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What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/6/2008 11:47:01 PM
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Mona6122
Posts: 12
Joined: 5/5/2008
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A better than thou christian. I have been near tears all day. That really hurt. I don't have anybody to talk to about it so I thought I would post it here so here goes:
I just recently accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour and have been reading my bible everyday. I listen to christian radio. I'm a nicer person...most days ....some days it really takes prayer and I still fail at it. I stopped cursing and I don't listen to some of the music that I used to yes, I've changed but I don't think its in a bad way.
When we got together he told me he was saved. He's a member of a church that he's never attended. He thinks Jesus sinned while here on earth. A couple of months ago I was talking about faith and he was all fired up. We would stop and read the bible everyday start living like we're supposed to. I just don't understand what happened....I don't preach at him. Twice I said something about him reading the bible and today he just goes off after I confronted him about being on an online dating site...and trying to sign up and looking at questionable very bad web pages...I never mentioned God, the bible, nothing except that he was on these sites and how did he think that would make me feel and he just went off.
I thought you were supposed to change when Jesus came into your life? I don't know I'm just so hurt and confused.
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 1:56:58 AM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 795
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline
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I believe you already know the condition of your husband's heart - the Bible states we shall know Christians by their fruit.
Your husband needs to see Christ reflected in you, don't preach - live out the Bible standards for righteous living before him each day.
It would also be good for you to get acquainted with the ladies in your church and be part of a Bible study group... a good support system is needed when one is in your situation.
I also suggest marriage counseling - even if he doesn't go it'll be a place where you can vent.
*Jesus didn't sin although he was tempted he never sinned!
{Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16}
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 9:54:37 AM
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Mona6122
Posts: 12
Joined: 5/5/2008
Status: offline
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Thanks I have found a church but since I travel with my job so much I rarely get there. Thanks for answering me I was beginning to think I was just being silly for that hitting me so hard. We really need marriage counseling.
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 10:10:48 AM
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pickupyourmat
Posts: 274
Joined: 7/5/2007
Status: offline
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Hi Mona6122,
This is being said with love. You've got to man-up!! Don't cry any more. Wipe your tears and understand that the darkness hates the light. If your husband is not living according to the standard of Christ and you confront him on sinful behavior in the nicest non-condemning spirit, you are liable to be persecuted in some way. This is part and parcel with Christianity.
Pray for your husband to be convicted and get his life right and you continue to glorify God. Make sure you get advice on how you come across and what's the best way to address this. There may have been a different way to handle it. But having said all that, just understand that this is not real persecution. Just remember that you are free to worship in this country and no one can stop you from preaching about Christ. Your life is not threatened for loving Jesus but your brothers and sisters in other parts of the world are going through it.
Remember when you were in the world and someone called you a name or said something hurtful? I hope you didn't break down and cry every time. Well, it's really no different here. Develop thicker skin and praise God that you are being insulted because you are confronting unrighteousness.
Much Love
_____________________________
"It's not my opinion but the word of God." That's the same thing Jim Jones said.
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 10:44:10 AM
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joyfulmn
Posts: 342
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: not as small town MN as it used to be
Status: online
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To answer your question - I'd be very hurt. Just like you were.
Then I would try to remember that someone flaring up like that is not really about me, it's about them. In this case I suspect he was reacting out of guilt. You've become a believer in our Lord Jesus and he knows he's supposed to be a Christian so he's been trying to please you and do the right things in his own strength. Therefore it hasn't lasted very long.
Admittedly what he was doing was very wrong for any man, married or otherwise. Unfortunately our flesh driven world doesn't see it that way. You are not going to be able to change him though. The Holy Spirit is going to need to do some convicting. So, be praying, praying, praying for your husband.
Since you travel a lot, I'm thinking research some other threads on this site for marriage advice. Also, I have not read The Power of a Praying Wife but I understand it is very good. I have also heard "America's Family Coaches', Dave & Barb Rosberg on the radio. They also seem to be very helpful. They have a website by that name. There are also other good Christian marriage and family coaches on the web
I pray the Lord will give you the desire of your heart - a healthy Christian marriage.
