Jennifer Kostick– Jennifer has been married for twenty-three years to her high school sweetheart, Paul. She is the mother of three children, Paul IV (22), Samuel (6), and Grace (6). She also has six babies residing in heaven. It is those six tiny souls who have propelled her into women’s ministry. She is a conference speaker and author of the book Nothing to Hold but Hope (one woman's journey through miscarriage, stillbirth, and infertility). Jennifer blogs at www.Jenniferkostick.com and is passionate about encouraging women through a godly message of mercy and hope.
I’ve had all the feelings recently, friends. ALL. THE. FEELINGS.
I often say that feelings are dangerous because if they aren’t connected with truth and are instead overrun by emotion, then they can lead us to scary places that are not at all where God would have us reside. He would rather us live overwhelmed in the truth of who He is and filter our feelings through His grace.
I see myself standing over a kitchen sink with a colander in my hand allowing the excess to drain. What’s left is what is good and real and worth it. It’s whole and safe to consume. What isn’t needs to be filtered through until it finally trickles out – one slow drip at a time.
The brokenness of one’s heart can easily become dirty with excess feelings. Brokenness does have the ability to be beautiful, but only because when we inhabit the state of broken, we often find ourselves reaching further towards the One who can mend the pieces.
He overflows mercy as He works deep inside to heal, and He blesses us through the in between time where brokenness and wholeness meet. However, when we allow the broken pieces to become dingy and dirty, the mending is much more difficult.
When we say hello to feelings such as bitterness and rejection – to hatred and jealousy, we say goodbye to pliability and the grace of the Healers’ hand. He doesn’t withhold it. We reject it. And sometimes we don’t even recognize what we are doing.
Uncloak my eyes, Lord. Let me see Your truth and help me filter feelings that do not stand upon it.
I’m convinced that the bridge from brokenness to wholeness is held by a thread. I imagine it as one of those bridges we see pictured in the movies. It consists of little, wooden slats and has ropes on either side. It hangs high in the air and is only made for a certain weight capacity. And yet we all work to trek across it with a million pounds of excess baggage.
We want to reach the other side without having to rid ourselves of what is unclean. We’ve somehow become comfortable with the messy emotion. Until we aren’t, and then we can’t escape fast enough.
At some point we realize that the only way to be okay and have the wholeness of God cover us, is to throw the feelings that have been holding us down over the sides of the ropes. We need to watch the hurt and pain we’ve been holding for so long crash to the depths before we fully give Jesus all of who we are.
I don’t know what might be holding you back today. I can tell you that in my own life, I’m battling many issues and Christ is saying, “Let it Go!” I need to retreat in certain areas, and say goodbye in others so that I can say hello to all Christ has for me.
Bottom line: I need to let Christ work deep within my broken places.
You’ve probably heard me say thousands of times that I’m a visual learner. And if not, I’m sure you’ve already gathered it from this post. I’m a creative and I often see the world as cinematography. It’s full of beautiful stories, and I have a hope in my heart that every precious plot line will somehow echo the name of Jesus. I want wholeness to become reality for every beating heart. And I know from where it comes.
I will lift up my eyes to the hills—from whence comes my help? 2 My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
If you are caught in a web of emotions that make you feel hurt, suffocated, and alone in the world, then I want you to picture yourself walking that rickety bridge between broken and whole. See yourself throwing the heavy weights of soul-killing emotions over the sides. In your mind, send it plummeting. And, through it all, keep saying the name of Jesus until you hear it echo through the in between places.
Friend, if you believe in the name of Jesus and everything He is, then you are trading your will for His. And that means as you are crossing the bridge, He is holding you up and guiding each step. As you begin to lift the heavy baggage in hopes to throw it into the pit, He’s the strength in your arms that helps you propel it far from your life. He’s freeing you.
Focus on feeling His freedom which is rooted and grounded in His word.
I’m praying for you today!
My eBook, Mercy Waits, is FREE to new subscribers!