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Purity Rings? - 4/25/2008 1:07:34 PM
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JesKlu
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I was just wondering what your opinions are about purity rings. Since most of you here are parents, I would like your opinions on this.
Your sister in Christ Jesus,
Jessica
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And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/25/2008 1:16:50 PM
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flowerz
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I think they are a great idea. We never bought a ring for our daughter, though I wanted to. She has remained pure without the ring, because it is more about the commitment than the ring, I think
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/25/2008 1:21:46 PM
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txhoneydarlin
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My daughter is five right now, but my husband and I wholeheartedly plan to give her one when she turns 12 or 13. I think they are a wonderul promise of a commitment for a young woman to God that she will uphold His commands, instructions and teachings regarding abstinence and purity. On a quick side note, I know that one of the girls at my church was given a purity ring when she turned 15, and when she married, she had it incorporated into her wedding set. It's a story that she can pass on to her children and grandchildren and a wonderful demonstration of her commitment to God as well.
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- Melissa
Unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die. - Joyce Meyer
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/25/2008 10:57:28 PM
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29redballoons
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My husband gave our daughter one at 13. It is three bands bonded together, we claim it represents the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and her commitment to them, us, and her future husband to remain pure. It has 13 small diamonds. She wears it on her wedding ring finger and will replace it one day with her wedding band. She is now 16. It was one of their most significant moments.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/28/2008 9:51:37 AM
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jubee
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I think that purity rings are great. We are planning to have a true love waits ring ceremony at my church, where parents will actually place the ring on their child's finger. After a sexual purity conference, they say a purity commitment pledge and the ring serves as a symbolic reminder.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/28/2008 11:32:17 AM
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Brooke313
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I think they are wonderful reminder of the commitment made by a young girl. Not only that, they are a reminder to others to back off. It lets guys know first thing that the girl is committed to remaining pure. Both of our girls have one and someday they will give them to their husbands as a sign that they have saved themselves for him.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/28/2008 6:36:48 PM
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shadowspring
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Are they for girls only or has anyone given such a ring to a son?
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/28/2008 6:40:20 PM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
Are they for girls only or has anyone given such a ring to a son?
I'd be surprised if someone had. But I'm cynical about the emphasis on a girl's purity over a guy's.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/28/2008 6:51:05 PM
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OLEEguacamole
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around here i have seen plenty of guys wearing such rings.
i object to a ring being on the "wedding ring" finger of a young unattached adult. it makes them look married and if they are still waiting for mr/miss right to come along it's an unnecessary deterrent.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/28/2008 6:53:27 PM
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dradynsmom
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My church does the whole True Love Waits thing and its for both sexes. I personally think its better to do both.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/28/2008 8:50:38 PM
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justjennhere
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My husband's parents gave him one. There was a ceremony at his church where he and other youth committed to purity, standing alongside their parents.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/28/2008 11:50:43 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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I have mixed feelings about purity rings. They can be a good idea, although I completely disagree with them being worn on the wedding ring finger. I STRONGLY believe that that finger should be reserved for engagement/wedding ring only. I think wearing a ring there for any other reason is deceptive. If you're gonna do it, let the kid wear it on the right hand.
I have seen about an equal number of boys as girls with them, so that should make some of the posters here feel better.
Now, about my mixed feelings...I can see where they could be a good way to encourage teens to save themselves for marriage...
However, we can make such a big deal of saving oneself for marriage, that we feed into a teenage girl's most likely already unrealistic expectations. Although I never had a purity ring, the way my high school taught about abstinence led me down that path. Even when two virgins marry, they each still marry a sinner, and an imperfect, fallible being. Also, if one does fall, that teen needs to know that they can repent, and are just as pure as a new creature in Christ.
Also, if you get a purity ring, at say, 13, but then you still end up single at say 36 (like me), and yes, I have stayed pure...but at this point it would seem silly to have a ring like that.
But, if that floats a parent's boat, there is nothing wrong with it, I guess.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 12:03:07 AM
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karlie
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quote:
I have mixed feelings about purity rings. They can be a good idea, although I completely disagree with them being worn on the wedding ring finger. I STRONGLY believe that that finger should be reserved for engagement/wedding ring only. I think wearing a ring there for any other reason is deceptive. If you're gonna do it, let the kid wear it on the right hand.
There's a reason for that and it's far from deceptive. One reason that was popular when we gave our girls promise rings(on their 13th birthdays), is that until a young lady is married, she belongs solely to God. Another reason, which my 19 year old loves being on a college campus, is that it discourages guys from trying to pick up on her. They see the ring and comment that she's taken and she says "yes, I am"  I don't find that deceptive at all, nor a deterrent since she is not actively seeking a relationship. One day she will marry and it will be replaced with her wedding ring. She plans on taking her purity ring off at the alter and giving it to her husband before he replaces his ring on her finger.
It's also been a valuable witnessing tool at her college. Many of her girlfriends have asked her about it and it's been a way she has been able to tell them about following God's plan for her life.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 12:11:20 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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OK, well I hadn't thought about it that way. You make some good points.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 12:58:51 AM
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genla
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I have never even heard of them before now. I think I get the concept though. They do sound cool, I kinda wish I had one...Where do you even get them?