_____________________________
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Hebrews 10:24 (NIV)
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 12:35:39 PM
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manda59
Posts: 5721
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mona6122
Thanks I have found a church but since I travel with my job so much I rarely get there.
So how much time do you and your husband actually spend together each day/week?
_____________________________
"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 7:39:11 PM
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Mona6122
Posts: 12
Joined: 5/5/2008
Status: offline
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Literally, we are together 24/7. We drive tractor trailer....together.
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/11/2008 2:07:35 AM
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LMKH
Posts: 11
Joined: 12/18/2007
Status: offline
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This is just someone trying to unevenly yoke you from God. Just stand strong and realize, there will be others like him out there. You can do this. (((hugs)))
quote:
accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour and have been reading my bible everyday. I listen to christian radio. I'm a nicer person...most days ....some days it really takes prayer and I still fail at it. I stopped cursing and I don't listen to some of the music that I used to yes, I've changed but I don't think its in a bad way.
When we got together he told me he was saved. He's a member of a church that he's never attended. He thinks Jesus sinned while here on earth. A couple of months ago I was talking about faith and he was all fired up. We would stop and read the bible everyday start living like we're supposed to. I just don't understand what happened....I don't preach at him. Twice I said something about him reading the bible and today he just goes off after I confronted him about being on an online dating site...and trying to sign up and looking at questionable very bad web pages...I never mentioned God, the bible, nothing except that he was on these sites and how did he think that would make me feel and he just went off.
I thought you were supposed to change when Jesus came into your life? I don't know I'm just so hurt and confused.
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 1:56:58 AM
jaimestarcross
Senior Member
Posts: 759
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline I believe you already know the condition of your husband's heart - the Bible states we shall know Christians by their fruit.
Your husband needs to see Christ reflected in you, don't preach - live out the Bible standards for righteous living before him each day.
It would also be good for you to get acquainted with the ladies in your church and be part of a Bible study group... a good support system is needed when one is in your situation.
I also suggest marriage counseling - even if he doesn't go it'll be a place where you can vent.
*Jesus didn't sin although he was tempted he never sinned!
{Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16}
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 9:54:37 AM
Mona6122
New Member
Posts: 9
Joined: 5/5/2008
Status: offline Thanks I have found a church but since I travel with my job so much I rarely get there. Thanks for answering me I was beginning to think I was just being silly for that hitting me so hard. We really need marriage counseling.
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 10:10:48 AM
pickupyourmat
Regular Member
Posts: 299
Joined: 7/5/2007
Status: offline Hi Mona6122,
This is being said with love. You've got to man-up!! Don't cry any more. Wipe your tears and understand that the darkness hates the light. If your husband is not living according to the standard of Christ and you confront him on sinful behavior in the nicest non-condemning spirit, you are liable to be persecuted in some way. This is part and parcel with Christianity.
Pray for your husband to be convicted and get his life right and you continue to glorify God. Make sure you get advice on how you come across and what's the best way to address this. There may have been a different way to handle it. But having said all that, just understand that this is not real persecution. Just remember that you are free to worship in this country and no one can stop you from preaching about Christ. Your life is not threatened for loving Jesus but your brothers and sisters in other parts of the world are going through it.
Remember when you were in the world and someone called you a name or said something hurtful? I hope you didn't break down and cry every time. Well, it's really no different here. Develop thicker skin and praise God that you are being insulted because you are confronting unrighteousness.
Much Love
_____________________________
"It's not my opinion but the word of God." That's the same thing Jim Jones said.
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 10:44:10 AM
joyfulmn
Regular Member
Posts: 239
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: not as small town MN as it used to be
Status: offline To answer your question - I'd be very hurt. Just like you were.
Then I would try to remember that someone flaring up like that is not really about me, it's about them. In this case I suspect he was reacting out of guilt. You've become a believer in our Lord Jesus and he knows he's supposed to be a Christian so he's been trying to please you and do the right things in his own strength. Therefore it hasn't lasted very long.
