Renee Fisher is a spirited speaker, coach, consultant and author, who published her first eight books in under eight years. A self-proclaimed "Dream Defender," Renee is passionate about calling dreams to life in others. A graduate of Biola University, she lives in Houston, TX with her handsome husband and their fur child named Star. Connect with her at ReneeFisher.com.
There’s a difference between being a private person and hiding your sins, or a public person and wanting attention. I’m an author so I automatically fall into the public arena.
Some days this is great.
Other days I groan inwardly.
My husband does not share the spotlight. He is a private person. He refuses to use social media–if at all. This is more than okay, actually. I recently found out that Facebook is now a cause of 1/3 of divorces. WHAT?
I remember how difficult it was for me to wait a few weeks after Marc and I started dating to update my relationship status. I wanted to make sure our relationship was more important than making it Facebook official. But enough about Facebook.
What I really want to talk about is friendships.
Now that I’m married I see my friendships changing–fast.
In 12 Things I Didn’t Expect From Marriage, I wrote how my friendships have changed.
“I was that saangle (really single) chick who assumed I’d never leave my single friends in the dumpsville. Now that I’m married, so much time goes into building a life together. It’s not necessarily bad or good—it is what it is.”
Partly because it requires more time than I can give, which I’m okay with.
Partly because those I previously reached out to haven’t reached back, which…
I’m not saying marriage is a friendship killer. It’s not. It purifies them. My friends who truly care about my new life and marriage have stuck around. They’ve texted, called, emailed–whatever it takes to check up on me and my hubby. They’re not jealous or scared.
They just are. my. friends.
I feel bad for saying this, and have resisting coming clean for the past few months. But I get it now.
How it feels to say “no” more than “yes.”
How it feels to become a private person to protect and enjoy my husband.
How it feels to change in friendships when the other doesn’t, can’t, or won’t.
To make time for those who make time for me.
To spend time on what’s most important–God.
I think, no I know–it will make for healthier friendships because “a friend loves at all times [single or married], and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17, NIV84).