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New Christian with problems - 3/23/2008 10:12:54 PM
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gobucks2073
Posts: 5
Joined: 3/19/2008
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First of all,I gave my life to my Lord and Savior a just few weeks ago.I love him with all my heart and I would not have it any other way.I have a few problems and just had a few questions.
Like I said I gave my life to Christ a few weeks ago.Last weekend I broke up with my girlfriend of almost two years because of the direction and other circumstances of the relationship.To put it lightly the relationship was not something that Christ would approve of.It was probably one of the toughest things I have ever done but I felt that is what He wanted me to do.This past weekend she called me and told me how much she loved me and she wanted to make it work.I have to confess that I absolutely adore her.When I talked to her I told her I got saved and she didn't have a problem with it.
Now for a few questions I have:Did I jump the gun breaking up with her?Should I give it another try?How do we know exactly what God's will is?
Thanks in advance for your advice and pray for me that I will always know God's will.
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/23/2008 10:24:22 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 12517
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: By The Airport
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Hmmmm, well first of all is she open to the Gospel? The Bible is clear about not being equally yoked. Will being with her help your relationship with Christ? Can you be with her and be sin free? These are some of the questions that you need to ask.
_____________________________
I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.
I may listen to a thousand tongues but I only hear one whisper. -- First Call
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/23/2008 11:27:44 PM
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bsjones84
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I believe you made the correct decision in ending the nature of the relationship. You said yourself that you don't believe Jesus would approve. That's all you need to know to justify your decision. As HumbleinSpirit mentioned, the bible is clear about not being unequally yoked together. However, you can maintain a relationship with her, but not of the same nature. You can be a friend to her, and a witness. Some of the best opportunities to share the gospel with people are explaing to everyone you knew before hand why you aren't the same. Your friends and family will notice the changes and ask you about them. As Peter said, be prepared to give a reason for your faith. That said, you can maintain a friendship with your exgirlfriend and try to lead her to Christ. She may say she doesn't have a problem with your conversion, and may be sincere; however, she may not realize what it truly means. She may not realize that you are now dead to your former ways. Pray first for her soul that she might also be converted and also for her understanding. Be patient and wait on God. He will lead your steps.
Bub,
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/25/2008 11:22:30 AM
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Biblefreak
Posts: 751
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From: the spirit of God
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You may have jumped the gun a bit. You should both be seeking God. That way you'll grow togather to do what God wants. For your lives and jobs.
_____________________________
"When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love"
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/25/2008 1:02:39 PM
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Coaster
Posts: 39
Joined: 6/25/2005
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You didn't state why you broke up with her.
Try not to be so heavenly that you are no earthly good.
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/25/2008 6:38:24 PM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 213
Joined: 4/20/2005
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Hello gobucks2073
You have an excellent source of discernment here. Share with her everything that the Lord does in your heart. Witness to her. Share with he the truths that the Lord gives you.
She will eventually either join you in God's kingdom by giving her life to Him or leave you.
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/25/2008 11:22:13 PM
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APZR
Posts: 586
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: GA
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I agree with the 3 above, radical reactions rarely are the answer. Soft discerning love and changes to help each other grow together may lead to a much more full filling life. If you could attend church and grow together, how much stronger would your bond be?
_____________________________
Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/26/2008 12:57:13 PM
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YZGUY
Posts: 125
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I'm not sure if you jumped the gun or not, but if you do continue some form of relationship with her, then setting appropriate boundaries are in order. This may be very difficult to do, especially if you have been intimate with her. You suggested that you did not think it was something Christ would approve of. Were there aspects of the relationship (like the Physical Relationship) or more than that. Whether you felt God leading you to end the relationship or just to set boundaries is uncertain to me - but perhaps it was clearer to you. I suggest no matter what, you stick with Christ (which sounds like what you want to do).
Personally, I do not think it is a good idea to date those whom you will not marry (the unequally yoked comes to mind) - but that does not necessarily mean that something cannot happen in the future - as long as she learns to love the Lord - and not just simply to become a Christian to have you. You can know this by her respect for God's boundaries, her desire to obey Him, her time in the Word (outside of being with you), her attitude towards church, the Bible, and a relationship with Christ, etc.
I suggest you get a mentor from the church to walk you through this.
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/26/2008 4:07:21 PM
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russellwood265
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From: Aberdeen, Scotland
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I think the fact you had the courage to break up with her after only a few weeks of being saved is absolutely commendable!
In terms of how you know exactly what God's will is? I believe that if He wants you to know or realise something, then He knows the most effective method of telling you! Whether it's placing a burning fire in your heart (well that's what it feels like!) or whether He appears to you like He did to Saul/Paul!
If you go the wrong direction, then He'll correct you. (See Acts 16:6-10)
And Psalm 32:8 says "The LORD says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway for your life, I will advise you and watch over you'."
I'm a relatively recent convert myself (well, 3 years and 1 week ago...so less recent than it used to be!!!), so I know exactly where you're coming from!
