and the shame and the fear that surrounded those events when they were happening are no longer part of my life.
THAT is because of Jesus and Jesus, alone!
I feel very strongly led to encourage each one of you who reads this, that if there is some past or current hurt(s) - whether to you or from your - that you haven't given completely over to Our Lord, to PLEASE do so. There is His Grace and His Mercy to be found in doing so. Perhaps even Forgiveness -for you and/or from you.
It is a MOST WONDERFUL place to be.
HIS Peace and HIS Joy, y'all.
Sharon-Marie
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Cleaning Toy Figurines
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RE: Your Story - 8/5/2007 9:19:18 PM
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Qtman
Posts: 10960
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
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{{{Sharon Marie}}}
Thanks for sharing that story. It took courage I know for you to tell us all of that and I admire and respect that. God's love to you.
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Please Remember our Military Past and Present. ALL gave some, SOME gave all.
Qtman's Musings
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RE: Your Story - 8/5/2007 9:19:53 PM
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Kerrlaw1
Posts: 8701
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
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Sharon-Marie:
Thank you so much for your willingness to share the trials, tribulations and blessings of your life.
Everyone has a story, and everyone has difficulties, but you had way more than your share of the devil's work.
Praise God that he pursued you with the "hounds of Heaven" and led you to where you are today.
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My head is so full of knowledge that it has leaked into the rest of my body...
...So I'm not getting fatter, just smarter.
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RE: Your Story - 8/5/2007 9:24:49 PM
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Qtman
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From: Crimson Tide Country
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Amen and Amen
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Please Remember our Military Past and Present. ALL gave some, SOME gave all.
Qtman's Musings
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RE: Your Story - 8/5/2007 9:27:38 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26326
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Sam and Kerr,
Thank you very much both of y'all.
It's all about Our Lord and what He's done.
Y'all's encouragements mean a lot to me.
Thank you both for reading everything.
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Cleaning Toy Figurines
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RE: Your Story - 8/5/2007 9:50:41 PM
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MissGizmo
Posts: 7808
Joined: 8/12/2006
From: Roanoke, Virginia
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Sharon-Marie I just read what you have posted. God loves you, and so do I. I'm sorry your life has had more than your fair share of problems, but you have been made a beatiful woman from all of the trials. You have been a blessing to me and I hope that I can in some way be a blessing to you also.
{{{{{{{{{{ Sharon-Marie}}}}}}}}}}
from your friend Ruth
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RE: Your Story - 8/5/2007 10:26:19 PM
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zmanfan38
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From: ...for it's root, root, root for the CUBBIES!!!
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(((((Shar-Mar))))) Thank you for sharing your story. I thought sharing my story would be too hard, but now I think I will. Just looking for the right words. Praise The Lord for what He has brought you through!!!!
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Looking for tips on moving out of state. <--LINK
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RE: Your Story - 8/6/2007 12:26:23 AM
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hoppersfan
Posts: 1056
Joined: 6/27/2006
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{{{Sharon-Marie}}}
All I can say is, you have my utmost admiration and respect. What a testimony you have.
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RE: Your Story - 8/6/2007 1:57:09 AM
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singLOUD
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Joined: 7/12/2006
From: Baton Rouge
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
I feel very strongly led to encourage each one of you who reads this,
I have been trying to decide what this marvelous gift you possess is. Is it your writing ability? Your cheery smile? Your willingness to share so much of who you are? Then I realized through your own words that you are most of all truly gifted as an encourager. Thank you for your obedience to His call and for encouraging us here in this forum.
zzzzzzzzz
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You are only as old as you sing!
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RE: Your Story - 8/6/2007 10:03:48 AM
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AmyR
Posts: 1798
Joined: 3/8/2007
From: Wichita, KS
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Thank you, Sharon-Marie ... And thanks to L5FanLady for her story, too. "Y'all" will be in my thoughts more than previously!
I knew there were some stories waiting to be told ... But I know it can't always be easy to share such things, too. I appreciate it. And it ought to make all the rest of us aware that the people around us may have been through far more than we can imagine. I don't believe it is ever a Christian's responsibility to "pass judgment" on his fellow man. It's about spiritual leaders that we're told "by their fruits ye shall know them." But I've found there is always some fact about my fellowmen that I don't know ... something in their background, maybe, or just an issue they have to deal with ... And I don't think I've ever "condemned" some one that I haven't been sorry later. Understand me: I know that some things are inconsistent with a profession of salvation, and a church has the responsibility to uphold its standards, but even then I don't know all the circumstances. I like a quote from Samuel Johnson: "Even God, sir, does not presume to judge man until the end of his days."
