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faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/10/2008 7:41:52 PM
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slimon11
Posts: 77
Joined: 2/10/2008
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I have been having issues with anxiety. I know there are many, many times in the bible where it says not to worry. I guess this must be connected to an issue of faith. Why would I worry if I really trusted God to look out for me and guide me?
My relationships with others cause me a lot of worries. The relationships I worry about the most are those with my close family and friends. But I also worry about relationships with acquantices, co-workers, old co-workers, etc.
I think my issues are figuring out how God wants me to handle my relationships. I also stress over mistakes I've made in them and going back and dealing with fixing.
He also has called me to love a friend or two that some people just do not get or are that are harder to like. Other people judge me for that, or don't get me so, I pull away and end up hurting them. I guess I don't take being judged by others so well. I feel guilty or conviction (can't always figure it out) for pulling myself away from those that I feel judge me.
I worry a lot about how people see me as a sevant of God, as a Christian...
Thanks for reading. I really have been praying alot about these things and feel better just writing out how I am feeling. I am thankful for any wisdom you offer.
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/10/2008 8:54:57 PM
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TMeeks
Posts: 1363
Joined: 1/27/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slimon11
I have been having issues with anxiety. I know there are many, many times in the bible where it says not to worry. I guess this must be connected to an issue of faith. Why would I worry if I really trusted God to look out for me and guide me?
My relationships with others cause me a lot of worries. The relationships I worry about the most are those with my close family and friends. But I also worry about relationships with acquantices, co-workers, old co-workers, etc.
I think my issues are figuring out how God wants me to handle my relationships. I also stress over mistakes I've made in them and going back and dealing with fixing.
He also has called me to love a friend or two that some people just do not get or are that are harder to like. Other people judge me for that, or don't get me so, I pull away and end up hurting them. I guess I don't take being judged by others so well. I feel guilty or conviction (can't always figure it out) for pulling myself away from those that I feel judge me.
I worry a lot about how people see me as a sevant of God, as a Christian...
Thanks for reading. I really have been praying alot about these things and feel better just writing out how I am feeling. I am thankful for any wisdom you offer.
Anxiety is a fear response. Fear thinking is human... but, it's NOT God's plan for your life. There are a couple of things I see in your post. The first is a feeling of rejection. People who feel rejected often reject others (pull away) because they anticipate being rejected again. A writer named Dr. Charles Solomon has written several books on this topic that you may be interested in reading. Some of the titles are "The Rejection Syndrome" and "The Ins and Outs of Rejection" and "Handbook to Happiness."
Any of these books will explain why you pull away and offer you help in overcoming rejection. They are used by many Christian counselors.
But, the primary thing that I'd like to address is this question, "Why would I worry if I really trusted God to look out for me and guide me?" And, the reason why this happens is that no one has explained to you how to take every thought captive as the Bible says we are to do. In fact, very few Christians fully understand how to actually take their thoughts captive and remake them into the thoughts that Jesus Christ wants us to have. In other words, taking fear thoughts captive and turning them into faith thoughts.
I graduated from Bible College in 1969. But, it wasn't until just this year that I truly found a rational explanation for how to we can (1) take every thought captive (2) transform fear thoughts into faith thoughts and (3) renew our minds in the process. It turns out that it is not only Spiritually possible; but, God has created our brains (minds) to do this very work in us. The reason you fear rejection in the 'now' and the future is due to memories of rejection in the past. Your brain has stored these memories and replays them over and over at critical times in your life. It is at that very point when you can capture those fear memories and apply Scripture to them to transform them. I can think of no greater resource for you than Dr. Caroline Leaf's DVD series (or her book) called "Who Switched Off My Brain." I know that it's a wierd name for a book. But, it is about the very things that you are experiencing in your life and will be a tremendous help to you.
Here is a review that I wrote for my fellow Bible College graduates.
_____________________________
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/10/2008 9:13:49 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1192
Joined: 9/26/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TMeeks
I graduated from Bible College in 1969.
