OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (Full Version)

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Sunnymom -> OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 4:56:49 PM)

CALLING ALL THEO FOLDER ADDICTS POSTERS!

Think of the most outrageous Theology topic and post the folder it would belong in and then the OP.

Stay within the TOS, but the Range of Doctrines need not apply![8D]

Example:
Morality & Ethics

My parents are real mad at me for dating this guy. He is real nice, and he told me that he killed those people on accident. He was their paperboy, and he got real mad when they was late payin him. If they hadn't had that ax next to the back door, wouldn't nothin' have happened.

Anyways, they say I am too young, but I think 16 is old enough to make some decisions for mysef. We are in love, and I want to know if you all think that it's ok for me to bake him a cake with a file in it so thats he can get out and we can get married.



happydays -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 5:14:31 PM)

I am a Jehovah's Witness, and I am concerned with my live in boyfriend who is a Mormon(boy are they way off base scripturally) anyhow, he wants to start wearing skirts, and I told him no, we would get tossed out of that Southern Baptist church we are getting the baby dedicated at.
so, what I want to know, is : Should I be worried that my live in boyfriend wants to wear skirts?

also, is the internet sinful?



Sunnymom -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 5:41:36 PM)

Christian Doctrine:

Isaiah 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

The color if sin in the Bible is NOT black, as some heretics would have us believe. The great scholar Billdashill discovered in 437 AD that there was a tremendous conspiracy to hide the true color of sin.

Think of all the things associated with red- the red light district, red-headed step child, When The Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Bobbin' Along???

And now we even have products sold to us using this wicked and seductive color- Coca Cola being the WORST offender.

I am starting a boycott of all Coca-Cola products. If you really love Jesus, and hate sin, you will boycott all Coke products, and forward this message to 100 of your closest friends!



happydays -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 5:48:01 PM)

Is it a sin to read the book: "Harry Potter and the Purpose Driven Davinci Code"??



phosadaud -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 6:01:13 PM)

Psalm 141:4 Do not incline my heart to any evil thing, to practice wicked works with men who work iniquity; And do not let me eat of their delicacies.

Does this mean we aren't supposed to eat chocolate? I really like chocolate, but it is a delicacy and delicacies are evil right?



happydays -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 6:06:37 PM)

Other Hot topics for the Biblically challenged:

Bird Flu and Armageddon: A hand in hand disaster?[sm=chicken.gif]

Jesus Wept. So did that street preacher I ran over.[sm=car.gif]

[sm=car.gif]

At the rapture, how does one get out of a sealed casket?[:(]

The Ten commandments: Wern't they really just suggestions?



phosadaud -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 6:09:59 PM)

Should Christians celebrate birthdays? It's not in the bible and I think there may be some pagan origins to being born...



zoebob -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 6:10:32 PM)

in THe Bible:

If the OT was fulfilled in Christ can't we just get rid of it.



happydays -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 6:21:53 PM)

David and Bathsheba: enough said.



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 6:25:59 PM)

We're told to deny ourselves. So does that mean that anything I enjoy is a sin?



happydays -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 6:28:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

We're told to deny ourselves. So does that mean that anything I enjoy is a sin?


[8|] I think that actually is a thread![8D]



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 6:31:07 PM)

Oooops![8D]



phosadaud -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 6:51:33 PM)

[:D][:D][:D]

The Bible says that Jesus walked on water and we're supposed to be like Jesus. I just can't seem to stay afloat though. What am I doing wrong?



crankius -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 7:35:32 PM)

Folder: Church

I’ve been having very strange dreams lately where I am in a great hurry, surrounded by others who are also in a great hurry, and each of us have specific jobs we are doing, rushing to and fro. We all live in one giant mountain. There are tunnels everywhere. In the bottom of the mountain is one grand leader. These dreams are getting more and more intense, and I believe that God has finally revealed to me that I am a direct descendant of the Ant People. I believe that God is calling me to gather food all summer. Today, I found verification for my calling from God, and I claim this as my life-verse.

Pr 30:25 - The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their food in the summer.

If you believe you are a descendant of the Ant People as well, pm me and we can begin organizing our tunnels and gathering food donations.



drcain -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 7:46:29 PM)

Does your church let the visitors handle the snakes?



happydays -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 7:52:48 PM)

Grand Pianos and being slain in the spirit: How to handle the lawsuits in the aftermath.



happydays -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 8:19:56 PM)

Strawman arguements and the fires of hell



Ps103 -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 9:26:27 PM)

[:D] My sides...my sides....[:D]



happydays -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 9:41:10 PM)

[sm=icon_smile_sing.gif]
I was sinking deep in sin......


WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!



[sm=icon_smile_sing.gif]
Pass me not, O Gentle Savior.......Verrrrrrroooooooom! Beep! Beep![sm=car.gif][sm=car.gif][sm=car.gif]



Sunnymom -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 9:51:31 PM)

Morality & Ethics

My neighbor's dog won't stop barking- would it be breaking any of the Ten Commandments to feed it to my woodchipper?



happydays -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 9:56:05 PM)

Prophecy:

I knew you people were gonna argue over the inconesquential!



crankius -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 10:00:57 PM)

Folder: Bible

Yesterday, I was at my friend Candy’s house, and I had my little Gideon Bible in my purse, you know, and I went to use the little girl’s room, and like after I had flushed I picked up my purse and was a bit clumsy and my Gideon fell in the toilet water. I quickly crossed myself and gritted my teeth and using my friends hairbrush, fished my Gideon back out, and I’ve been letting it dry ever since.

What should I do? I don’t want to be guilty of destroying God’s Holy Word, but it has obviously suffered water damage and the thought of holding it and turning those pages is gross to me.

I am forced to choose between what is worse…the Word of God being gross to me, or destroying the Word of God. If any of you have a Bible verse which will tell me what God wants me to do, would you please post it, and please do so before Sunday as I have to bring my Bible to youth group with me, you know.



happydays -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 10:10:01 PM)

My glow in the dark virgin Mary dashboard ornament has stopped glowing..should I post about this in the One stop Catholic thread? Or prophecy??



Blessed63 -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/9/2006 11:50:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: drcain

Does your church let the visitors handle the snakes?



My uncle always said giv'em to the heathens... they need to bite someone![sm=yummy.gif]


Nora
[sm=icon_smile_fish.gif]



Sunnymom -> RE: OUTRAGEOUS THEO TOPICS! (6/10/2006 7:56:09 AM)

My dog puked on the kitchen floor last night, and when it dried it looked very much like the virgin Mary. My aunt Ethel thinks it's a sign and that I should leave it there, but my sister Gretchen thinks I should pull up the kitchen floor and sell it on ebay.

What do you all think?



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