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Do you excuse... - 6/11/2008 5:47:31 PM
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MissInnocent
Posts: 152
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Ladies, do you let the excuse "boys will be boys" or "it's just how they were made" to let guys get by acting like pigs?
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/11/2008 6:37:29 PM
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stellaluna
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Nope.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/11/2008 6:50:29 PM
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karlie
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Nope. No more than I excuse women for bad behavior just because it's PMS time. Everyone needs to be responsible for their actions and behaviors no matter what gender they are.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/11/2008 7:17:26 PM
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clag4christ
Posts: 2844
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quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
Nope. No more than I excuse women for bad behavior just because it's PMS time. Everyone needs to be responsible for their actions and behaviors no matter what gender they are.
Indeed...
I also don't meet people (men specifically) expecting nor thinking that they're 'already' pigs because they're men. That's sexist, elitist, and wrong...men are just as good a creation as women are in the Lord.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/11/2008 7:20:19 PM
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BrowneyedAL
Posts: 558
Joined: 2/26/2008
From: North Alabama
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quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
Nope. No more than I excuse women for bad behavior just because it's PMS time. Everyone needs to be responsible for their actions and behaviors no matter what gender they are.
I completely agree...no matter how I feel, I still control my actions...I can choose to give in to impulses or my 'natural' tendencies...or I can choose not to...and that is the same regardless of gender.
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I have learned in whatever state I am to be content (Philippians 4:11)
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/11/2008 11:46:37 PM
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MissInnocent
Posts: 152
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quote:
ORIGINAL: clag4christ
quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
Nope. No more than I excuse women for bad behavior just because it's PMS time. Everyone needs to be responsible for their actions and behaviors no matter what gender they are.
Indeed...
I also don't meet people (men specifically) expecting nor thinking that they're 'already' pigs because they're men. That's sexist, elitist, and wrong...men are just as good a creation as women are in the Lord.
Oh I agree. I don't like when men go "oh women are..." either. But in some ways I find the attitude of "hahaha. he's just being a guy. it's okay" WORSE than "all men are scum." Oh if he wants to talk that way it's fine. It's just a guy's sense of humor. He's gonna look at Playboy and go to strip joints, so what? UGH! Gimme a break.
Sorry I got into this rant over something that happened a couple weeks ago that led me calling a guy a friend and I were talking about a scumbag (yeah later I felt bad for going that far) and her going all "he's just a guy" on me. It was another friend who then pointed out to me he's not a scumbag he's not just a Christian.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/11/2008 11:51:06 PM
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clag4christ
Posts: 2844
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MissInnocent
quote:
ORIGINAL: clag4christ
quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
Nope. No more than I excuse women for bad behavior just because it's PMS time. Everyone needs to be responsible for their actions and behaviors no matter what gender they are.
Indeed...
I also don't meet people (men specifically) expecting nor thinking that they're 'already' pigs because they're men. That's sexist, elitist, and wrong...men are just as good a creation as women are in the Lord.
Oh I agree. I don't like when men go "oh women are..." either. But in some ways I find the attitude of "hahaha. he's just being a guy. it's okay" WORSE than "all men are scum." Oh if he wants to talk that way it's fine. It's just a guy's sense of humor. He's gonna look at Playboy and go to strip joints, so what? UGH! Gimme a break.
Sorry I got into this rant over something that happened a couple weeks ago that led me calling a guy a friend and I were talking about a scumbag (yeah later I felt bad for going that far) and her going all "he's just a guy" on me. It was another friend who then pointed out to me he's not a scumbag he's not just a Christian.
I suppose your thoughts greatly depend upon exactly *what* kind of guys you're associating with. The men I know aren't like this. They don't speak with foul language, don't look at porn, don't visit strip clubs, don't get drunk, don't use drugs, etc., etc.
If you're hanging out with men that are doing these things you should seriously reconsider your circle of friends, especially if they're not saved.
If these said men are attending church then I think you should possibly rethink your church or come to your friends in love and tell them the things they are involved in are *not* honoring to God.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/12/2008 12:15:50 AM
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MissInnocent
Posts: 152
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Actually it's not someone we hang out with, it's just someone we know of.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/12/2008 12:20:14 AM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 6411
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From: Sterling Ct.
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Nope,I don't excuse Guys rude behaviour or womens either.We should all act in the way that Jesus does.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/12/2008 2:14:29 AM
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waiting2be_called
Posts: 230
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From: Canada
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quote:
ORIGINAL: karlie
Nope. No more than I excuse women for bad behavior just because it's PMS time. Everyone needs to be responsible for their actions and behaviors no matter what gender they are.
I completely agree! I also would add "being pregnant" to the women's side too. It really upsets me when I hear a woman use being pregnant as an excuse to be rude/snippy to people, or to not need to use manners (not excusing themselves, etc.).
