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RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread

 
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RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/26/2006 10:28:28 PM   
Onecontent

 

Posts: 44
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		I hope that Christ will be your comfort to you as you all deal with being single.

I have the opposite issue: I have had to stop feeling guilty at being so happy about being single. When I was in my 20s, I made it a habit to thank the Lord that I did NOT have a husband and children nor a boyfriend nor a date for the evening. I am even more grateful today.

I thank Him that I live in a era where I can go to "dinner and a movie" alone, or purchase one theater ticket, or go to Universal Studios or Disney World by myself. Hopefully I will be able to rationalize the cost of cruising alone in a couple of years.

I am praying that God will continue to keep my mouth shut so I do not tell my relatives how unimportant and irrelevant their opinions are about my singleness. I know they do not understand because their marriages and families are a source of great happiness. Some of my female relatives apparently did NOTHING other than search for a mate in their pre-marital days . No short term missions, no education, no travel, no working at a low wage paying non-profit. I pray that I never have to tell them how different our experiences of singleness are and that I do not envy them.

I graciously accept Happy Mothers Day greetings and I pray that I am tactful when I am not properly upset at never having given birth. It really bothers people when single Christians reveal that they are not upset that God did not call them to parenthood. I just wish other people realized the call childlessness before they had children.

Find reasons to be thankful for being single. Focus on what you have. Remember you are worthy because Christ declared you to be so. I hope that this helps a little.
Post #: 26
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/27/2006 10:11:29 AM   
barbi


Posts: 2285
Joined: 5/22/2005
From: New York
Status: offline 		We do and most of the time we are happy and thankful and everthing else.

Life has its ups and downs.
Post #: 27
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/27/2006 11:26:32 AM   
teaspoon61


Posts: 628
Joined: 5/11/2005
From: S.C.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: McCloud

Ladies I have a question for you. What about the Christian dating web sites? Are they any good? What do you think is a healthy age spread, five, ten, fifteen years?


I haven't tried any "Christian" web sites because I'm not ready to date. I think for those of us in our 40's a five to ten year age spread is healthy.

I did give into peer pressure from one friend who bugged me incessantly about "looking at what's out there". She kept telling me "just look" on dating websites.

So I did go to one web site (general dating) and put in the criteria for a man I would be looking for. There were a few must haves; Christian, non-smoker; employed full-time or self-employed; want's no more children ( I can't have any more) and in the 40-50 age range.

The profiles that came back were ok and there were a couple that sent up red flags.
What I found about half the time, and this will go back to a sterotype mentioned earlier, the men in the 40-50's age range were looking for women in their 30's that were slim/fit/athletic.

_____________________________

<--- Lucky

Bloom where you are planted!

We cannot control the outcome of our prayers, but in faith we can expect great things.
Post #: 28
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/27/2006 12:05:04 PM   
Brenda-lee


Posts: 1440
Joined: 6/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: McCloud

Ladies I have a question for you. What about the Christian dating web sites?


As mentioned a few others and myself are participating in what I call an experiment.... There is a thread called relationship.com I believe it was started by Spunky. You will get varied opinions on how us folks feel about internet dating websites - a very broad spectrum of views. I am not for or against them myself. I just want to explore what is out there - if blessed by God to make new christian fellowships, or blessed by God to meet the man intended for me (or the 'one' ) then I am all for that too! The way I see it either way I learn and grow, and make friends. Win Win in my book.

quote:

Are they any good?

What do you think is a healthy age spread, five, ten, fifteen years?


Everyones experience is different. You will have to check it out for yourself - You can come and join us at r.com -

As far as the age spread - What are you comfortable with?

_____________________________

BrendaLee
Post #: 29
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/28/2006 3:48:09 PM   
princessreba


Posts: 374
Joined: 11/30/2005
Status: offline 		I've met some decent people on relationships. com but I don't know if I'll go any farther
into it, just isn't for me, I guess.

_____________________________

Irish Princess-"If racing against mere men makes you tired, how will you race against horses? If you stumble & fall on open ground, what will you do in the thickets?" Jeremiah 12:5
Post #: 30
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/28/2006 6:53:42 PM   
Alison43


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I've been away from this site for a little while and I'm glad to have checked it out this evening. I had noticed that there wasn't much in the way of encoragment for the 40 plus group. I was feeling a little left out since I'm 43 and not married. Actually I'm devorced and sometimes I wonder if I will ever get married again. Sometimes I do feel lonely and depress from it and then like others here I do pray about it. It does help. And reading this forum has helped.
Post #: 31
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/28/2006 7:29:26 PM   
princessreba


Posts: 374
Joined: 11/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alison43

I've been away from this site for a little while and I'm glad to have checked it out this evening. I had noticed that there wasn't much in the way of encoragment for the 40 plus group. I was feeling a little left out since I'm 43 and not married. Actually I'm devorced and sometimes I wonder if I will ever get married again. Sometimes I do feel lonely and depress from it and then like others here I do pray about it. It does help. And reading this forum has helped.

