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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/5/2007 12:36:56 PM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1292
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From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
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quote:
The disadvantage with public school is that when they get home, they still have homework to do, which will cut into the time you can spend with them as family. And assuming that they will need your help with that, it could be more taxing on you. You won't have the option of saying let's wait til Mommy takes a nap, or we can do it tomorrow, since their homework has to be turned in the next day. I just thought I'd throw that thought out there, because it may not be something you thought of before
Yes, narnia, I was thinking this as well. A ps schedule certainly would infringe on my freedom to spend personal time
with the kids as well as what I can do in that time. It would also short change the evening to make sure they are in
bed in time to get up early and off the next day. Plus the ps schedule of assignments, projects, activities and days off
that may not correspond to my strength and need for rest time.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/5/2007 1:05:08 PM
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Ellie-Mae
Posts: 4245
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: The EMPIRE state!
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Oh, dear... I am going to sound like a commercial... again.
We use BJU HomeSat. I don't think that I could have kept up with hsing if God hadn't dropped it into my lap when He did. The first year we used it, I had a rough pregnancy that kept me in bed a lot, I also had kidney stones, a rough ending to my pregnancy, and a hysterectomy 6 months later. Plus we moved, remodeled the house, took care of AS who was completely bedridden for a while... It was a rough year. The nice thing about BJU Homesat is that even a 7 year old can do the work on their own with you to check it and answer questions. It is so much fun that my little ones beg to do school. You can lay down and watch the fun classes with your kids. I love watching the classes whenever I get a chance.
I don't know where this might fit in with what you are going through (if it fits at all), but I thought that I would throw it out there just in case.
Now back to your regularly scheduled thread...
_____________________________
Isaiah 40:29
He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/5/2007 2:00:48 PM
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Christina124
Posts: 28
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Ok, I hate to ask this but, I am going to have to....is your husband wanting you to put them in PS because he wants you to have more time to heal without stress? Does he want them to go ahead and transition because he won't he able to home school the children by himself? Or both?
I asked my husband to pray for you and he read your posts. That was his question as a husband. We actually discussed what we would do if I had to be with the Lord and he said he could not home school the kids and work....he would want me to do the same thing with the children. When I told him that I would feel the same as you, wanting them with me every moment I can, he said the PS would probably work with the parent in this situation to make it as easy as possible for everyone. I would have a hard time letting go too because it is my hearts desire as well to home school my children until they move on to college. But, I understand where my husband was coming from. AND I also understand where you are coming from, as a parent myself, because I would feel the same way.
If you want to HS them, do you have family that can come help you AND HS them later (If, God forbid, you went to the Lord).
This whole issue is a touchy, emotional one so, forgive me if I did not word something right....I do not want upset anyone at all.
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/5/2007 2:40:36 PM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1292
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Ellie-Mae, I never even thought of BJU homesat. That's one more thing to look into.
Let me get back later to everyone's thoughts.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/5/2007 4:15:57 PM
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BCMOM
Posts: 125
Joined: 8/27/2005
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Doveflight, I have been watching this thread and praying for your family wondering what I could offer you in terms of help/support other than my prayers.
It occured to me that I also belong to a Canadian home school chat board where a Christian Mom has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Her husband posts and gives us updates. He is very strong in his faith. Perhaps your husband or yourself might be interested in connecting with this family? If you would like I could approach him about it. You can respond here or PM and let me know that way. I am sure they struggle with the same questions you do regarding education now and in the future. The other thing I could do is give you a link to the site where yo uor your husband could just read his posts.
God Bless
Laurie
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/6/2007 12:29:49 AM
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drumplayersmom
Posts: 41
Joined: 1/23/2006
From: Eastern NC
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I am praying for you doveflight...
I can't imagine the heartache you are going thru...
Be encouraged your Heavenly Father knows where you are and what your going thru
and He will not leave you. When depression and despair seem to close in keep your
eyes on Him turn up the praise music and know that He does hear and answer your
prayers
In Him
Heidi
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/6/2007 6:44:07 AM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1292
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From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
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quote:
Be encouraged your Heavenly Father knows where you are and what your going thru
and He will not leave you. When depression and despair seem to close in keep your
eyes on Him turn up the praise music and know that He does hear and answer your
prayers
Thank you Heidi, I continually remind my heart and mind of this fact. My headphones
help considerably.
