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Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/4/2008 12:54:55 AM
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ry_guy
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Is it wrong for a guy to say that he likes a certain kind of woman based on ethnicity/culture--i.e. Korean, Japanese, Russian, French, etc.?
I personally find it easier to get along with, for example, oriental women who are not yet Americanized...
Is that bad of me?
I mentioned something to that effect on a Catholics singles site, and I got a lot of flak!
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/4/2008 4:21:48 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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I don't think it is wrong to be attracted to one race over another. However, I have heard that SOME men prefer "oriental," although the pc term is "Asian," because they think Asian women are more subservient, and easier to keep under the thumb. So, I hope that is not your reason..especially, as my Chinese brother in law will tell you, they aren't even like that.
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/4/2008 11:57:01 AM
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ry_guy
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No that's not the reason.
I think it may be because the Asians I've met in my life generally have been quiet and reserved--not party animals or extremely extroverted.
I've recently been told by a friend who taught in Thailand for several months that Thai culture is quiet--and that I probably, in not being a loud person and quiet and reserved myself, would probably fit in.
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/4/2008 12:50:26 PM
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free-to-worship
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I agree with OneofHiwJewels. To be attracted to the a certain person and/or race is fine, but it's not fine to be attracted to thme for purpsoes other than them being something you stereotypically think they may be.
quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
I don't think it is wrong to be attracted to one race over another. However, I have heard that SOME men prefer "oriental," although the pc term is "Asian," because they think Asian women are more subservient, and easier to keep under the thumb. So, I hope that is not your reason..especially, as my Chinese brother in law will tell you, they aren't even like that.
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/4/2008 6:22:02 PM
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Auben
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No, it's not wrong, but I think you'll be disappointed if you think all women from one nation are the same.
I've met noisy Thai women, flirty Burmese women, talkative Chinese women, and aggressive Japanese women so it depends really.
Plus the flip side is that there are reserved American girls.
Be attracted to individuals, not groups.
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~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/5/2008 1:53:46 AM
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StraightAhead
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Folks that may not truly know you and your heart on views of women (assuming you are a man who values women and is not looking for a doormat) , might judge you as someone who wants a subservient woman. Stereotypes (not necessarily true for all women of course) of foreign vs American women portray foreign women as more submissive to the point of subservience. Therefore, if a man "prefers" a foreign woman, it can send out the wrong message.......
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/5/2008 1:18:28 PM
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mvic
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Get to know the woman you meet. Her likes, dislikes, her views and opinions on a variety of matters, her values in life and what she hopes for in the future.
Then if you two are destined for each other, you'd be better placed to please her and make her happy.
Her race, ethnic origin, nationality or whetever are not that important ... really.
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/5/2008 2:33:33 PM
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Prairiehiker
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I've seen this happen a lot. I'm from an Asian background and there's a lot of men where I live who will only date Asians because, apparently, we are into serving our men. I see this a lot in my culture (well, I grew up in Canada so, I am more from the Canadian culture and not Asian). My sisters are all very submissive to their men, and their needs come very last. All the men that I've dated told me I don't fit the mold because I am nothing like the Asian women that they've dated. So, if anyone is looking to date me because of my Asian background, he will be so disappointed! LOL
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/5/2008 11:04:51 PM
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rgod
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I'd have to echo what everyone else said - that for the most part - if you are looking for a stereotype - you might be really dissapointed (or enlightened) when the reality is far different.
Prairiehiker - it is interesting what you mentioned about your ethnic background. My issue is the same - but coming from an opposite angle. I'm black American and often - men who are looking for sassy, hip women who are aggressive will try to talk to me. Men and women often try to greet me with some kind of new handshake or some kind of MTV or rap phrase - or pepper their conversations with "girlfriend" or "you go girl." Or, they assume I'm a buppie - listen to jazz, drive a BMW, and am smooth. The whole thing is a bit like being in the twilight zone sometimes! I am not hip (never really have been - even when I was younger) and am not really very sassy. I am not aggressive in any sense of the word - although I am a self-starter when it comes to learning new things (or career). I'm just myself - a bit nerdy - with lots and lots of different interests - but at the same time just a bit unusual in my outlook on life (kind of artsy I guess). So I understand what it is to be approached by people (of all races) who want you to be a walking stereotype - and how they react when you aren't what they expect.