Yes, I agree there needs to be a thread where us "40 somethings" can express our feelings!
This thread is great, thank you!

_____________________________

Irish Princess-"If racing against mere men makes you tired, how will you race against horses? If you stumble & fall on open ground, what will you do in the thickets?" Jeremiah 12:5
Post #: 32
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/28/2006 7:56:08 PM   
gaylel1


Posts: 1245
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline 		Thanks, Bride of Fire

Anyways, the reason why I created this thread is because I find sometimes here on this channel (and I'm not trying to be critical here, because I love everyone here--honest... ) we 40-somethings sometimes are cast off--I guess because sometimes the 20-somethings and the 30-somethings do not understand how we feel sometimes and we get kinda lost in the shuffle of things, KMIM? And in addition, 40's and even 50's has it hard as far as finding a mate after a divorce or god forbid, a death of a mate, which some experienced, like myself.

And then sometimes, the 20's and 30's are luckier in love than the 40's and 50's because some in our age group has given up on love and even on life because of the disapointments along the way. Not trying to single you out, 20's and 30's because we love you too and we respect your imput too .

This is why this thread is created, not about talking about dating services, not about talking about the reason why 40-somethings cannot get pregnant and discourged when their counter parts get taken by the younger, yes these things happen, but we need to be encouraged and be let known that we are important in the kingdom of God and are people too.

Agreed....



< Message edited by gaylel1 -- 6/28/2006 8:14:28 PM >

_____________________________

Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)

Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
Post #: 33
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/28/2006 8:36:10 PM   
valenciarose


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: here between orange groves and rose gardens
Status: offline 		There probably are not enough of us to form our own forum, but it would be a cool thought . Personally, my biggest challenge is that I know I need to WAIT at this time, but the desire is SO strong to date, but then, nobody has asked me out... so it is irrelevant, but then I often feel irrelevant to all but the Lord.
Post #: 34
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/28/2006 8:44:29 PM   
CoeurdeLeon_


Posts: 9467
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: offline 		I'm surprised there are so many of us here. I think I counted 15 who posted to this thread, including myself. That in itself is encouraging.

_____________________________

This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus






New Blog
Post #: 35
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/28/2006 8:52:07 PM   
gaylel1


Posts: 1245
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

I'm surprised there are so many of us here. I think I counted 15 who posted to this thread, including myself. That in itself is encouraging.



Yeah, mee too.....

_____________________________

Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)

Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
Post #: 36
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/28/2006 9:20:20 PM   
BtWthAPrice


Posts: 71
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Me 16!
Post #: 37
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/28/2006 9:21:26 PM   
adoration


Posts: 383
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline 		lol I think you guys are the majority amongst the regulars... most of my peers around here are married.

_____________________________

Dancing in my Father's arms.
Post #: 38
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/28/2006 9:41:08 PM   
makarizo


Posts: 3007
Joined: 4/13/2005
Status: offline 		I am 40, happily single, know lots of fellow forty singles in the christian circles up here.
I hope I can keep growing, keep learning, keep making friends, if I can do that, my life will still feel fulfulling.

_____________________________
Post #: 39
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/29/2006 8:04:45 AM   
princessreba


Posts: 374
Joined: 11/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: doer

I am 40, happily single, know lots of fellow forty singles in the christian circles up here.
I hope I can keep growing, keep learning, keep making friends, if I can do that, my life will still feel fulfulling.

Yes,"the I just have to be married" driving force is not as strong now that I'm confident of
my acceptance of who I am in Christ and my completeness in Him!

_____________________________

Irish Princess-"If racing against mere men makes you tired, how will you race against horses? If you stumble & fall on open ground, what will you do in the thickets?" Jeremiah 12:5
Post #: 40
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/30/2006 9:40:26 AM   
barbi


Posts: 2285
Joined: 5/22/2005
From: New York
Status: offline 		me 17!
Post #: 41
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/30/2006 10:44:09 AM   
gaylel1


Posts: 1245
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: doer

I am 40, happily single, know lots of fellow forty singles in the christian circles up here.
I hope I can keep growing, keep learning, keep making friends, if I can do that, my life will still feel fulfulling.