Thanks Laurie for the link. I registered but have not read yet, as I need to be in a
strong place to begin. Headphones later when the children are occupied.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/6/2007 6:51:34 AM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1292
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From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
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quote:
Ok, I hate to ask this but, I am going to have to....is your husband wanting you to put them in PS because he wants you to have more time to heal without stress? Does he want them to go ahead and transition because he won't he able to home school the children by himself? Or both?
Christina,
My husband is another issue. For purposes of this thread he is an unbeliever who attends
a church. We are on altogether different playing fields and I receive very little emotional
or other support from him. I am trying to prepare the children for many changes.
As far as their education he desires something that requires the least of him in time and
money. We have discussed that even public school is not free of dedicated support and
will require much of him if the children are to succeed. We are considering a public
school district where academics and support seem to be available and I have a friend
in the special needs support group who would take a personal interest in my children.
The school district was my choice and his consent.
I appreciate your husbands viewpoint. It gives me considerable perspective.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/6/2007 8:12:28 AM
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sen10tious
Posts: 358
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Doveflight
sen10tious:
My heart cries to know the freedom to do this.
Then that is how I shall pray for you: To know freedom.
There is one other consideration I haven't seen brought up yet. This "transitioning" concept takes a very adult perspective of time. When I was a kid, the "future" was about two weeks ahead. The next Christmas or the end of the school year was very, very distant.
I know adults must plan ahead more than two weeks. That is why I'm not a big fan of letting young children or those older ones who don't yet have a career plan have too much say in their school choice. But the point here is that kids have a childlike concept of time.
As for me, doing my best to remember what it felt like to be 6 or 8, I'm pretty sure I would not have thought transitioning to a public school was helping me cope. I'm pretty sure it would have felt like I was being sent away. And I think I'd have interpreted it as losing mommy bit by bit. I think it would have spread my loss out over a very, very long time.
So I'm speaking in generalities and certainly a child's own temperament would alter this a little, but kids are remarkably resilient. If you have choices for your children that involve (1) long drawn-out transition, (2) brief preparation, or (3) instant shock, I'd go for (2) - the briefest amount will probably be easiest to a child's accounting of time and allows each day to take care of itself.
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/6/2007 10:08:30 AM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1292
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
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quote:
As for me, doing my best to remember what it felt like to be 6 or 8, I'm pretty sure I would not have thought transitioning to a public school was helping me cope. I'm pretty sure it would have felt like I was being sent away. And I think I'd have interpreted it as losing mommy bit by bit. I think it would have spread my loss out over a very, very long time.
So I'm speaking in generalities and certainly a child's own temperament would alter this a little, but kids are remarkably resilient. If you have choices for your children that involve (1) long drawn-out transition, (2) brief preparation, or (3) instant shock, I'd go for (2) - the briefest amount will probably be easiest to a child's accounting of time and allows each day to take care of itself.
You are so right, sen10ious, and this is the policy I am applying for my little ones. They know I am receiving more
medicine and that I get tired and need help. They know we are looking for a new house, which was in the cards this
year even before my diagnosis because of a preplanned career change for my husband. The location and type of
home has shifted and we are discussing how sometimes we don't get to do everything we had hoped or planned
as expected and that everyone's needs and wishes are being considered.
My 18 year old knows that my cancer is more aggressive than expected and has finally come to terms that there
is no cure for ovarian cancer as of yet. He also knows that this recurrence has shortened my window of opportunity
but I have not told him how much, like frontloading my option cards at the beginning of the million dollar game instead of optimizing their timing throughout the game. I could not bring myself to have an announcement of his mothers pending death associated with his 18th birthday celebration. Our conversations have focused on achieving his plans and needs for
the changes ahead in his life this spring as we also make family adjustments.
For all I'm find myself making even more opportunities to tell them how much I love and appreciate them.jAnd how God has always proven Himself to us through every other issue in our lives and He will here too.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/6/2007 10:58:18 AM
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Christina124
Posts: 28
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Doveflight
quote:
Ok, I hate to ask this but, I am going to have to....is your husband wanting you to put them in PS because he wants you to have more time to heal without stress? Does he want them to go ahead and transition because he won't he able to home school the children by himself? Or both?
Christina,
My husband is another issue. For purposes of this thread he is an unbeliever who attends
a church. We are on altogether different playing fields and I receive very little emotional
or other support from him. I am trying to prepare the children for many changes.
As far as their education he desires something that requires the least of him in time and
money. We have discussed that even public school is not free of dedicated support and
will require much of him if the children are to succeed. We are considering a public
school district where academics and support seem to be available and I have a friend
in the special needs support group who would take a personal interest in my children.
The school district was my choice and his consent.
