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WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: Your Story (8/5/2007 9:02:56 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: L5FanLady
This thread is for personal blessings that you would love to share with everyone.[:)] So what's your story?[;)]
This has been a great thread to read! I have very much enjoyed reading everyone's posts.
You'll notice that I've bolded part of the quote. I love Blessings threads! [sm=flower.gif]
I'm sure I will have Blessings from Our Lord to post in here as time goes on. [sm=icon_smile_sing.gif]
I do view telling my story different than sharing the blessings in my life; however, after walking around for a few days thinking and praying about it, I have decided to do both in this thread. I will first give y'all an introduction of who I am.
Many of the things that I will write about regarding my story can be found in my blog, or in that Ramblin' chat thread over in the Personally For You folder, or even admist some other threads if the OPs were relevant to any part of who I am. I'm pretty much an open book, as I believe Our Lord has directed me to be available to tell any part of my life whenever asked, whenever appropriate or even whenever necessary. And as, I mentioned, I have prayed about whether or not to post "my story" (in its entirety) here. I do feel that I am supposed to do just that.
PLEASE NOTE: Much of what you will read will not be "pretty" . . . and some parts may even be a bit graphic. It is, however, my life; and I truly hope that after you read it, you will realize how Our Lord has brought me through absolutely every part of it and that you will also join me in giving HIM thanks and Praise for His Hand in my life.
For YOUR Honor and YOUR Glory, Lord.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I was adopted, when I was 3 months old, by my maternal grandmother and her second husband (Shirley & Walt).
Both Walt and Shirley were alcoholics. Shirley was also physically violent, and I was extremely afraid of her.
When I was 3 years old, two male babysitters, in their mid-to-late teens, started babysitting me; and so began a two-year period of sexual abuse towards me, from both of them. One of my very first memories ever is of that time period. Thanks be to Our Lord Jesus Christ, it no longer has any power over me at all; and I don't particularly try to relive that time period.
Around the time that I was 8, Shirley was diagnosed with lung cancer; and was bed-ridden for the rest of her life. She died when I was 10. Hers was the first death I had experienced first-hand; and it wasn't until after the funeral when the priest told me it was ok if I cried, that I realized that most people are sad when someone dies. For me, regarding Shirley, the only thing I felt was immense relief.
Walt's reaction to Shirley's death was to go deeper and deeper into the bottle. He continued to drink and drink even more. I was pretty much left to take care of myself. I was once told by my godmother who knew of the situation that I was never to tell anyone because Social Services would come and take me away from my dad and that would break his heart and that would be my responsibility if it ever happened. So I never told anyone; not while Walt was alive.
When I was 13 and in the 9th grade, I was gang-raped by 3 boys who were in the 10th and 11th grades. After it was over, one of them told me that they expected me to have sex with all of them whenever they wanted. When I told them that would never happened, the "leader" beat me and told me that if I didn't do what they wanted, they would kill me. So that was basically my life for the next 3 months; this happened almost every day after school. Sometimes there was also physical violence. One day, I decided that I truly would rather be dead than to submit any longer to what they were doing; and so I told "the leader" to go ahead and kill me because I had enough. That was the first time in my life that I ever stood up to anyone. I did get beat up one last time; but after that none of them ever bothered me again. (Sadly, about 20 years ago, I learned that a couple of these boys were serving prison sentences for sexually abusing mentally-retarded adults.)
When I was 14, a family moved in down the street from me. They truly were a gift from Our Lord! The mother was absolutely the kindest and most loving person I had ever met. I would spend inordinate amounts of time at their house; and they never once told me to go home. They even fed me most nights. I think about that every now and then. Back then, I had no concept of money and what it must have cost to continually feed me . . . for years on end. Nor did I know about family time or anything like that. Back then, in my mind, I liked these people, I felt safe around them and so I decided to basically live with them for about 4-5 hours most every day after school. They all pretty much went on with their lives and included me in it. If the mother wasn't home, I'd go out and hang around with the father while he did farm chores and such. I played with their kids; 3 of them and me . . . all within about 4 years of age to each other. This family was my personal safety haven where no one could hurt me.
At 18, I married a boy I barely knew. I married him to move away from home. By this time, Walt and I were almost enemies with each other. In my mind, I was going to leave and never come back.
15 months later, my first husband and I were divorced. It had started to become physically violent; and I had promised myself a couple years earlier that no one was ever going to physically hurt me again; so I left my husband and we divorced. I went back to my homestate and moved in with Walt again.
(continued in next post)
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