I graduated HS in '67, TMeeks - you're even older than me! 
The reason you fear rejection in the 'now' and the future is due to memories of rejection in the past. Your brain has stored these memories and replays them over and over at critical times in your life. It is at that very point when you can capture those fear memories and apply Scripture to them to transform them. I can think of no greater resource for you than Dr. Caroline Leaf's DVD series (or her book) called "Who Switched Off My Brain." I know that it's a wierd name for a book. But, it is about the very things that you are experiencing in your life and will be a tremendous help to you.
Here is a review that I wrote for my fellow Bible College graduates.
I guess I'm going to have to read this. 
I, too, struggle with these things, and it's hard. Part of it is trying to keep from ticking off people who are looking for an excuse to get ticked off, and you can't win with these people. So why try to feed a bottomless pit? God calls us to love Him and give love to the brethren, not to make the brethren feel loved when they have no intention to quit whining. So sinful people are part of the problem.
Our own sinfulness messes us up, and God has forgiven us so why shouldn't we, too? We aren't holier than God!
There are surely more answers but I don't know what they are. I'm thinking we're to obey God and let the chips fall where they may. If we love the brethren, the more mature ones are going to be loving us anyway (because they are obeying God), and we can rejoice in that relationship.
Some Christians would rather suck on a sour pickle than obey God, and they'll probably be the ones most rejecting of us. We know whom we serve!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/10/2008 9:28:40 PM
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M.Magdalene
Posts: 21
Joined: 3/5/2008
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I experience a lot of anxiety too. It seems it really got out of control when I became a Christian. Probably I became fearful of people situations that were not Christian and then fearful that I would not be accepted by Christian's. I don't really know and I struggle constantly to try to find a means to and end of it all.
I have to agree with Tom and I can vouch for the book he mentions since he told me about it and I have since read it. It is pretty good, except it is really hard to train your mind (or at least for me) to not react the way you have always reacted to situations. My father was a very critical, abusive man, and I grew up with that. Trying not to be anxious is like trying to change the shape of my hand. How do you do that?
I have also read "The Secret" which you probably have heard of, which is not Christian per se. But it has helped me to understand even more the book Tom mentions that what we believe to be truth is truth so make it your thinking. Be in control of your thoughts and don't let your feelings control you. When you are aware of your anxiety - get off that frequency or toxic way of thinking and change your course. I am realizing now that in the middle of my anxiousness I am able to recognize why I am anxious and I try telling my mind to think with truth. Understand when you lie to yourself and don't let other people bring you down. Stay close to TRUE thinking. It is positive and uplifting.
I am hoping that with constant practice of this new way of thinking I will hopefully practically rid myself of my stupid bad habit. I pray we both grow strong and overcome. With God we should be in control not...
_____________________________
As a sinner we have to accept that it is not easy to truly touch the will of God unless we have experiences that challenge the depths of our own will to show whose strenght we decide to have faith in to overcome it. -- mm
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/10/2008 10:28:37 PM
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slimon11
Posts: 77
Joined: 2/10/2008
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Thank you all so much for answering and for being a blessing to me. Your words are comfort to my hears.
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/10/2008 10:34:20 PM
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slimon11
Posts: 77
Joined: 2/10/2008
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i meant ears not hears I will take a look at the recommended reading
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/10/2008 10:55:42 PM
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Dakotasunbeam
Posts: 1146
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Midwest USA
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27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? --Matt 6:27
Worrying does nothing for you or the relationships you care about.
Yours is a problem with a lack of wisdom. Get wisdom and understanding. Read proverbs and Ecclesiasetes. Meditate (think a long time about) each verse you read. And be obedient to what you read in scripture--do it.
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/10/2008 11:20:16 PM
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TMeeks
Posts: 1363
Joined: 1/27/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam
27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? --Matt 6:27
Worrying does nothing for you or the relationships you care about.
