Jennifer Kostick– Jennifer has been married for twenty-three years to her high school sweetheart, Paul. She is the mother of three children, Paul IV (22), Samuel (6), and Grace (6). She also has six babies residing in heaven. It is those six tiny souls who have propelled her into women’s ministry. She is a conference speaker and author of the book Nothing to Hold but Hope (one woman's journey through miscarriage, stillbirth, and infertility). Jennifer blogs at www.Jenniferkostick.com and is passionate about encouraging women through a godly message of mercy and hope.
I don’t know what it is you’re looking for. I’m not sure what the world looks like from where you’re standing. I just know you need something. There’s a stirring in your soul that won’t quiet, and a hope in your heart that won’t quit. And so you keep moving one small step at a time. You feel as if you’ve been blindfolded because you have no idea where you’re going, or what you’ll find when you arrive there. But you know it’s good because you know it’s God.
Some days are harder than others. You don’t feel like taking another step on that hazy path. You’re tired, weary, and just plain worn out. You would rather hold on to yesterday, but you know that holding on binds you to what was. It’s time to move toward what will be. You have no idea what that is, but you know it’s good because you know it’s God.
I’ve scaled some mountains: Gigantic -stared death in the face – felt like I wouldn’t ever breathe again, kind of mountains. I understand stumbling down a dark path waiting for light to turn on. I’ve heard the voice of temptation screaming, “Give up!” But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Deep down, as difficult as the jagged edges of life became, I knew it was good because I knew it was God.
Sometimes, prayer is spoken in silence through the language of tears. Don’t worry, God’s fluent. He gets it. He understands your grief before you do. He knows the frustration of waiting and worry. That’s why there is so much power in His grace, and so much goodness in His gifts.
What appears to be suffering now will turn into beauty later. Don’t ask me how He does it? I don’t know. I can only tell you that even through pain that won’t disappear, there is love that covers rich and glorious. It brings brilliant color to what seemed like drab defeat. And somehow we smile again. The kind of smile that spreads all over our faces and reaches our souls.
Though your mountain may be steep and the pain from your soul so evident it causes your spiritual heart to stop beating, do not fear. The grace of our Lord Jesus has the power to shock your heart back into rhythm. Through His great mystery He will knit your soul to His and make you whole.
The best thing about being a seeker in the kingdom of God, is the promise of finding. So keep at it! Seek and you will find.
And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
Be healed. Have hope. Find love.
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