My husband and his friends are all very respectful, at least in the company of women, and I have never once been disgusted with their actions around me. OTOH, some guys in my husband's Kung Fu class can carry on in all sorts of ways -inappropriate talk about women (especially in the presence of other women), swearing (in front of children) , etc.- but I attribute it to their individual personalities, not to the fact that they are male.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/12/2008 7:31:45 AM
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Georgia-Peach
Posts: 1900
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From: Georgia on my mind
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quote:
Nope. No more than I excuse women for bad behavior just because it's PMS time. Everyone needs to be responsible for their actions and behaviors no matter what gender they are.
I agree!
Actually the whole "boys will be boys" bugs me to no end especially now that I am raising a boy. Just because a boy is a boy doesn't mean he can't be taught how to behave or act appropriately.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/12/2008 9:26:40 AM
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Consecrated2God
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I think sometimes I might use that phrase in order to understand male behavior, but not to excuse it.
I was raised in a family with mostly girls, and the two boys in our family were more interested in art and dance and music than rough and tumble stereotypical boy behavior. They were also a lot younger than me. One of my brothers was about seven when I got married, and the other wasn't born yet. So I really was clueless when it came to the behavior of boys.
My oldest son collects walnut shells in his bedroom, picks up frogs, teases his sisters mercilessly, takes things apart to see how they work and leaves the pieces everywhere, dislikes taking baths, and the list goes on. I cleaned his room the other day when he was at camp, (I left him a bill from Mommy's Maid Service) and picked up an entire box of spilled screws off the floor. When I clean the girls' room, it's pony beads and earrings I find on the floor, not screws, dirt clods, and walnut shells.
I'm constantly asking my husband if his behavior is normal for boys, and I'm assured he is. I'm still determined to civilize him, though!
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/12/2008 9:31:22 AM
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fluffmonkey
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Nope, also dont excuse womens behavior either...
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/12/2008 11:55:52 AM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4130
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From: The higher lowcountry
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I don't like the general term of "typical behavior" for anyone.
Boys will be boys or an exasperated "women!" is not biblical.
We are all "typically sinful" but we can also exercise self-control and avoid the sinful behavior.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/12/2008 9:52:06 PM
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MissInnocent
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
I think sometimes I might use that phrase in order to understand male behavior, but not to excuse it.
I was raised in a family with mostly girls, and the two boys in our family were more interested in art and dance and music than rough and tumble stereotypical boy behavior. They were also a lot younger than me. One of my brothers was about seven when I got married, and the other wasn't born yet. So I really was clueless when it came to the behavior of boys.
My oldest son collects walnut shells in his bedroom, picks up frogs, teases his sisters mercilessly, takes things apart to see how they work and leaves the pieces everywhere, dislikes taking baths, and the list goes on. I cleaned his room the other day when he was at camp, (I left him a bill from Mommy's Maid Service) and picked up an entire box of spilled screws off the floor. When I clean the girls' room, it's pony beads and earrings I find on the floor, not screws, dirt clods, and walnut shells.
I'm constantly asking my husband if his behavior is normal for boys, and I'm assured he is. I'm still determined to civilize him, though!
It's funny I was actually "tomboyish" when I was little. Playing in the dirt, digging for worms. I played with baby dolls and Barbie as well as Hot Wheels and Legos.
quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
I don't like the general term of "typical behavior" for anyone.
Boys will be boys or an exasperated "women!" is not biblical.
We are all "typically sinful" but we can also exercise self-control and avoid the sinful behavior.
Exactly I don't think "typical" works for either gender. Another thing I would like to add is there are some folks yes even Christians that get all worked up over things like SOLELY blaming a woman for not dressing "modestly" cause men can't HELP but look at her since God made them visual creatures. And and then assuming that women AREN'T visually driven.  I just don't understand those concepts.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/13/2008 10:30:45 AM
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Szaftoo
Posts: 866
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From: So. Calif.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
I do believe there are generalizations that can be made about both genders, but tendencies towards certain behavior doesn't justify or excuse piggishness.
I agree, men and woman are wired differently which is what makes us work well together. I think when we reocnize and accept our differences life runs more smoothly.
However, I agree we can't use it as an excuse to be jerks.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/13/2008 10:33:23 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5175
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Jesus Land
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MissInnocent
quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
I think sometimes I might use that phrase in order to understand male behavior, but not to excuse it.
I was raised in a family with mostly girls, and the two boys in our family were more interested in art and dance and music than rough and tumble stereotypical boy behavior. They were also a lot younger than me. One of my brothers was about seven when I got married, and the other wasn't born yet. So I really was clueless when it came to the behavior of boys.
My oldest son collects walnut shells in his bedroom, picks up frogs, teases his sisters mercilessly, takes things apart to see how they work and leaves the pieces everywhere, dislikes taking baths, and the list goes on. I cleaned his room the other day when he was at camp, (I left him a bill from Mommy's Maid Service) and picked up an entire box of spilled screws off the floor. When I clean the girls' room, it's pony beads and earrings I find on the floor, not screws, dirt clods, and walnut shells.
