Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the one that God meant for you?
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Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the one... - 7/6/2008 5:41:01 PM
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onajrny
Posts: 6
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Virginia
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Hi everyone. I just joined today and I've really enjoyed reading some of the posts about marriage and relationships. Sometimes when I have problems I feel so isolated and alone. I realize I'm never alone because God knows everything I'm thinking and feeling but I guess it's my human nature to feel physically alone in this world. I've been married for ten years and I've never truly been happy...only when my two beautiful children were born. My husband and I have always been like oil and water. I could go into detail about what he's like and what I'm like but basically, we're very different. I came to the Lord two years ago and it has been the best two years because of my growing relationship with Him. I know I need to continue to pray about my marriage and God will work everything out for the best. I just have no other way of saying it, I don't truly love my husband. I'm not emotionally or physically attracted to him and it's painful to admit that but I've never felt like we were "soul mates". I wish when I was younger that I had saught a relationship with Jesus and asked Him to lead me to the person that I'm supposed to grow old with. I just don't (and have never) felt like my husband is that man. I find myself day dreaming about other men and I know it's a sin but I can't help it. I know the Bible teaches that we are to love our husbands and stay in our marriages but what if you're miserable sometimes? What do I do? I've just always felt that there was someone else I was supposed to be with. I get so discouraged sometimes and I have so much love, passion and emotion that has been unused for so many years that I've just become numb toward my husband. I don't want to be intimate with him and it's not fair to him but I don't know what to do. Please pray for me.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/6/2008 5:48:50 PM
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csl7037
Posts: 849
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Honestly, I think everyone feels that way at some point. What you have to do is focus on being/becoming the wife God has called you to be.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/6/2008 8:13:12 PM
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karlie
Posts: 16591
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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quote:
I just don't (and have never) felt like my husband is that man. I find myself day dreaming about other men and I know it's a sin but I can't help it. I know the Bible teaches that we are to love our husbands and stay in our marriages but what if you're miserable sometimes?
I think questioning whether or not we married "the right one" or "the one God made for us" is a very dangerous slope that leads to further discontentment and pain for everyone. As long as you are going there in your mind, you will never be content in your marriage. The truth is, once we commit to someone and enter into marriage with them, they are the right one, even if it wasn't the original intention of God or the one we should have chosen. It's now a covenant and it's time stop questioning what could have or should have been, and to look at what we can do to breathe life into that marriage and become the spouse we should be.
I think looking at this from your husband's point of view may help you see things a little more clearly. It's very likely he is feeling the same exact way as you...it's rare that one spouse is discontent while the other is just completely satisfied and thrilled with the marriage. He is probably feeling as lonely and isolated as you are in the marriage, and maybe even questioning himself if he made the right decision. The only way that will change is for one of you to reach out to the other and decide to create change and closeness in the marriage.
In the end, no matter who we are married to, being a good wife(or husband) comes down to doing it for God and not always for the person we are married to. Being the spouse God wants us to be means giving our will over to God. If we can't do the right thing for love of our spouse, then we should be able to begin by looking at it as an act of obedience to God. Often, behaving our way into real change, even when we don't feel it, creates a change of heart and a change in our emotions. Sometimes, it's the act of obedience and just doing what's right that releases the flow of blessings back into that area of our lives.
_____________________________
Shoes CAN change your life...just ask Cinderella
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/7/2008 3:54:20 AM
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DreadPirateRandy
Posts: 9278
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quote:
ORIGINAL: csl7037
Honestly, I think everyone feels that way at some point.
I'm inclined to disagree.
I don't think everyone feels the need to daydream about other individuals, or refute all physical and emotional attraction. If anything, it's nothing but a mental state.
If I knew my wife was lusting after other men 5-10 years after being married, I would be incredibly heartbroken. This problem is not only adultery against your spouse, but it's also the source that causes loss of intimacy.
_____________________________
I'm bringing sleazy back.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/7/2008 7:51:28 AM
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HenriettasCat
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quote:
I don't think everyone feels the need to daydream about other individuals
Daydreaming about another person other than our spouse is not a need it is a choice - not only that but it is sin. Any temptation in that direction comes from the enemy and should be taken captive(2 Cor 10:15).
