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Disappointment - 4/19/2008 10:08:01 PM
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Odile
Posts: 47
Joined: 7/15/2007
From: Northeast USA
Status: offline
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I don't know how many of you are single; it seems that the majority of "women only" issues are from wives and moms. Regardless, maybe you had a similar experience. Anyway....
For whatever God ordained reason I am the lone perpetually single individual within my church. After years of encouragements and promptings I broke down and attempted the online dating thing. I know that I can not rely on anyone other than God to affirm me as a person. I am not looking for a significant other so that I can start my life (though I would love to someday find someone to share my life with). However, I have discovered that I feel worse about myself now, after the dating site, than I did before. I used a Christian site, being that his faith would be the most important aspect of his personality, and assumed that these men would give me a fair shot. Only once I have shared my photos with these individuals they have either closed the match or stopped responding all together. This has happened 6 times. What am I suppose to make of that?
Yes, I realize that there needs to be an attraction in a relationship. And no I do not fault them for having preferences. But how can they feel there is nothing more to know about me after 1-3 brief communications and a handful of pics? How long should someone subject themselves to this process? Anyone have an encouraging online story? Any suggestions for making a profile more appealing? (even though I don't think I want to do this anymore).
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RE: Disappointment - 4/19/2008 10:37:25 PM
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Dakotasunbeam
Posts: 1146
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Midwest USA
Status: offline
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I've never done the online dating thing, but I know friends who have. And I cannot say they've been too happy with the results. Don't feel bad. Online, people are judging you based on a few answers to profile questions and a photo. That's it. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.
My advice, though, would be to try something a little more concrete. Like speed dating (I've never tried it, but I've heard it was fun). Also, getting involved in activities that will have more individuals of your age group/interest group. Volunteering for all kinds of things can be great. Learn how to discern the fruits of the Spirit so that you can spot a catch when you see one.  Do not automatically assume that you will only meet christian guys at church. Sometimes, church creates passive men. I've met christian guys that do not go to church, and they can be more aggressive and seek less "perfection." (i.e. they are realistic).
Open up a little more, talk to people you normally wouldn't. Watch for that Spiritual fruit as you interact. If you're invited somewhere, GO! (pray of course). Also reconcile in your mind that its okay to like a guy. I fully reserve the right to act like a dreamy girly girl in love when I meet Mr. Right. LOL  . I fully reserve the right to call him my, "Big strong hunk" and lavish him with my affections. A lot of singles are afraid to show their emotions. It's okay to like someone, smile and make eye contact. It's okay to be girly and giggly with a guy. Most guys take their cues from such action anyway. I'm not saying to act in any way that is unnatural for you, but rather don't stifle anything either.
Don't give up!
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RE: Disappointment - 4/20/2008 10:14:42 AM
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Szaftoo
Posts: 937
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: So. Calif.
Status: offline
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My single friends who have tried online dating weren't happy with the outcome. I agree with Dakota, volunteering is a great way to meet people, both men and women. You are with people who have the same interests which is automatically something you have in common. You see them on a regular basis and you get to really know them.
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