Yours is a problem with a lack of wisdom. Get wisdom and understanding. Read proverbs and Ecclesiasetes. Meditate (think a long time about) each verse you read. And be obedient to what you read in scripture--do it.
The irony in that verse is that worrying makes us DROOP and actually GET SHORTER!!! 
It's a wonderful insight into the delicious humor of Jesus Christ.
< Message edited by TMeeks -- 5/10/2008 11:33:24 PM >
_____________________________
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/10/2008 11:35:23 PM
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TMeeks
Posts: 1363
Joined: 1/27/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deermousie
quote:
ORIGINAL: TMeeks
I graduated from Bible College in 1969.
I graduated HS in '67, TMeeks - you're even older than me!
...
Some Christians would rather suck on a sour pickle than obey God, and they'll probably be the ones most rejecting of us. We know whom we serve!
At least you didn't say your were BORN in 1967!
You reminded me that I was born in 1944, just 30 years after WWI... and, it seemed like ancient history to me. Now, I find myself posting with people that were born 40+ years from WWII... and, that must seem akin to the era of the Fall of Rome to them!
But... back to the topic at hand...
You are right. Far too many people would rather live in sorrow and rejection than do something to completely turn their lives around. Living victoriously, quite frankly, is out of their comfort zone, they are so used to wallowing. I understand it. But, I feel so badly for them.
_____________________________
Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/10/2008 11:54:32 PM
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h_seaton
Posts: 20
Joined: 4/23/2008
From: Kansas City, KS
Status: offline
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Oh, Honey, I hear you.
I have been there, trust me. Just try to remember that God's opinion of us is far more important than any man's.
Unfortunately, and then again maybe it is quite fortunate, Jesus promised us that we would be rejected by the world. So, please do not fear that. Remember that God has a will for you and he will not put you through anything you can not handle.
This passage has brought comfort to me recently. I have been worrying about whether or not I should accept a promotion at work because I do not know how I will handle it once I am in the position. This verse reminded me that God is always going before me to find the best route for my life and to show me the places I should go, and that I should put my trust in him. Maybe it will help you as well.
In Deuteronomy verse 31-33 it says:
"There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."
32 In spite of this, you did not trust in the LORD your God, 33 who went ahead of you on your journey, in fire by night and in a cloud by day, to search out places for you to camp and to show you the way you should go."
_____________________________
†Heather
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RE: anxiety - 5/11/2008 12:23:18 PM
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iamjc-s
Posts: 330
Joined: 8/1/2007
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It is human nature to worry, become fearful, or desperate when one’s life is in excessive turmoil. But Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
The world will have tribulation, Jesus overcomes the world (John 16:33) Jesus overcomes trials and sorrows
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid (John 14:27).
Jesus has offered us a way to peace regardless of circumstances
1 Peter 5:7 (AMPlified) Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.
God's love and kindness will shine upon us like the sun that rises in the sky. (Luke 1:78 Contempory English Version)
My kindness shall not depart from you, Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,” Says the LORD, who has mercy on you. (part of Isaiah 54:10)
I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8
And the peace of God that passeth understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).
1 Peter 5:7 (version unknown) He says to us, "Cast all of your care [anxiety, heartache, problems] on me, for I care for you." You cannot handle this need, but I can. Put your trust in me. Let me shoulder the burden; let me be your sufficiency and give deliverance.
Thou, O God, hast touched me and transfer me into thy peace!
Consider also what unfamiliar feelings or thoughts may be breaking into your peace of mind.
Also ck-out: Psalm 27 & Matt. 11:25-30 & John 15 & Romans 8:31-39
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/11/2008 1:27:36 PM
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CherishedbyGod
Posts: 2888
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TMeeks
But, the primary thing that I'd like to address is this question, "Why would I worry if I really trusted God to look out for me and guide me?" And, the reason why this happens is that no one has explained to you how to take every thought captive as the Bible says we are to do. In fact, very few Christians fully understand how to actually take their thoughts captive and remake them into the thoughts that Jesus Christ wants us to have. In other words, taking fear thoughts captive and turning them into faith thoughts.
