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Laughing is MY hobby. : ) - 9/24/2006 12:00:37 AM
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BugLady
Posts: 2706
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Two nuns, a penguin, a man with a parrot on his shoulder and a giraffe walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
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• Human trafficking is the 3rd largest source of income for organized crime, generating $7 billion a year.
International Justice Mission
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RE: Laughing is MY hobby. : ) - 9/24/2006 12:24:43 AM
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BugLady
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It's not a parable, silly. : ) It's a joke. Do you really not get it? Think about it.
_____________________________
• Human trafficking is the 3rd largest source of income for organized crime, generating $7 billion a year.
International Justice Mission
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RE: Hey! I've got a joke. : ) - 9/24/2006 9:10:08 PM
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pc-queen
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I just noticed this thread. A girlfriend sent me this one the other day. It's not exactly a joke but it did make me laugh out loud.
=========
The World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, "Will you marry me?"
The guy said "No"
and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed skinny, and was never farted on.
The End
============
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Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/24/2006 10:18:34 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 983
Joined: 8/13/2005
From: Georgia
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: Psalms274
Oh goodness gracious ... y'all have Johnno-itis  ... I will be praying for the release of the pun-virus. 
Wow I've got my own thread and now I've got my own disease. How cool is that!
Personally, I am keeping my fingers crossed so I don't catch it myself ... does it spead like kooties?
Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in their garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his grandmother.
"No, honey, he won't do for bait," his mother said. "He's not an earthworm."
"He's not?" Eddy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet is he from?"
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
< Linus w/ a friends baby!
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/24/2006 10:21:49 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7701
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Psalms274
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Wow I've got my own thread and now I've got my own disease. How cool is that!
Personally, I am keeping my fingers crossed so I don't catch it myself ... does it spead like kooties?
Face it Kasia, you're doomed, you're hanging around with me and you're already Polish. Destiny awaits. Embrace your inner punster.
_____________________________
Resistance is futile (if less than .25 ohms)
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/24/2006 10:24:25 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7701
Joined: 9/5/2006
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Why We Love Children
1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I ****ed in its ear and it didn't move! ," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pss st!' and it didn't move."
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad...." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him: "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming ! the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled ! and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a **** to iron."
6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room. I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can
find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
_____________________________
Resistance is futile (if less than .25 ohms)
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/24/2006 10:29:46 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 983
Joined: 8/13/2005
From: Georgia
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quote:
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room. I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
I have two things to say ... 1st ... when were you pregnant? and 2nd quote:
Embrace your inner punster I am keeping my fingers crossed ... I don't do that new age thing. 
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
< Linus w/ a friends baby!
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/24/2006 11:48:53 PM
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BugLady
Posts: 2706
Joined: 12/5/2005
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Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten by a rattlesnake. "Ill go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby. "I can't leave," the doctor says, "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim cries. "He says you're going to die."
_____________________________
• Human trafficking is the 3rd largest source of income for organized crime, generating $7 billion a year.
International Justice Mission
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/25/2006 12:22:05 AM
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NiceGuy
Posts: 667
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Great State of Confusion
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***Incoming Message from the Big Giant Head ***
quote:
ORIGINAL: BugLady
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten by a rattlesnake. "Ill go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby. "I can't leave," the doctor says, "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim cries. "He says you're going to die."
lol
NiceGuy 
_____________________________
Look, I brought a Sombrero! Now we can both be "cool"! - Hobbes, of Calvin and Hobbes
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/25/2006 10:45:09 AM
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John_O
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The optimist says "Good morning God"
The pessimist says "Good God, morning"
_____________________________
Resistance is futile (if less than .25 ohms)
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/25/2006 10:16:52 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 983
Joined: 8/13/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
The optimist says "Good morning God"
The pessimist says "Good God, morning"
Well, at least the pessimist is aware that God is good!
A nun who works for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.
The attendant regretfully told her that the only can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried it back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car two men walked by. One of them turned to the other and said: "Now that is what I call faith!"
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
< Linus w/ a friends baby!
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/27/2006 11:16:11 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7701
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Psalms274
^ I think this joke was a subtle way for John to tell us his brain is worth a lot of money!
Farmers Fred and Luke were fishing on the side of the road. They made a sign saying "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!," and showed it to each passing car.
One driver that passed didn't appreciate the sign and shouted, "Leave us alone you religious nuts!"
All of a sudden they heard a big splash.
Fred grinned at Luke. "Do you think we should just put up a sign that says: 'Bridge Out' instead?"
I like it. Fred's grin is what really makes it hilarious
_____________________________
Resistance is futile (if less than .25 ohms)
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/30/2006 6:26:19 PM
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teaspoon61
Posts: 641
Joined: 5/11/2005
From: S.C.
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This is the fairy tale us girls should have been told to us when we were little:
Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry
and set up housekeeping in your castle
with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "
~~~~~~~~
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and thought to herself:
"I don't think so."
Gotta love that princess! 
_____________________________
<--- Lucky
Bloom where you are planted! 
We cannot control the outcome of our prayers, but in faith we can expect great things.
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/30/2006 9:50:15 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 983
Joined: 8/13/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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here were two good ol' boys from warmer climes who loved to fish. They wanted to do some ice fishing that they'd heard about in Canada, so they took off to try it.
The lake was frozen nicely, so they stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their bait and tackle.
One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick."
After they got their equipment, they took off.
In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."
He sold him the picks, and the good ol' boy left.
In about an hour, he was back at the shop agaain and said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."
The shop owner couldn't believe it. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"
"Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the stupid boat in the water yet."
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
< Linus w/ a friends baby!
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: Are YOU laughing? : ) - 9/30/2006 10:22:58 PM
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John_O
Posts: 7701
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Psalms274
"Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the stupid boat in the water yet."
This is great!!. My sister is an avid icefisherwoman. (I think the cold up in Northern Wisconsin has gotten to her.) she'll love this!!
_____________________________
Resistance is futile (if less than .25 ohms)
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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