Proverbs 31 Ministries is a non-denominational, non-profit Christian ministry that seeks to lead women into a personal relationship with Christ. With Proverbs 31:10-31 as a guide, Proverbs 31 Ministries reaches women right in the middle of their busy day through free daily devotions, radio program, speaking events, conferences, monthly magazine, resources, online communities, and Gather and Grow groups. We are real women offering real-life solutions to women who are striving to maintain life’s balance, in spite of today’s hectic pace and cultural pull away from godly principles. Wherever a woman may be on her spiritual journey, Proverbs 31 Ministries exists to be a trusted friend who takes her by the hand and walks by her side, leading her one step closer to the heart of God.
December 12, 2013
The Place Where Disappointment Grows
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want." Psalm 23:1 (ESV)
The space between our expectations and our reality is a fertile field. And often it's a place where disappointment grows.
When I was in high school, I had a friend whose sister had the coolest hairdo. It was cropped short with straight bangs that fell messy over one eye. She was that older sister who just seemed to have a handle on how to do everything with style.
I somehow decided all of her coolness traced back to her hairdo. Like that was the budding spot from which the life I wanted could sprout.
Never mind the fact her hair was thin and obedient. And mine was thick and rebellious.
Never mind that her hair was sleek and straight. And mine was curly at best and frizzy at worst.
Never mind that her bangs fell nicely over her forehead. And mine had a crazy cowlick causing them to grow up, not down.
Yes, never mind reality.
I set my expectation on the highest bar and willed my hair to fall in line.
The hair dresser chopped. And chopped. And chopped. And tried to assure me I now looked JUST like the picture of the older sister.
But that was a lie. I knew it. She knew it.
And oh how some serious disappointment grew in the space between my expectation and my new reality. I still have nightmares of that disastrous hairdo where I wake up desperately grabbing at my head to make sure my hair is still there.
But hair grows back. Bad cuts can be fixed. That type of disappointment can be remedied.
Other situations aren't so easy. Maybe you have some space between a current reality and an unfulfilled expectation. If so, I imagine disappointment can be found growing there.
Psalm 23:1 says, "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want." (ESV) The Hebrew word for "want" is chacer meaning, "to lack, be without, become empty." So, if the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not become empty. I shall not live in a constant state of disappointment where circumstances leak me dry.
But ... I still do sometimes. And not just with my hair. It's other stuff as well.
So, how do I let the Lord shepherd me so that the gap between my expectations and reality closes? I ask myself these questions when faced with disappointment:
What do I need to learn? Maybe God has an appointment for me in the midst of this disappointment. If God wants me to see, learn, know, or grow in some way while I work through this unmet expectation, I have to be open to hear this from Him.
Could it be that I'm so concerned with what I don't have, I've forgotten to be thankful for what I do have? Sometimes, it's not that my reality is bad. It's that I created too much space for disappointment to grow by placing my expectations too high.
Is there something I can do to change this situation? If so, I need to ask God for the courage to make changes. If I keep hoping things will get better but don't make any adjustments, that's foolish. The space between my reality and my expectations will only change if I do.
Now back to my high school hair situation. If I ever start flashing pictures of cute pixie haircuts I'm considering getting, somebody remind me of my high school hair debacle. Please. Pretty please. With a dollop of hair gel on top.
Dear Lord, thank You for turning my disappointments into opportunities for growth and learning. Guide me in trusting You through every situation, even if I can't understand why it's happening. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Has food become more about frustration than fulfillment? If you find yourself consistently disappointed in your journey to be healthier, Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst, can help you narrow the gap between your reality and expectations. Click here to pick up your copy.
Have friends hold you accountable by signing up for our newest online Bible study of Made to Crave, starting January 19, 2014. Click here for more information and to sign up.
Reflect and Respond:
How do you typically handle disappointment?
Reflect on the three questions above and write down your answers. This will give you the opportunity to get a better perspective on your own particular situation and the way you handle disappointments.
Romans 5:2b-5, "And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." (NIV)
© 2013 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
630 Team Rd., Suite 100
Matthews, NC 28105