Marriage is a journey with another person. Like any journey there will be different seasons.
I suggest to the OP you start making your husband your soul mate. Stop thinking about your needs and ask God how you can meet his. I agree with csl7037. Also ditto Karlie's post - your husband may be feeling the same. If you are not talking to each other how can you possibly connect?
It can be hard to open up to someone if the walls have been up for a long time but I suggest you start, in little ways, to build some trust. Pray and ask the Lord to remind you of little things that you do like about him. It might be something that he did once that made you laugh (when we first got married my dh used to pretend to fall out of bed just as I was about to fall asleep - remembering it still makes me smile). It might be something he has done well as a father. It might be that he is a hard worker. Whatever it is, not matter how small - tell him. You don't need to tell him all at once either - just drop your appreciation in at odd times during the day and take him by surprise.
quote:
...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I think as you do, God will open up your heart and maybe start healing your marriage.
Blessings
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/7/2008 8:24:33 AM
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csl7037
Posts: 849
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
quote:
Honestly, I think everyone feels that way at some point. What you have to do is focus on being/becoming the wife God has called you to be.
If you are referring to feeling "like oil and water" and questioning the wisdom of having married your spouse, I agree.
That's exactly what I mean. Certainly allowing that to spiral into an out of control fantasy and shunning the spouse is not normal, productive, or justifiable.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/7/2008 9:23:33 AM
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car2ner
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This is incredibly tough to call from simple posts online. I can tell you this though,I agree that fantasizing about a better man is asking for trouble. You can't make your spouse a soul mate but you can do all that you can to try and be a "soul mate". After that, you have to let God sort things out.
Not always easy but if this is the man God has for you, being oil and water won't kill the marriage.
_____________________________
bungalow time http://www.car2ner.2ya.com (my blog)http://car2ner.imagekind.com/ (my portfolio)
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/7/2008 12:40:27 PM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1516
Joined: 5/27/2006
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quote:
I find myself day dreaming about other men and I know it's a sin but I can't help it. I know the Bible teaches that we are to love our husbands and stay in our marriages but what if you're miserable sometimes?
The part of the quote in bold is a lie. You sure can help it. You can stop the daydream the moment you are aware of where your mind is going, confess your sin to God and ask forgiveness, and find something else to do with your mind.
Maybe you could memorize and meditate on Psalm 16: 1-8, especially verse six. You could try praising the Lord for the good life He has given you, even if it doesn't feel good at the time.
quote:
1Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.
2O my soul, thou hast said unto the LORD, Thou art my Lord: my goodness extendeth not to thee;
II
3But to the saints that are in the earth, and to the excellent, in whom is all my delight.
4Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after another god: their drink offerings of blood will I not offer, nor take up their names into my lips.
5The LORD is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot.
6The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage.
7I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.
8I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
I apologize if my blunt response seems harsh, but that foolish daydreaming is a dead-end street to nowhere. Bring your thoughts captive to the obedience of God's Word, and everything in your life will be sweeter, including your marriage.
II Corinthians 10: 3-5
quote:
3For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
4(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)
5Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
_____________________________
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost..." -J. R. R. Tolkien
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/7/2008 1:29:48 PM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 816
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Well feelings are fickle... your spouse isn't your soul mate - Jesus is!
Your husband is your help-meet/help-mate and you are to be his help-meet/help-mate.
You help each other as you journey through life together and God is your guide and main focus, the Bible is source of truth and your sword.
Love is a choice not a feeling - it's committing yourself to your spouse to be loyal/faithful to him or her with your whole being - thoughts and body.
*Have you ever noticed how the dream man or lover is just what you need?
Dreams can lead you astray... because the man of your dreams doesn't have flaws!
This is how Satan baits us into looking for something better!
Real people have flaws - please remember that... no one is perfect - so don't allow your dreams to feed you false information! Renew your mind upon God's Word (Bible) - cast down those thoughts that are sugar-coated lies! You have the power to take captive those thoughts - bring them under obedience to God's Word.
Don't "drift" - you saying you can't help it ... that is a sure sign you're unsteady(drifting) in your faith... get yourself on firm foundation - grow in faith.
