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Rules #1 - 7/3/2008 1:55:33 AM
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gmc4Jesus
Posts: 222
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Torrance, California
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These Rules #1 were given to me by a friend back when I was going through a divorce. They helped me get a grip on my life and some issues that had been my problem in the past. I share them with you in hopes that they will help you or be a tool that you can use to help others who are going through trying situations.
They are all called "Rules #1" because no one rule is any more important than the others.
I have made this into a sermon, so I am leaving the Scriptures in that I added after getting the basic rules from my friend. I invite you to put your name in the blank and make these your "Rules #1".
How to Handle the Hurts in Your Life
______________'s Rules No. 1
Matthew 12:33-37 James 1:22-25
These are Rules are all called "Rules No. 1" because no one is more important than the others.
(Name is blank so you can put your name there if you like and make them your "Rules No. I")
1. Nothing from my past can hurt me now UNLESS I WANT IT TO.
Paul's refers to his past - "...forgetting what lies behind..." - Philippians 3:13-14
I realized that I don't have to be controlled by the past anymore. Therefore, I need to let it go and work on the future.
1. _I AM__ the only one RESPONSIBLE for the way I feel.
Notice how Paul responded to others who were trying to cause him harm. Philippians 1:13-18
1. I can't get into the OTHER PERSON’S HEAD to do their thinking for them.
Paul's rejection and later recalling of John Mark - Acts 15:37-38; II Timothy 4:11 shows that Paul did not fully understand John Mark and his actions.
Projection is imposing my stinkin' thinkin' of what I think others think of me instead of really listening to the compliments of others and appreciating myself for what they appreciate in me.
I needed to learn to accept and appreciate my positive qualities.
1. I am the only one I can CONTROL, so if I want the situation to change, I must ask what I am willing to CHANGE IN MYSELF to affect the desired change.
Paul's relationship with Barnabas - Acts 15:39-40
1. EVERYTHING I do has a PURPOSE
Paul was determined to go to Jerusalem and later to Rome. - Acts 20:22-24
I decided to listen to positive, motivational tapes, read motivational books, etc. They really helped me see the positive qualities in my life and act in a more positive way.
1. Words have MEANINGS and those meanings have POWER.
Paul talks about preaching the Gospel - 1 Corinthians 1:22 It is through words that we lead others to Christ.
An example where we need to watch our words is in the words used in arguments
The tongue can be a dangerous tool or a blessing to others James 3:6-10.
You determine what words have power and how much power they are going to have.
Engage in self-talk with positive, uplifting words. Use uplifting words when talking to and about others.
1. Who said that LIFE had to be FAIR?
It is unfair that Paul was in prison for doing good - Ephesians 6:19-20
I was feeling that I deserved better, comparing myself to others and feeling inferior. Then I considered the following:
Jews during the holocaust.
An aborted baby.
The people in the World Trade Center.
A woman being raped.
Your favorite team loosing the payoffs.
Comparing yourself to others is often out of envy or pride? We should seek to see what God sees in us and love ourselves the way He loves us.
Solution:
Change your thinking from negative to Godly!
Focus on Jesus instead of on other people!
Swallow your pride and practice humility!
How do these Rules #1 impact you?
_____________________________
Let's talk about Jesus, His life and teachings at the www.gettingtoknowjesus.org Gospel Study Forum.
Home of "Getting To Know Jesus", a complete Bible study on the life and teachings of Jesus.
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/3/2008 9:13:31 AM
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car2ner
Posts: 2566
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
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Thanks for sharing! The rule that Life Is Not Fair was one I had to learn late in life. I was so busy trying to figure out "why" and my boss and mentor told me that I still thought that life was fair. That was an insight that helped alot.
_____________________________
bungalow time http://www.car2ner.2ya.com (my blog)http://car2ner.imagekind.com/ (my portfolio)
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/3/2008 6:20:18 PM
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DougHorton
Posts: 858
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Georgia
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Very good! my children often hear versions of these:
1. _I AM__ the only one RESPONSIBLE for the way I feel.
1. I am the only one I can CONTROL.
1. Who said that LIFE had to be FAIR?
They have learned them so well, they will come back at me. :-)
_____________________________
Doug
You may think it strange, but he never likes any assistance. When he made the world, he did not ask the angel Gabriel so much as to cool the molten matter with his wing, but he did it entirely himself. -- Spurgeon
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/3/2008 10:38:49 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 5886
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
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This is really good.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
Its me!
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/4/2008 4:39:27 AM
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thiricy
Posts: 19
Joined: 8/22/2005
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Thanks for the rules, very inspirational during times like these.