I wish I have more guy freinds than female freinds on here. I don't bite... I'm not taking away from the female freinds I met here and that is great that we sisters do support each other in our trials, but I don't hear often enough from the males, meaning I'm's

_____________________________

Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)

Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
Post #: 42
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/30/2006 4:16:24 PM   
princessreba


Posts: 374
Joined: 11/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gaylel1

quote:

ORIGINAL: doer

I am 40, happily single, know lots of fellow forty singles in the christian circles up here.
I hope I can keep growing, keep learning, keep making friends, if I can do that, my life will still feel fulfulling.


I wish I have more guy freinds than female freinds on here. I don't bite... I'm not taking away from the female freinds I met here and that is great that we sisters do support each other in our trials, but I don't hear often enough from the males, meaning I'm's

That's why it's called "the Brethren" not just "the sisthren" because it's both men and women
lending support to one another!!

_____________________________

Irish Princess-"If racing against mere men makes you tired, how will you race against horses? If you stumble & fall on open ground, what will you do in the thickets?" Jeremiah 12:5
Post #: 43
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/30/2006 10:53:12 PM   
poetlady

 

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Round Rock, TX
Status: offline 		I'm 47 and I have had guys older than me and younger than me. They both did me wrong and now I try not to think too much about starting another relationship. I'm trying now to focus on keeping tabs on my brother and his family along with helping my sister long distance with her life crises. In between it all I don't think that I have given up-I think I have just put realtionship ideas on the back burner for now. When the right man comes along I will know it and God will let me know too. You don't want to forget that He is a big part of all of this! He will put you with someone when the time is right. You cannot rush Gods' time table!

_____________________________

poetlady
Post #: 44
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/30/2006 10:58:35 PM   
CoeurdeLeon_


Posts: 9467
Joined: 9/4/2005
From: Inside my head
Status: offline 		Welcome poetlady! Blessings on you for your care of your siblings.

_____________________________

This morning I was awakened by the sound of purple
colliding with the fragrance of laughter.
Eutychus






New Blog
Post #: 45
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 6/30/2006 11:43:32 PM   
makarizo


Posts: 3007
Joined: 4/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gaylel1
I don't bite...

lol,,,,,,,, I learned a very long time ago that in mixed singles groups (in RL of cours) it is very important that a good communication , even if it feels akward. of associative intentions is somehow [eloquently] stated............... it should never be assumed.
And once that is out of the way, some unwanted things are eliminated.

_____________________________
Post #: 46
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 7/1/2006 6:16:56 AM   
princessreba


Posts: 374
Joined: 11/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: doer

quote:

ORIGINAL: gaylel1
I don't bite...

lol,,,,,,,, I learned a very long time ago that in mixed singles groups (in RL of cours) it is very important that a good communication , even if it feels akward. of associative intentions is somehow [eloquently] stated............... it should never be assumed.
And once that is out of the way, some unwanted things are eliminated.

Yes, I agree-because I've messed up some good friendships when awkward "fellings"
weren't discussed!

Rebecca

_____________________________

Irish Princess-"If racing against mere men makes you tired, how will you race against horses? If you stumble & fall on open ground, what will you do in the thickets?" Jeremiah 12:5
Post #: 47
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 7/1/2006 7:58:23 AM   
valenciarose


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: here between orange groves and rose gardens
Status: offline
quote:

mixed singles groups (in RL of cours)


Do the rest of you folks feel like you don't "fit in in" the traditional "singles group"--- You know, the group that is the age group just after college, and before the "young marrieds".... It is as if everybody has to follow the same road map.... If my marital status determined the group I associated with I would be in with the blue haired senior saints!!! (widowed). Rather, I ignore my "status" and make friends with who I want- which means I end up as the third, fifth, seventh etc. wheel in a group. I guess that makes me odd
Post #: 48
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 7/1/2006 8:04:29 AM   
mutinywxgirl


Posts: 12579
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
Status: offline 		It's funny - I've said this about the churches for a long time - they're missing the boat when it comes to the Singles in their 30's and 40's. Sure, there are a ton of things for divorced people, but for never marrieds, it's really lacking.

It gets me frustrated, to say the least........

_____________________________

When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.


Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
Post #: 49
RE: 40-Something and Single Encoragment Thread - 7/1/2006 9:39:12 AM   
Dags800

 

Posts: 20
Joined: 9/20/2005
From: Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barbi

me 17!


Me too! Whatever number I am!
Post #: 50
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