Read the Word, believe/trust the Lord and His Word; pray and if you don't have a mentor - it'd be a good thing to find a mature Christian woman to mentor you. Fellowship with other Christian ladies - find
activities you and your husband can do together - that increases your bond as a couple - ever thought or considered doing a couples workshop (suggestion: Weekend To Remember or www.familylife.com)
Turn the focus from self and focus on God - discover what He wants to do, not only in your life but in your marriage as well.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/7/2008 2:08:57 PM
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APZR
Posts: 742
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: GA
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I'd say try some family counseling... you've got to reconnect and find the fire that once drew you together. There was at one time something that made you interested in him, gotta dig that up again.
quote:
You made a covenant before God, so it doesn't matter whether you now think
To play devils advocate... if you were not saved as a child of God at the time of marriage, and you didn't vow to God for better or worse, then is it a covenant before God?
_____________________________
Ya can't keep trouble from visitin, but you don't have to offer it a chair.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/7/2008 2:13:15 PM
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karlie
Posts: 16591
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
Status: online
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quote:
if you were not saved as a child of God at the time of marriage, and you didn't vow to God for better or worse, then is it a covenant before God?
That would actually be a question that would have to be asked in the One Stop thread on divorce. That's the only place questions and discussion of that nature are allowed.
_____________________________
Shoes CAN change your life...just ask Cinderella
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/7/2008 5:43:32 PM
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onajrny
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From: Virginia
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I appreciate everyone's advice, especially those who acknowledge that we're ALL human and have fickle feelings. Trust me, I realize this is not how God wants me to behave and think but I'm asking for His help daily to get back on track. Everyone backslides...everyone. I also realize that silly daydreams are fantasy and the grass is not greener on the other side but as I said before, I'm human and make mistakes. Please understand, I love Jesus and I realize that thinking of other men is lusting and adultery and is a sin but let those who have no sin cast the first stone. I'm only saying that because a few people act like they've never looked at another woman or man, if you haven't that's remarkable but I come to God with all my frailties and imperfections. I am a person who is walking daily with the Lord and I'm learning and growing but I do have set backs. I definitely realize that Jesus will forgive when people won't. I was at a very low moment when I posted my question but deep in my heart I knew I should just take it to the Lord and not ask for advice from a forum but as I said before, I'm weak and make silly mistakes. I do thank some of you for your wisdom and guidance though. I fully intend to honor God and my husband but no one said that it would be easy and no one said that temptations and "feelings" wouldn't get in the way. Thank you to the person that reminded me that love is a choice, not a feeling. You're so right and I'm working hard on following the Lord's guidance and not my own. God bless you all.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/7/2008 9:32:47 PM
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Above_All
Posts: 11998
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: man's rib
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I may have missed it but was it mentioned about your husband's salvation? I know you mentioned yours that happened about two years ago. If your husband is not a believer then it is understandable that you are both like oil and water. No matter how much you love G-d, if you have become unequally yoked with him then you can expect to clash. But you two are married. Your union is no less void. G-d has reached out to you first. I say first because eventually He will use you to witness to your husband. And the first witness is your willingness to be just like Jesus and to be the wife he has called you to be. If he feels in any way that you don't love him anymore he will soon learn something that's a lie. You DO love him. Perhaps you just don't love the things ABOUT him.
It's not uncommon to love those you are unequally yoked with but not like them. And it's easy to not show love when we don't like. It's a spiritual battle that's within us. But ultimately, that doesn't change the fact that you are his wife. And your responsibility is greater now than it was before. You are no longer just a wife. You are a witness.
_____________________________
<--- Our engagement sketch
Table for Two...Making disciples
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/8/2008 3:05:23 PM
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Liveloved
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Dear Onajrny,
I read both of your posts and I've prayed for you. I like your tag---you are on a journey. Thanks for honestly sharing it with us. God LOVES honesty and it is just that, your honest confession of where you are right now, that shows me you are His and truly desire to walk in His ways. So bless her mightily, Lord!