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/4/2008 5:10:24 AM
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mayfly
Posts: 74
Joined: 5/26/2008
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Great list of rules. I got a list like this as an email forward not long ago, but I like the way you've worded it better, especially with the Scriptures added.
_____________________________
I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.
Psalm 130:5
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/4/2008 10:27:24 AM
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bob97
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Joined: 6/24/2006
From: Kansas
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Good list...but my number one rule is to love my God with all my heart, and soul, and mind.
Bob
_____________________________
The LORD clears the road for me!
The LORD is my high ridge, my stronghold, my deliverer!
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/4/2008 2:53:35 PM
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gmc4Jesus
Posts: 222
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Torrance, California
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Doug,
That is a clever expose of the list to the liberal viewpoint. I had never thought about it from that perspective.
Bob,
I agree that Loving God and Loving others are first. However, while we are working on learning how to do that, these "Rules #1" can be of great help.
God bless all of you as you seek to love Him with all your heart.
_____________________________
Let's talk about Jesus, His life and teachings at the www.gettingtoknowjesus.org Gospel Study Forum.
Home of "Getting To Know Jesus", a complete Bible study on the life and teachings of Jesus.
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/4/2008 4:27:45 PM
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DougHorton
Posts: 858
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From: Georgia
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Before anyone takes offense at my post, I want to point out that primarily it is meant in humor. If anything, I do hope that liberals would say that these are absurd and we do not hold these views.
Again, I don't see anything in the OP that is particularly conservative or liberal, but can be applied by both camps.
_____________________________
Doug
You may think it strange, but he never likes any assistance. When he made the world, he did not ask the angel Gabriel so much as to cool the molten matter with his wing, but he did it entirely himself. -- Spurgeon
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/5/2008 1:14:51 AM
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Butterflytearz
Posts: 142
Joined: 7/6/2006
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quote:
Solution:
Change your thinking from negative to Godly!
Focus on Jesus instead of on other people!
Swallow your pride and practice humility!
Oh so true,, yet why is it so hard for us to do?
Psalms 91:2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/5/2008 9:24:10 AM
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doinkdom
Posts: 3868
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DougHorton
quote:
ORIGINAL: SonInMe1
Sounds like the conservative manifesto.
....uhhh...are there any liberals in your church? Probably not for long.
I'm not sure how this is liberal or conservative, but to be fair, if this is conservative, I reversed the rules to see if this might meet the needs of liberals.
How to Prevent the Hurts in Your Life
1. I should bring up past hurts to recognize my role as a victim who deserves entitlements.
1. _I_AM_NEVER_ the only one RESPONSIBLE for the way I feel.
1. I can and should get into the OTHER PERSON’S HEAD to do their thinking for them.
1. I am not the only one I can CONTROL, so if I want the situation to change, I must ask how I can CHANGE OTHERS to affect the desired change.
1. NOTHING I do has a PURPOSE
1. Words can have ANY MEANING I so I can negate the POWER and AUTHORITY of others.
1. Life MUST be FAIR and therefore controlled and regulated so that someone can be held accountable for everything.
Wow...you just described most of the people in our culture today
_____________________________
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/9/2008 8:33:17 PM
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gmc4Jesus
Posts: 222
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Torrance, California
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Which rule impacts you the most?
I was caught by the very first one and all of the others built on that.
God bless you as the Holy Spirit is providing the emotional healing in your life so you can serve Him better.
_____________________________
Let's talk about Jesus, His life and teachings at the www.gettingtoknowjesus.org Gospel Study Forum.
Home of "Getting To Know Jesus", a complete Bible study on the life and teachings of Jesus.
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/10/2008 9:11:45 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 3833
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From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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I liked the list, and can agree with all but the first one.
Nothing from my past can hurt me now UNLESS I WANT IT TO.
(I used to actually believe that)
I guess it may hinge on what you mean by "hurt." I take it as having a noticible impact, a difference from what would have been had that not happened.
Stuff from the past CAN and WILL affect you now, whether you want it to or not, if it is not dealt with redemptively. The way you say it makes it sound like all I have to do is not wish it to affect me and it won't. Not so. If someone cuts off my leg, no amount of self-will will make me walk without some kind of prosthetic device. If someone cuts off my arm, I will not be able to play guitar. It is not a matter of "...if I want it to."
The same goes for emotional distresses and abuses. While they are not as visible, they can be just as debilitating. They will change your likes and dislikes. They will change how you look at things, esp things relating to the kind of abuse suffered. Do you think a woman who has suffered a violent rape ever gets over the increased vigilance? Perhaps she never trusts any man ever again. That is not something you can just decide one day to be done with. Counseling, prayer and God's healing will, in time, lessen these reactions, but only in rare cases ever totally abolish them.
