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Online dating questions - 8/21/2008 7:41:57 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2621
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
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Would you continue talking to a person you met online if he or she never sends you a picture? If he/ she seems to display the character that you're looking for, would it matter to you what he looks like?
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: Online dating etiquette - 8/21/2008 7:45:05 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12577
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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How soon are you saying to send a picture? If it's a week, that's one thing, but if it's a month or more, that's entirely something else. I like to know who I'm talking to and for people to know who they are talking to - thus why I have my picture up on here and on the other site where I was a mod.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Online dating etiquette - 8/21/2008 7:58:32 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2621
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From: The little house in the prairie
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
How soon are you saying to send a picture? If it's a week, that's one thing, but if it's a month or more, that's entirely something else. I like to know who I'm talking to and for people to know who they are talking to - thus why I have my picture up on here and on the other site where I was a mod.
Until you meet him. Would you let the communication go on further if there was no exchange of pictures but you seem to be clicking.
I guess I'm too picky like every one says. None of my friends have ever called me shallow though. If I don't like what I see on the picture, I'll click to the next, or send a reply "thank you and good luck in your search". If I do like what's on the picture, but I don't like the profile, I'd do the same thing. If I like everything, but I don't seem to fit into what he's looking for, I do the same thing. At this rate, I'll probably never find someone online, lol.
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: Online dating etiquette - 8/21/2008 8:04:59 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12577
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
How soon are you saying to send a picture? If it's a week, that's one thing, but if it's a month or more, that's entirely something else. I like to know who I'm talking to and for people to know who they are talking to - thus why I have my picture up on here and on the other site where I was a mod.
Until you meet him. Would you let the communication go on further if there was no exchange of pictures but you seem to be clicking.
I guess I'm too picky like every one says. None of my friends have ever called me shallow though. If I don't like what I see on the picture, I'll click to the next, or send a reply "thank you and good luck in your search". If I do like what's on the picture, but I don't like the profile, I'd do the same thing. If I like everything, but I don't seem to fit into what he's looking for, I do the same thing. At this rate, I'll probably never find someone online, lol.
Hmmmm....hard call. I'd be hesitant myself.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Online dating etiquette - 8/21/2008 8:11:13 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2621
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
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quote:
Hmmmm....hard call. I'd be hesitant myself
What if he likes soccer more than you do??? LOL. Would that make a difference?
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: Online dating etiquette - 8/21/2008 8:13:35 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 12577
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
Hmmmm....hard call. I'd be hesitant myself
What if he likes soccer more than you do??? LOL. Would that make a difference?
Oh, that's no fair! LOLOLOL If he did, I'd probably already know him. But yeah, I'd keep talking to him.
Yikes, it's like that?
Keep talking to him......
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
Lisa is happy THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!
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RE: Online dating etiquette - 8/21/2008 8:24:01 AM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2621
Joined: 12/11/2007
From: The little house in the prairie
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mutinywxgirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
quote:
Hmmmm....hard call. I'd be hesitant myself
What if he likes soccer more than you do??? LOL. Would that make a difference?
Oh, that's no fair! LOLOLOL If he did, I'd probably already know him. But yeah, I'd keep talking to him.
Yikes, it's like that?
Keep talking to him......
LOL! I knew I'd get you there. We all have a weakness. I don't know what mine is, but I can't think of anything that would make me communicate with someone who doesn't have a picture on his profile. My mind automatically thinks he's married, or he's a criminal in hiding, lol.
There's a couple at work who met online, and did not see what each other until they met. And when they met, they were already officially dating and had been planning on marrying. Very brave in my opinion. They've been happily married for more than 5 years now. So, it does work for some. Not for me though.
_____________________________
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power through out the universe displayed
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
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RE: Online dating questions - 8/21/2008 9:55:02 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Would you continue talking to a person you met online if he or she never sends you a picture? If he/ she seems to display the character that you're looking for, would it matter to you what he looks like?
If they don't have a picture up I won't talk to them at all.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Online dating questions - 8/21/2008 11:42:37 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Would you continue talking to a person you met online if he or she never sends you a picture? If he/ she seems to display the character that you're looking for, would it matter to you what he looks like?
If they don't have a picture up I won't talk to them at all.
I'm pretty much of this opinion. It's not because I'm "shallow", but because I believe that one can see much (though certainly not all) of another person in their picture. There's so much to know...and not a lot of ways to find out online. So pictures are more helpful in that way.
For instance, one of the first guys that was interested in me on EH sounded wonderful on his profile. He was well within physical parameters (and mine are extremely relaxed!) for me. BUT...the thing that got me was the fact that he had his pic taken in an office...maybe his, maybe not...and behind him on the wall were scads and scads of diplomas and certificates, professionally framed. He was wearing a three-piece suit and tie.
That, along with several mentions of "ambition" and the fact that one of his "best life skills" was "making money" really told me that this person was not my type at all.
Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against having or making money. But I will not fit well with a person who puts "ambition" at the top of their priority list of character qualities.
I might have missed the words in his profile if I hadn't seen his picture.
Pictures are important. And I won't go very long without seeing one. On EH I request them as soon as a match shows up without one. Regardless of pic or no, I close the match if they haven't communicated in a month.
shallbe
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RE: Online dating questions - 8/21/2008 3:42:15 PM
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AngelInWaiting1983
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Joined: 6/8/2007
From: South Carolina
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LabGuy
I don't think it's shallow to want to know what the other person looks like. Nor is it shallow for appearance to be a factor. (Shallow is if it's the only or dominant factor, like only considering people who look like models.)
There is a physical component to love; it's the way God designed us so there's nothing to be ashamed of. There's no way a marriage could work if you couldn't stand the sight of your spouse! And to flip it around, would you want to be married to someone who didn't find you attractive?
