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Feeling overwhelmed javascript:void(AddText('[\&o]')) - 6/3/2008 12:47:18 AM
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cassij7280
Posts: 1
Joined: 6/3/2008
Status: offline
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I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 years now..... We talked about being married and having children one day..... I recently found out that I was pregnant now he treats me like he doesnt know me and doesnt want me around.... He said that he doesnt want the baby .  It breaks my heart because I feel as though if you love someone you will be there to support them no matter what. Im feeling alone and just sad because I dont really have much family my mom and grandma pjavascript:void(AddText('[\&o]'))assed away last year I pray every night for answers apon what to do for guideance I just feel shut out and alone at times.
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RE: Feeling overwhelmed javascript:void(AddText('[\&o]')) - 6/3/2008 9:40:30 AM
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Szaftoo
Posts: 879
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: So. Calif.
Status: offline
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Welcome.
What is your current situation? Do you work and how old are you? Are you part of a church body where you can get emotional help with your situation?
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RE: Feeling overwhelmed javascript:void(AddText('[\&o]')) - 6/3/2008 3:14:08 PM
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delete123
Posts: 681
Joined: 6/1/2005
Status: offline
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Cassi~
I am soooo sorry for your heart break! Just from what you posted it appears your fiance only loved the intimacy of the relationship which makes his love conditional.
Now that he has helped make a baby he doesn't want the responsibility that comes along with it.
Do you have any friends? or a church family? Maybe they can help support you during this wonderful time of becoming a mom.
If your fiance continues to ignore you, please seek legal help to care for your child. He can run and hide( but not from God) from what he has done, but legally he is obligated to provide for his child.
I am sorry you do not have your mom or g'ma to be their for you.
said a prayer for you~
CRH
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RE: Feeling overwhelmed javascript:void(AddText('[\&o]')) - 6/4/2008 3:10:21 PM
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March7
Posts: 349
Joined: 6/1/2008
From: Western US
Status: offline
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Psalm 63:1-8 (ESV)
O God, You are my God; earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh faints for You, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon You in the sanctuary, beholding Your power and glory. Because Your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise You. So I will bless you as long as I live; in Your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise You with joyful lips, when I remember You upon my bed, and meditate on You in the watches of the night; for You have been my help and in the shadow of Your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.
I am praying the above verse for you, that God will be Your all in all as He leads you to practical help. One practical source of help online might be www.focusonthefamily.com, a Christian ministry committed to helping guide all aspects of individual and family life. You can go there and look around at their many sub-ministries. They can sometimes advise someone on helps in their local area, like Christian pregnancy help centers. Also, they provide free counseling services by phone: "Focus has a staff of more than twenty licensed Christian counselors available to talk with you. To speak with one of them, please call (800) 232-6459 Monday-Friday 9-4:30 (Mountain time), and ask for the Counseling department. One of the counselors' assistants will arrange for a counselor to call you back at no charge to you."
The Lord bless you... 
_____________________________
"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy...before all time and now and forever. Amen" (Jude 1:24, ESV).
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RE: Feeling overwhelmed javascript:void(AddText('[\&o]')) - 6/4/2008 11:24:22 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1498
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: offline
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I am so sorry you find yourself in this hard place, Cassij. (((Hugs)))
The first step for you to take I'd think is get your relationship with God straight. His Word clearly says (in about 8 places) that we are not to practice fornication - that's sex before marriage - and you have violated His command. Confess (God says it is sin and we say it is sin), repent (turn around and go the other way - don't have sex outside of marriage anymore. Either be celibate or get married) and accept that God has forgiven you, because He promises He would (I John 1:9) when we confess our sin.
The second step that would be good for you to take is one that's already been suggested - contact the local Crisis Pregnancy Clinic and get some help. You'll find kind Christian women working there who will love you and help you. I don't (as in DO NOT) recommend Planned Parenthood because when you walk in the door they see dollar signs and they will counsel you to abort. They'll make light of killing the child that God has given you, and you would have guilt and feel terrible the rest of your life.
The third step is to plan the next year and the next twenty years. You may want to plan to adopt out your child to a stable Christian couple who have empty arms and can give your child the gift of a two-parent family. Your bf would have to give up his parental rights, but it wouldn't cost him money for the next 18 years.
If you keep the child, you'll need to marshall your resources and figure how to pay for everything: hospital bill (our kid cost $15,000 18 years ago but we had some problems), set up for crib, clothes, equipment, and car seat, and how you're going to pay rent, transportation and groceries while you're laid up and then sleepless for some months. Then figure out how to raise this child while working full time and without any help from a mate. It costs about $200,000 to raise a kid to legal age, not counting college.
Next, I'd get a lawyer and go after bf for child support for the next 18 years. Prepare for him to hate you for it, but if he won't do the right thing by his kid at least the law will force him. Ordinarily guys don't pay child support longer than 2 years - they disappear or refuse to work or something. A guy who would ditch his pregnant gf is ditching his own child - really despicable and low down (next time, pick a better man: one who loves you and will commit to a lifetime of marriage and will be thrilled when children come).
Lastly, I'd consider finding another church that teaches from the pulpit the Bible on how to live the Christian life. The one you're in didn't since your post didn't include awareness that you'd sinned badly. The church you're in has done you a tremendous diservice, and there may be other really basic guidelines of how not to jump off a cliff that you haven't been taught yet and could be waiting to bite you. Only God's ways work, so find a place that teaches it.
God bless you, dear one. This is hard, but God can bring great good out of it and will teach you how to live a life of success and joy no matter where you start from. And a new child is on its way - a blessing of life! Wow!
If you aren't already doing it, I recommend you start reading the Bible every day and learning that it's a love letter from God to you. Three chapters a day will get you through it in a year (then start over - I do this, and I learn a bunch more every time. You will, too). (((Hugs))) to you, dear one; I am praying for you tonight. God bless you.
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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