Although, yeah, I could see where it would be a nusance after about 24 or so...
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 1:23:38 AM
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karlie
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quote:
Where do you even get them?
We got the ones for our girls at a normal jewelery store. Just regular little rings sometimes called promise rings. Theirs were similar to this.
Our oldest daughter wore hers til she got married at 23.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 9:45:09 AM
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Szaftoo
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quote:
ORIGINAL: genla
I have never even heard of them before now. I think I get the concept though. They do sound cool, I kinda wish I had one...Where do you even get them?
Sorry I don't have a picture. My husband ordered my daughter's ring from our local Bible book store. It has a cross, dove and heart on the front.
They also have rings that look more like bands for guys or chains for their neck or wrist.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 9:58:12 AM
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Tinkerbell_
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We recently took the youth of our church to a ceremony off campus and luckily Thing 1 was too young for it. I don't think I would do a purity ring only because a ring is only a symbol and if a wedding ring won't keep people from cheating, how is a purity ring going to keep my son pure? It's all a matter of the heart and the intentions of the person. People with wedding rings still cheat, and young people with purity rings still have sex. I would like to think that constantly communicating with my son, teaching him to communicate with God, and showing him the right way to do things as opposed to the worldy will be enough to keep him a virgin until he's married.
And yes...I hear the rebuttals now: "Won't you wear a wedding ring when you get married?" yes I will. And I will hope my husband will feel the same way. But I'm an adult. My son is not. He has nothing to prove to the world by wearing a purity ring. He only has to prove it to God.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 12:43:14 PM
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OLEEguacamole
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i actually think that this is a significant flaw in the concept. the tying in of the parents too strongly to purity. sexual purity is between God and an individual and the commitment should be to God. a young person should know that the compromise in breaking that commitment is a compromise in his/her walk with God.
yes parents have a role. but the relationship here is with God.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 12:57:53 PM
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karlie
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quote:
yes parents have a role. but the relationship here is with God.
That's very true, but in my opinion, until my children are adults, I am directly responsible for helping them maintain that purity. I don't think we were tied in to strongly to it at all. We trained them in the ways of God, we prayed for them and we presented them with a purity ring when they were of the appropriate age. How strongly they chose to feel that commitment to God was between them and God.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 2:35:43 PM
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stateofgrace
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Last night I glanced through this thread, and my thoughts were along the same lines as the Tinkerbell and MrsDash. I didn't post last night because in the big scheme of things as far as our walk with Christ, I don't think whether or not a parent choses to give their child a purity ring is a big deal - I think we have liberty in this area. And I didn't want to be the lone party-pooper.
Personally, I think that the purity ring thing is a fad, although well intentioned. It's much more important to me personally to focus on my children's overall walk with Christ, and help them learn to make wise choices, then to make a big deal with some kind of symbol of their purity and a ceremony or ritual surrounding it. Thousands of people wear crosses, for example, without it meaning what it should mean to them. For others it has deep meaning.
The other thing tied into the purity ring, which is certainly not true in many cases, but true in some, is the whole idea of girls "giving their heart to Daddy" (and going on "dates" with Daddy, etc.) - and I really, really am uncomfortable with putting a "romantic" focus on the father/daughter relationship.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 3:09:11 PM
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OLEEguacamole
Posts: 1196
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quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
quote:
yes parents have a role. but the relationship here is with God.
That's very true, but in my opinion, until my children are adults, I am directly responsible for helping them maintain that purity. I don't think we were tied in to strongly to it at all. We trained them in the ways of God, we prayed for them and we presented them with a purity ring when they were of the appropriate age. How strongly they chose to feel that commitment to God was between them and God.
i am really talking about the concept. i appreciate the heart of the purity ring thing. my thinking on this comes from stepping back and looking at our culture and the teens within it.
a large portion of our christian teens are not waiting. even the pledged, ringed kids.
as much as we look at our kids as still our kids (rightfully so) sex is an adult concept. kids are breaking away from their parents to stand on their own two shaky feet when it comes to sex.
i have issues with the "sex is a gift for your future spouse" too. it's about obedience. that's what purity is REALLY about. i don't think a lot of christian kids today fully understand that.
we are romanticising purity, it's more serious than that.
my teens and young adult children feel the same way about the christian perspective/marketing of purity and are saddened by how many christian kids are falling into premarital sex.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 3:27:13 PM
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bluestone
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I see them as the latest fad in the church, a lot like WWJD braclets were.
Too many in my church and community have been through the ceremony and wound up sexually active and some even pregnant.
What is the kid gonna say? "Nope, Mom & Dad, I don't want to wear the corny ring?"
Many will wear it and sin anyway, if that is what they want to do. If, however, they decide to honor God's law, then they really have no need for the ring.
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RE: Purity Rings? - 4/29/2008 3:31:56 PM
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Sideways
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Interesting point. Has anyone ever had a child refuse to wear it, or wear it for a while then take it off?
If I were a teen who wanted to get in trouble, I'd deliberately go through the song and dance of rings, ceremony, etc., just to keep mom and dad off my sent.
Of course, we will have many long and short talks with our about abstaining before marriage (and we'll discuss BC, too), but I won't be expecting him to wear a ring. His choices will be his own; I can only do my best to educate and influence him when he is young.
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