< Message edited by rgod -- 7/6/2008 12:09:38 AM >
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/5/2008 11:05:56 PM
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Dakotasunbeam
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I don't think so . . . If you truly find them attractive. But . . .
Most guys I have known of who say this generally have a few things in common.
1. They are socially awkward or percieved to be so by women (i.e. American women)
2. They are seeking a foriegn woman because of a stereotype that they feel will accomodate them in some way
3. They believe foriegn women will not notice or be aware of some "flaw" they have
4. They have been hurt and/or rejected A LOT by women of their own culture
5. They are angry at women of their own culture (i.e. American, etc. etc), pos. bad experience w/Mom
6. They percieve the "foriegn" culture has some "superiority" to their own and they seek to appropriate that in the form of the "foriegn" wife.
One or all of these usually come into play when a man says something of what you've just said. And I have heard the likes of it from ALL kinds of men (and women) regarding the opposite gender of their cutlure/social group/nation/ etc.
The truth is that there are positives and negatives to each culture/race/social group/nation, etc. We should look for people according to their relationship with God as believers and whether they like us and are willing to accept us for who we are and love us for a lifetime. Do not hide in another culture just because you think you don't "fit" in your own. Just live and let the world see you for who you are. What I see from your post, is a guy who feels like he doesn't fit in. He'd like to feel that he has a place, so he searches. Learn who you are in Christ, and no matter where you are, you will be at home. And you won't need to marry someone just to feel like you fit in, or feel you're OK. You will marry because there was a true connection, and you love that individual entirely.
I'd feel so cheated to be a woman chosen because of my race/social standing/nation or some percieved stereotype. What a rip off. I'd rather he married me, because one day we looked into each others eyes, and realized we'd like to keep looking in them for a life time. Look for a girl whose comfortable in her own skin . . . but first, you've got to be comfortable in your own.
Blessings!
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/5/2008 11:14:51 PM
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beachcooky
Posts: 783
Joined: 6/21/2008
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It wouldn't be wrong for you to not like oriental woman. If someone gave you a hard time about it, then they have issues. I mean, I'm attracted to "punk" guys. Haha. It's true, it's true.
But "punks" aren't the only ones that I have dated. I try to get to know someone BEFORE I date them. Even though I'd prefer to date punk men, I've dated all variety of men only because personality overrules all.
I'm not saying looks don't matter. I believe that looks DO matter. But I don't date someone just because they look good, I date someone if there's a lot of chemistry between us. :)
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/21/2008 2:11:47 PM
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BlessUsLord
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Well not everyone from the same country has the same personality or temperament. Seek to know people on an individual basis instead of making assumptions about a whole group of people.
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/21/2008 4:08:03 PM
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sudden
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From: Toronto
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There is NOTHING wrong with having personal preferences. We all have them and it doesn't matter why (idea that Asian women are more traditional - subservient etc) Who cares? There is nothing wrong with this type of preference either.
You go boy and find your Asian dream girl!
I personally drempt of a man with black hair and blue eyes..dated him once...didn't marry him though. (Married someone with brown hair and hazel eyes). You will find that the general population is very sparsely populated by folks with these features. Black hair and blue eyes is a dizzying and very rare combination. There are TONS of Asian women though.
You go boy!
Sudden
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I will lie down in rest and sleep and peace, for thou, O Lord, only makest me to dwell in safety.
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RE: Is it wrong to say you like foreign women? - 7/21/2008 4:45:15 PM
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slushie
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BlessUsLord
Well not everyone from the same country has the same personality or temperament. Seek to know people on an individual basis instead of making assumptions about a whole group of people.
I agree with this. I'm Asian and I'm anything but meek and subservient.
If a man wanted to marry an Asian so she would be a doormat and let him wipe his feet on her, there'd be something wrong with him.
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