As a little girl, I never really enjoyed playing with Barbie dolls or playing Princess dress up. Instead, I preferred to be outside -- playing sports or climbing trees. With that came many panic-stricken trips to the ER for stitches [eww], broken bones [ouch], and occasionally even...the mild head injury [omg].
Those fragile years of my life have left many scars all over my body. But there are many unseen scars, as well.
On top of being a tomboy, I grew up being called names by my classmates. Though I thought it would one day magically stop, the names only got worse as I got older. On the outside I was rough and tough, but on the inside I was broken down and scarred -- a little more every day.
These painful internal wounds were not something that an ER visit, Neosporin or a Bandaid could ever fix. It would only be a matter of time before the hurt, depression, and pain would manifest in ways I never dreamed.
At the age of 15, in order to give the pain a voice, I began cutting myself. I had no clue what kind of damage I was causing and that it would take a miracle to repair. Despite how I was hurting myself, I became content with life and felt this was just how things were going to be.
Even though I became a Christian at the age of 16, I never realized there could be true healing for my internal scars. But when I began reading God's Word, I began to understand who God was and who I was in him. Redeemed, loved, chosen, healed, and forgiven were the truths I found at the foot of the Cross.
The world had knocked me down but God was now lifting me up with his truth.
Changing was hard and sometimes more painful than I could have ever imagined. But with each passing day of processing through my pain [talking about it and realizing I had to make the choice to continue to lay my pain at the foot of the Cross], I began to see God's grace abound in my life.
We all have scars, though some of us are facing them and some of us are hiding from them. No matter who you are, there is a past pain in your life. God would like to use it for his good. In order to do that, we have to be willing to allow him to redeem the hurt, cover the scar with his grace and mercy, and then step out and use it for his glory.
The question is, will we let him? Will we come clean about our scars and then watch him use our messed up lives in greater ways than we could have ever imagined? Today, I want to choose to let him heal my scars, change my heart, and be glorified in what was originally a great place of pain in my life. What will you choose?
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God." -- Ephesians 2:8 (NIV)
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. -- Romans 3:23-24 (NIV)
Bradelyn Levi is a girl who loves to laugh, be outside and simply find adventures in the world around her. She blogs at http://bradelynlevi.wordpress.com/
© 2011 by Bradelyn Levi. All rights reserved.
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