I graduated from Bible College in 1969. But, it wasn't until just this year that I truly found a rational explanation for how to we can (1) take every thought captive (2) transform fear thoughts into faith thoughts and (3) renew our minds in the process. It turns out that it is not only Spiritually possible; but, God has created our brains (minds) to do this very work in us. The reason you fear rejection in the 'now' and the future is due to memories of rejection in the past. Your brain has stored these memories and replays them over and over at critical times in your life. It is at that very point when you can capture those fear memories and apply Scripture to them to transform them. I can think of no greater resource for you than Dr. Caroline Leaf's DVD series (or her book) called "Who Switched Off My Brain." I know that it's a wierd name for a book. But, it is about the very things that you are experiencing in your life and will be a tremendous help to you.
TM,
I would like to know how to take every thought captive, etc. Can you share with us how to do this in practical terms?
I have been under almost intolerable oppression, due to some horrible things being done to me, and I would like to know how to be victorious through this 
_____________________________
~For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ~
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RE: faith, anxiety and relationships issues - 5/11/2008 4:31:06 PM
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jmjphe
Posts: 22
Joined: 4/29/2008
Status: offline
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Hi there, I've had the same issues in the past and ive dealt with them through and through There is a prior response i typed out to another topic that ill past here for a feel its relates greatly. But first I'd like to say that in the case of "social anxiety" or "social paranoia" in that you worry what others think, thats normally a guise (unbenounced to you) for low-esteem. Heres the post i typed
I know EXACTLY what your talking about and i think i can shed some light on this and put it in perspectve.
Whats going on is this mental dialouge of compulsive, random, harmful thoughts. Your mind just wont shut up right? I wouldnt be suprised if you had trouble sleeping, or suffered form occasional anxiety or panic attacks, maybe you seem distant at times from others in thier eyes yet dont mean to. All your engery is focused on the contents of your brain which over time feels very fragile. One train of thought spawns millions of others throughout the course of a single day...and i literally do mean close to millions, or some ridiculous number. The thoughts get to a point where they sort of become "all thought out" meaning they mature to a point where you cant even comprehend them and they sort of go into the void making room for the next one like clock work at times. On top of that you may feel this is something you need to address and start to scrutinize your very being in different variations, and begin a process of self-pre-occupation that just recycles everything. by the way, some physcho-therapists beleive this is a core reason for bi-polar disorder as opposed to it being purely inherited or a fully biochemical disorder.
So in a nutshell it very much seems your unknowingly drawing you very identity from the contents of your mind as opposed to you as a child of God through Jesus Christ. The above mentioned conditioned seems to becoming more and more common, I suffered from it greatly so your not alone.
I really and truely want your to understand these next 2 sentences...YOU are not your mind. YOU are a child of God through the death of Christ imbued with the holy spirit. This central core of your very being cant be comprimised, but when you begin to draw off of your brain which is just an organ, or a tool to use, it begins using you, and makes way for the devil and his forces to reak havoc in your life.
There is a common phrase that people use sometimes, in real life, or in moves etc....the phrase is some variation of "I can't live with myself any longer"...this phrase is often muttered or thought in times of deep despair, fear, anger, self doubt, etc. Really read that phrase "I can't live with myself any longer"...who is the "I" and who is "myself"? One is the mind identified person, the other is the spirutally identified person, its a matter of which is leading.
Understanding this is the start to stopping it. Dont entertain these thoughts you have, just watch them without judegment, no matter how sexually preverse, nasty, or horid they may be and they will disipate, for this is not you. 2nd Cornthians is a great book on the matter, so is ROmans chapter 8. Remember this, Christ said "Although the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak" Your mind is the flesh's control center, any thought or action or attitude centers from there. When you let God in control (meaning be silent and bathe in the Joy that is you,the child of God through Christ) you are now simply YOU.
Our minds will always get the best of us at times, but it takes practice, prayer, and a practice at putting the mind in it's place.
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