Let me first say that the man you are married to IS God's intended husband for you. Your marriage vows are for a lifetime commitment to one another. That is what God says. So if you are desiring to please Him, you will say thank You to the Lord for this man, your husband, and ask the Lord to change YOU into the woman He desires you to be, the wife your husband needs, and the godly example of womanhood that I know is your heart's desire.
I've been married for thirty three years now and you know what? Many times my husband and I seem like oil and water too. But God takes that oil and water (or is it vinegar?) and mixes it up and it works! I think it was Kahlil Gibran who said let there be spaces in your togetherness. God says we become one flesh but we remain individuals and that individuality is beautiful. You haven't had very long (two years? walking with Jesus) to allow all the beauty to come forth.
You need good fellowship around God's word with godly older women. Find a Bible Study Fellowship group to join or a church that has good, solid women's Bible study programs and seek out a friend from someone who has been there, done that and knows from personal experience the hardwork and commitment that goes into marriage.
Stop the fantasizing and start BELIEVING that God has blessed you with this man and it is good. He has good things for you and He will give you your heart's desires as you put your trust in Him. He has for me. I know He will for you. I'm praying this for you right now dear one.
Thank you for your openness and honesty. May God richly bless you and supply ALL your needs. He loves you and desires for you to know His love, deep down and personally. That's my prayer for you too. I have found Him to be the most wonderful lover of my soul ever!   His love is shining down on you, LL
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/9/2008 11:24:53 AM
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frazzledmom
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Dear onajrny
You are walking in my footsteps sister-just stop it right now before you hurt more people! Wrong thinking will eventually lead to wrong action if you let it simmer long enough. Been there, done that....got the emotional scars, guilt and shame and a lost friendship with one of my best friends to prove it. I even tried to use my husband's problems / issues to justify my actions. Not smart.
I'm kind of reading between the line of what what you didn't mention in you OP.....if I'm reading right, you are now a believer, but your husband is not.
That's a big difference to overcome, but not impossible. Add to that personality differences, male/female differences and the challenges of daily life and....well, it's a challenge to stay connected. It's a choice to swim upstream against the prevailing currents that would tear marriages apart.
Here are my recomendations in no particular order:
1. Focus on being the wife your husband needs and showing him what Jesus is like.
2. Learn about love languages. You might prefer expressing love one way; he might best hear it another way. Try to find The Five Love Languages at your library and look through it.
3. Similarly, learn about male/female differences. Many times what seems to be driving us crazy or tearing us apart could be just the way God rigged us.
I reccommend Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerich.
4. Pray God's Word for your husband. I reccommend Praying God's Will for Your Husband by Lee Roberts.
5. Renew your mind every day with the Word of God. Fill your surroundings with praise music. Think on what is good, right, noble, praiseworthy, etc.
6. Get busy! Distract your mind in positive ways with work, volunteering, or projects.
7. Realize your husband can't fill the deepest need in your life-only God can.
8. If your husband is willing, try to have ten minutes of "couch time" every day where you connect face-to-face about the day's happenings and your feelings. A pastor reccommended this to my husband and it is one of the best, most simple/basic, most effective ways to stay connected....when we use it !
9. Join your husband on an activity HE enjoys. Guys want to share their recreation with us.
10. Ask God for help with physical intimacy. If you are able, initiate and surprise him. Maybe even do something that would make him speechless and thankful he married you!
Best wishes and hugs to you. Keep your eyes open for the "unequally yoked" threads. I've seen them around. There are other posters around who are in similar situations who have great wisdom to share.
Frazzledmom
_____________________________
I hear, I forget.
I see, I remember.