I think more visually than verbally and pray that was as well. Back when I thought that all you had to do to get past that stuff was decide to be done with it and was praying about it, I was making my case to God in prayer. I had a mental pic of me with a baseball bat going up to someone and breaking his legs. THen I went to a pond and started beating the water.
"See - no real damage. No "inner healing" needed...Not like the guy with the broken legs."
At this point, God hijacked my mental pic and I heard the 'beep beep beep' of a truck backing up. This big dump truck backs up to the pond and empties its load of toxic waste, immediatly killing the fish in the pond.
I have since come to realize that a lot of help is needed to overcome certain things from the past. No, it is not good to dwell on a victim mentality. But it may take a lot of work to get past it.
_____________________________
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We are now grandparents TWICE!!
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/10/2008 10:32:45 AM
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doinkdom
Posts: 3868
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
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I think dealing with your past redemptively is important, too. And for most people, this means not dealing with it alone. Much of scripture is giving us examples and instructions on how to walk out life together...and part of living and walking out life is dealing with our past.
However, most people today would rather whine about their past and refuse help, only to blame someone else.
I still think the referred to statement is accurate, but with the added qualifier of having handled it biblically and redemptively.
_____________________________
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/10/2008 6:10:07 PM
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gmc4Jesus
Posts: 222
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Torrance, California
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DaveW, I can agree with what you are saying, but as oinkdom says, Rules #1 deal more with the mindset.
I can choose to pity party my life away because something terrible happened in my past or I can choose to take necessary steps to get over it, deal with it and get on to a brighter future. If I may, I'll cite Joni Erickson Tada as a prime example. Although the pain of a broken neck and having to be cared for in the way she needs will never go away, her attitude is not one of letting the past hurt her, but of making the best out of what she has.
For many years, I complained about the cards that I had been dealt. After learning these rules, I learned how to play those cards into a winnable hand.
Today, I'm still aware of past pains, but I focus on future gains. I don't have time to waste hurting over something that has now happened and can't be changed. I can learn from it, become more aware of any circumstances that may have contributed to it and work for a better tomorrow.
I have a wall paper that I put on my computer desktop for one month of the year. It is a beautiful fall scene and the words, "Today is the first day of the BEST of your life!"
I pray that today is truly the first day of the BEST of your life and that this becomes true every day that God gives you until He takes you to His eternal blessings.
_____________________________
Let's talk about Jesus, His life and teachings at the www.gettingtoknowjesus.org Gospel Study Forum.
Home of "Getting To Know Jesus", a complete Bible study on the life and teachings of Jesus.
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RE: Rules #1 - 7/10/2008 7:30:45 PM
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LivingParadox
Posts: 429
Joined: 2/28/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaveW
I liked the list, and can agree with all but the first one.
Nothing from my past can hurt me now UNLESS I WANT IT TO.
(I used to actually believe that)
I guess it may hinge on what you mean by "hurt." I take it as having a noticible impact, a difference from what would have been had that not happened.
Stuff from the past CAN and WILL affect you now, whether you want it to or not, if it is not dealt with redemptively. The way you say it makes it sound like all I have to do is not wish it to affect me and it won't. Not so. If someone cuts off my leg, no amount of self-will will make me walk without some kind of prosthetic device. If someone cuts off my arm, I will not be able to play guitar. It is not a matter of "...if I want it to."
The same goes for emotional distresses and abuses. While they are not as visible, they can be just as debilitating. They will change your likes and dislikes. They will change how you look at things, esp things relating to the kind of abuse suffered. Do you think a woman who has suffered a violent rape ever gets over the increased vigilance? Perhaps she never trusts any man ever again. That is not something you can just decide one day to be done with. Counseling, prayer and God's healing will, in time, lessen these reactions, but only in rare cases ever totally abolish them.
I think more visually than verbally and pray that was as well. Back when I thought that all you had to do to get past that stuff was decide to be done with it and was praying about it, I was making my case to God in prayer. I had a mental pic of me with a baseball bat going up to someone and breaking his legs. THen I went to a pond and started beating the water.
"See - no real damage. No "inner healing" needed...Not like the guy with the broken legs."
At this point, God hijacked my mental pic and I heard the 'beep beep beep' of a truck backing up. This big dump truck backs up to the pond and empties its load of toxic waste, immediatly killing the fish in the pond.
I have since come to realize that a lot of help is needed to overcome certain things from the past. No, it is not good to dwell on a victim mentality. But it may take a lot of work to get past it.
Very true.
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