Admittedly what he was doing was very wrong for any man, married or otherwise. Unfortunately our flesh driven world doesn't see it that way. You are not going to be able to change him though. The Holy Spirit is going to need to do some convicting. So, be praying, praying, praying for your husband.
Since you travel a lot, I'm thinking research some other threads on this site for marriage advice. Also, I have not read The Power of a Praying Wife but I understand it is very good. I have also heard "America's Family Coaches', Dave & Barb Rosberg on the radio. They also seem to be very helpful. They have a website by that name. There are also other good Christian marriage and family coaches on the web
I pray the Lord will give you the desire of your heart - a healthy Christian marriage.
_____________________________
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Hebrews 10:24 (NIV)
Add a note (optional, 100 characters):
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 12:35:39 PM
manda59
Super Member
Posts: 5004
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline quote:
ORIGINAL: Mona6122
Thanks I have found a church but since I travel with my job so much I rarely get there.
So how much time do you and your husband actually spend together each day/week?
_____________________________
"Okay Manda. You rock."
Flintejae (June 2008)
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/7/2008 7:39:11 PM
Mona6122
New Member
Posts: 9
Joined: 5/5/2008
Status: offline Literally, we are together 24/7. We drive tractor trailer....together.
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/11/2008 3:11:08 AM
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blessednw
Posts: 741
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mona6122
A better than thou christian. I have been near tears all day. That really hurt. I don't have anybody to talk to about it so I thought I would post it here so here goes:
I just recently accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour and have been reading my bible everyday. I listen to christian radio. I'm a nicer person...most days ....some days it really takes prayer and I still fail at it. I stopped cursing and I don't listen to some of the music that I used to yes, I've changed but I don't think its in a bad way.
When we got together he told me he was saved. He's a member of a church that he's never attended. He thinks Jesus sinned while here on earth. A couple of months ago I was talking about faith and he was all fired up. We would stop and read the bible everyday start living like we're supposed to. I just don't understand what happened....I don't preach at him. Twice I said something about him reading the bible and today he just goes off after I confronted him about being on an online dating site...and trying to sign up and looking at questionable very bad web pages...I never mentioned God, the bible, nothing except that he was on these sites and how did he think that would make me feel and he just went off.
I thought you were supposed to change when Jesus came into your life? I don't know I'm just so hurt and confused.
When Peter told Jesus that He would not go to the cross, Jesus spoke directly to the devil. he rebuked him.
When a believer is doing the right thing, his enemy will try to harass him. Unfortunately, the devil doesn't fight fair, but will use our loved ones to get at us. the devil is allowed to be where he is invited, and when a person is not walking in obedience to the Lord, it is like there is an "open door" for trouble.
I dont' recommend you describing this to him, but instead, realizing that when those hurtful things are said, they are meant to be an arrow in your heart from your enemy. Jesus told us to resist the devil and that he would flee from us. We resist the enemy by refusing to believe lies. Accusations like what you got is an example. Though you got accused, it sounds like you were not trying to be super spiritual. Best to keep your times with the Lord private if they provoke your husband's guilt and your trouble.
Don't worry about his position in the Lord, but pray about it. Everyone has to respond to Jesus themselves directly, and they won't be able to do it through another person. We wives often get worried about our husband's spiritual state, but it is God's responsibility to reveal Himself to them, and to convict them or sin, righteousness and judgement. We just have to agree and not hinder this process of God dealing with them.
Focus on your walk with God and make Him more important than anyone else. He will guide you and help you to be a helpmate where you can. Pray for conviction! and Godly friends. Trust the Lord to begin to work in your situation. He gives faith to those who ask.
_____________________________
This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.....
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RE: What do you do when your husband calls you.... - 6/12/2008 6:11:53 PM
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Mona6122
Posts: 12
Joined: 5/5/2008
Status: offline
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Stateofgrace those are the very ministries that led me to Jesus Christ. What a blessing they are!!! Thank you all for your responses. He confuses me sometimes and I finally did tell him how hurt I was at that comment. I just don't get it. He'll go to church and he'll be a christian on Sunday but that's the end of the line. At least now though we are talking about it.
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