|
Users viewing this topic:
none
|
|
Login  | |
|
Consequences of disobedience in HS - 7/21/2008 5:15:57 PM
|
|
|
joannepir
Posts: 204
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: NY
Status: online
|
We are going to do a "homeschool vision" and want to sit down and think of consequences for disobedience in homeschooling. One of the reasons I ended up sending my kids to public school last year was the fact that I had to threaten corporal punishment as a consequence for arguing about doing work and disobedience. I refuse to bring my wooden spoon to the school table this year! 
What are some consequences when a child refuses, whines, or argues about doing their schoolwork? I've had days that I let the kids dawdle and told them that they still had to finish their schoolwork. One time they didn't finish their work until 8 p.m. They didn't like that, so finished on time after that.That just extends my day though. I have things that I want to do later in the afternoon. Also, they kids usually have music lessons or other activities that need to be done.
I'm just kind of curious as to how everyone else handles this. My kids are 11 & 8.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Consequences of disobedience in HS - 7/21/2008 6:30:13 PM
|
|
|
cindybode
Posts: 1599
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Northwest PA
Status: offline
|
First of all (and I'm just sayin', 'cause I don't know what you're using and I don't know your kids), if you have a constant struggle with getting most every lesson completed, I would look at whether the curriculum you're using fits your child. Children who are interested and engaged in what they're doing usually have a fairly easy time completing their work, at least in the subjects they like.
Having said that, I have certainly had these kinds of issues, usually when my literary/artsy/musical kids are contemplating a math assignment.  As a general rule I have a day a week set aside for fun stuff - sometimes an educational field trip, sometimes just a day at the lake - and if their work isn't done, we're not going. That's usually enough motivation to keep them on track. If not, I pull plugs (computer and video games) until it's done. On rare occasions I've had to plunk their butts in a chair and not let them up until they've finished, but that doesn't happen often.
I agree with Annie, though - I'm more interested in why they didn't get it done. Extenuating circumstances are taken into account and help is given as necessary.
_____________________________
If you lock in any creature, from rats to chickens to pigs to people, 10 to 30 or more in a box and force feed them you'll create little monsters. Confinement Education School Operations (CESOs) just don't compare to naturally pastured free-ranged kids.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Consequences of disobedience in HS - 7/22/2008 8:44:07 AM
|
|
|
timf
Posts: 564
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
|
Consequences of disobedience in HS
Why would HS be any different than any other home function?
In Acts there is a description of an almost riot. The people restrain themselves because it dawns on them that they may be called on to give an account for what they are doing (presumably by the Romans) and they have no legitimate reason to give.
We have found that this is a key (even with small children) to discipline. The child is asked to give an account of their behavior. Various penalties (swat on the hand, sitting in a chair, loss privilege, etc.) are administered after the adjudication of a particular case.
We deal more severely with lying. Honoring truth is honoring Jesus. We go to great lengths to show a child that when they say it is someone else's fault, they are lying to themselves and this type of self-deception can lead to a permanent blindness that Jesus warned his disciples about by talking about the leaven of the Pharisees.
Truth may not be fun, comfortable, or easy, but it is essential.
As the child grows, they begin to form a perspective for evaluation of their own behavior in truth. If they have younger siblings they can often look with understanding at some of the same problems they had only a few years earlier.
If a child does not want to do school work, ask them why. Give them a chance to make their case. Nine times out of ten it will be a variation of "I don't want to". For the "I don't want to" statement the following can be used.
1. Doing what you don't want to is an important ability to develop. If you cannot master it, you will be a slave the rest of your life with hard taskmasters to tell you what to do. Summoning the will power to overcome the desire for selfish play or indolence is an important life skill to develop. If you do not want to use school work to develop it, maybe some difficult repetitive physical chore would help.