I do, I understand.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/9/2008 4:31:14 PM
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onajrny
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From: Virginia
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HenriettasCat, frazzledmom, Liveloved, Above_All, jaimestarcross, car2ner, 3cappuccinosmom, csl7037-----God bless you all. I can imagine myself sitting in a coffee/book shop just talking about life with all of you. Thank you for all of your loving, Christian advice and your "gentle" smacks upside my head. I definitely consider myself a spiritual youth, not quiet a baby, but my walk with the Lord is new and I'm growing every day. When I posted originally, I was in the lowest place (thought-wise) I'd been in long time. The devil knows how to get to me and I have to learn to fight him every day. My DH and I go to a good church and I'm so thankful to God for leading us both there. My husband doesn't talk about it much but I don't feel that he's given his life to the Lord but he is seeking Him and I'm so grateful for that. My husband has many faults but guess what...so do I, surprise, right? My mind is so different now and I'm still praying for strength to cast down these sinful thoughts whenever they rear their ugly head. I do have control over my thoughts and to previously state that "I can't help it" is so wrong. I know these things but for a week or so I felt like I was walking in shadows, it was an awful feeling. Thank God for his precious light that I can follow. I so want to be a good, Godly wife and I need to stop wishing my husband would change this or that about himself and start working on me. One of you said that I could be a witness to my husband, Amen. I need to mature a little more, I have to admit it. My thoughts take control over me and sometimes I let them. The Lord has shown me this past week that I would totally be lost without Him. I knew this but I hadn't really hit an emotional low that made me reach up to the Lord for help. Praise God that he accepts me for all my wicked, sinful ways. I also thank Him for wonderful Christians in this world like you. May God bless you and keep you all.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/9/2008 9:45:33 PM
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carl54
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Is your husband the one God chose for you? I don't think anyone knows the answer to that question. But what we do know is that he is your husband and what God expects is that you do all the things he says in the Bible that you ought to do as a christian wife.
Did God intend for Bathsheba to be David's wife (remember, David lusted after her and had her husband killed so he could have here)? He certainly did not condone David's lustfullness and murderous acts. However, once they were married God blessed them with a son, Solomon, who was the wisest man that ever lived and through whose lineage the Crist was born. And that's what God does. He extends mercy to us and choses to bless us even when we make choices that he might not have want for our lives. You made the choice to marry your husband. Period. That decision has been made, you should accept that and press forward from that fact. All things will work for your good if you remain in God's will, love your husband, forsake all others and remain obedient to God.
_____________________________
Walk in the Sirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Gal 5:16
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/10/2008 12:03:59 AM
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truthrevealed
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onajrny, as a fairly new believer your journey is just beginning so don't be discouraged when those thoughts and feelings invade again, even if they become more pervasive and don't give up on yourself if you make the mistake of dwelling on thoughts that you know you should not(and that includes fantasizing about other men and even thoughts of doubt that you will ever be happy in your marrige...because with God ALL things are possible). What's most important is to keep PRESSING TOWARD THE MARK......despite what the enemy does to distract you, tempt you or harass you..and you'll MAKE IT.......and you'll be able to help someone else make it too!!!
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/10/2008 6:44:42 AM
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car2ner
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I agree with getting together with gals like Live Love suggested. It feels good to "think outloud", that is how women mull things over in their mind (and it drives m'love nuts sometimes).
There are always challenges in this life and the one thing we can have some control over, with the help of the Holy Spirit, is our thought life. Keep on doing what you know is right and let God handle the rest. It seems that He often does things that completely surprise us and sometimes the very thing we asked for, so be careful what you pray, but always for the good. He has the long view.
_____________________________
bungalow time http://www.car2ner.2ya.com (my blog)http://car2ner.imagekind.com/ (my portfolio)
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/10/2008 9:15:59 AM
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sandrasq
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From: Tennessee
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You are headed down a dangerous path when you start allowing your emotions to control you. If they don't line up with what the word says, I don't care how strong they may be., they are wrong. That is what we call crucifying the flesh. And we all know that Crucifying anything is not easy but necessary to receive the abundant life that Christ has for us.
Start lining your thoughts up to God's thoughts. We know for sure that daydreaming about other men other that your spouse does nto line up with what the word tells us. His word tells us that by doing that you have already committed adultery in your heart. Ask forgiveness for that and then start applying God's kind of Love.( Unconditional) in your marriage.
You may say that you don't feel like it, but we may not feel like loving our enemies but God tells us to do just that.
Did you know that Love is something that you can learn?. Maybe a Chrisitan mentor or counselor could help .. Titus 2:4 says that the older women are to teach the younger women how to love their husbands and their children. You see carnal love is completely motivated by the emotions or senses but God's love comes from the heart, and although the feelings are definitely affected they don't motivate or deter God's Love. Thank Goodness.