I appreciate your husbands viewpoint. It gives me considerable perspective.
I am SO sorry to hear this but, at least, I am glad he consented to your choice.
I still agree with everyone here....follow your heart; I would.
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/6/2007 1:10:46 PM
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amybreit
Posts: 994
Joined: 2/10/2006
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Doveflight - I'm praying for you, your kids & your husband. You've received some good ideas here. These ladies are an excellent sounding board & support! Keep us posted & let us know how we can help (especially how we can pray, since we aren't there IRL)!
_____________________________
<------ Staci & Stoli, our k9 kids!
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/9/2007 6:42:23 PM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1292
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
Status: offline
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I have been gleaning information. I now have contacts in the school district where we are currently homeschooling for general counsel which may apply to our situation. I have also spoken with a teacher from the high school in the district where we are considering moving; he is finding a teacher in the elementary school for me to just chat with about the school and student body. I have interviewed a real estate agent who has put us in her search engine. this is the info gathering stage.
The social worker at the clinic spoke to me today with much more info. She had even solicited info from a private school locally to see if they could receive a homeschooled student even late into the year to finish up if I was too ill to keep up. She and the nurses are concerned that this treatment will be very hard on me. I can attest that today's first treatment was harder on me than any of the individual treatments previously except my very last one last year when the toxic levels were so intense. She also gave me info on understanding how children at all age levels may respond to illness and what they may understand or not when given information. I am overwhelmed with new info and additonal reading material. My friend said she would read through the literture and synthesize it for me and I will make the phone contacts. Another friend will help me with the realtor and visiting homes.
I am so blessed with my support system. They love me and they love my kids. I am building a community of support for my kids whereever they are going to be plugged in so even if they don't know it, many people will have there eyes out for them when I am gone. I'm really feeling hopeful right now that this treatment will be effective and my time window will expand. A nurse told me that a friend of hers has a very serious cancer for several years and just htis year something came out that is greatly increasing his chances for more time. There is always hope and faith in what God can do. I would like very much to walk with my children through this very different life as long as I possibly can.
The question of how soon to jump is still up in the air. I am waiting for God's timing.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/9/2007 8:19:41 PM
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crankius
Posts: 4150
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Hello Dove,
I don't often post in the homeschooling folder, but I have been reading this thread and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
IS CHURCH YOUR IDOL?
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/9/2007 9:33:28 PM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1292
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: crankius
Hello Dove,
I don't often post in the homeschooling folder, but I have been reading this thread and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Thank you.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/9/2007 10:10:10 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1264
Joined: 5/27/2006
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Thanks for sharing with us how God is answering our prayers. He is sending you lots of real life support and giving you the knowledge you need to make a plan that satisfies your mind as well as your heart. Thank you Jesus for meeting all of doveflights needs, and sending her lots of love to carry her through each day!
May His grace uphold you in all your ways and may all your best hopes come true.
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/9/2007 10:15:19 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7477
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: offline
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Yes, thank you for sharing with us. You are in my prayers.
_____________________________
It’s not all good. In fact a lot of it is really bad. If you think it’s all good, you haven’t been paying attention.
See the baby eagles: http://wavelit.com/index.php?view=EaglesNestLive
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/9/2007 10:28:15 PM
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awed
Posts: 9053
Joined: 4/8/2005
From: Wisconsin
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I'm reading and praying for you too Doveflight. It was in Maggie's thread that I first became aware that you are battling cancer. When I read your explanation to Cynthia in this thread, and gave your timetables of what was happening I was taken aback a bit as I have a beloved niece who is battling breast cancer. She was diagnosed in Sept 05 also, had both breasts removed, did chemo and radiation and in August of 06 was told of recurrance and has now had 2 more surgeries to remove expanders that were in because fluid gathered around the expanders and had cancer cells in that fluid. The second one while she had already begun new rounds of chemo.
I found myself so incredibly humbled by my niece and her courage, and I find myself incredibly humbled by you also.
I am so thankful that you have such wonderful support both non cyber and here.
You truly are in my prayers.
(((((Doveflight)))))
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/10/2007 4:21:59 AM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1292
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
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I am so amazed when people have told me how my situation is impacted them.
I am very focused on the needs of my family and what I need to do if I must prepare
in limited time. I am awed of God when I see everyday how He not only gives me
that day, but provides help and support for each need. When I let my mind wonder
down 2 years, a year or even six months I become extremely emotional; but if I
deal only with this day I am able to remain somewhat stable. It is only the moments
of looking on my children or seeing them need to learn/do something we would not
have had to deal with before and how it is changing their lives or realizing in a flash
moment what I will miss that I get weepy. I think God understands that and knows
it is not my weakness in my trust of Him. I don't understand why He is doing this
to my children and I wish I had that big picture but since I don't the here and
now is essential to consume my attention.