I'm constantly asking my husband if his behavior is normal for boys, and I'm assured he is. I'm still determined to civilize him, though!
It's funny I was actually "tomboyish" when I was little. Playing in the dirt, digging for worms. I played with baby dolls and Barbie as well as Hot Wheels and Legos.
quote:
ORIGINAL: doinkdom
I don't like the general term of "typical behavior" for anyone.
Boys will be boys or an exasperated "women!" is not biblical.
We are all "typically sinful" but we can also exercise self-control and avoid the sinful behavior.
Exactly I don't think "typical" works for either gender. Another thing I would like to add is there are some folks yes even Christians that get all worked up over things like SOLELY blaming a woman for not dressing "modestly" cause men can't HELP but look at her since God made them visual creatures. And and then assuming that women AREN'T visually driven. I just don't understand those concepts.
I'm not sure if you got the point of my post. I mentioned that my brothers did not exhibit stereotypical boy behavior, so I wasn't trying to say that boys act one way and girls act another. I am well aware that there are girls that play in the dirt and boys that play with dolls. My point was, because of my background, I didn't have any experience dealing with a boy who did actually fit that stereotype. My boy could be the poster child for male stereotypes. Since it wasn't my experience on boy behavior, I'm having to ask my husband if it's normal for boys to act like that or not.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/13/2008 10:37:55 AM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4130
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consecrated2God
I'm so sorry, I was only replying to the OP. I didn't even think about your post and the questions you posed. 
I had girls to raise, but now I have grandsons and grandaughters to enjoy and yeah, it is a little different and a little weird at times.
The grandsons are a little (not extremely) more aggressive and the grandaughters are lil tomboys, but in a more playful sense rather than in a competitive way.
But all in all, the same rules still apply about self-control, language, tattling and getting permission.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/13/2008 3:28:57 PM
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MissInnocent
Posts: 152
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consecrated2God, my older brother wasn't all that typical when I look back on it. I mean he was more into wanting to be clean and stuff than me not being as fond of brushing my teeth and what not. So I did kinda get the point of your post. I was just relaying how I myself was as a child. That's why I don't lump stereotyples together for each gender.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Szaftoo
quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
I do believe there are generalizations that can be made about both genders, but tendencies towards certain behavior doesn't justify or excuse piggishness.
I agree, men and woman are wired differently which is what makes us work well together. I think when we reocnize and accept our differences life runs more smoothly.
However, I agree we can't use it as an excuse to be jerks.
Part of the problem I see though is folks not assuming men are scum. They don't see the bad behavior as scummy at all and THAT'S the thing I have a problem with. Women being OKAY with that kinda behavior. I sometimes even hear "I don't nes. approve of it BUT..."
I also am not entirely convinced in the differences between men and women based on my own experience. Such as the men are visual creatures but women aren't as I mentioned. Cause I...the first thing I look for on a fella is if I think he's good looking (that's not ALL that matters of course but that's for another thread lol).
< Message edited by MissInnocent -- 6/13/2008 3:35:10 PM >
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/13/2008 4:00:01 PM
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clag4christ
Posts: 2844
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From: We just moved to the big state of Texas!
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quote:
Part of the problem I see though is folks not assuming men are scum.
But men are NOT scum...your underlying premise there is faulty.
As far as visual stimulation and the differences between men and women...when that generalization is used it's not meaning that women don't look and find men pleasing to the eye. It's got more to do with sex. Men are turned on visually where as women (for the most part) are not. Women need other things to be turned on, touch, talking, etc.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/13/2008 4:11:29 PM
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MissInnocent
Posts: 152
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I didn't mean that men ARE scum. I was replying to someone who said it's wrong to assume that men are scum (and it is I agree.) But I pointed out that not all women I know who EXCUSE bad behavior do think of the behavior as scummy. They think it's perfectly fine and dandy. Which IMO is just as bad as assuming all men are pigs and not wanting a thing to do with them.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/13/2008 4:24:05 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5175
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Jesus Land
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Doinkdom,
That's okay, I was really responding more to MissInnocent anyway. Your post was in there too, since I replied to the whole post this time (which I don't usually do!) Lol. 
MissInnocent,
quote:
So I did kinda get the point of your post. I was just relaying how I myself was as a child. That's why I don't lump stereotyples together for each gender.
I don't lump sterotypes together for each gender, either, although there are certainly examples of people who do fit the stereotypes. Because you had posted your experience in a reply to my post, I was under the impression you were countering my experience with your own, when my experience has been very similar to yours.
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RE: Do you excuse... - 6/13/2008 6:55:24 PM
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MissInnocent
Posts: 152
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Don't worry. I guess I should have mentioned my brother's non-typical elments as well as mine. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
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