So ask yourself, What is your motivation? Are you seeking to feel better right away. Or are you willing to crucify the flesh and suffer some to get the greater outcome? DO you really want God's will and way or your own? I would hope that you choose GOD's WIll and Way.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/10/2008 1:32:04 PM
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Yetto1997
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quote:
I think questioning whether or not we married "the right one" or "the one God made for us" is a very dangerous slope that leads to further discontentment and pain for everyone. As long as you are going there in your mind, you will never be content in your marriage. The truth is, once we commit to someone and enter into marriage with them, they are the right one, even if it wasn't the original intention of God or the one we should have chosen. It's now a covenant and it's time stop questioning what could have or should have been, and to look at what we can do to breathe life into that marriage and become the spouse we should be.
I think looking at this from your husband's point of view may help you see things a little more clearly. It's very likely he is feeling the same exact way as you...it's rare that one spouse is discontent while the other is just completely satisfied and thrilled with the marriage. He is probably feeling as lonely and isolated as you are in the marriage, and maybe even questioning himself if he made the right decision. The only way that will change is for one of you to reach out to the other and decide to create change and closeness in the marriage.
In the end, no matter who we are married to, being a good wife(or husband) comes down to doing it for God and not always for the person we are married to. Being the spouse God wants us to be means giving our will over to God. If we can't do the right thing for love of our spouse, then we should be able to begin by looking at it as an act of obedience to God. Often, behaving our way into real change, even when we don't feel it, creates a change of heart and a change in our emotions. Sometimes, it's the act of obedience and just doing what's right that releases the flow of blessings back into that area of our lives.
Amen! I agree that it is hard to truly access a situation and offer advice through a post, although I think that Karlie did a great job. There are times when we pray to God and ask for understanding, patience, or help in general to become the person that we want to be. What we must keep in mind is keeping our hearts open to the opportunities in our lives that allow us to be that person. God wants to provide for us, but we need to be willing to submit. "In everything give thanks, for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5 18) When we rely on our own understanding, we tend to justify our actions. It's easy to get caught up in a whirlwind of emotion and hurt when we're arguing with our spouses, and it's easier to fall back into old behaviors of dealing with that pain. Isn't that just what the devil wants us to do when he's whispering in our ears? What we need to remember is that God may be using our spouses to teach us about something inside our hearts, and He may be giving us an opportunity to change our ways and choose His path. When we're not fully in tune to His voice, it's sometimes difficult to see the chances that He offers to become the person we so desperately pray to be. We become one flesh with our spouses, and we rely on them to make us stronger. If I feel that I am impatient, I am grateful to God for giving me a husband who teaches me ways to attain patience (regardless of how frustrating that may seem!  ) Remember to show yourself as an example in speech, conduct, love, faith, and purity, and in His own proper time, God will bless you. I keep you in my prayers.
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RE: Does anyone feel like their husband/wife is not the... - 7/10/2008 11:34:16 PM
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deborlie
Posts: 82
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
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The thought may have crossed the mind, but the smart one will put the thought behind them.
Dear one,
Love is not a feeling!
You are not out of love, you are out of infatuation.
Love grows on beyond the infatuation stage, sometimes without notice.
It becomes like an old comfortable shoe.
Satan has handed you an apple and you are eating it.
The others are right in what they are telling you. The kindest thing and the most loving thing we can do is warn you (and anyone else who finds themselves in this situation, and there are plenty of others.)
Your living in a dream world, that does not exist.
If you were married to any other man, you would feel no different about him than you do right now once the infatuation has worn off.
You are priviledged in your thinking only if:
He has comitted adultry against you in someway.........or
you are in an abusive situation that you are wanting out of?
Dreaming of being out of such a situation does not help, it has to be acted up on.
There is help for anyone in any of these situations. (Start with your church if you can.)
If I read you correctly, you are attempting to seek happiness.
He can't make you happy, only you can do that, and that has to be your choice.
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You made a covenant before God, so it doesn't matter whether you now think it was a good idea or now. You're married, for better or for worse. 
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