Thanks to all for your prayers, support and information.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/10/2007 8:23:11 AM
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alfecia
Posts: 29
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Doveflight, Thank you for reminding me that my problems aren't as big as they seem. Thank you for reminding me that My God is in control. Thank you for being open and honest and sharing your struggles. Because as you have said, it is in those struggles that we really find God. Thank you for the reminder.
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/18/2007 12:55:01 PM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1292
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
Status: offline
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I spent the last weekend driving around my intended school district, we have two listings to
view this coming sunday. On the other hand, during the drive, I learned that a middle school
in the rural suburb is really in the same school district I am in. There is also a rural elementary
school which I was not aware were included in the same district. This widens our housing
prospect and also offers the smaller elementary/middle schools that I wanted with the
programs in the city schools. I have requested an interview with the elementary
superintendent for Monday for more info gathering.
My sons private music instructor is really encouraging me to stay in the city school system
for his potential activities. She says it is very hard to keep a passion growing and involved
in the surrounding schools as music is not their primary focus whereas sports is. The students
in these other schools who love music do not receive the programs, instruction, encouragement
or academic support they would in the city district who has a regional if not national known
music program with a strolling strings group that has played for presidents. My biggest concern
in this respect is my daughter's ability to cope with the big city issues in the high school.
She is the student, outragiously beautiful and intelligent, with definite neurological issues.
But that is six years down the road. With a new home, less stress on me and the grounds
that being gained in the cancer field, maybe.........
Thank you for everyone's prayers. I do so appreciate the spiritual support as that is where
the biggest struggle is as I cope with all the ramifications of this diagnosis. If I can stay
spiritually firm and strong, then I can handle all the other emotional and physical concerns
as well.
Meanwhile, we are scheduling college interviews for my oldest and also investigating
cyber schools and requesting interviews there for transitional years.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/18/2007 1:20:57 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7477
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: offline
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Doveflight, You are an amazing woman. Many people would be so wrapped up in their own pain during this time that they wouldn't realize what power they have to impact their children's lives, even if it happens that they are not there. You are providing wonderfully for your children. When they grow up, they will speak your name with honor and call you their blesssed mother.
_____________________________
It’s not all good. In fact a lot of it is really bad. If you think it’s all good, you haven’t been paying attention.
See the baby eagles: http://wavelit.com/index.php?view=EaglesNestLive
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RE: Transitioning in life - 1/18/2007 1:22:09 PM
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bzirk
Posts: 2733
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Where the deer and antelope play
Status: offline
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Dove,
I will pray for you as well and put you on our prayer chain here as well.
I also echo Heidi's post. The Lord is with you and not just to comfort but give guidance. You are far from making these decisions on your own.
I realize you know that, but I hope it's encouragement to hear it over and over.
Many blessings, and let us know how you're doing when you can.
_____________________________
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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RE: Transitioning in life - 2/7/2007 5:46:52 PM
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Doveflight
Posts: 1292
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: middle of nowhere 4 hrs from anywhere
Status: offline
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These past few weeks have been spent trying to wrap my mind around this issue and come to grips with this major change in our lives. We have found a house in the school district we want and are writing a contract offer this evening. We cannot register the children there until we have an address in the district. So if I decide to register my daughter for fall we need an address this spring.
I am so torn desiring to have my children with me all day as long as possible. A shock came my way when a woman I know with the same cancer was still working full time at Thanksgiving, took a turn for the worse and passed away on Feb 2. She was in hospice only one week. It happened so fast. So now I am aware that the decline may not be a lingering process that allows me time to transition at the last moment. I need to be ahead. There is also good news that women who have my diagnosis are doing well six years later due to advances in this area of cancer treatment. One just never knows. Lately I've been thinking that my daughter entering third grade next year and being so demanding with her ADD/ADHD may receive the attentive instruction shared by a staff during the day allowing me time to spend undivided time with my youngest, something he has never known as he is always vying for my attention with duaghter around. Also daughter will be the hardest to transition into a new environment and with new teachers and I can have the energy to walk this with her this year.
Does any of this make sense? My next step is to tour the elementary school and meet the principle and the teacher.
_____________________________
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I am made for another world. C.S. Lewis
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