All the best, I'll be praying for you tonight.
R
_____________________________
Even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honourable behaviour (1 Peter 2:12)
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/28/2008 3:37:17 AM
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gobucks2073
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To update you my situation,I continue to struggle with this situation.After telling her that I had been saved and explaining everything to her she was very interested in what I was saying.She had a lot of questions that I could not answer because I know little more than she does.The biggest struggle I have is that we have been intimate for so long that it is very difficult to turn it off.I have somewhat learned to deal with it but like last night we were sitting on the couch talking.One thing lead to another and well you know.At first she reminded me about what I said and she was just fine with it but it happened later anyway.I feel awful about it and I prayed about it but it is still difficult.Please pray for me.
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/28/2008 9:50:51 AM
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bsjones84
Posts: 21
Joined: 3/23/2008
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Read about Joseph in Genesis when Pharoah's wife was coming after him. Satan will hinder you in whatever way he can to keep you from drawing closer to God and growing as a Christian. This is especially true for new believers who are babes and don't have much understanding and are still use to a sinful lifestyle. Paul told the Romans to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Ro 12:2). Also read the fourth chapter of Philippians, especially verse 8. Paul lists several things about which it is good for Christians to think. When we are bothered by temptation and our thoughts become overwhelmed with sinful behavior, I find it helpful to begin thinking about such things as Paul listed. Think of a parable Jesus taught, or a particular portion of scripture that you like. Not only does it take your mind off of the sinful thoughts, but you are renewing your mind by filling it with good things as well. Also, Jesus told us to watch and pray lest we enter into temptation. The best thing we can do when we are tempted is to get away from everything so there are not distractions (of any kind, not just sinful influences) and pray for God to lift you up. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
We as Christians stumble, especially when we are just getting into it all and haven't had enough time for our faith to be strengthened. John wrote that we ought not sin, but if we sin we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous (1 John 2:1,2). God is faithful to forgive us when we stumble. This doesn't excuse our sins (Paul said not to use our liberty as an occassion to the flesh), it encourages us to humble ourselves before God and depend on Him to bring us out of our sins. The bible also says those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. When we are tempted, if we pray and depend on God, in faith, to deliver us, He will give us strength to stand.
Continue to pray and seek God. Learn from your mistakes and submit your soul to the Holy Ghost. He will lead you in truth and righteousness. When you feel satan is pulling you away, call on God to lead you closer to Him.
Bub,
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RE: New Christian with problems - 3/28/2008 10:31:08 PM
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x_SoliDeoGloria_x
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It sounds like the two of you still care very much for each other, and that she is open to learning more about your Christian experience. However, sitting alone together on the couch isn't going to work. Do you think she would be open to trying just old-fashioned dating, eg going out for dinner, going to a movie, etc., but agreeing not to spend time alone where temptations would be too strong to resist?
_____________________________
"Not by work going before grace shall I deserve grace, nor by my work following grace shall I deserve eternal life; but to him that believes, sin is pardoned and righteousness imputed." -- Martin Luther
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RE: New Christian with problems - 4/2/2008 5:04:11 PM
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grace2grace2008
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Joined: 4/2/2008
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Well i dont really know the circumstances to which you broke up in so its hard to say. But remember, God has given us the freedom of will, so the choice is yours to make. (unless god has some specific plans in mind for you)
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RE: New Christian with problems - 4/4/2008 10:31:36 AM
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gobucks2073
Posts: 5
Joined: 3/19/2008
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Things are going a little better.She is going to church with me and she is enjoying it.We have talked about Christ and she is really not sure about it.She has alot of questions that I can not answer but we are making progress.I thank God for all of you that have given me help and all that are praying for me.I trust the He will lead me in the right direction and please keep praying for me.
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RE: New Christian with problems - 4/9/2008 5:19:26 PM
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SHIFT
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Joined: 6/2/2005
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find a married couple in your church that you can hang out with and get all of your questions out
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RE: New Christian with problems - 4/14/2008 7:05:37 AM
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gobucks2073
Posts: 5
Joined: 3/19/2008
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I am very happy to say that my girlfriend accepted Jesus on Sunday morning at church.Praise God and keep us in your prayers
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RE: New Christian with problems - 4/23/2008 1:07:56 PM
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DaveW
Posts: 3594
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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That is excelent news! Like Shift said, you need to find a married couple from the congregation you can ask your question to, and that will help you grow up in the Lord.
God may have you back together or maybe not. Time will tell. Be prepared to go either way.
_____________________________
Avatar is Saphira 5 months and Louvena at 23 months!
We are now grandparents TWICE!!
====================================
Our CD is now available here:
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RE: New Christian with problems - 4/23/2008 10:05:56 PM
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JordanW
Posts: 591
Joined: 4/23/2008
From: Bakersfield, California
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That's great to hear dude. I hope that you and your girlfriend keep the problems to a minimum and I hope everything works out!
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