Blogs

When You Feel Helpless
Courtnaye Richard

About Wendy van Eyck

Wendy van Eyck is married to Xylon, who talks non-stop about cycling, and makes her laugh. She writes for anyone who has ever held a loved one’s hand through illness, ever believed in God despite hard circumstances or ever left on a spontaneous 2-week holiday through a foreign land with just a backpack. You can follow Wendy’s story and subscribe to receive her free ebook, “Life, life and more life” at ilovedevotionals.com. She would also love to connect with you on Facebook and Twitter.

When you're wondering if children are part of your future

Wendy van Eyck
RSS this blog Archives Contributors

Wendy van Eyck is married to Xylon, who talks non-stop about cycling, and makes her laugh. She writes for anyone who has ever held a loved one’s hand through illness, ever believed in God despite hard circumstances or ever left on a spontaneous 2-week holiday through a foreign land with just a backpack. You can follow Wendy’s story and subscribe to receive her free ebook, “Life, life and more life” at ilovedevotionals.com. She would also love to connect with you on Facebook and Twitter.

In you, Lord my God, I put my trust. Psalm 25:1 (NIV)

“And babies?”

It’s a common question I hear these days.

It’s slipped in between, “How are you?” and “What are you up to?”

Each time I hear it I think back to our whispered fears and hopes outside a sperm bank: 

“Do you want to do this?” Xylon asked.

“No…do you?” I whisper.

“Not at all.” He says.

“Ssshall we go?” I stutter.

In reply, Xylon turns the key, and drives out of the fertility clinic.

My husband and I drove all the way to deposit sperm after he was diagnosed with cancer, and then we couldn’t do it.

We’d talked about it, we’d prayed about it, we’d researched it and met with doctors about it.

We wanted to be wise about our fertility.

We didn’t want to play games with the future generations God might give us.

But in the end we couldn’t go through it.

We turned around and left, because we felt that God was telling us to not only trust him with our lives, but with our fertility.

I don’t know exactly what that means for us.

All we decided was that we were content to allow God to determine how we become parents of the children he has for us.

I don’t know if it means we’ll have birth children one day, or whether we’ll adopt, or whether God has something else planned for us. 

I don’t know the stresses and strains it might put on our relationship or how it might change us.

quotes about trust in God

All I know, is that in that parking lot we decided to put all our trust and hope in Jesus – to trust him completely.

I have learnt “We’re trusting God for X” isn’t a guarantee that I’ll get what I want or even what I think I need. 

Sometimes I use “We’re trusting God” as euphemism for “We’re going to get what we want.”

I don’t think that’s what trust it, I think trust is more a quite confidence that God will always give me his best (even if I think that looks like the worst possible outcome).

When I don’t know the outcome, or when the situation I hoped would turned out for one way turns out differently to what I hoped that’s when I’m really trusting God.

I’m learning that when I wonder if I can trust God in something, I can whisper like David: “In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.”

Ponder: Is there something in your life that you need to trust God with? 

Prayer: In you, Lord my God, I put my trust.

{Share this post}

You can share this devotional on twitter by clicking here. I’d also love for you to connect with me on my Facebook and twitter pages or if you're viewing this via email you can leave a comment by clicking here.

Get a copy of my e-book Life, Life and More Life for free. Just subscribe to receive my devotionals every Monday and Friday. In the book I share some of thoughts on how to make every moment count, gleaned from my experiences of loving my husband through 18 sessions of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant. You can subscribe here

- This was orginally published on my site in September 2014. To read more devotionals like this go to ilovedevotionals.com

Comments