2. Why don't you sit on the chair until you do want to.
Sometime the child has a legitimate basis for complaint such as they didn't understand the earlier material.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Consequences of disobedience in HS - 7/24/2008 4:55:14 PM
|
|
|
mschickie
Posts: 8
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline
|
Are the music lessons something they enjoy? If so tell them if they do not get their work done then no lessons and they need to pay you back (since you probably still have to pay for the lesson if you cancel that day). If you have things that need to be done in the afternoon tell them that 1st thing in the morning and give them a deadline of when school needs to be done. If they miss the deadline then they have to continue when you get back and maybe loose a priviledge like t.v. or computers for a day.
If those ideas do not work then it really maybe that the curriculum is the issue and you need to look at what they are doing. I know with sd if she does not get things done then she has to stay up late or get up early. If not she risks missing things like youth group which she enjoys. We tell her everything up front so it is her choice.
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Consequences of disobedience in HS - 7/25/2008 11:08:59 AM
|
|
|
Sunnymom
Posts: 1909
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: joannepir
We are going to do a "homeschool vision" and want to sit down and think of consequences for disobedience in homeschooling. One of the reasons I ended up sending my kids to public school last year was the fact that I had to threaten corporal punishment as a consequence for arguing about doing work and disobedience. I refuse to bring my wooden spoon to the school table this year!
What are some consequences when a child refuses, whines, or argues about doing their schoolwork? I've had days that I let the kids dawdle and told them that they still had to finish their schoolwork. One time they didn't finish their work until 8 p.m. They didn't like that, so finished on time after that.That just extends my day though. I have things that I want to do later in the afternoon. Also, they kids usually have music lessons or other activities that need to be done.
I'm just kind of curious as to how everyone else handles this. My kids are 11 & 8.
School is a responsibility, and privileges are earned by fulfilling one's responsibilities. This is a principle that can be applied anywhere, any time, with any family.
While learning can take place at any time, there is nothing wrong with having a due date or time of completion for assignments or projects. If they need to be done with seatwork by dinner, and they aren't done because they've slacked off, then they can forego dinner...etc...
Also, one can be proactive by encouraging a 'team spirit' in the home, a "We're in this together" attitude that motivates kids to be a blessing because they want to, not because they have to.
_____________________________
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Consequences of disobedience in HS - 7/25/2008 1:19:35 PM
|
|
|
MrsDC
Posts: 180
Joined: 8/17/2005
From: Sinaloa, Mexico
Status: offline
|
As usual, I agree with Cindy! {Hi, Cindy!!!}
At the ages of 8 and 11, your kids are pretty much past the spanking age (my opinion, anyway). I think you're right to be deciding on other consequences.
Here's what we do, but you'll have to decide what will work for your crew. Whatever you decide, stick with it. It may take several weeks before you really see fruit.
Consequences for dawdling and (as we call it) dinking: no free time, missing out on other activities/privileges. Ds's excessively slow progress on his math assignment not only keeps him from going to a friend's house in the afternoon (because he's still dinkin' on the math), but when he's done, he has to hang out until I'm done grading it. Afterall, the school day is not technically over until the work is graded and returned. If he doesn't turn in his assignment until 5 minutes before the program on TV he wants to watch, he still may not get to watch it if I don't have time to grade it...at my leisure. The lesson this teaches is that one person's laziness effects everyone else in the family. If mom is the chief math grader and also head lunch-preparer, lunch may be late if one person dawdles and hands in a late assignment. Another thing I might do is require that the dawdler make the next meal (or at least do a lot of the grunt work -- scrubbing/peeling potatoes, etc.) while I grade his late assignment.
Consequences for arguing/back-talking: 10 minutes standing at the wall silently. Time starts when you're silent and restarts if you talk before the time is up. If you return to the table with the same bad attitude, you get sent back to the wall. When you can discuss the problem calmly and respectfully, we'll talk. But if Mom/Dad says, "No more discussion." That's the end. Period. Lesson: We all have things we have to do that aren't really that fun. Part of maturing is learning to do the things we don't really want to do, and to do them with a good attitude. Also, it's important for the kids to learn that Mom and Dad really do know what they're talking about, and not everything is up for debate. As our kids get older, we let them discuss more, but when the disrespectful tone of voice or the rolling of the eyes is there, the discussion ends. Adults don't treat each other that way (well, they shouldn't!).
