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Showing Love and Words of Encouragement - 4/28/2008 3:23:57 PM
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lewbcw
Posts: 23
Joined: 4/6/2008
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Hello Everyone,
I am writing this post to ask about how you as parents or teachers show love to your children and students? What words of encouragement do you use? How often do you praise and encourage them?
Even more difficult, how have you shown love when your child or student has misbehaved? I left this question very open, because I would love to hear as many stories as possible.
Will look forward to hearing from you,
-lewbcw
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RE: Showing Love and Words of Encouragement - 4/28/2008 6:35:12 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1267
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Well, the hardest time to show "love" is when you are upset about something, but we try to show love then by correcting the misbehavior, and then expressing confidence that the kiddo will do better next time.
We hug often, and say "I love you", "I'm proud of that accomplishment or character trait", and "I'm glad you're my child" on a regular basis. But we do have to correct misbehavior when it occurs.
Correction without love is only controlling. Correction in a loving atmosphere is the highest expression of love there is. How could you claim to love a child and allow them to behave in ways that will cost them later in life? Permissiveness is not love.
Is that what you are asking?
_____________________________
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost..." -J. R. R. Tolkien
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RE: Showing Love and Words of Encouragement - 4/29/2008 12:55:58 AM
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lewbcw
Posts: 23
Joined: 4/6/2008
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Hi Shadow,
Thank you for your response and insightful thoughts. I actually did not have a specific answer I was looking for, but more of just general thoughts and stories.
I suppose one thing I would really like to improve upon myself is learning how to encourage the youth/students I teach. And so I was looking to hear of words or phrases used that are loving and encouraging to help build up a healthy child.
I liked your explanation of the difference between correction and correction with love. 
-lewbcw
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RE: Showing Love and Words of Encouragement - 4/29/2008 5:10:37 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1267
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I really do think an important part of correction, often overlooked, is expressing the confidence that your student/child WILL do better next time!
As a teacher, I don't think you are allowed to touch your students, so the hug thing probably won't work for you.
But I heard about a teacher in DC who wrote a note to every one of her students about how they had made a positive difference in her class just by existing. Then she called them up to the front of the class and praised them (not their performance, but something about their character and personality) in front of the whole class for their positive contribution.
Maybe you could do something like that? Focus on the positive. "You always have questions. Good for you. Asking questions is how you learn."
"You bring such a peaceful atmosphere to your corner of the room. Every day you come in and sit quietly. Whenever I star feeling overwhelmed, I can always look at you and be reminded to still my thoughts."
KWIM?
_____________________________
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost..." -J. R. R. Tolkien
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RE: Showing Love and Words of Encouragement - 4/30/2008 11:19:12 AM
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buckifn
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Have you heard of the "Blue Ribbon" story?
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RE: Showing Love and Words of Encouragement - 4/30/2008 11:31:48 AM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1267
Joined: 5/27/2006
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I think that may be the same story I heard! Do you have a link?
_____________________________
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost..." -J. R. R. Tolkien
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RE: Showing Love and Words of Encouragement - 4/30/2008 12:32:04 PM
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ladyingrace1979
Posts: 205
Joined: 3/14/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lewbcw
Hi Shadow,
Thank you for your response and insightful thoughts. I actually did not have a specific answer I was looking for, but more of just general thoughts and stories.
I suppose one thing I would really like to improve upon myself is learning how to encourage the youth/students I teach. And so I was looking to hear of words or phrases used that are loving and encouraging to help build up a healthy child.
I liked your explanation of the difference between correction and correction with love.
-lewbcw
One thing that our church does is encouragement cards. Anyone can take a card and write something positive on it. They are then distributed by the jr. high or high school director. It's good for the students to learn to encorage one another and their leaders and it certainly is a blessing to the reciever.
One thing I have tried to do as a parent, in addition to afferming that my child will do better next time, after they have been corrected, is to find what they are doing right and express that to them. For example, my twins were fussing over a toy the other day and one of them suggested that they do something completely different together. I over heard this and told her that she had showed very good thinking skills and caring for her sister. So I look for stuff big and small that they are doing right and say something about it. A simple "thank you for ..." or "your good at..."
We are also a very affectionate family, lots of touch and play. We have silly little things that we say to eachother, like one will say "I love you" and we'll say "I love you more", then "I love you more, more, to infinity", and we just keep going back and forth for a little while.
After correction I also make a point, after the time out or whatever punishment is over to talk to my child and then give them a hug or play with them so they know it's over and we can move on.
Boy, I rambled, hope it made some sense.
Kim Q
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