I believe you love a whole person - inside and out. If you have a balanced perspective, then when you like who someone is on the inside, you're more likely to find the outside attractive. But that part of it definitely has to be there. If it isn't, then it isn't and trying to force things is a bad idea. It's not a cause for shame for either party. Because as John has said more than once, everybody is attractive to somebody. It's finding them that's the tricky part!
-Robb
Wonderfully stated Robb!
_____________________________
Reflecting with Terri
Dance like no one is watching. If they are, who cares!
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RE: Online dating questions - 8/22/2008 12:59:47 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4201
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
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i think the longer you go without posting a pic or meeting, is just more time for our brains to fill in gaps of what we don't know with made up information that can set us up for disappointment ... our expectations could just be really built up ... if one asks and other person refuses, perhaps they're hiding something ... i can see about not having a pic up maybe on the site but no reason after a week or so to refuse a pic unless you just want to be friends with someone ...
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Photoblogging My Life
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RE: Online dating questions - 8/22/2008 1:17:28 PM
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losgan
Posts: 714
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Austin-Garland, Texas
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Would you continue talking to a person you met online if he or she never sends you a picture? If he/ she seems to display the character that you're looking for, would it matter to you what he looks like?
It bugs me when someone doesn't have a picture up that is doing online dating. In this day and age, getting a digital photo is pretty easy. Even if you don't have a camera or cell phone with a camera - chances are, you know someone who does and could ask them to snap a picture and email it to you.
Something about it seems to conincide with either a lack of confidence or an intent to mislead (usually the first option though).
While I try not to place too much emphasis on looks, the fact is that I'm not blind.
I did once meet someone from a dating site that didn't have a picture. It was pretty awkward, since I had no clue who I was looking for, but he did know. And, fact is - he was definitely lying about his height. He said he was 5'9" ... but I saw us in the reflection in a window - he was shorter than me, and I'm 5'4".
Someone who will lie about things from the beginning does not have the character I am looking for. So, since that experience I prefer to see a picture.
Edited to add - and yes, you can often tell a LOT about a person from his or her picture! If he has a beer in his hand in 9 out of 10 pictures, or his arm around various other girls ... I'm probably not interested. Especially if he says he only drinks a few times a year ...
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RE: Online dating questions - 8/22/2008 1:53:59 PM
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sunshinesoprano
Posts: 903
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Georgia
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I haven't read all the posts, but as strongly as I long for people to not be superficial, I do feel that a picture can tell you a lot about a person.
I get a lot of sloppy, greasy, yucky looking people that send me winks, or smiles, or whatever and when I see that picture, I never think another thought about it. I may be slightly on the "large frame" side, but by golly I take care of myself, keep myself clean and care about my appearance....my body is after all the temple of God.
If I see some picture of a person who obviously doesn't care enough about themselves to keep clean, dress neatly, keep their hair kempt, or at least work out, then that tells me they are probably lazy or slovenly, which I CAN'T STAND! Worst turnoff ever is a lazy person.
Now...you may say, what if that's just one example of them and they might really be a nice, clean person in real life....
My answer....PICK A BETTER PIC!!!! 
_____________________________
Pure Heart-Fresh, Progressive Southern Gospel
Sing, laugh, love, PRAISE!
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RE: Online dating questions - 8/22/2008 2:00:36 PM
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.Pammy
Posts: 3951
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: PA, USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshinesoprano
I haven't read all the posts, but as strongly as I long for people to not be superficial, I do feel that a picture can tell you a lot about a person.
I get a lot of sloppy, greasy, yucky looking people that send me winks, or smiles, or whatever and when I see that picture, I never think another thought about it. I may be slightly on the "large frame" side, but by golly I take care of myself, keep myself clean and care about my appearance....my body is after all the temple of God.
If I see some picture of a person who obviously doesn't care enough about themselves to keep clean, dress neatly, keep their hair kempt, or at least work out, then that tells me they are probably lazy or slovenly, which I CAN'T STAND! Worst turnoff ever is a lazy person.
Now...you may say, what if that's just one example of them and they might really be a nice, clean person in real life....
My answer....PICK A BETTER PIC!!!!
I've been lurking, and Heather, I've gotta say -- this is a wonderful post!
Oh, and speaking of pictures, yours is a beautiful profile picture!
_____________________________
Pam
"Sweet-talkers win at singles' bars and in politics ... often with similar outcomes for the listener."
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RE: Online dating questions - 8/22/2008 2:09:36 PM
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sunshinesoprano
Posts: 903
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: .Pammy
quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshinesoprano
I haven't read all the posts, but as strongly as I long for people to not be superficial, I do feel that a picture can tell you a lot about a person.
I get a lot of sloppy, greasy, yucky looking people that send me winks, or smiles, or whatever and when I see that picture, I never think another thought about it. I may be slightly on the "large frame" side, but by golly I take care of myself, keep myself clean and care about my appearance....my body is after all the temple of God.
If I see some picture of a person who obviously doesn't care enough about themselves to keep clean, dress neatly, keep their hair kempt, or at least work out, then that tells me they are probably lazy or slovenly, which I CAN'T STAND! Worst turnoff ever is a lazy person.
Now...you may say, what if that's just one example of them and they might really be a nice, clean person in real life....
My answer....PICK A BETTER PIC!!!!
I've been lurking, and Heather, I've gotta say -- this is a wonderful post!
Oh, and speaking of pictures, yours is a beautiful profile picture!
Aww, thanks Pammy! For both compliments!  
_____________________________
Pure Heart-Fresh, Progressive Southern Gospel
Sing, laugh, love, PRAISE!
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