Consequences for inter-student pestering (read that: "Mom, he's bugging me!"): one full page of cursive letters for each student involved in the altercation...even the presumably innocent one. Often the innocent one really isn't so innocent. (A line of the letters a, b, c, d, etc. and other letter combinations). Totally pointless busy-work, but you'd be amazed how quickly their writing improves!!! We object (personally, just opinion) to writing Bible verses as punishment. At times we've sent kids to their corners to search out verses which apply to their situation, but I don't want my kids to think that the Bible is only for use in correction. I also don't like writing sentences (personal issue for me). They already know what they did wrong. Writing "I will not pull my sister's hair" 500 times won't keep him from doing it again. Lesson: if you have time to be pestering your brother/sister, then your hands are not busy enough. So we'll get your hands busy. We've also dismissed bickering children to separate rooms to scrub floors, hang laundry, scrub toilets, chop tomatoes, etc. Whatever needs to be done for 10 or 15 minutes. We also make those chores pre-empt school. In other words, stop what you're doing and go do the chore you're told to do. You'll still have your school lessons to do, too, and you're not getting a whole lot more time to do them, so you might also receive consequences for dinking. That's life. Next time you'll keep your pencil out of your brother's ear and you won't be trying to tease your sister by making gross faces at her. Not that any of my kids would ever do that! Yours neither!!!!
Dawdling, arguing....whining. Ugh. I really don't like whining.
Whining reflects a complaining spirit and is treated the same way as arguing. If (particularly) my youngest daughter uses her whiney voice, I repeat what she should have said in an overly joyous voice -- then she has to say it that way. It helps her to realize what she should sound like (because sometimes I don't think she even knows how awful she sounds). But if the whining persists (and is accompanied by, oh say, stomping feet and fake tears) there's a wall that needs guarding for 10 minutes. Again, time starts when you're quiet and restarts if your mouth opens before the timer goes off. Lesson: We really don't like whining. Philippians 2:14 says, "Do all things without complaining or arguing!" You could make a small poster with that verse on it and stick it on the wall where you usually make the whiners stand. Sort of a "visual aid' idea! 
OK, I got long-winded again. I do that sometimes. Hope that was helpful! You are actually in a "transitional" stage of hsing. Sad to say that your kids are growing up and need to start taking responsibility for their own lessons, etc. I think you're on the way to success -- sounds like you see the need for a change and are willing to do it! Hang in there!!!! Feel free to email if you think I might be able to help...I listen to "venting" well, too!!!
Blessings!!!
-- Rebecca
_____________________________
*Just pretend I have a great signature with some profound statement and great graphics.*
Come check out my blog about living and homeschooling in Mexico!
|
|
|
|
|
RE: Consequences of disobedience in HS - 7/26/2008 10:14:09 AM
|
|
|
joannepir
Posts: 204
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: NY
Status: online
|
I think those are awesome! I'm going to copy some of them. I know homeschooling shouldn't be any different than other areas of parenting, but it is. I also know that unless you've established a good foundation of discipline, it is not possible to add homeschooling to your life.
I wanted some ideas that pertained solely to homeschooling so the kids know that school is not an option and needs to be done regardless. I do need to change some of our programs that get monotonous - drilling when they already know the material. I think that's why they get irritated that they "have" to do some things. It is hard to figure out what needs to be reviewed constantly and what doesn't. I've found that out the hard way - figuring the kids knew something but not don't because we discontinued the drills (math facts, phonic blends).
Thanks for the ideas!
|
|
|
|
 New Messages |
 No New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/ New Messages |
 Hot Topic w/o New Messages |
 Locked w/ New Messages |
 Locked w/o New Messages |
|
 Post New Thread
Reply to Message
Post New Poll
Submit Vote
Delete My Own Post
Delete My Own Thread
Rate Posts |
|
|
Forum Tools
Printable Version
All my kids hate it! 