< Message edited by cloverleaffarms -- 8/6/2007 10:11:11 AM >
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Amy
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RE: Your Story - 8/6/2007 2:32:44 PM
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AmyR
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Joined: 3/8/2007
From: Wichita, KS
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Now I'm afraid it looks like I had been secretly looking down on somebody! That wasn't what I meant at all. But there are a lot of people whose stories reveal that at moments in their past someone could have labeled them "hopeless," or taken an "I'm better than you" attitude without having any idea what they had suffered - or the plans that God had for them in the future.
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Amy
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RE: Your Story - 8/6/2007 5:43:23 PM
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DahBassSinger
Posts: 352
Joined: 9/17/2006
From: Southern California
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Only a bit about me. Nah, let me tell you a bit about how my prophetic dream came to be.
When we formed our quartet two years ago we left a quartet who was only singing to glorify the manager, all we ever heard was how great he [the manager was or had been], when he stole the quartet name, equipment and bank account without telling us, well that was our clue to leave.
We did just that… and started our new quartet with Jesus Christ at the center and ministry at the center of what we were doing. When we were “commissioned” into music ministry by our church body we asked for the guidance of the Holy Spirit in all we were to do and we were given a word that as long as Jesus Christ was glorified and that He was at the center of our efforts… “we would prosper and all our needs would be met”.
Well, all I can say is the last two years have been amazing and we are finishing our second CD project, we have everything we need to do our music ministry; a fine PA, Yamaha Motif8 keyboard, wireless mics, etc., and it has been supplied by following the Holy Spirit, His guidance and teaching is all we have followed and His guidance is all we have needed.
It all started as a prophetic dream I had seven years ago. When I shared this dream with our piano player, who incidentally is the mother of our now lead singer, she told me flat out... “nice dream, but it will NEVER happen”. Not one to give up on the vision and sound I had heard in my dream, I continued to pray for the next five years...
When the break up of the former group took place the Holy Spirit reached out and touched the hearts of the daughter and son-in-law and they approached us, wanting to sing with us. This without knowing anything that had just taken place with the other quartet. Miracles can and do happen.
We met for the first time one day later on August 31, 2005. Four months later we had our first CD and was scheduled to sing at the Great Western Fan Festival in Fresno, California. As was already said, we have followed the leading of the Holy Spirit and the bounty that has followed is to the Glory of God. AMEN
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RE: Your Story - 8/6/2007 6:22:39 PM
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DahBassSinger
Posts: 352
Joined: 9/17/2006
From: Southern California
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Herr Kerr;
Vielen Dank deshalb viel für die gütigen Wörter. Was wir machen, ist, Gott zu verherrlichen, und nicht Mann. Es ist nett zu hören, dass Sie denken, dass wir eine gute Aufgabe von den Musikaspekten von diesem Ministerium machen.
Ups sorry... approximately translated;
Mr. Kerr;
Thank you so much for the kind words. What we do is to glorify God and not man. It's nice to hear that you think we do a good job of the music aspects of this ministry.
I'll look into the check not being cashed, but anyway it's more important that you were enriched in some small way by our offering to and for Him.
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RE: Your Story - 8/6/2007 6:31:06 PM
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Qtman
Posts: 10960
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
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Baß-Sänger wurde ich mit Ihnen Beherrschung vom deutschsprachigen beeindruckt. Ich hoffe, daß Herr Kerr es schätzt.
_____________________________
Please Remember our Military Past and Present. ALL gave some, SOME gave all.
Qtman's Musings
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RE: Your Story - 8/6/2007 6:45:06 PM
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Kerrlaw1
Posts: 8701
Joined: 5/24/2006
From: Big Orange Country
Status: offline
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I believe that to avoid a TOS, that you should be posting HERE
_____________________________
My head is so full of knowledge that it has leaked into the rest of my body...
...So I'm not getting fatter, just smarter.
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RE: Your Story - 8/6/2007 7:25:00 PM
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DahBassSinger
Posts: 352
Joined: 9/17/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline
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QTman; quote:
Baß-Sänger wurde ich mit Ihnen Beherrschung vom deutschsprachigen beeindruckt. Ich hoffe, daß Herr Kerr es schätzt.
Very good Sir, My German is very rusty, but serviceable at times. Yours is much better. To your point I don't know if Herr Kerr appreciates it or not, but I know he got a chuckle out of it anyway. You know he's a pretty smart guy.
Praying in tongues? Oh yes, I do that too! What else is a Pentecostal to do?
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Thank you for being so open and honest about your life. 
And of course pay by check.
